Shanti Sananda said:
Some of our people, who have the most potential, suffer alot. Those who are open and water types. Who then isolate themselves, and do alot of meditation. They go insane.
For these types it's best to scale back meditations, and learn how to have a real life, with friends and normal sane people. To find a job, and not sit around all day, thinking and thinking. It's sort of like if you homeschool a child, they become more intelligent, but they suffer a lot of problems dealing with normal life.
I can relate to that quite well.
A bit over a year ago, not long after I dedicated, there was a Demon I was particularly interested in. For a few weeks, I talked to Him all day every day, because there was so much I wanted to learn and experience and find out. At some point, even when I was spending time with my family, I was just trying to tune them out just so I could listen to Him more. But then, He told me to value my human relations more, and not to neglect the physical world. Even so, I remained curious and kept trying out new things just to find out what the limits are in spirituality.
In the end, I did go insane half a year later. My curiosity led me astray and some very naive individuals made me overconfident, and I took my experiments too far. Just because I kept getting results on the short term, as well as signs that both myself and others could see (which I later realised I was all manifesting myself), I figured I was on the right path and didn't notice all the completely absurd delusions that slipped in in the meantime. By the time I realised the entire foundation of half my beliefs was nothing but a self-sustaining lie that I kept manifesting signs for because I wanted to believe in it, I barely even remembered anymore who I was.
In the end, it was just doing mundane things with normal, sane people who cared about me that helped me remember who I am and helped me become grounded again.
I didn't realise until afterwards how much of a toll it had taken on me; I was basically in overdrive the whole time just to manifest all these things to keep the illusion going for myself and the others that got involved. At some point when I wasn't completely insane yet but I felt like I needed more power urgently, it came surging out of the base of my spine. It was hot and painful, but even so I kept wanting and needing more power over the next few weeks, so I tried to draw out even more and raise it further. At multiple occasions I heard my GD saying "stop" while I was doing that, but since other people kept encouraging me, I took it as "take a break and continue tomorrow" rather than "you shouldn't be doing this". That's when things really started to get out of hand with accidental manifestations.
I don't know what the fuck I did to my Kundalini back then, but for half a year after I came to my senses again I felt extremely fatigued physically and needed a lot of sleep, and whenever I had an orgasm I felt excruciating pain in all of my Chakras and in my spine, although it gradually lessened and merely caused headaches that lasted several days instead, until eventually it was fine again. I've been very conscious about not overdoing meditation and yoga since then, just doing small amounts consistently rather than pushing my limits at all.
All the praise I received just for accomplishing a few feats early on made me lose sight of the fact that I'm still very much a beginner, even now. I've only been dedicated or meditating for a bit over a year now. There's nothing impressive about pushing myself so hard that it destroys my mind and body alike, just to create false evidence to back up a fantasy. Taking it slow and steady is much safer and better, and that way I can just become powerful gradually over time when I'm actually ready for it (unlike before).
Rather than spending so much time trying to rush my spiritual advancement, I can just spend that time on making sure the mundane things are all in order. Like building a good career and saving up to buy a house, or taking more care of my physical health. At this point I'm starting to wonder why I was ever even in such a rush to begin with. I think I just wanted to impress others so they would compliment me more and ease some doubts I had? It all seems so stupid in hindsight, but I feel like I'm finally going about things properly now.