Bipolar Bear said:
I don't know about you guys, but I don't feel any high when I complete the new RTR. Is that because I am spiritually weak or is it because I am on antipsychotic medication?
I really really want to be of use to Father Satan, can you somehow guide me, so the when I do the ritual it has the desired effect ?
First, do many workings (I am on my 5th) to get rid of your Bipolar. It will take many years for that, since you/me are addicted to it.
Munkka and especially Ansus/Thaurisaz/Wunjo and also do void meditation, alternate nostril breath, and lots of yoga.
I ve been in this path for 4 years and FINALLY I have started to feel the effects of my meditations almost directly when I do them. I wouldn't worry about it so much, it's not about getting high and all.
Did you see your life getting better all this time you were a satanist? If yes, here is your answer
If not, this should motivate you to keep going.
Be strong warrior. If you have anything to ask about how to deal with bipolar/illusions etc feel free to quote me so I can reply, and also, you can open a thread on the subject. Trust me, we are a lot of people here that they label us "bipolars" but this is because of (((them))). we just react differently, and also, the fact your body works in this way is a sign that you have some bioelectricity going on (however, a healthy mind and a healthy aura can work and you can work your "sickness" at your favor).
Lastly, try invoking Thoth (meditate vividly on your 3rd eye) and on all your chakras basically to start feeling healthier. The healthier the chakras the better. Also, think of it as this. Since you are (((handicapped))) you need to work harder and harder compared to a more healthy individual. I know the medication sucks and I feel sorry that you/I have to go through all this shit, but unfortunately modern science has her a bit under (((control)))... But by all means.. That makes us feel more motivated and filled with hatred, and isn't hatred great when you want to do RtR my friend?