#200 Why is this happening all of a sudden?

[AskSatanOperator]

I have been attracted to girls all of my life. Since starting classes in college a few weeks ago, I have become attracted to a guy, and he is feminine and looks like a girl. At the same time, I am disgusted by this behavior (presumably because of my Christian influence, which I dislike now since Christianity is a negative influence) and I am attracted to him. I want to start a relationship with him and fall in love with him. We've become good friends, but I don't know if he knows yet or can tell that I have a crush on him. My dad is against homosexuality because he believes that it is "unnatural" and I wouldn't want him knowing, because I don't want him to possibly kick me out of the house. Am I just now realizing that I am bisexual, or what? Should I just play along with my dad or not, when he brings up the topic of "queers and their deviant behavior"?

 

[Kaemythra]

Two options, your true self is "coming out" which is extremely normal when you are on the path of Satan and meditation or because you think he looks like a girl, you have to analyze the situation well...would you feel comfortable kissing him? having affection? having a relationship with him? something sexual? really...meditate on it a bit and you will probably have your answer. The question of your father is a delicate one, I suggest you don't talk about it because it's dangerous for him to actually kick you out of the house, save money, work and have your own things and don't depend on him, that way you won't risk being kicked out . And I don't think you should go around telling everyone what you are or aren't, not out of shame or anything, but it's your private life and not everyone needs to know what you do or are.
There is no problem in being gay, lesbian or bisexual, it is something extremely normal, be proud of yourself.

 

[Truthseeker1301]

Thank you for the answer. I would be comfortable kissing him and having a relationship, because I feel like our souls are connected in some way or another (this is just what I believe). We've become good friends, so I think that it's possible. Not sure if he knows that I'm attracted to him yet, so. I have been thinking about him a lot outside of college too so I guess that's where the whole souls being connected thing comes from. I have only been 'into' Spiritual Satanism for a short while because of the constant brainwashing from my family and such, also being confused and worried about the whole situation of whether or not I would see my mom in the afterlife.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

I have been attracted to girls all of my life. Since starting classes in college a few weeks ago, I have become attracted to a guy, and he is feminine and looks like a girl.

It seems, this is happening while you changed something in your life, i.e. starting college. A life changing event may put higher pressures on your solar plexus chakra, for the higher efforte needed at the beginning, or on the contrary boost your self esteem for the new "adventure" and thus giving power to solar plexus chakra.
In my experience, case 1. will weaken your ego for a moment and may lead to let emerge something buried in yourself, that may NOT be the true yourself but a "part" of your unconscious that has been programmed to have a relationship with men, from previous life or childhood, in this case, this is not natural for you. Case 2. may help to bring out your true self that loves men for your natural way of being. It is barely not possible to tell here which is your case, what is sure, is that something is emerging from your mind to the conscious level. Only you can tell which is the "right" sexual orientation based on your inner feelings.

Some men are wrongly attracted to men because of childhood abuse by men. Some men are wrongly attracted to women because they have been programmed "this is standard for you".

Two options, your true self is "coming out" which is extremely normal when you are on the path of Satan and meditation or because you think he looks like a girl, you have to analyze the situation well...would you feel comfortable kissing him? having affection? having a relationship with him? something sexual? really...meditate on it a bit and you will probably have your answer.

Fully agree, that is a very interesting reply!

whether or not I would see my mom in the afterlife.

Why is that connected with the main question?
In any case I think only the Gods can reply to this doubt, as they can see where her soul will be located after death,

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

My dad is against homosexuality because he believes that it is "unnatural" and I wouldn't want him knowing,

I forgot to add a point.
My therapist said (and I agree, as it logically makes sense and feels right) that I have been able to let emerge my inner "problems" , while I distanced by my father - who is the cause of the issues. He said I barely allowed my self to remember, because I felt safer far from him, so I could let emerge inner feelings.
So, as you started college, you are distancing from your father authority. Probably, you are able to let emerge your inner self that was negated and buried by your father authority and hostile position against homosexuality, now that he has fewer power on you or you feel in a safer position because of your growing power.
This is just a possibility, but makes sense to me.

 

[Truthseeker1301]

It seems, this is happening while you changed something in your life, i.e. starting college. A life changing event may put higher pressures on your solar plexus chakra, for the higher efforte needed at the beginning, or on the contrary boost your self esteem for the new "adventure" and thus giving power to solar plexus chakra.
In my experience, case 1. will weaken your ego for a moment and may lead to let emerge something buried in yourself, that may NOT be the true yourself but a "part" of your unconscious that has been programmed to have a relationship with men, from previous life or childhood, in this case, this is not natural for you. Case 2. may help to bring out your true self that loves men for your natural way of being. It is barely not possible to tell here which is your case, what is sure, is that something is emerging from your mind to the conscious level. Only you can tell which is the "right" sexual orientation based on your inner feelings.

Some men are wrongly attracted to men because of childhood abuse by men. Some men are wrongly attracted to women because they have been programmed "this is standard for you".




Fully agree, that is a very interesting reply!


Why is that connected with the main question?
In any case I think only the Gods can reply to this doubt, as they can see where her soul will be located after death,

Oh, I just connected it with the main question because it was another topic that I was curious about if someone had an answer to. I wasn't meaning for it to sound like I was jumbling it up with the main question.