Sexuality #76901 Female Orgasm, My Problem

[AskSatanOperator]

It is embarrassing but this is the situation. I can't orgasm. I have a very high sex drive and it is frustrating. Sorry for the rant, bear with me please.

I'm 23 and I never had sexual penetration with a man. I never had an orgasm, a proper one at least. Not because it would be difficult to find a man to have sex.

In high school, I was under pressure because of bigot family. You know the regular stuff, don't wear this and that, no makeup, no speaking with boys. It didn't work. I would change my clothes after I leave home. Things got to a point that I would change my clothes, name, and age. Paint my face with makeup. I would become a different person. My first boyfriend was a college boy and I lied him about my name, age, everything... I'm not proud. I don't regret it either. I have an emphasis on mutable signs in birth chart. This kind of thing comes natural to me. I needed that at the time.

I liked that boy but I did not feel comfortable with sexuality. One very obvious reason is it would be a crime and I am not that evil. Secondly, only sexual thing I experienced to this point was harassment in a bus back when I was 12 and I guess it was traumatic. Thirdly, I felt obliged to do things because he was my boyfriend and it was stressful. I did not want him. I would go to his place but I would be relieved when my dad calls me and ruin the mood. Eventually I broke up with him.

After this, and maybe because of this, I seeked relationships that has phyisical challenges to get together. Like long distance relationships. This way, I wouldn't have to reject them. This is problematic, I know. Internally I don't think that I have the right to say no if I'm in a relationship so I would make the outer conditions won't allow it. I experienced strong emotions and loved these men (3 boyfriends in total, in high school and university) while I was with them but it did not feel right. I want to have sex like crazy but they did not feel right.

On one hand, I'm fantasizing and masturbating too often. I can go to a sex shop buy toys, no shame. All in vain though. I become too sensitive and can't finish it. On the other hand, I'm scared? repulsed? to have real sex. I'm avoiding it on purpose.

I lived alone for months on an exchange program for students and I thought about this situation for a long time. I did hang out in bars and played drinking games with strangers. I flirted with the security guard at the door that I will never see again and I had months-long relationships, I felt love. So I seriously was thinking, what is my problem? Why I don't want to have sex even though I really, really want it?

I'm twisted. I wish I was an experienced cool woman or a virtuous woman that cares about chastity so it would make sense. I'm twisted with oppressed feelings. After thinking about what I feel and what I want for a long time, I can say that I have a problem. I only want to have sex with someone I’d have children with. I'm waiting for someone that does not exist or may not exist. I want to look at a man and say ''What a beautiful man. This is what Father's image looks like in his creation. His bloodline needs to continue. I will do it for him.'' I'm in love with an idea. I fantasize about him and I don't want anyone else. I'm looking for him in everyone else. This imaginary man is honorable, chivalrous, and glorious.

I’m waiting for a knight in shining armor. I'm staying loyal to someone who may not exist. Nobody feels right. Maybe this is a thoughtform I created and bound myself unknowingly. Maybe a past life thing. I did munka for freeing before. I secretly hope he is real.

Where do I go from here? More cleaning sacral and base chakra? Yoga focusing on these chakras? I don't understand why I can't reach orgasm. Working to attract partner? My workings are for financial freedom, it is my priority. This issue is a sore spot in my life but freedom is more crucial.

To sum it up, I'm horny. Sorry for the language. I have super high sex drive but it is not directed at anyone. Nobody feels right, even the ones I was romantically involved in the past. I miss someone I have never met. A nameless, faceless, imaginary lover. Am I delirious? Am I delusional?I don't want a boyfriend. Not a husband. I want a blood oath. I dedicated 3 years ago and I didn't even hold hands with a man since then. I want it, I want affection in all possible ways but I'm repulsed by idea of doing it with any person I know. I will soon be considered a spinster by 17th century standards. Am I too old to be a virgin? Does it even matter? Is this my real personality or am I under programming of enemy religions as in waiting for marriage? I wish to have one lifelong partner, for lifetimes. What if he doesn't exist and I'm waiting for someone who does not exist?

 

[WrathOfVishnu]

No man is going to be perfect, everyone has flaws you have to be somewhat realistic. Waiting until marriage is completely okay, it is ultimately up to you. Work on your Sacral chakra a little more and really try to explore your sexuality, what turns you on about a man and what does not. Since you have been repressed for so long you have to try different things out. Some women do not have orgasms from penetration and instead need clitoral stimulation to climax.

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

It is embarrassing but this is the situation. I can't orgasm. I have a very high sex drive and it is frustrating. Sorry for the rant, bear with me please.

I'm 23 and I never had sexual penetration with a man. I never had an orgasm, a proper one at least. Not because it would be difficult to find a man to have sex.

In high school, I was under pressure because of bigot family. You know the regular stuff, don't wear this and that, no makeup, no speaking with boys. It didn't work. I would change my clothes after I leave home. Things got to a point that I would change my clothes, name, and age. Paint my face with makeup. I would become a different person. My first boyfriend was a college boy and I lied him about my name, age, everything... I'm not proud. I don't regret it either. I have an emphasis on mutable signs in birth chart. This kind of thing comes natural to me. I needed that at the time.

I liked that boy but I did not feel comfortable with sexuality. One very obvious reason is it would be a crime and I am not that evil. Secondly, only sexual thing I experienced to this point was harassment in a bus back when I was 12 and I guess it was traumatic. Thirdly, I felt obliged to do things because he was my boyfriend and it was stressful. I did not want him. I would go to his place but I would be relieved when my dad calls me and ruin the mood. Eventually I broke up with him.

After this, and maybe because of this, I seeked relationships that has phyisical challenges to get together. Like long distance relationships. This way, I wouldn't have to reject them. This is problematic, I know. Internally I don't think that I have the right to say no if I'm in a relationship so I would make the outer conditions won't allow it. I experienced strong emotions and loved these men (3 boyfriends in total, in high school and university) while I was with them but it did not feel right. I want to have sex like crazy but they did not feel right.

On one hand, I'm fantasizing and masturbating too often. I can go to a sex shop buy toys, no shame. All in vain though. I become too sensitive and can't finish it. On the other hand, I'm scared? repulsed? to have real sex. I'm avoiding it on purpose.

I lived alone for months on an exchange program for students and I thought about this situation for a long time. I did hang out in bars and played drinking games with strangers. I flirted with the security guard at the door that I will never see again and I had months-long relationships, I felt love. So I seriously was thinking, what is my problem? Why I don't want to have sex even though I really, really want it?

I'm twisted. I wish I was an experienced cool woman or a virtuous woman that cares about chastity so it would make sense. I'm twisted with oppressed feelings. After thinking about what I feel and what I want for a long time, I can say that I have a problem. I only want to have sex with someone I’d have children with. I'm waiting for someone that does not exist or may not exist. I want to look at a man and say ''What a beautiful man. This is what Father's image looks like in his creation. His bloodline needs to continue. I will do it for him.'' I'm in love with an idea. I fantasize about him and I don't want anyone else. I'm looking for him in everyone else. This imaginary man is honorable, chivalrous, and glorious.

I’m waiting for a knight in shining armor. I'm staying loyal to someone who may not exist. Nobody feels right. Maybe this is a thoughtform I created and bound myself unknowingly. Maybe a past life thing. I did munka for freeing before. I secretly hope he is real.

Where do I go from here? More cleaning sacral and base chakra? Yoga focusing on these chakras? I don't understand why I can't reach orgasm. Working to attract partner? My workings are for financial freedom, it is my priority. This issue is a sore spot in my life but freedom is more crucial.

To sum it up, I'm horny. Sorry for the language. I have super high sex drive but it is not directed at anyone. Nobody feels right, even the ones I was romantically involved in the past. I miss someone I have never met. A nameless, faceless, imaginary lover. Am I delirious? Am I delusional?I don't want a boyfriend. Not a husband. I want a blood oath. I dedicated 3 years ago and I didn't even hold hands with a man since then. I want it, I want affection in all possible ways but I'm repulsed by idea of doing it with any person I know. I will soon be considered a spinster by 17th century standards. Am I too old to be a virgin? Does it even matter? Is this my real personality or am I under programming of enemy religions as in waiting for marriage? I wish to have one lifelong partner, for lifetimes. What if he doesn't exist and I'm waiting for someone who does not exist?

The first thing I would like to tell you is that in a relationship your needs are also important, and you are not obliged to have sex with anyone to please them if you should solve situations first, because a relationship is based on mutual support and not on submission for either party.

Do Yoga for the sacral chakra, during the final relaxation savasana posture affirms that you heal sexually. Then go into trance, and hypnotize yourself affirming that you are free to express yourself sexually. You can also use spiritual work. But not MUNKA. Use the Wunjo rune to increase your psychological well-being in sex.

Finally, before I leave you with useful links, I would also like to tell you that in a relationship you also matter and not just your man. You don't have to live sex as a function of your man in order to guarantee him offspring and pleasure by giving up rights to your body. If a person really loves you he will be attracted to your character and personality. So you do not have to undo who you are or deny your needs and your place, because that is what makes you attractive and pleasing.

Overcoming Obstacles

Yoga: Sacral issues

The asanas here can be used along with a working for the Sacral chakra. This helps with sexual repression, sex addiction, low sex drive, reproductive issues, or to heal sexual traumas. In addition to the mantras given on the JoS for this chakra, Bjarkan rune is great for women for balancing and...

ancient-forums.com

Hypnosis

Futhark/Odin

https://satanslibrary.org/ExposingChristianity/15_Minute_Meditation.zip

 

[Scared Shirtless]

Seems like repressed emotions from your families bigotry. Like you feel you're doing something wrong when you actually aren't type of situation. That's always going to hold you back unless you face it head on. You'll likely find the answer you're looking for by exploring your shadow.

 

[HPS Lydia]

You don't have to have sex, you can have a boyfriend and use hands on each other. Just a finger stimulating the g-spot can be extremely satisfying, a full orgasm, even more so than a vibrator. And having intimacy with a partner (even if not actual sex) adds to the experience rather than masturbating by yourself.

It seems like these days, people think you have to either have nothing at all, or full-on sex. Nobody thinks about the middle ground anymore. A couple can have a fulfilling sexual relationship without actual sex, for quite a while until they are both ready.

And then you can heal yourself from the trauma you might have. Meditation alone helps a lot, connecting more with your Guardian Daemon, or do a working specifically for trauma.

 

[Shadowcat]

It is embarrassing but this is the situation. I can't orgasm. I have a very high sex drive and it is frustrating. Sorry for the rant, bear with me please.

I'm 23 and I never had sexual penetration with a man. I never had an orgasm, a proper one at least. Not because it would be difficult to find a man to have sex.

In high school, I was under pressure because of bigot family. You know the regular stuff, don't wear this and that, no makeup, no speaking with boys. It didn't work. I would change my clothes after I leave home. Things got to a point that I would change my clothes, name, and age. Paint my face with makeup. I would become a different person. My first boyfriend was a college boy and I lied him about my name, age, everything... I'm not proud. I don't regret it either. I have an emphasis on mutable signs in birth chart. This kind of thing comes natural to me. I needed that at the time.

I liked that boy but I did not feel comfortable with sexuality. One very obvious reason is it would be a crime and I am not that evil. Secondly, only sexual thing I experienced to this point was harassment in a bus back when I was 12 and I guess it was traumatic. Thirdly, I felt obliged to do things because he was my boyfriend and it was stressful. I did not want him. I would go to his place but I would be relieved when my dad calls me and ruin the mood. Eventually I broke up with him.

After this, and maybe because of this, I seeked relationships that has phyisical challenges to get together. Like long distance relationships. This way, I wouldn't have to reject them. This is problematic, I know. Internally I don't think that I have the right to say no if I'm in a relationship so I would make the outer conditions won't allow it. I experienced strong emotions and loved these men (3 boyfriends in total, in high school and university) while I was with them but it did not feel right. I want to have sex like crazy but they did not feel right.

On one hand, I'm fantasizing and masturbating too often. I can go to a sex shop buy toys, no shame. All in vain though. I become too sensitive and can't finish it. On the other hand, I'm scared? repulsed? to have real sex. I'm avoiding it on purpose.

I lived alone for months on an exchange program for students and I thought about this situation for a long time. I did hang out in bars and played drinking games with strangers. I flirted with the security guard at the door that I will never see again and I had months-long relationships, I felt love. So I seriously was thinking, what is my problem? Why I don't want to have sex even though I really, really want it?

I'm twisted. I wish I was an experienced cool woman or a virtuous woman that cares about chastity so it would make sense. I'm twisted with oppressed feelings. After thinking about what I feel and what I want for a long time, I can say that I have a problem. I only want to have sex with someone I’d have children with. I'm waiting for someone that does not exist or may not exist. I want to look at a man and say ''What a beautiful man. This is what Father's image looks like in his creation. His bloodline needs to continue. I will do it for him.'' I'm in love with an idea. I fantasize about him and I don't want anyone else. I'm looking for him in everyone else. This imaginary man is honorable, chivalrous, and glorious.

I’m waiting for a knight in shining armor. I'm staying loyal to someone who may not exist. Nobody feels right. Maybe this is a thoughtform I created and bound myself unknowingly. Maybe a past life thing. I did munka for freeing before. I secretly hope he is real.

Where do I go from here? More cleaning sacral and base chakra? Yoga focusing on these chakras? I don't understand why I can't reach orgasm. Working to attract partner? My workings are for financial freedom, it is my priority. This issue is a sore spot in my life but freedom is more crucial.

To sum it up, I'm horny. Sorry for the language. I have super high sex drive but it is not directed at anyone. Nobody feels right, even the ones I was romantically involved in the past. I miss someone I have never met. A nameless, faceless, imaginary lover. Am I delirious? Am I delusional?I don't want a boyfriend. Not a husband. I want a blood oath. I dedicated 3 years ago and I didn't even hold hands with a man since then. I want it, I want affection in all possible ways but I'm repulsed by idea of doing it with any person I know. I will soon be considered a spinster by 17th century standards. Am I too old to be a virgin? Does it even matter? Is this my real personality or am I under programming of enemy religions as in waiting for marriage? I wish to have one lifelong partner, for lifetimes. What if he doesn't exist and I'm waiting for someone who does not exist?

No one is going to be perfect for you ever. It sounds like you have blockage related to the Mars in your chart or your cycle chakra that you may have to clear. Going up in a family that promotes sex to something shameful or suppresses your sexuality and femininity in general is going to do this as well. Take it from someone who has experience with this do not take blood oaths with anyone or anything whatsoever. The workings can backfire and the energy to put into reverse this can be lengthy and tiresome. Stay away from blood magic

 

[Shadowcat]

No one is going to be perfect for you ever. It sounds like you have blockage related to the Mars in your chart or your cycle chakra that you may have to clear. Going up in a family that promotes sex to something shameful or suppresses your sexuality and femininity in general is going to do this as well. Take it from someone who has experience with this do not take blood oaths with anyone or anything whatsoever. The workings can backfire and the energy to put into reverse this can be lengthy and tiresome. Stay away from blood magic

Sacral* pos speech to text

 

[krysalis88]

It is embarrassing but this is the situation. I can't orgasm. I have a very high sex drive and it is frustrating. Sorry for the rant, bear with me please.

I'm 23 and I never had sexual penetration with a man. I never had an orgasm, a proper one at least. Not because it would be difficult to find a man to have sex.

In high school, I was under pressure because of bigot family. You know the regular stuff, don't wear this and that, no makeup, no speaking with boys. It didn't work. I would change my clothes after I leave home. Things got to a point that I would change my clothes, name, and age. Paint my face with makeup. I would become a different person. My first boyfriend was a college boy and I lied him about my name, age, everything... I'm not proud. I don't regret it either. I have an emphasis on mutable signs in birth chart. This kind of thing comes natural to me. I needed that at the time.

I liked that boy but I did not feel comfortable with sexuality. One very obvious reason is it would be a crime and I am not that evil. Secondly, only sexual thing I experienced to this point was harassment in a bus back when I was 12 and I guess it was traumatic. Thirdly, I felt obliged to do things because he was my boyfriend and it was stressful. I did not want him. I would go to his place but I would be relieved when my dad calls me and ruin the mood. Eventually I broke up with him.

After this, and maybe because of this, I seeked relationships that has phyisical challenges to get together. Like long distance relationships. This way, I wouldn't have to reject them. This is problematic, I know. Internally I don't think that I have the right to say no if I'm in a relationship so I would make the outer conditions won't allow it. I experienced strong emotions and loved these men (3 boyfriends in total, in high school and university) while I was with them but it did not feel right. I want to have sex like crazy but they did not feel right.

On one hand, I'm fantasizing and masturbating too often. I can go to a sex shop buy toys, no shame. All in vain though. I become too sensitive and can't finish it. On the other hand, I'm scared? repulsed? to have real sex. I'm avoiding it on purpose.

I lived alone for months on an exchange program for students and I thought about this situation for a long time. I did hang out in bars and played drinking games with strangers. I flirted with the security guard at the door that I will never see again and I had months-long relationships, I felt love. So I seriously was thinking, what is my problem? Why I don't want to have sex even though I really, really want it?

I'm twisted. I wish I was an experienced cool woman or a virtuous woman that cares about chastity so it would make sense. I'm twisted with oppressed feelings. After thinking about what I feel and what I want for a long time, I can say that I have a problem. I only want to have sex with someone I’d have children with. I'm waiting for someone that does not exist or may not exist. I want to look at a man and say ''What a beautiful man. This is what Father's image looks like in his creation. His bloodline needs to continue. I will do it for him.'' I'm in love with an idea. I fantasize about him and I don't want anyone else. I'm looking for him in everyone else. This imaginary man is honorable, chivalrous, and glorious.

I’m waiting for a knight in shining armor. I'm staying loyal to someone who may not exist. Nobody feels right. Maybe this is a thoughtform I created and bound myself unknowingly. Maybe a past life thing. I did munka for freeing before. I secretly hope he is real.

Where do I go from here? More cleaning sacral and base chakra? Yoga focusing on these chakras? I don't understand why I can't reach orgasm. Working to attract partner? My workings are for financial freedom, it is my priority. This issue is a sore spot in my life but freedom is more crucial.

To sum it up, I'm horny. Sorry for the language. I have super high sex drive but it is not directed at anyone. Nobody feels right, even the ones I was romantically involved in the past. I miss someone I have never met. A nameless, faceless, imaginary lover. Am I delirious? Am I delusional?I don't want a boyfriend. Not a husband. I want a blood oath. I dedicated 3 years ago and I didn't even hold hands with a man since then. I want it, I want affection in all possible ways but I'm repulsed by idea of doing it with any person I know. I will soon be considered a spinster by 17th century standards. Am I too old to be a virgin? Does it even matter? Is this my real personality or am I under programming of enemy religions as in waiting for marriage? I wish to have one lifelong partner, for lifetimes. What if he doesn't exist and I'm waiting for someone who does not exist?

You should focus more on yourself. Orgasm is supposed to be felt and appreciated by ourselves, not by someone else. You're believing that you can't reach it without someone else. Sexual energy is not only used to merge with a partner, it can also be used to do anything else. The sacral chakra is also related to creativity and sorts. Perhaps the energy stuck in there could be released by other means? Keep doing more cleaning, protection and rituals for the gods. Check if there isn't any major trauma related to it, emotionally it isn't easy but try to take small steps. Also, try to be more gentle to yourself, the touches aren't supposed to be hard, suddenly and fast. And don't worry too much about it because when some women reach their twenties to thirties, they tend to think a lot about sex to procreate, dream of babies all of the sudden...the hormones don't help either.
They say that our fertile period gets stronger and worse to deal with than our teenage years. Sadly there are cases of many women that stay married for years, get sex but never reaches orgasm (because their husbands don't care and they didn't knew any better, not even themselves). Then, after a divorce, the women finally gets a chance. I'm also a virgin with bits of mutable energy. If you know a bit of astrology, see if there isn't a Neptune or Saturn transit messing around with your birth chart. I had some issues with delusional thoughts, thinking that I was sexually related to someone or something in the astral plane (that old story of a non-existant "incubi" that was a thoughtform, you all know, that famous sermon...). When I stopped to analyze my birth chart, guess what? If someone asks, nowadays, I don't care of these stuff since I'm fully focused on a undergraduate degree a couple of years (too many essays to deal with...) and the daily routine keeps me from daydreaming too much. Staying grounded also helps with certain thoughts. Don't worry with the pressure of having your first time the quickest way as possible, you don't need to compare yourself with other people. Lately in the social media many boys and girls are complaining of being virgins too old (even 13 year olds and younger are writing this), that they are gonna live the rest of their lives like this, that no one loves them, that they must be extremely ugly (sadly there are cases of bullying) to no one to choose them or that they are too anxious to ask someone out. Each one of us has a time for everything in our lives, it doesn't have to be like everyone else. So everytime you feel frustrated, remember that you are here learning and that you don't need to be upset because you couldn't reach a goal at a certain age. Last week, there were news in my country about a 91 year old women that entered college. She learned to read and write her own name at 85. She did a couple of studies afterwards to finally end high school (at a different pace, since she was already an adult) and earned a scholarship to a Nutrition course in a college (her dream coming true).

 

[Deadly Nightshade]

I would like to second what HPS Lydia said and add that if I were you, I would cast out the limiting belief that the perfect man (for you) doesn’t exist. We all have flaws, but I have true faith that when the man that is perfect for you appears, you will know to take initiative. It will feel like you mentioned wanting it to feel. Get out a piece of paper and write down all the non negotiable qualities you require in a partner. Get as detailed as possible. Then, this is the hardest thing- try to draw your partner. The main thing here is to get you visualizing, you don’t have to be an amazing artist. Once you feel right with what you’ve created, keep it in the back of your mind. You’ll never compromise your values if you know what you’re looking for. I did this by accident however, it’s helped a handful of my friends therefore it is repeatable. Your person won’t appear over night. You might be fooled once or twice but ultimately -the energy field of this person should directly match the energy field of the person you are looking to manifest into your life AND it should harmonize with your energy field. I believe in you OP

 

[AristocraticDragon666]

It is embarrassing but this is the situation. I can't orgasm. I have a very high sex drive and it is frustrating. Sorry for the rant, bear with me please.

I'm 23 and I never had sexual penetration with a man. I never had an orgasm, a proper one at least. Not because it would be difficult to find a man to have sex.

In high school, I was under pressure because of bigot family. You know the regular stuff, don't wear this and that, no makeup, no speaking with boys. It didn't work. I would change my clothes after I leave home. Things got to a point that I would change my clothes, name, and age. Paint my face with makeup. I would become a different person. My first boyfriend was a college boy and I lied him about my name, age, everything... I'm not proud. I don't regret it either. I have an emphasis on mutable signs in birth chart. This kind of thing comes natural to me. I needed that at the time.

I liked that boy but I did not feel comfortable with sexuality. One very obvious reason is it would be a crime and I am not that evil. Secondly, only sexual thing I experienced to this point was harassment in a bus back when I was 12 and I guess it was traumatic. Thirdly, I felt obliged to do things because he was my boyfriend and it was stressful. I did not want him. I would go to his place but I would be relieved when my dad calls me and ruin the mood. Eventually I broke up with him.

After this, and maybe because of this, I seeked relationships that has phyisical challenges to get together. Like long distance relationships. This way, I wouldn't have to reject them. This is problematic, I know. Internally I don't think that I have the right to say no if I'm in a relationship so I would make the outer conditions won't allow it. I experienced strong emotions and loved these men (3 boyfriends in total, in high school and university) while I was with them but it did not feel right. I want to have sex like crazy but they did not feel right.

On one hand, I'm fantasizing and masturbating too often. I can go to a sex shop buy toys, no shame. All in vain though. I become too sensitive and can't finish it. On the other hand, I'm scared? repulsed? to have real sex. I'm avoiding it on purpose.

I lived alone for months on an exchange program for students and I thought about this situation for a long time. I did hang out in bars and played drinking games with strangers. I flirted with the security guard at the door that I will never see again and I had months-long relationships, I felt love. So I seriously was thinking, what is my problem? Why I don't want to have sex even though I really, really want it?

I'm twisted. I wish I was an experienced cool woman or a virtuous woman that cares about chastity so it would make sense. I'm twisted with oppressed feelings. After thinking about what I feel and what I want for a long time, I can say that I have a problem. I only want to have sex with someone I’d have children with. I'm waiting for someone that does not exist or may not exist. I want to look at a man and say ''What a beautiful man. This is what Father's image looks like in his creation. His bloodline needs to continue. I will do it for him.'' I'm in love with an idea. I fantasize about him and I don't want anyone else. I'm looking for him in everyone else. This imaginary man is honorable, chivalrous, and glorious.

I’m waiting for a knight in shining armor. I'm staying loyal to someone who may not exist. Nobody feels right. Maybe this is a thoughtform I created and bound myself unknowingly. Maybe a past life thing. I did munka for freeing before. I secretly hope he is real.

Where do I go from here? More cleaning sacral and base chakra? Yoga focusing on these chakras? I don't understand why I can't reach orgasm. Working to attract partner? My workings are for financial freedom, it is my priority. This issue is a sore spot in my life but freedom is more crucial.

To sum it up, I'm horny. Sorry for the language. I have super high sex drive but it is not directed at anyone. Nobody feels right, even the ones I was romantically involved in the past. I miss someone I have never met. A nameless, faceless, imaginary lover. Am I delirious? Am I delusional?I don't want a boyfriend. Not a husband. I want a blood oath. I dedicated 3 years ago and I didn't even hold hands with a man since then. I want it, I want affection in all possible ways but I'm repulsed by idea of doing it with any person I know. I will soon be considered a spinster by 17th century standards. Am I too old to be a virgin? Does it even matter? Is this my real personality or am I under programming of enemy religions as in waiting for marriage? I wish to have one lifelong partner, for lifetimes. What if he doesn't exist and I'm waiting for someone who does not exist?

There are no perfect women and men, each person has their own advantages and disadvantages.

I recommend that you find a good guy who can wait as long as you need to have sex with him, and also when you decide to have sex with him, he can help you in this process, taking into account all your wishes.