jrvan said:
Blitzkreig [JG said:
" post_id=351397 time=1651807425 user_id=21286]
AgainstAllAuthority said:
Now that I think more about it, it seems to me that what motivated you to correct him is his writing style rather than the content. He does write a bit aggressively. Your subconscious may have picked up on it, seen it as a challenge to authority/hierarchy and pushed you to write that. However I see it just as a sign of trauma, which causes one to always be on the defensive, which is perfectly normal if one is being attacked constantly. I'm confident that, if given the time to heal, his writing style will change as well. The same content written a bit differently would of perhaps invited a different kind of response from you.
Jrvan did write a comment explaining a dream where he was being convicted in a kangaroo court for his opinions. If that happened in a past life, then that would explain his combativeness in regards to being allowed to speak freely, as well as hypersensitivity to criticism of his thoughts.
That has to do with my Mercury karma. I'm almost certain that it did indeed happen to me in a past life. Although it wasn't for my opinions from what I remember. It was usually being framed, or defending against absurd charges, or rebelling against absurd laws that shouldn't exist. I remember in one of them I was being charged with murder for viciously killing someone who raped my son after my son told me about it and thought it was okay. I remember the feeling of putting my hands on my son's shoulders, looking at him, and this hard to describe feeling welling up in my chest that was like a mixture of horror and sadness and other emotions, and I lost my voice so I was just looking at him and wanting to say like "No, that's wrong. It's not okay." I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Then I went and found the man who did that to my son, and I attacked him and tore him apart in a rage fueled frenzy. It was overkill. I had so much bloodlust.
I've started a Mercury Square with an affirmation to deal with the karma. The energy that was released on the first day seemed pretty bad. I'm going to keep cleaning each day after the square while observing the effects.
I suspect it might even be the energy behind what I write rather than the words themselves. It's just bizarre to me that so much of what I write gets so easily misunderstood by many even though I go through great efforts to write it as perfectly as I can, proofread it, edit and refine it, and try everything to avoid misunderstandings. It's been a perplexing puzzle for me to figure out why this keeps happening even though I put in all of this effort. For a while I was just concluding that people are stupid and lazy, but now I'm wondering and sort of hoping that it's an energy thing. If it's something I can solve on my end then it means I can control it, but if people are stupid then I can't control that. I'd prefer to believe that it's my karma rather than believe people are stupid. I always wanted to believe in the intelligence of people around me ever since I was an adolescent, and that often caused me to overestimate people which brought misfortune and wasted time on my part. I would look back years later and wonder what I was thinking when I chose to believe that such inferior people were actually smart.
Mercury rules communication so I'm thinking that solving the karma will also solve this pattern of misunderstandings aside from the other benefits. I'm hopeful.
Well... about criticism of my thoughts. I just don't like being undermined when I'm only trying to help in my own way. It gives me the message that my posts aren't wanted or welcome even though others are allowed to post, and when these people talk down to me with a voice of authority it really triggers my anger at absurdity and rebellion towards what I see as false rulership. If the High Priest told me not to write these posts like I do when I get some inspiration during my day that I think might be helpful to someone, well, I would do what he said. There are regulars on the forums whom I have maintained my respect and admiration for, and NakedPluto is one of them. Henu was another. In the case with Henu, and now in the case with NakedPluto, I saw elements of messages from people who harassed me previously. Henu mentioning Crowley was reminiscent of others misinterpreting my words and accusing me of promoting lawlessness (which became a meme). NakedPluto's message read like this to me: "Why are you wasting your time and breath with this bad post? It's also destructive, and a waste of time for others too. It's displeasing to the eyes and doesn't belong on the forums. I expect better from you. I want the forums to be saturated with only spiritual discussion." I didn't understand what he wanted from me. I didn't understand what the problem with my post was. I thought it might be helpful to newcomers in the future, or maybe even just anyone in general. I felt like he was placing expectations on me, and expecting me to be more and play some sort of more advanced role on the forums even though I don't want to and I'm not ready to, and I just want to do my own thing and help in my own way. I don't want him or others to expect me to evolve to play some role that I have no interest in especially when I have my own niche role. I hate expectations being pushed on me, and it's my instinct to rebel against them. If it's not about expectations then I don't understand why I'm the only one who gets high status members breathing down my neck on posts I make when they don't do that to others who make posts like this. What's so special about me for them to obsess over me? Why not the countless other threads that don't match NakedPluto's criteria? Is it because I have a reputation, and he's worried about people listening to me? I'd be more concerned over Jack's past content for example if that were the case, but there wasn't a reaction to his disinformation campaigns in the past and hardly in the present even though a dangerous amount of people listen to that moron... so again, why me? Those are the sorts of things that were in my mind, and that was my perspective when I first replied to NakedPluto.
Regarding pretentions, this is indeed true to me personally. During over 15 years, I have battled with the negative outcome of this and tried to transform it in a positive aspect for me, as there are transformative powers from Pluto influence, having pretentions and expectations from people who are on the highest oath ever, SS path is done involuntary.
If you want my assessment on this problem it is very simple. You have to connect to the Gods and advance in this path, this would assure at a point a conscientization of our dynamics here.
As a SS, you are fully welcomed, loved and supported. No one is without flaw, karma and dross. In this path you overcome these, and while you overcome, a lot of transformative and different kinds of pains or manifestations will appear.
Discovering the self, would imply also discovering your impact on others. This needs to be accounted for.
The issue stands because of the enemy and the lower mind. Someone may want to do good yet they will do damage, without their intention. Simply because there are also other influences in the world, interactions etc.
As a SS the above can be avoided, corrected. Targeting cleansing, protection and advancement. These things self regulate, and also during and after a glow of the mind and behaviour will ensure. Such as clarity, pattern of behaviour being now obvious, interactions being seen as they are and also knowing the factors at hand.
After this level of clarity, there's responsibility and you see that every thing we say and state, even if it is perceived under negative biases of the mind, they influence other people.
You are manifesting yourself, this is extremely good. It is very good to write what you think to expose yourself in a linear and thoughtful manner, your ideas etc. This is under the self discovering aspect and also it is a way of control and organizing your thoughts. In this way also inspiration may take place, direct help. In time this is fully fruitful.
However you have to understand also, that if you get extremely personally involved, you'll involve all of your being in an abstract process of writing and manifestation. This has traps too, such as these fights you have been involved in.
You have to help others, you also have to help yourself, this is necessary and natural. So anyone telling you otherwise in this primary action, they are wrong.
Going forward, as you understand yourself, as you reflect in yourself. You observe what these interactions have gathered within yourself. Hate, rage, blame etc. You have to understand that other people will get affected as well in a similar fashion. You have to break from this vicious loop and just breathe. This stimulates trauma from the inner world, and this gets projected unjustly outwards.
Relax and put forth your time to fruitful internal aims. Such as creating your being and shaping it to your liking. Having better communication, better choice of timing and influence etc.
The jews are extremely happy that you are on the edge. They want to see you abandon yourself and SS. It is not your fault neither other SS. It is their fault and you need to mature and grow yourself to a satisfied person, and destroy the enemy.
Let behind everything of this sort, as you can overcome this in positive ways and I assure you this is a very good way.
Regarding the original post, as I stated, your energy might yield much more help for other people in the future if you put it forth within yourself for now. When one is passive and reflects, it has two options. To reflect the external or the internal. I simply told you to do it internally, as the external can be understood simply afterwards.