Eternal Sun
New member
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2023
- Messages
- 38
I have been getting my body into shape and pushing my body hard for the past year. I have really made good progress so far but I have an issue that I wanted to make a topic about. I never post much and I wish I did and was loved more by people around me and especially you guys here. I have stressed myself out so much lately that my hair is falling out really bad and maybe its a combination of stress and extreme exercise that I put my body through. I need something but I'm not sure what. I feel isolated and alone all the time and I don't even talk to Satan or my GD anymore because It feels like just a waste of their time.
I'm living with a family member right now and after years of trying to do spiritual work on myself I still dont have any kind of income. I'm nearing 30 years old and I haven't done anything with my life and personal karma has prevented me from ever being happy. I feels like every second of my daily life is just me walking around and hating life itself. I think im having some kind of panic or mental breakdown.
I have all of the knowledge and spiritual practices that I have learned over the years and I want to help out other people here but life keeps getting in the way and I'm always too busy trying to make a name for myself in my personal life but shit just keeps getting worse for me. Sometimes I just want to get up and cause tragedy to other people around me because of this. I'm just done with the repeating bullshit. Everyday is the same shit for me, I get up do AoP that seems like it doesn't really help. Maybe it does and my problems are coming from the inside and not outside sources. I try to do my daily chakra workings but for some reason I just don't feel them and I cant focus on them like I used to years ago. I have gotten myself into much better physical shape but mentally I feel like im just getting worse everyday. I can't visualize myself in positive or happy situations or scenarios. It's hard for me to focus on one thing for long periods of time. My mind always is scrambled on random thoughts. I dont even know why I'm posting this. I guess im looking for some type of relief.
I just need some type of help from Satan at this point. I've done all I could do myself. There's a lot of healing that needs to be done. This issue with my hair falling out from the stress, no income, and no home or family of my own has got my mind wrecked. For the first time I really feel like I should just die and I'm not just crying around for attention or some type of shit like that. I feel hurt really bad and I can't pinpoint the source of it. I can only guess to the things that's causing me to feel this way.
I'm going to take a break from all of this for a while. Or probably try to do some kind of rune work on the stress issues.
I'm living with a family member right now and after years of trying to do spiritual work on myself I still dont have any kind of income. I'm nearing 30 years old and I haven't done anything with my life and personal karma has prevented me from ever being happy. I feels like every second of my daily life is just me walking around and hating life itself. I think im having some kind of panic or mental breakdown.
I have all of the knowledge and spiritual practices that I have learned over the years and I want to help out other people here but life keeps getting in the way and I'm always too busy trying to make a name for myself in my personal life but shit just keeps getting worse for me. Sometimes I just want to get up and cause tragedy to other people around me because of this. I'm just done with the repeating bullshit. Everyday is the same shit for me, I get up do AoP that seems like it doesn't really help. Maybe it does and my problems are coming from the inside and not outside sources. I try to do my daily chakra workings but for some reason I just don't feel them and I cant focus on them like I used to years ago. I have gotten myself into much better physical shape but mentally I feel like im just getting worse everyday. I can't visualize myself in positive or happy situations or scenarios. It's hard for me to focus on one thing for long periods of time. My mind always is scrambled on random thoughts. I dont even know why I'm posting this. I guess im looking for some type of relief.
I just need some type of help from Satan at this point. I've done all I could do myself. There's a lot of healing that needs to be done. This issue with my hair falling out from the stress, no income, and no home or family of my own has got my mind wrecked. For the first time I really feel like I should just die and I'm not just crying around for attention or some type of shit like that. I feel hurt really bad and I can't pinpoint the source of it. I can only guess to the things that's causing me to feel this way.
I'm going to take a break from all of this for a while. Or probably try to do some kind of rune work on the stress issues.