AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
For a bit of context, I had been addicted to porn for more than a decade, and I've quit it recently, a few months back. It feels good not being under that addiction anymore, and ever since dedicating myself and starting the 40 day program a couple weeks ago, I feel more energized. Nevertheless, because I used porn for masturbation as well, it's been months since I have done it. Recently, I tried masturbating once more, but it doesn't really matter what I try, nothing seems to give me an erection. I can imagine anything, I can even try to feel it, but to no avail. I even tried porn once more recently in my desperation, and not even that is having any effect, I find it depraved and surreal now. I don't have a girlfriend, so sex is out of the question, and visiting a brothel is not only against my values, I wouldn't even have money to afford anything anyway.
I have tried invoking Gomory last night using the formal ritual in the JoS, as it is stated one of her powers is to bestow love upon men, but since I am new, I didn't feel much coming through, or maybe my call didn't reach anyone at all. My idea was to ask her for help in finding a partner, but not a one night stand. Whether it worked or not doesn't impact me, as I considered the possibility of not getting an answer anyway.
In any case, I'm in a conundrum here, I don't feel particularly bad about not being able to masturbate on an emotional level, but at the same time it worries me, as I'm pretty young, and such problems should not be common. Not only that, but sometimes I do feel the urge to do it, yet after I start, I find myself sitting there disillusioned, in a similar state as that I reach during a Void Meditation.
I would like to ask anyone who has had similar experiences here as to what the cause of this may be and if there is anything I can do about it. I do RTRs daily and people have said they can be cathartic or bring out buried traumas and other issues due to removal of negative energies, but I don't feel any different compared to before I started.
Any answer is appreciated, and I apologize for the long wall of text, but I wanted to give as much context as I could.
I have tried invoking Gomory last night using the formal ritual in the JoS, as it is stated one of her powers is to bestow love upon men, but since I am new, I didn't feel much coming through, or maybe my call didn't reach anyone at all. My idea was to ask her for help in finding a partner, but not a one night stand. Whether it worked or not doesn't impact me, as I considered the possibility of not getting an answer anyway.
In any case, I'm in a conundrum here, I don't feel particularly bad about not being able to masturbate on an emotional level, but at the same time it worries me, as I'm pretty young, and such problems should not be common. Not only that, but sometimes I do feel the urge to do it, yet after I start, I find myself sitting there disillusioned, in a similar state as that I reach during a Void Meditation.
I would like to ask anyone who has had similar experiences here as to what the cause of this may be and if there is anything I can do about it. I do RTRs daily and people have said they can be cathartic or bring out buried traumas and other issues due to removal of negative energies, but I don't feel any different compared to before I started.
Any answer is appreciated, and I apologize for the long wall of text, but I wanted to give as much context as I could.
