Lightning_Puma
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2022
- Messages
- 1,138
Hello brothers and sisters in Father Satan,
I am in need of some help. I was hesitant to ask it here due to the thought of receiving some criticism or such, but I'll push through this.
This year hasn't been very kind to me. From operation to rehabilitation and more waiting until the next operation can be arranged, plus not having the ability to work until it is done, it's left me in a bit of a strained mental state that has both made me depressed and allowed some past trauma to surface.
I know what some of you will say: "Just do some fire breathing and you'll be fine" (it won't help with dealing with the actual problem) or "just do some yoga and you'll be fine" (same as above, but also I can't do certain poses due to my hands, hence the mention of operation).
This Saturday Moon will enter in Scorpio after the void of course Moon and since the Moon is still wanning I was thinking a freeing of the soul working to free myself from trauma would do me good as it's gotten to the point that I end up reliving it and feeling it happening again and having panic attacks is all too much...
Like for instance, yesterday I was feeling such hatred and anger for my father before my emotions took a turn and I started feeling like I should cry to literally seeing flashes of how my father beat me as a child to the point where I had difficulty standing, sitting and walking.. I could literally feel the pain.. and just memories of how he threatened to take me to the orphanage or drive and leave me in the forest or how he would hang my late dog if it didn't stop barking.. It was too much for me that I just felt like my life was in danger, from the flashes, to the phantom pain (or whatever you call it) to the inability to move from where I was laying..
Void meditation didn't come to mind as I was in a panic and scared.
This isn't the first time this happened, last time it was at what my "brother" did (he's biologically related to me, sibling, but he's dead to me) to me when I was a child. To put it bluntly he both molested me and tried to R me, so yeah.. that put a really bad thing on my psyche. Took me years before I could stand by other men and not have a panic attack.
I know to use Munka would be best, but I'm stumped at what affirmation to use..
P.S. I'm not seeking sympathy, I just need to vent..I have nobody else, except my boyfriend who knows already and the Gods. I just need some help.. Please and thank you..
P.S. I hope this wasn't too much for anyone to read.
I am in need of some help. I was hesitant to ask it here due to the thought of receiving some criticism or such, but I'll push through this.
This year hasn't been very kind to me. From operation to rehabilitation and more waiting until the next operation can be arranged, plus not having the ability to work until it is done, it's left me in a bit of a strained mental state that has both made me depressed and allowed some past trauma to surface.
I know what some of you will say: "Just do some fire breathing and you'll be fine" (it won't help with dealing with the actual problem) or "just do some yoga and you'll be fine" (same as above, but also I can't do certain poses due to my hands, hence the mention of operation).
This Saturday Moon will enter in Scorpio after the void of course Moon and since the Moon is still wanning I was thinking a freeing of the soul working to free myself from trauma would do me good as it's gotten to the point that I end up reliving it and feeling it happening again and having panic attacks is all too much...
Like for instance, yesterday I was feeling such hatred and anger for my father before my emotions took a turn and I started feeling like I should cry to literally seeing flashes of how my father beat me as a child to the point where I had difficulty standing, sitting and walking.. I could literally feel the pain.. and just memories of how he threatened to take me to the orphanage or drive and leave me in the forest or how he would hang my late dog if it didn't stop barking.. It was too much for me that I just felt like my life was in danger, from the flashes, to the phantom pain (or whatever you call it) to the inability to move from where I was laying..
Void meditation didn't come to mind as I was in a panic and scared.
This isn't the first time this happened, last time it was at what my "brother" did (he's biologically related to me, sibling, but he's dead to me) to me when I was a child. To put it bluntly he both molested me and tried to R me, so yeah.. that put a really bad thing on my psyche. Took me years before I could stand by other men and not have a panic attack.
I know to use Munka would be best, but I'm stumped at what affirmation to use..
P.S. I'm not seeking sympathy, I just need to vent..I have nobody else, except my boyfriend who knows already and the Gods. I just need some help.. Please and thank you..
P.S. I hope this wasn't too much for anyone to read.