Losing momentum

[MercuryWisdom]

Hey brothers and sisters.
So due to high stress in my job and home life, being busy, exhausted, etc. I have been losing momentum in my meditations for a longer time than it should be.

Right now since I lost so much momentum I don't have the ability (mentally) to do the bare minimum even if I have time.

I think Yoga is easier to do beause I just do it in autopilot. Right now meditations needs too much attention and focus that it feels impossible to find motivation to do it daily. Especially when I'm exhausted.

This is not the first time this happened to me. It happened before due to stressful studies, etc.

I don't think this can be very sustainable or reliable that once I become busy, stressed, exhausted or sick that I forsake my meditations. I don't know what else to do though.

Meditation is very weird because it's not physical and doesn't require physical effort. It can become increasingly difficult to do spiritual effort when I am in a survivalist physical state.

I don't know what to do. All I keep doing is procrastinating and ignoring my required meditations that I haven't properly meditated in a very long time.

The problem as well is that meditation needs to be strictly done daily. So I'm kinda stuck with awful momentum.

How to deal with this? It happened many times before it wasn't pretty.

Right now I can only do yoga and deep breathing. Even cleaning and AOP only seems too much visualization in my current state.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

How to deal with this? It happened many times before it wasn't pretty.

Right now I can only do yoga and deep breathing. Even cleaning and AOP only seems too much visualization in my current state.

Yoga and pranayama will be your friend, as you mention, especially as these will recharge the physical energy to aid you, especially the yang-oriented ones. I would also suggest doing anything with a high mental workload right when you wake up and are most recuperated.

As you are short on time, you can mix in vibrations with your yoga. For example, you can chant runes in reps of 10 for the AOP, stopping to briefly affirm this during or at the end of the yoga.

Cleaning the chakras does take more visualization power, so this should be done when you are in the best state to handle it. Otherwise, just focus on at least cleaning your aura, which is not as hard. Similarly, you can avoid the chakras and just direct the cleaning energy onto your whole soul, and this is better than nothing.

It should go without saying that your situation needs to change and you should do your best to find more time, however, if you are able to focus on cleaning, yoga, and protection, then you should be in a decent spot, spiritually, while these difficult times pass. In general, this is why improving our free time and productivity is very important as SS.

Your visualizations definitely do not need to be perfect, and you can rely on willpower alone. Try to use a method of sensing the transformation that is easy for you to perform mentally, as this does not have to be perfect. Like, if visualization of the chakra while cleaning it is too hard, then just visualize the dirt coming off, using intent to know which chakra it came from.

 

[Aquarius]

when I am in a survivalist physical state.

Reading this made think about this video I watched and helped
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtimAuhyP-M&t=71s

 

[AFODO]

I'm trying to gather the bare minimum here.

You can vibrate mantras faster, and without much effort. You don't need to maintain deep trance and no need for strong visualization.

The only thing you necessary need visualization is to clean off the dirt from your soul. But for example, You can vibrate 10x Vi Suddhi into the light body (including the chakras) and state your affirmation (for example: this energy has completely cleaned my chakras and my light body in the most positive way for me), than you do this with your aura. You only need to visualize when you state your affirmation, and when you vibrate you don't need to. After you done this, you can simply run through your soul a white gold energy that cleans of everything, and than stack what have been come off, and affirm that it returns to the senders, and throw it away.
If you vibrate a bit faster you can do all this in 20 minutes.

For empowerment, you should do this during yoga, in fact hatha yoga is already empowering your chakras, but besides that, you can vibrate the chakra's mantra when doing their asanas, and affirm that it has empowered your ... chakra.

After you are done with yoga, in that state you can do the AoP Which can be for example 20x/40x Algiz , and that's all.

 

[WiseDragon]

You just convinced yourself that you are too exhausted to do it, because this excuse sounds better to you, but the truth is most likely that you are too lazy to do it. Especially when you say you are too tired to do 5 minutes of cleaning or protection, I have an extremely hard time believing this is possible even if you worked, let's say, 12 hours.

The fact that it feels very difficult and challenging, doesn't mean you don't have the energy to do it in you. If you push yourself more and more you will notice this fact. Plenty of times I felt literally zero energy, and I mean zero, to do something spiritual or physical, but I still did it regardless, and actually felt much better once I got it done.

One example I can give you is how in the beginning meditating 30 minutes a day was a big deal to me, and seemed challenging. Then I pushed it to 1 hour and then to more than 3 hours, almost 4. Now 30 minutes feel like nothing in terms of effort, we create our own limitations for the most part. Expect to have the energy to do it and you will have it, expect to be too tired and you will be tired.

One thing that I want to add is that doing these activities in Satanism is not for "moral reasons" like for other "religions". The results Meditation will give you are consequential to how much time you spent and how well you meditated. One should not be complacent and think, OK I did the bare minimum, now the Gods will not be disappointed. This can be harsh, but if you really want results you have to put serious effort into it. This is important for spiritual warfare as well. One cannot simply meditate 5 minutes a day, and expect to make a difference. Let's be real. Then people say "yes, but at least I did the rituals", but how much did you really contribute with 5 minutes of Meditation a day? Do you want to go to war with a sharp blade or a butter knife?

Lastly Meditation will give you energy and will make you feel much better all around, so by not doing it you're only making your situation worse. Just try to push through all the difficulties at least one time, I'm pretty sure nothing crazy will happen to you. You will realize that you can do it even if you're tired, and that you were limiting yourself.

I know I was a little bit harsh here but don't take it personal and try to push yourself more, this goes for many other people as well.

 

[Henu the Great]

The rune Nauthiz is a safe option to invoke Saturnian energy to increase your endurance, willpower, and discipline. Invoking elemental earth is another option to this same end.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

You just convinced yourself that you are too exhausted to do it, because this excuse sounds better to you, but the truth is most likely that you are too lazy to do it. Especially when you say you are too tired to do 5 minutes of cleaning or protection, I have an extremely hard time believing this is possible even if you worked, let's say, 12 hours.

The fact that it feels very difficult and challenging, doesn't mean you don't have the energy to do it in you. If you push yourself more and more you will notice this fact. Plenty of times I felt literally zero energy, and I mean zero, to do something spiritual or physical, but I still did it regardless, and actually felt much better once I got it done.

If we have the fire or earth within us, this promotes for activity and discipline, respectively. Likewise, if we mentally push ourselves, this also grows and trains these abilities, as well.

So your message is one of motivation and encouragement, but I wouldn't necessarily say he is just making it up. As a person becomes tired, they have less energy and regulatory ability. Some people have higher baselines for discipline than others, but that doesn't mean that fatigue has no measurable impact, such that he is simply making this up.

Like in the gym, some people have the ability to do more or less exercise reps, but once fatigue sets in, it is not that a person is inherently lazy, but due to the reality of the situation. It is conditional laziness, which applies against the person's baseline productive abilities.

The rune Nauthiz is a safe option to invoke Saturnian energy to increase your endurance, willpower, and discipline. Invoking elemental earth is another option to this same end.

Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like he has the time for a full working. However, he can raise a lesser amount for an immediate boost to discipline, and this could work.

 

[Henu the Great]

" post_id=459562 time=1692732612 user_id=21286]
Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like he has the time for a full working. However, he can raise a lesser amount for an immediate boost to discipline, and this could work.

He does not have five to fifteen minutes per day to overcome this reoccurring problem once and for all. Sure... Makes perfect sense.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

He does not have five to fifteen minutes per day to overcome this reoccurring problem once and for all. Sure... Makes perfect sense.

I'm not saying he can't or shouldn't try, but just that it is easier said than done.

 

[LegionIshtar888]

try to meditate for a count of 20-30 breaths every day.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

" post_id=459562 time=1692732612 user_id=21286]
Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like he has the time for a full working. However, he can raise a lesser amount for an immediate boost to discipline, and this could work.

He does not have five to fifteen minutes per day to overcome this reoccurring problem once and for all. Sure... Makes perfect sense.

Guys, it is not about time. Or having the physical ability to do it.

I do have time. I do have energy I can move I am not dead.

I am talking about mental fatigue. Having trouble visualizing, etc.

Also, with workings I don't give a fuck how much it takes. That's not a problem. The problem is it has to be strictly done daily for at least 40 days or any specific timeline. I can not guarantee that to myself. That's the problem.

Same thing to WiseDragon. It's not about not being able to or not having the time. I had much worse times where I would never be able to meditate due to sadness, business, mental distress and I still did. That's not what I am asking about.

 

[WiseDragon]

" post_id=459562 time=1692732612 user_id=21286]
If we have the fire or earth within us, this promotes for activity and discipline, respectively. Likewise, if we mentally push ourselves, this also grows and trains these abilities, as well.

So your message is one of motivation and encouragement, but I wouldn't necessarily say he is just making it up. As a person becomes tired, they have less energy and regulatory ability. Some people have higher baselines for discipline than others, but that doesn't mean that fatigue has no measurable impact, such that he is simply making this up.

Like in the gym, some people have the ability to do more or less exercise reps, but once fatigue sets in, it is not that a person is inherently lazy, but due to the reality of the situation. It is conditional laziness, which applies against the person's baseline productive abilities.

I get what you're saying but I'm still convinced that we overestimate how tired we are all the time. It's painful and extremely uncomfortable to push through but it can be done if one really wants to.

Even in the gym example that you brought up, two people can feel literally the same amount of fatigue and one decides to quit because he wants nothing to do with that pain, but the other one is willing to go through much more pain and gets 5 more reps done. It's about toughness, that's it. I get that there are other factors as well like you mentioned, but it's a choice. If you really want to push regardless of the pain and the discomfort, you will find a way regardless of the circumstances. At least this is how I live my life.

 

[Karnonnos [JG]]

I personally think some of your issues result from the relationship and sex malaise as well as the discontent you have with the society surrounding you that you described in other posts. If you're a Venusian person it can be very hard to gain enthusiasm for things when your social and sexual needs with others are not satiated and you feel trapped by your surroundings.

Another thing is if you're exhausted raising energies can be really important, not just for batting off downswings of energy but for combating stifling transits and preventing others from interfering.

 

[serpentwalker666]

Hey brothers and sisters.
So due to high stress in my job and home life, being busy, exhausted, etc. I have been losing momentum in my meditations for a longer time than it should be.

Right now since I lost so much momentum I don't have the ability (mentally) to do the bare minimum even if I have time.

I think Yoga is easier to do beause I just do it in autopilot. Right now meditations needs too much attention and focus that it feels impossible to find motivation to do it daily. Especially when I'm exhausted.

This is not the first time this happened to me. It happened before due to stressful studies, etc.

I don't think this can be very sustainable or reliable that once I become busy, stressed, exhausted or sick that I forsake my meditations. I don't know what else to do though.

Meditation is very weird because it's not physical and doesn't require physical effort. It can become increasingly difficult to do spiritual effort when I am in a survivalist physical state.

I don't know what to do. All I keep doing is procrastinating and ignoring my required meditations that I haven't properly meditated in a very long time.

The problem as well is that meditation needs to be strictly done daily. So I'm kinda stuck with awful momentum.

How to deal with this? It happened many times before it wasn't pretty.

Right now I can only do yoga and deep breathing. Even cleaning and AOP only seems too much visualization in my current state.

No matter the situation you need to continue to find ways to keep up with your practices or this slipping will continue and likely become much worse.

I know and speak from experience here. I have chornic fatigue, and am currently working in electronics manufacturing full time. You will have days you are completely wiped out. But the practices and everything can be condensed and still done if the willpower is there.

You don't need to push too hard but you can find a way. Ask the Gods, ask your guardian demon to guide you.

Also realise as well, that things like this are transitional. You likely will find a job best suited to your needs in the future.

As you keep up with your practices and gain a bit more momentum after you surpass this ( which I know you will as you are awesome.! ) you'll be able to do a working for finding a job that is more suited to your needs and won't leave you as exhausted.

This makes a difference. By all means, don't quit but do what you need to do to get by until better opportunity arises.

You got this my friend. Do not give up. It is very hard I know personally.

This is the first time in my whole life I'm working full time. And it's a very demanding job. This is sometimes how life goes.

You will come out of this stronger then ever.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

" post_id=459504 time=1692701809 user_id=21286]

How to deal with this? It happened many times before it wasn't pretty.

Right now I can only do yoga and deep breathing. Even cleaning and AOP only seems too much visualization in my current state.

Yoga and pranayama will be your friend, as you mention, especially as these will recharge the physical energy to aid you, especially the yang-oriented ones. I would also suggest doing anything with a high mental workload right when you wake up and are most recuperated.

As you are short on time, you can mix in vibrations with your yoga. For example, you can chant runes in reps of 10 for the AOP, stopping to briefly affirm this during or at the end of the yoga.

Cleaning the chakras does take more visualization power, so this should be done when you are in the best state to handle it. Otherwise, just focus on at least cleaning your aura, which is not as hard. Similarly, you can avoid the chakras and just direct the cleaning energy onto your whole soul, and this is better than nothing.

It should go without saying that your situation needs to change and you should do your best to find more time, however, if you are able to focus on cleaning, yoga, and protection, then you should be in a decent spot, spiritually, while these difficult times pass. In general, this is why improving our free time and productivity is very important as SS.

Your visualizations definitely do not need to be perfect, and you can rely on willpower alone. Try to use a method of sensing the transformation that is easy for you to perform mentally, as this does not have to be perfect. Like, if visualization of the chakra while cleaning it is too hard, then just visualize the dirt coming off, using intent to know which chakra it came from.

Perfect advise brother thanks alot.

I did notice with the cleaning it's too hard because of the chakras. I usually don't have issues with protection as well as the vibrations but doing them during yoga is even better thanks alot for this tip will help alot.

Also the breathing with yoga and aura cleaning methods will help alot to mantain my bioelectricity and I can feel I can stick with them consistenly.

You understood my question perfectly thanks for that!!

 

[MercuryWisdom]

Hey brothers and sisters.
So due to high stress in my job and home life, being busy, exhausted, etc. I have been losing momentum in my meditations for a longer time than it should be.

Right now since I lost so much momentum I don't have the ability (mentally) to do the bare minimum even if I have time.

I think Yoga is easier to do beause I just do it in autopilot. Right now meditations needs too much attention and focus that it feels impossible to find motivation to do it daily. Especially when I'm exhausted.

This is not the first time this happened to me. It happened before due to stressful studies, etc.

I don't think this can be very sustainable or reliable that once I become busy, stressed, exhausted or sick that I forsake my meditations. I don't know what else to do though.

Meditation is very weird because it's not physical and doesn't require physical effort. It can become increasingly difficult to do spiritual effort when I am in a survivalist physical state.

I don't know what to do. All I keep doing is procrastinating and ignoring my required meditations that I haven't properly meditated in a very long time.

The problem as well is that meditation needs to be strictly done daily. So I'm kinda stuck with awful momentum.

How to deal with this? It happened many times before it wasn't pretty.

Right now I can only do yoga and deep breathing. Even cleaning and AOP only seems too much visualization in my current state.

No matter the situation you need to continue to find ways to keep up with your practices or this slipping will continue and likely become much worse.

I know and speak from experience here. I have chornic fatigue, and am currently working in electronics manufacturing full time. You will have days you are completely wiped out. But the practices and everything can be condensed and still done if the willpower is there.

You don't need to push too hard but you can find a way. Ask the Gods, ask your guardian demon to guide you.

Also realise as well, that things like this are transitional. You likely will find a job best suited to your needs in the future.

As you keep up with your practices and gain a bit more momentum after you surpass this ( which I know you will as you are awesome.! ) you'll be able to do a working for finding a job that is more suited to your needs and won't leave you as exhausted.

This makes a difference. By all means, don't quit but do what you need to do to get by until better opportunity arises.

You got this my friend. Do not give up. It is very hard I know personally.

This is the first time in my whole life I'm working full time. And it's a very demanding job. This is sometimes how life goes.

You will come out of this stronger then ever.

Exactly! And thank you my brother. I will try and push my best. Also proud of you! Keep going. A hard labor a fruitful harvest.

 

[Lunar Dance 666]

...

Thank you for making this post. This has been my problem too for years except in the meantime I also ended up with adrenal fatigue because of the overload of stress in combination with unable to sleep more than 5 hours a night due to work for a while and on my days off I woke up at 7 because they started banging with stuff because they were building an entire new housecomplex right across the street.
Also on weekends.

Mental focus has been an issue for me for a while due to stressful circumstances in many ways, before it was just sheer mental pressure of a lot of things.
And later the physical pressure also added.

Which did lead me to almost stop meditating completely. And I didnt even have enough energy for a working for a while. Because it was draining my life force instead.

It is just very unfortunate that some people do not understand this.
Look, I am also the type of person that would force myself to get up and move despite everything but if you are THAT tired everything goes much slower also and you do not feel free to be able to do anything that you want during a day. Which meant that productivity also plummeted.

I quit doing crafts because I was too tired (exhausted) to do them. I struggled with getting out of bad habits because I was too exhausted to say no.

Heck I was so exhausted last year that I could only do stuff for 2 hours a day, inside my own home and I had to go on sick leave which they didnt even want to pay me for which was also a real struggle / hassle to cope with.

Things are a little better now, most of the mental stress that I was still experiencing at the time Ive solved now but I def noticed that I still experienced too much stress because my periods would take longer to come.

I need to take time to heal to feel better and to also heal from all the mental mess that kept popping up last year because I had just moved out from a place that was more toxic than that I had initially thought and still was somewhat able to cope with because the worst element was gone but over time things stacked up and other issues arose.. which lead me to deciding and actually looking to move out and live on my own.

So yes my energy levels plummeted, I really was not feeling well in every way, and people still critize me?
To those I say: Piss off.

 

[NinRick]

Hey brothers and sisters.
So due to high stress in my job and home life, being busy, exhausted, etc. I have been losing momentum in my meditations for a longer time than it should be.

Right now since I lost so much momentum I don't have the ability (mentally) to do the bare minimum even if I have time.

I think Yoga is easier to do beause I just do it in autopilot. Right now meditations needs too much attention and focus that it feels impossible to find motivation to do it daily. Especially when I'm exhausted.

This is not the first time this happened to me. It happened before due to stressful studies, etc.

I don't think this can be very sustainable or reliable that once I become busy, stressed, exhausted or sick that I forsake my meditations. I don't know what else to do though.

Meditation is very weird because it's not physical and doesn't require physical effort. It can become increasingly difficult to do spiritual effort when I am in a survivalist physical state.

I don't know what to do. All I keep doing is procrastinating and ignoring my required meditations that I haven't properly meditated in a very long time.

The problem as well is that meditation needs to be strictly done daily. So I'm kinda stuck with awful momentum.

How to deal with this? It happened many times before it wasn't pretty.

Right now I can only do yoga and deep breathing. Even cleaning and AOP only seems too much visualization in my current state.

No matter the situation you need to continue to find ways to keep up with your practices or this slipping will continue and likely become much worse.

I know and speak from experience here. I have chornic fatigue, and am currently working in electronics manufacturing full time. You will have days you are completely wiped out. But the practices and everything can be condensed and still done if the willpower is there.

You don't need to push too hard but you can find a way. Ask the Gods, ask your guardian demon to guide you.

Also realise as well, that things like this are transitional. You likely will find a job best suited to your needs in the future.

As you keep up with your practices and gain a bit more momentum after you surpass this ( which I know you will as you are awesome.! ) you'll be able to do a working for finding a job that is more suited to your needs and won't leave you as exhausted.

This makes a difference. By all means, don't quit but do what you need to do to get by until better opportunity arises.

You got this my friend. Do not give up. It is very hard I know personally.

This is the first time in my whole life I'm working full time. And it's a very demanding job. This is sometimes how life goes.

You will come out of this stronger then ever.

Exactly! And thank you my brother. I will try and push my best. Also proud of you! Keep going. A hard labor a fruitful harvest.

What I do when I am getting back into meditations, is to start slowly.

Do Hatha yoga the first day, have you done it? good!
Second day, Do Hatha Yoga and meditate on one chakra, the 3rd eye for example. Have you done it again excellent!
and then you just keep continuing to meditate more and more from there.
This gets your mind gets used to meditate slowly. Instead of forcing yourself to meditate for 2 hours again abruptly. Chances are your mind will feel overwhelmed and you postpone it another day.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

I am talking about mental fatigue. Having trouble visualizing, etc.

Also, with workings I don't give a fuck how much it takes. That's not a problem. The problem is it has to be strictly done daily for at least 40 days or any specific timeline. I can not guarantee that to myself. That's the problem.

Physically, mental fatigue can be aggravated by pathogens in the head. Use GB20 or GV20 (two separate points), both of which aid the energy flow to the brain.

Also, knowing how our chart works, we may be productive in one aspect of life, but lazier in another. My suggestion is to raise energy specifically for SATANIC productivity.

As for a working, you should start something, regardless of whether you cannot hold it for 40 days, as it will still make some progress, which can compound. For example, do a Mars Square, as its in the last degrees of Virgo. This is relatively easy to complete. Or, as the moon enters Capricorn on this Saturday, do 40x or 60x Nauthiz.

Since you mention being burdened by obligations, you could use Ansuz or Dagaz on the Aquarius moon to expand the amount of free time you have. This is another option.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

I totally understand sister. I am too. It's not that I am specifically lazy or immature. But sometimes you can have burnouts where you just feel like you're living to work. You have no energy for anything anymore.

Someone who never worked a fulltime job can never understand this. It's not about the amount of hours you have in the day or anything.

I do think it can be managed though and just giving up completely isn't an option we can take. Even if we did it will just give us much lower energies and other problems that comes up due to this. So efficiency is best here. To take it easy but also do something that helps.

I can see you're going through a bad bout of burnout. Take some time to heal when you can and figure something that works better for you. Satan and the Gods are there for us. Talk to them too.

Good luck my sister.
Hail Satan!

 

[Shadowcat]

I totally understand sister. I am too. It's not that I am specifically lazy or immature. But sometimes you can have burnouts where you just feel like you're living to work. You have no energy for anything anymore.

Someone who never worked a fulltime job can never understand this. It's not about the amount of hours you have in the day or anything.

I do think it can be managed though and just giving up completely isn't an option we can take. Even if we did it will just give us much lower energies and other problems that comes up due to this. So efficiency is best here. To take it easy but also do something that helps.

I can see you're going through a bad bout of burnout. Take some time to heal when you can and figure something that works better for you. Satan and the Gods are there for us. Talk to them too.

Good luck my sister.
Hail Satan!

It sucks but to actually get somewhere you have to properly manage time. A big issue for people is procrastination. I'm definately not perfect when it comes to burnout from work myself and as a result have even had to do workings in the car and on breaks at work. It sucks especially on 12 hour days. I find 40 hours comfortable over all for managing everything.

 

[Lunar Dance 666]

I totally understand sister. I am too. It's not that I am specifically lazy or immature. But sometimes you can have burnouts where you just feel like you're living to work. You have no energy for anything anymore.

Someone who never worked a fulltime job can never understand this. It's not about the amount of hours you have in the day or anything.

I do think it can be managed though and just giving up completely isn't an option we can take. Even if we did it will just give us much lower energies and other problems that comes up due to this. So efficiency is best here. To take it easy but also do something that helps.

I can see you're going through a bad bout of burnout. Take some time to heal when you can and figure something that works better for you. Satan and the Gods are there for us. Talk to them too.

Good luck my sister.
Hail Satan!

Thank you for your kind words

Thats very true.

To be fair I haven't worked a full-time job yet, but I've spend entire days studying, from the moment I woke up till I went to bed, and in the meantime being bullied and dealing with that as well, this was when I was in secundary ed, and I lost a lot of sleep also (due to the stress from the emotional consequences and the lack of time which I had to study to be able to get through the test, so I stayed up till I was so tired I couldn't take anything in by which time I was nearly sleeping.. which more often than not was midnight - 2AM (and my alarm went off at 6.30AM) multiple days a week.. which also lead me to feeling totally exhausted in every way - so no this is not the first time).

And a lot of time outside of work having necessary appointments, doing household chores (also after my mom passed away after years of being terminally ill when I still lived at home), cleaning up, studying, etc, also on weekends or days off.
Basicly going almost non-stop. For a very long time.

Before I left home things got even more strained with my father. Usually at least I kind of got along with him and we understood each other but I just can't stand being there anymore.
That house was and still is a big mess. Whenever we (his mom and me) tried to throw something out he'd also make a complaint, that it had cost money, get all emotional and yell. We had to leave it there in the house.
I don't live there now, its just not my problem anymore.
It feels like I had been walking on eggshells for years.

...
Mhm. I am thinking of things that I can do right now that don't take up a lot of energy or that don't pile up the amount of stress. Nor do take a lot of mental strain because, when I am tired, and I need to do something I can just sit there staring at whatever is in front of me into oblivion for 20 minutes or longer before I force myself to get up and do it. Not a great way to spend your time at all, especially if it is close to bedtime.

...
I also need to look if I don't have some kind of weird transit going on, and to check my lunar return.
Last friday I woke up feeling all yucky, which mostly happens if something is wrong with people that I know.
And then I heard later on that day, (and another thing has happened in the meantime), and another similar mention also earlier today, that people they knew died. So its been very emotionally charged this past week..
I'll go do returning curses later and probably another round of cleaning. Guess thats the best I can do right now.

I just really needed to get this off my chest.

 

[AFODO]

I just really needed to get this off my chest.

Hard times come and go. I'm sure you will be able to create a comfortable life. Wish you the bests, may Satan help you on your way.

 

[Lunar Dance 666]

I just really needed to get this off my chest.

Hard times come and go. I'm sure you will be able to create a comfortable life. Wish you the bests, may Satan help you on your way.

Thank you

 

[Aquarius]

I just really needed to get this off my chest.

Hard times come and go. I'm sure you will be able to create a comfortable life. Wish you the bests, may Satan help you on your way.

Thank you

You are a strong person, you can achieve anything you want, I and other SS believe in you.