I think finding a good therapist is the best first option as well obviously because they understand psychology and the brain and this is a situation that requires the unravelling and analyzing of many deep-rooted thoughts and patterns of behaviour.
If you do see one remember to 1.) Don't mention JoS stuff, 2.) Be open and honest (there is nothing they haven't heard before), and 3.) be firm in what you want to change for yourself. Focusing on the problems will help dig up their roots.
If they mention psychiatry tell them "My religion doesn't allow me to take anything not from nature (like the Amish). If they ask you your religion tell them it's something personal that you don't share with anyone. It is your legal right to speak or not speak on certain things.
Beyond that it does sound like you're highly sensitive and you've made good progress. Things get harder but we must keep becoming stronger.
On the point of meditation make sure you focus on "feeling" or "becoming" better while giving ZERO focus to ANY negative thoughts or feelings. Void meditation, Satan's bliss meditation, regular cleaning, RTRs and protection all have helped me here. It's like riding a bicycle though. Once you get the momentum, gain speed and run into bumps along the way remember you must push through or you will lose that momentum and have to start again, which is always harder than pushing through because if you do this you can get to a point of speed again, almost like a runners high. (I hope that makes sense).
We live always in the present, the here and now. Worrying about those seconds, minutes and days that pass you by will eat away at your emotions and thus aura. Focus on the now and take advantage of it because the fact is that you are loved by so many in ways you might not even know.
I know how hard this is because I had to fight this very same thing myself. I had to look hard at myself and remember the words Satan has promised all of us: that we ALL can become Gods. No matter what you look like, what your past is like or whatever, where there's a will there's a way. We can physically change ourselves into youthful, powerful and immortal beings with knowledge of endless things (gnosis).
I had to tell myself to stop associating with cannabis altogether because I couldn't do it once. It'd make up excuses (research, 2-D world) and get hooked on smoking pot thinking it's helping me learn whilst it was distracting me from myself, the source of my pain.
When we get into situations like this it's hard to see things from the outside-in and we trap ourselves in our own bubble where "this has to be exactly this way. If not, I get depressed". Combined with the struggle of money this is something that had pushed me to despair at times, and having past experience self-harm it's that much more easy.
The only way I could crawl out of this was to (figuratively) remove my eyes and replace them with Satan's eyes. Satan only sees the good in us and he wants it to grow. He loves us above and beyond anything in this existence.
I had to start loving myself and wanting myself to grow/change. I focused on only acknowledging myself the way other good people acknowledge me, such as co-workers, family and friends. Then I had to believe it, everyday, and continue becoming and shaping myself to the strong role model hero figure that I thought I could never become.
A weird aside, I've always been the happy-go-lucky optimist around all social circles because I would only treat others with compassion, yet ironically I treated myself the opposite way. It was like I was projecting what I want for myself to others thinking about the state of this world and I'd get a positive feedback loop and dopamine hit every time . This only fed my into my nihilism and it acted like a drug with major withdrawals.
Socializing would feel great, even blissful, yet when I was alone at home I'd think things like "I will never be smart like fellow members and our HP(S)s because I don't know jack about history/politics; not like they do", or "I will never be wealthy/successful."
Again (Satan's eyes = "You ARE successful and you ARE smart because YOU have abilities and qualities no one else can ever even hope to obtain, let alone imagine. YOU are YOU and I love YOU).
I had to do this non=stop and you know what? It was fucking hard at first resisting those vile NPC traps, but the more I did it the easier it got. I kept going, kept meditating and since then I've never looked back.
That's my anecdote anyway. I don't know if it helps but seriously, at my core, I hope it does because I very deeply care about our genuine SS brethren.
PS - sorry for the cuss word.
HAIL SATAN!!