I’m not doing well

[MercuryWisdom]

I’m not doing very well and I don’t understand why.

I need someone to talk to, but no one understands me. I usually have friends that would understand different parts of me so I would reach out to them to speak when I feel bad in these different parts.

But this part, no one understands I don’t understand it either I just feel it.

I feel like I’m drowning, I wish I was drowning, I can’t escape myself. I don’t know what to do, no one understands.

I want to escape far far away from this planet even and this world and I can’t and it hurts me.

I feel disillusioned with everything and I can’t find the meaning of any of it. I can’t find worth or meaning in myself and I don’t know what to do.

I need to be far away from everything I need to be alone and just drown. I can’t escape myself and I don’t know what to do about it.

I keep trying to be a better person and I fail. I need something to save me because I am lost.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

I need someone to talk to

I understand how you feel, if you want you can try to write to me privately, don't make a big deal about it, but don't feel “pushed to do it” either. If you want to talk to someone even if it's just to vent or cheer yourself up without necessarily needing practical advice, or yes or otherwise an outside point of view, I'm available. Just, I'm very, VERY busy so don't expect me to be available all the time.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

I understand how you feel, if you want you can try to write to me privately, don't make a big deal about it, but don't feel “pushed to do it” either. If you want to talk to someone even if it's just to vent or cheer yourself up without necessarily needing practical advice, or yes or otherwise an outside point of view, I'm available. Just, I'm very, VERY busy so don't expect me to be available all the time.

Thank you

 

[Eos_]

Hello there @MercuryWisdom - if it helps please just know that I read you post and I am sorry that you are going through hard moments. You are not alone. Life has its ups and down, and sometimes we need to go through the low points to get back to the high points that are just around the corner. Without feeling bad sometimes it would mean we couldn’t appreciate the times of peace and happiness as much either. Even sadness and pain has its silver lining, even if you can’t see it at the moment.

If you have any specific topics or details about what is causing your feelings feel free to talk about them here if you’re comfortable sharing more. If not just know we are here for you! ❤

 

[Epiphany]

I’m not doing very well and I don’t understand why.

I need someone to talk to, but no one understands me. I usually have friends that would understand different parts of me so I would reach out to them to speak when I feel bad in these different parts.

But this part, no one understands I don’t understand it either I just feel it.

I feel like I’m drowning, I wish I was drowning, I can’t escape myself. I don’t know what to do, no one understands.

I want to escape far far away from this planet even and this world and I can’t and it hurts me.

I feel disillusioned with everything and I can’t find the meaning of any of it. I can’t find worth or meaning in myself and I don’t know what to do.

I need to be far away from everything I need to be alone and just drown. I can’t escape myself and I don’t know what to do about it.

I keep trying to be a better person and I fail. I need something to save me because I am lost.

Your neptune is showing.

I'm familiar with this feeling, having experienced it myself. I haven't made complete sense of it yet. But I'm here if you want to talk.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

Your neptune is showing.

I'm familiar with this feeling, having experienced it myself. I haven't made complete sense of it yet. But I'm here if you want to talk.

I just wish I was better.

Ever since I found out about my Neptune and other intense placements, I was never ashamed or felt bad about them, I loved them because they made me special, and showed the same amount of extreme potential, spiritually and in other ways even if they are a bit tough, I thought I was strong and I’ll succeed.

I have potential, but right now I’m nothing I’ve been nothing for years. Just trying, what a joke I keep trying with the same passion and belief that this time I’ll succeed.

No one understands what this means to me how it hurts me, I’ve been trying to be something better since I was 13. And I keep trying, I succeed and I feel happy then suddenly I enter a time warp and I’m back to square one.

I was just trying again and it just came all tumbling down again, I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know if I believe in myself anymore. I don’t want to try again, maybe I’m just not good at it, maybe I’ll never be good at it. Potential is nothing, and my actions mean nothing too since they all end up the same.

And I always end up alone anyway, never understood, and if understood in one part of my life, I’m never understood as a whole, I need to be seen for who I really am, not for the ideas people see me or separate parts of myself. I need to be seen as a whole and then accepted and loved. People around me don’t want to see me they just want to see the person they love, the version of me that’s been specifically made by me for them and then I’m trapped.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

I am available to talk. Just have few energies as well lately, as it seems many of us are undergoing something big, but will be glad for a chat.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

Your neptune is showing.

I'm familiar with this feeling, having experienced it myself. I haven't made complete sense of it yet. But I'm here if you want to talk.

Maybe I over-notice this, but recently I see an increasing number of people venting out exhaustion and extreme mental state problems, on here, like on the edge of drowning.
Just wondering if all of this is indeed linked to Neptune moving around 29 degrees in Pisces, that is fatal ending degree, after entering Aries. It will be there again after November, then out of Pisces completely.
HPs Maxine wrote about this :
Pisces
Neptune is at home in Pisces. Neptune was in Pisces in the last days of Rome. After Rome fell, the world entered the Dark Ages. That was in the age of Pisces. We are now going into Aquarius. Preceding every age, often there is often a great catastrophe and a loss of life.

I think this loss of life may also be referred to something spiritual and mental rather than physical?

 

[Anemos Aiteros]

I am also here for you @MercuryWisdom

 

[MercuryWisdom]

Maybe I over-notice this, but recently I see an increasing number of people venting out exhaustion and extreme mental state problems, on here, like on the edge of drowning.
Just wondering if all of this is indeed linked to Neptune moving around 29 degrees in Pisces, that is fatal ending degree, after entering Aries. It will be there again after November, then out of Pisces completely.
HPs Maxine wrote about this :
Pisces
Neptune is at home in Pisces. Neptune was in Pisces in the last days of Rome. After Rome fell, the world entered the Dark Ages. That was in the age of Pisces. We are now going into Aquarius. Preceding every age, often there is often a great catastrophe and a loss of life.

I think this loss of life may also be referred to something spiritual and mental rather than physical?

Interesting detail

 

[MercuryWisdom]

I am also here for you @MercuryWisdom

Thank you brother, grateful to your kindness.

 

[Epiphany]

I just wish I was better.

Ever since I found out about my Neptune and other intense placements, I was never ashamed or felt bad about them, I loved them because they made me special, and showed the same amount of extreme potential, spiritually and in other ways even if they are a bit tough, I thought I was strong and I’ll succeed.

I have potential, but right now I’m nothing I’ve been nothing for years. Just trying, what a joke I keep trying with the same passion and belief that this time I’ll succeed.

No one understands what this means to me how it hurts me, I’ve been trying to be something better since I was 13. And I keep trying, I succeed and I feel happy then suddenly I enter a time warp and I’m back to square one.

I was just trying again and it just came all tumbling down again, I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know if I believe in myself anymore. I don’t want to try again, maybe I’m just not good at it, maybe I’ll never be good at it. Potential is nothing, and my actions mean nothing too since they all end up the same.

And I always end up alone anyway, never understood, and if understood in one part of my life, I’m never understood as a whole, I need to be seen for who I really am, not for the ideas people see me or separate parts of myself. I need to be seen as a whole and then accepted and loved. People around me don’t want to see me they just want to see the person they love, the version of me that’s been specifically made by me for them and then I’m trapped.

You need to sort your neptune out. Get grounded and go find your fire. Get out of your head.

All of this confusion and doubt and wallowing and sense of nebulousness is neptunian. You need to counterbalance it.

That last paragraph, I've been there and had those thoughts too. You're focused too much on seeing yourself through your perception of how others see you. You need to get away from this and focus on just being you. If you want people to see the real you then be the real you, stop masking and putting up fronts.

Neptune loves theater, but if you're in costume all the time you're gonna forget how to play the character behind the mask. Success will no longer belong to you, it'll belong to the mask, but the failures will always pierce through.

Get off it. Get in your body. Drop the masks and be your own guy. Then you can take ownership of the good and the bad.

 

[nema]

I’m not doing very well and I don’t understand why.

I need someone to talk to, but no one understands me. I usually have friends that would understand different parts of me so I would reach out to them to speak when I feel bad in these different parts.

But this part, no one understands I don’t understand it either I just feel it.

I feel like I’m drowning, I wish I was drowning, I can’t escape myself. I don’t know what to do, no one understands.

I want to escape far far away from this planet even and this world and I can’t and it hurts me.

I feel disillusioned with everything and I can’t find the meaning of any of it. I can’t find worth or meaning in myself and I don’t know what to do.

I need to be far away from everything I need to be alone and just drown. I can’t escape myself and I don’t know what to do about it.

I keep trying to be a better person and I fail. I need something to save me because I am lost.

What's something you always loved in life?

 

[Shines666]

I’m not doing very well and I don’t understand why.

I need someone to talk to, but no one understands me. I usually have friends that would understand different parts of me so I would reach out to them to speak when I feel bad in these different parts.

But this part, no one understands I don’t understand it either I just feel it.

I feel like I’m drowning, I wish I was drowning, I can’t escape myself. I don’t know what to do, no one understands.

I want to escape far far away from this planet even and this world and I can’t and it hurts me.

I feel disillusioned with everything and I can’t find the meaning of any of it. I can’t find worth or meaning in myself and I don’t know what to do.

I need to be far away from everything I need to be alone and just drown. I can’t escape myself and I don’t know what to do about it.

I keep trying to be a better person and I fail. I need something to save me because I am lost.

You spend time in your mind brother, someone who spends most of his time there is telling you.

Especially in moments where I'm alone. And I've noticed that many of my thoughts are useless, fake worries and more...

I just need to live in the present to realize my value, and live peacefully. As soon as I give power to my thoughts I manifest all my worries, everything that surrounds me moves according to what worries me and what I think...

And I end up feeling the same as you, many times it seems we fall into deception (Neptune), thinking we are not enough or hopeless but if you look carefully it's not like that, you are much more.

 

[TJ 666]

I’m not doing very well and I don’t understand why.

I need someone to talk to, but no one understands me. I usually have friends that would understand different parts of me so I would reach out to them to speak when I feel bad in these different parts.

But this part, no one understands I don’t understand it either I just feel it.

I feel like I’m drowning, I wish I was drowning, I can’t escape myself. I don’t know what to do, no one understands.

I want to escape far far away from this planet even and this world and I can’t and it hurts me.

I feel disillusioned with everything and I can’t find the meaning of any of it. I can’t find worth or meaning in myself and I don’t know what to do.

I need to be far away from everything I need to be alone and just drown. I can’t escape myself and I don’t know what to do about it.

I keep trying to be a better person and I fail. I need something to save me because I am lost.

I hear you brother, sometimes I feel like this too and it makes me question life altogether. It sneaks up on me even at times when everything is peaceful and well around me.

For me it was a lack of meaning and a lack of connection. I keep thinking about it, my thoughts going round and round in circles, and it all makes less sense the more I think about it.

What snaps me out of it is often things like an unexpected hug or a compliment. When I thought about it, I realized that is "meaning." Humans are fundamentally social beings, that includes you and me, people are meant to find purpose and meaning in each other, and there is no goal without guiding each other. That is why connection is so important.

For a moment think not of your responsibilities and duties, nor the pressure to perform well, but simply the wonder of how you once looked up to the capable adults around you as a child: a time when you didn't even know to doubt yet that others knew what is right, that they have the answers. Then reflect on how they too were always people just like you, flawed and full of uncertainty, often with no one else to guide them. Realize they only found the answers because you believed in them, because you needed them, because you wanted them.

Perhaps like me, you too will find purpose and meaning when you are connected with others. When you feel this way, you may think that the connections you have don't count, that no one understands this part of you, therefore you try to distance yourself. But what if it's the other way around, that this part of you doesn't understand others, and that's why you feel lost?

Most others too have parts of themselves they don't understand, you are the same as them in that way, even if no one understands. But you don't need to understand everything, and dwelling on it won't help; you only need to accept even what you don't understand. When people try to lift each other up, things will feel important to them, and there is meaning in that. Everything you don't know won't matter, because when you know you care about each other, you know everything you do counts.

Your best will always be enough. When you feel like it is not, you must shift your perspective, reconsider what you're trying to do, and accept those who appreciate your efforts.

 

[Naithedan]

Your neptune is showing.

Is that what the fuck this is?! I've been fighting the desire to isolate and my anhedonia has been haywire for about a month now and it's been unusually strong as of late. I've been taking it as a que to do inner work on myself. Maybe confront some of my past issues. Just been cleansing and thinking through everything.

 

[Epiphany]

I hear you brother, sometimes I feel like this too and it makes me question life altogether. It sneaks up on me even at times when everything is peaceful and well around me.

For me it was a lack of meaning and a lack of connection. I keep thinking about it, my thoughts going round and round in circles, and it all makes less sense the more I think about it.

What snaps me out of it is often things like an unexpected hug or a compliment. When I thought about it, I realized that is "meaning." Humans are fundamentally social beings, that includes you and me, people are meant to find purpose and meaning in each other, and there is no goal without guiding each other. That is why connection is so important.

For a moment think not of your responsibilities and duties, nor the pressure to perform well, but simply the wonder of how you once looked up to the capable adults around you as a child: a time when you didn't even know to doubt yet that others knew what is right, that they have the answers. Then reflect on how they too were always people just like you, flawed and full of uncertainty, often with no one else to guide them. Realize they only found the answers because you believed in them, because you needed them, because you wanted them.

Perhaps like me, you too will find purpose and meaning when you are connected with others. When you feel this way, you may think that the connections you have don't count, that no one understands this part of you, therefore you try to distance yourself. But what if it's the other way around, that this part of you doesn't understand others, and that's why you feel lost?

Most others too have parts of themselves they don't understand, you are the same as them in that way, even if no one understands. But you don't need to understand everything, and dwelling on it won't help; you only need to accept even what you don't understand. When people try to lift each other up, things will feel important to them, and there is meaning in that. Everything you don't know won't matter, because when you know you care about each other, you know everything you do counts.

Your best will always be enough. When you feel like it is not, you must shift your perspective, reconsider what you're trying to do, and accept those who appreciate your efforts.

Connection is critical. That's what zapped me out of my funks.

And I always end up alone anyway, never understood, and if understood in one part of my life, I’m never understood as a whole, I need to be seen for who I really am, not for the ideas people see me or separate parts of myself. I need to be seen as a whole and then accepted and loved. People around me don’t want to see me they just want to see the person they love, the version of me that’s been specifically made by me for them and then I’m trapped.

Adding to this, it's true that people don't "fully" know or see you. Very rarely, unless there is a deep connection or the other person is empathic and intuitive, or spiritually adept. Generally there is only the perception of you, which is altered by you and them and the world between you.

But not all things should be known, and not all things can be known. We know the dark side of the moon exists but we're fine only seeing the bright side. The moon doesn't care that we only see the "outward facing" side of it, nor do we much care that we don't get to see the far side.

Not seeing the dark side of the moon doesn't mean you don't see the moon, it just means you see what the moon shows you. It means you can only see what you see. And even what you see, can be interpreted differently when seen by others. The full moon can be bad luck. Or it can provide comforting and guiding light, a familiar and beautiful face. Or it can be an omen of completion, a new cycle.

It's this way with people. Some things are too personal to be understood or even known by other people, it's for your own self to contemplate. It's internal. It doesn't mean people can't know or see you. It's just part of the private inner world that everyone has and is unique to each of them.

 

[Epiphany]

Topical: the Johari Window.

 

[Epiphany]

Johari window - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[Silverfire]

I've always enjoyed your posts MercuryWisdom. I really hope you start feeling better. I feel quite bad and isolated a majority of the time as well. Everyone in my life is powerless to help and I know the feeling about nobody understanding.
I have only gone forward due majorly to the tools and techniques taught here and I'm sure you were a part of that, as I have been aware of your presence and contributions to these forums since I became SS in 2020. You matter and we're honored to have such a dedicated person in you.
I know you will overcome this negative period.
We are also here to help and suggest as best we can here in the forums.
Hail Satan most beautiful and high.

 

[HadesWithin666]

You already know yourself; you just need to apply more awareness and dig deeper to fully integrate this "self." What you feel might come from being pushed by external forces—especially people—into doing things that don’t align with your nature and true desires. This can create the urge to escape, but no matter where you go, the "problem" will always follow. Sometimes, we need solitude, but only you can determine when that time is right. Being alone can either heal or harm—it’s a personal journey.

Ask yourself: Who am I? Who do I want to be? What are my dreams? How can I stop caring about others' expectations? (Answer: Stop giving them so much power over you.) Be your true self.

Every being is unique, but we live in a world of lies, manipulation, and insincerity, making self-authenticity difficult. This often leads to depression and stagnation. Remember, as long as you have consciousness, you have the ability to explore your depths and find your answers. Feeling lost or unhappy means you haven’t yet fully embraced yourself. Only through self-discovery can you truly be free. Stop letting others influence you—listen to yourself. You have the knowledge, potential, and resources to break free and be reborn as a stronger version of yourself.

You weren’t born to please everyone, and that’s okay. Keep moving forward. Life is both beautiful and harsh, but you have everything you need to become who you want to be. The only question is—who do you want to become?

If you were a god, what kind of god would you be? And why? What would you do for eternity?

You're a spiritual person and we are fortunate enough to have such wonderful Beings by our side and with us, don't let this go to waste , don't expect the non-spiritual beings to be able to understand your own self when they don't even understand how spirituality works, wanting others to understand you at the level you are is like wanting a cat to understand quantum psychics , that does not mean I am expert in quantum psychics and one does not needs to be if he does not like and wishes so but this was just an example to understand my point.

 

[Serpent13]

Hi, MercuryWisdom, I've seen some of your posts on recent threads, and I relate to some of them. I'm NOT where I want to be in life or in spiritual advancement either!!! It's frustrating. But I'm working on it too. I just wanted to comment and show some support. Wish you the best.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

What's something you always loved in life?

Success, money.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

I've always enjoyed your posts MercuryWisdom. I really hope you start feeling better. I feel quite bad and isolated a majority of the time as well. Everyone in my life is powerless to help and I know the feeling about nobody understanding.
I have only gone forward due majorly to the tools and techniques taught here and I'm sure you were a part of that, as I have been aware of your presence and contributions to these forums since I became SS in 2020. You matter and we're honored to have such a dedicated person in you.
I know you will overcome this negative period.
We are also here to help and suggest as best we can here in the forums.
Hail Satan most beautiful and high.

Thank you.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

Hi, MercuryWisdom, I've seen some of your posts on recent threads, and I relate to some of them. I'm NOT where I want to be in life or in spiritual advancement either!!! It's frustrating. But I'm working on it too. I just wanted to comment and show some support. Wish you the best.

Thank you

 

[nema]

Success, money.

I'll tell you what's going to happen you Legend.. you are going to get over your tribulations and in the near future you're going to be rich and one of the most influential people around.. that's not even my opinion nor toxic positivity, that's a fact! Did you see that dumb movie Limitless? That's where your Life is heading. Every son of Satanas has his own troubles, this Is the Age of Aquarius and It belong to us. The near future! Just keep pushing ..

 

[Windstrider666]

Its very easy for people to become lost or confused. After all, there are many things we dont know. Both in regards to ourselves and the world around us. And the people who we surround ourselves with are also the same. Everyone is just trying to live and that leaves them no time to find answers or even think of the questions. But for us, there is a distinct difference. And its that we are the disciples and students of the greatest being in the Universe. We are the children of Satan.

https://joyofsatan.org/Meaning.html

We have the means to obtain answers. And we have the greatest pillars of support that will never give up on us even when we want to give up on ourselves

https://satanslibrary.org/English/HP_Hooded_Cobra/Satan_Loves_You_-_High_Priest_Hooded_Cobra_666.pdf

And lastly, when things get too rough and you feel an unbearable weight keeping you down its best to just let go.

https://joyofsatan.org/LettingGo.html

To let go and let Satan handle it may be hard and sometimes it can be scary. But to trust in Satan is the only thing you need. After rereading it I also think it doesnt just mean literally. Of course Satan will help but it also means let the essence of Satan imbue your every thought and action. Truth, wisdom, justice, inner strength, all of these and more are what Satan represents.

I wish you well, and I know that you are going to overcome this.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

I'll tell you what's going to happen you Legend.. you are going to get over your tribulations and in the near future you're going to be rich and one of the most influential people around.. that's not even my opinion nor toxic positivity, that's a fact! Did you see that dumb movie Limitless? That's where your Life is heading. Every son of Satanas has his own troubles, this Is the Age of Aquarius and It belong to us. The near future! Just keep pushing ..

Thank you for this. I think i’m starting to feel a bit better today.