Ignisalas
Member
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2017
- Messages
- 288
I made a post about a week ago about problems I was having and you guys really helped me out on that. I wanted to make another post because right now im going through a heavy wave of depression.
I said in my last post that I have problems with sexual deprivation, and its bothered me a lot. I have a massive blockage in my sacral chakra, and its because I have a bad mars in my birth chart. Every other planet is fine, and I even have my chart ruler and other planets in their exalted and home signs. Its just a bad mars that's causing a ton of problems, along with a badly placed Saturn. I have an 8th house Saturn that causes poverty and sexual deprivation.
I sit and think a lot about how my life would be if I found a partner and a good relationship, and it drives me crazy. I don't want to sound like some kind of freak, but I think about sex a lot, and I have planets in my birth chart that causes me to think like that, but the issue is because I have a bad mars and I never can find a partner and have a decent sexual outlet, it causes depression, and its a very heavy depression. It actually hurts on the inside, its a feeling of total loneliness and desolation that I cant explain, but I hope none of you guys ever have to feel that.
I'm in the middle of a munka working and trying to get rid of bad Saturn influences. I don't think its working. I cant enter a trance, I never could, and the home I live in also makes it impossible to.
I just lie down and pretend to feel the vibration through my body and I hope that's good enough.
Over the years of going through all the depression and the life I have, has really made me hate myself and feel like im not worth anything. I barely talk to Satan anymore because I feel too damn worthless and weak. I cant stand this feeling and I want to get out of this mindset as fast as I can. When I have a wave of depression hit me, it hits hard, and im literally walking around my bedroom crying and things when it does, its really bad.
I feel like I just cant escape this, and its getting the best of me.
The root of all this depression is the blockage on my sacral chakra. I have had the most miserable life, and as a kid, I was already bullied and all that shit. I grew up in a very violent home without my dad present at all, and my mom was a complete drug addict, abusive and a cruel bitch.
I don't know what to do to get rid of the problem in my sacral chakra. Im already using munka for Saturn. I could use runes, but I just suck at using magic, I think I just don't put enough effort into it, or take it serious enough for any kind of working I do to actually work. I starting vibrating Vaum into my sacral chakra the other day. Im doing it every day for 54 reps, but Vaum all by itself just opens and empowers the chakra, and doesn't really clean it, or get rid of any issues. Can anyone give me some ideas please. I really need them.
I said in my last post that I have problems with sexual deprivation, and its bothered me a lot. I have a massive blockage in my sacral chakra, and its because I have a bad mars in my birth chart. Every other planet is fine, and I even have my chart ruler and other planets in their exalted and home signs. Its just a bad mars that's causing a ton of problems, along with a badly placed Saturn. I have an 8th house Saturn that causes poverty and sexual deprivation.
I sit and think a lot about how my life would be if I found a partner and a good relationship, and it drives me crazy. I don't want to sound like some kind of freak, but I think about sex a lot, and I have planets in my birth chart that causes me to think like that, but the issue is because I have a bad mars and I never can find a partner and have a decent sexual outlet, it causes depression, and its a very heavy depression. It actually hurts on the inside, its a feeling of total loneliness and desolation that I cant explain, but I hope none of you guys ever have to feel that.
I'm in the middle of a munka working and trying to get rid of bad Saturn influences. I don't think its working. I cant enter a trance, I never could, and the home I live in also makes it impossible to.
I just lie down and pretend to feel the vibration through my body and I hope that's good enough.
Over the years of going through all the depression and the life I have, has really made me hate myself and feel like im not worth anything. I barely talk to Satan anymore because I feel too damn worthless and weak. I cant stand this feeling and I want to get out of this mindset as fast as I can. When I have a wave of depression hit me, it hits hard, and im literally walking around my bedroom crying and things when it does, its really bad.
I feel like I just cant escape this, and its getting the best of me.
The root of all this depression is the blockage on my sacral chakra. I have had the most miserable life, and as a kid, I was already bullied and all that shit. I grew up in a very violent home without my dad present at all, and my mom was a complete drug addict, abusive and a cruel bitch.
I don't know what to do to get rid of the problem in my sacral chakra. Im already using munka for Saturn. I could use runes, but I just suck at using magic, I think I just don't put enough effort into it, or take it serious enough for any kind of working I do to actually work. I starting vibrating Vaum into my sacral chakra the other day. Im doing it every day for 54 reps, but Vaum all by itself just opens and empowers the chakra, and doesn't really clean it, or get rid of any issues. Can anyone give me some ideas please. I really need them.