I have moved out before but it wasn’t sustainable as I have moved to an extremely toxic environment, because it was convenient it was a relative’s place so I wasn’t paying rent. Going back home helped me heal as I was destroyed and almost dying. (A whole lot happened when I moved out first time.)
I do not know your exact situation and cannot read all the posts here, but I have the feeling staying with your family caused suffering to you.
According to what you say, it seems you are struggling with some sort of resistance from someone in your family - or maybe your own mind - not leaving you to go out. So you went out, than a setback brought you back, then now again out.... so on.
I fought a similar war with my abusive father and family. Most of that was unconscious, only now I fully understand the value all my efforts.
As soon as I finished my school, I immediately packed my bags and found a job as a waiter in a foreign country, just wanted to go far from home and never return. Everything went bad, house was not more than a shared room with other negative people and job was non-existing. So I returned home drained and with low morale, after a few days and having spent most of my savings to get a flight back.
Later on, another attempt to escape: I needed accommodation, money and distance so I went to the army as a volunteer. Good choice, it could have worked, I also learned some skills, but after a few months, mind fatigue and other circumstances forced me back home.
I spent a couple of years more with family, in the while I found my own job and started to be financially independent. Last attempt, the good one, I found a partner in another city. I managed later on to find a job in that city, and immediately after a home. I did that! Everything odd happened, I found obstacles, crackdowns, car failures, emotional outbursts, and was not easy. but I did that! Years of war with the final victory!
In the coming years I always struggled with some karmic forces and unconscious pulses, from both sides, willing to bring me back. I had hard times, but this never happened. Just once, I was close to fall in the hands of my family again, but I was already dedicated SS and I received help and directions from my GD, so this did not happen.
Long story short : it was hard, I failed a couple of times, I felt drained and desperate at times - BUT I regret nothing. I would do this again and again, because, my family was a block to my spiritual advancement, destructive and enslaving. Leaving that place helped to open my astral senses and empower my Soul, I could not have done this in my family house.
I began my personal war for freedom many years ago, I am getting older now, and if I would not have attempted my "escapes" when I was young, I would probably be alone and cracked living with my old father to clean his toiled in sadness. Also physically impaired. This was my fate WITHOUT 1. help from the Gods 2. my personal efforts. But it never happend and now I am too beyond the point of no return.
I do not know what are you fighting now. I do not know what would have been yoiur karmic fate without this argument with your brother, triggering a new escape. What I know is: don't stop. Pursue your goal of freedom at any cost. I did, even if I did not know but my Soul pushed me, and I am happy I did.
My best encouragement and wish to succeed and see your life getting every day better.
![Karnonnos [JG]](/data/avatars/m/21/21596.jpg?1704756304){kind=avatar}
بس اكيد لما تكبري معاشك وتاميناتك هتكون احسن من موظف عادي محنا مش هنفضل طول عمرنا نشتغل
