About The Astral

[sublimesatanist]

I think this dream is one of the Spiritual dreams. The levitation as a Spiritual ability and the shifting of position and "seeming real" sensations could also refer to advanced astral senses, which is also Spiritual.

Do you think it didn't make sense? I think it made a lot of sense. And then you immediately started working on your chakras and that inspired you, so that dream, even if it seemed realistic, made sense. It made a lot of sense. I hope you still have that motivation to strengthen and develop yourself to experience that amazing event, not only in your dream, but in real life.

Sorry for the delayed reply.

I think this dream is one of the Spiritual dreams. The levitation as a Spiritual ability and the shifting of position and "seeming real" sensations could also refer to advanced astral senses, which is also Spiritual.

Do you think it didn't make sense? I think it made a lot of sense. And then you immediately started working on your chakras and that inspired you, so that dream, even if it seemed realistic, made sense. It made a lot of sense. I hope you still have that motivation to strengthen and develop yourself to experience that amazing event, not only in your dream, but in real life.

Sorry for the delayed reply.

No problem with the delayed response! Life is busy, especially for us Spiritual Satanists.

To me this dream made zero sense but it's interesting you mention that it did make sense. Perhaps there was something profound about it and I'm sure I'll one day revisit it.

I very seldom remember my dreams which always bugged me. Come to think of it I've recently discovered (reading the JoS) that a part of being an SS involves having absolutely no fear. Lately I'm noticing that I've unwittingly put myself in a state of anxiety by overthinking about things like aliens, angels, the NWO, chemtrails, 5G and so on. This has caused me to over-use my computer at night which has inversely affected my quality of sleep. Perhaps it's this that makes me forget my dreams. Still, I never have nightmares that I can remember, not since I was very young anyway.

The only other recent dream from the top of my head that I do remember is from spring of last year. It was not so much scary, rather it was a very bizarre dream (as though I was in Alice in Wonderland).

I was walking outside on a dark cool night when within seconds a huge flying saucer appeared out of nowhere with no sound and beamed me up. These grays telepathically chained me to a wall where I sat with other people who looked terrified to the point of madness. They were shaking, speechless and incoherent, some muttering sounds as if trying to speak. I remember thinking that the greys left us alone the entire time so I didn't see what the fuss was about. I know how evil greys are yet for some reason I was in a state of feeling numb and confused. A really weird thing I remember is there was a holographic TV (which looked like a real TV screen) on the wall above us. It had some kind of alien talking in a microphone on what appeared to be a news channel.

Suddenly a door lifted open in a perpendicular motion and these reptilian-looking aliens (shooting the grays with lasers) boarded and took over. The greys were literally vaporized by these lasers. These aliens were extremely friendly, constantly smiling as they walked towards me while turning their heads side to side like a bird whilst keeping a fixed gaze on me. If I recall they were much shorter than reptilians and had a reddish-brown colour with a cream colour on their necks and palms. They were also dressed in silver space-suits without helmets.

They unchained me by hand and I followed them to the front of the craft. Based on their gestures toward a map I knew they wanted to know where I wanted to get dropped off. I thought it and they somehow knew. In literally a second we arrived to a gas station nearby my house (the front of the ship had a massive panoramic window) and they beamed me back down as they waved good-bye from a circular opening in the centre of the base of the ship. I'm quite sure I remember the beam of light was bright blue like many other accounts. Still, a lot of it is fuzzy and hard to remember while other parts were more vivid. That's about right when I woke up.


Now this dream occurred during a long hiatuses from Satanism. This was a time where I spent my nights smoking cannabis and researching conspiracy theories for hours on end, reading articles and watching videos on Bitchute. I'm very happy I quit smoking pot and that I'm back stronger than ever with spiritual advancement being my top priority in life. I also still feel the progress I had achieved years prior so I'm on a good track.

I don't know what your thoughts are on this one but I thought it would be interesting to share. I don't like the idea of seeking-out extra-terrestrials (other than Satan and the Goetic Demons) yet I can't help but wonder what's really out there and if there are benevolent aliens like some abductees claim. Perhaps this was even an illusion created by the greys to make me believe there are good ones? Who can really say since these beings have technology and powers beyond our comprehension. At the very least the best way for me to learn more is entering the astral realm voluntarily which I'm hopeful I can achieve within a solid year of practice.

Thanks for your time and sorry for the long-winded and almost nonsensical story. Dreams are just so darn fascinating.

 

[BrightSpace666]

I think this dream is one of the Spiritual dreams. The levitation as a Spiritual ability and the shifting of position and "seeming real" sensations could also refer to advanced astral senses, which is also Spiritual.

Do you think it didn't make sense? I think it made a lot of sense. And then you immediately started working on your chakras and that inspired you, so that dream, even if it seemed realistic, made sense. It made a lot of sense. I hope you still have that motivation to strengthen and develop yourself to experience that amazing event, not only in your dream, but in real life.

Sorry for the delayed reply.

I think this dream is one of the Spiritual dreams. The levitation as a Spiritual ability and the shifting of position and "seeming real" sensations could also refer to advanced astral senses, which is also Spiritual.

Do you think it didn't make sense? I think it made a lot of sense. And then you immediately started working on your chakras and that inspired you, so that dream, even if it seemed realistic, made sense. It made a lot of sense. I hope you still have that motivation to strengthen and develop yourself to experience that amazing event, not only in your dream, but in real life.

Sorry for the delayed reply.

No problem with the delayed response! Life is busy, especially for us Spiritual Satanists.

To me this dream made zero sense but it's interesting you mention that it did make sense. Perhaps there was something profound about it and I'm sure I'll one day revisit it.

I very seldom remember my dreams which always bugged me. Come to think of it I've recently discovered (reading the JoS) that a part of being an SS involves having absolutely no fear. Lately I'm noticing that I've unwittingly put myself in a state of anxiety by overthinking about things like aliens, angels, the NWO, chemtrails, 5G and so on. This has caused me to over-use my computer at night which has inversely affected my quality of sleep. Perhaps it's this that makes me forget my dreams. Still, I never have nightmares that I can remember, not since I was very young anyway.

The only other recent dream from the top of my head that I do remember is from spring of last year. It was not so much scary, rather it was a very bizarre dream (as though I was in Alice in Wonderland).

I was walking outside on a dark cool night when within seconds a huge flying saucer appeared out of nowhere with no sound and beamed me up. These grays telepathically chained me to a wall where I sat with other people who looked terrified to the point of madness. They were shaking, speechless and incoherent, some muttering sounds as if trying to speak. I remember thinking that the greys left us alone the entire time so I didn't see what the fuss was about. I know how evil greys are yet for some reason I was in a state of feeling numb and confused. A really weird thing I remember is there was a holographic TV (which looked like a real TV screen) on the wall above us. It had some kind of alien talking in a microphone on what appeared to be a news channel.

Suddenly a door lifted open in a perpendicular motion and these reptilian-looking aliens (shooting the grays with lasers) boarded and took over. The greys were literally vaporized by these lasers. These aliens were extremely friendly, constantly smiling as they walked towards me while turning their heads side to side like a bird whilst keeping a fixed gaze on me. If I recall they were much shorter than reptilians and had a reddish-brown colour with a cream colour on their necks and palms. They were also dressed in silver space-suits without helmets.

They unchained me by hand and I followed them to the front of the craft. Based on their gestures toward a map I knew they wanted to know where I wanted to get dropped off. I thought it and they somehow knew. In literally a second we arrived to a gas station nearby my house (the front of the ship had a massive panoramic window) and they beamed me back down as they waved good-bye from a circular opening in the centre of the base of the ship. I'm quite sure I remember the beam of light was bright blue like many other accounts. Still, a lot of it is fuzzy and hard to remember while other parts were more vivid. That's about right when I woke up.


Now this dream occurred during a long hiatuses from Satanism. This was a time where I spent my nights smoking cannabis and researching conspiracy theories for hours on end, reading articles and watching videos on Bitchute. I'm very happy I quit smoking pot and that I'm back stronger than ever with spiritual advancement being my top priority in life. I also still feel the progress I had achieved years prior so I'm on a good track.

I don't know what your thoughts are on this one but I thought it would be interesting to share. I don't like the idea of seeking-out extra-terrestrials (other than Satan and the Goetic Demons) yet I can't help but wonder what's really out there and if there are benevolent aliens like some abductees claim. Perhaps this was even an illusion created by the greys to make me believe there are good ones? Who can really say since these beings have technology and powers beyond our comprehension. At the very least the best way for me to learn more is entering the astral realm voluntarily which I'm hopeful I can achieve within a solid year of practice.

Thanks for your time and sorry for the long-winded and almost nonsensical story. Dreams are just so darn fascinating.

Improve yourself, move forward every day and turn your dreams into reality! As for recalling dreams, perhaps you could work on your memory. You could consider this as meditation. After waking up, always remember as much of your dream as possible. After a while the images will merge and you will see clearly what happened and what you dreamed.

As you mentioned aliens etc. these are not worth dealing with as they are programmed to give you these thoughts. Here you need to practice empty meditation to dispel these thoughts. Once you have an advanced mind, these negative energies and thoughts will no longer affect you.

As far as extraterrestrials are concerned, there are normal, decent creatures, but there are also those who pull the enemy's wagon, and these are malicious, filthy creatures. Don't pay any attention to such entities, don't listen to them in any respect if one should happen to try to contact you.

 

[sublimesatanist]

Improve yourself, move forward every day and turn your dreams into reality! As for recalling dreams, perhaps you could work on your memory. You could consider this as meditation. After waking up, always remember as much of your dream as possible. After a while the images will merge and you will see clearly what happened and what you dreamed.

As you mentioned aliens etc. these are not worth dealing with as they are programmed to give you these thoughts. Here you need to practice empty meditation to dispel these thoughts. Once you have an advanced mind, these negative energies and thoughts will no longer affect you.

As far as extraterrestrials are concerned, there are normal, decent creatures, but there are also those who pull the enemy's wagon, and these are malicious, filthy creatures. Don't pay any attention to such entities, don't listen to them in any respect if one should happen to try to contact you.

Thank you for your great advice. I will do lots of void meditations and stop entertaining any thoughts about extraterrestrials. I'm also done with watching any video from these people who channel messages from these beings, such as the Pleiadians. Those people creep me out, same with gurus. They seem so relatable yet it's their overly blissful state that makes me question what energies they're connecting to, just like the judeo/islamic religions.

I'm a Virgo and I always sought to empathize with everyone so that I could truly assess whether they're good or not in hopes that I could inspire others. I always had a dangerously open mind and It's a miracle I found the JoS back when I was 16 (I'm 30 now).

All I can say is Satan is good. I saw him once and it was during my hiatus. It was at 3 AM (I later learned that this is his hour). I woke up from a deep sleep which never happens and I saw him at the foot of my bed for a few seconds smiling at me. This was at a time I thought everyone (including Jews) were equal and where I was completely lost. I thought that objectivism was an excuse to "do as though wilt" (which happens to be exactly what the elite cults follow) so I avoided all religion because of it. I was programmed to fear power to put it simply.

After learning more about what Jews are really like I revisited JoS and the forums. Things really make sense now and I finally understand what HP Maxine meant by combining science with spirituality. This to me extended to philosophy and doing what is inherently (spiritually) right. If someone is beating me to death the right thing to do is fight back. I wish there was a way to change everyone yet there are so many stupid programmed people contributing to our controlled division. I guess there is no such thing as equality even if everyone has the potential and ability to improve.

And here I thought my dog had all the answers; live in constant harmony with all life. I still believe this is what we're designed for yet the Jews made the world a place where this isn't possible. Anyway, sorry to rant so much! Learning these truths has been quite the soul test for me and venting seems to help somehow. Being an eternal optimist my whole life makes pessimistic topics difficult for me to accept yet truth is truth and I thank Satan, the Gods, the HPs and you sisters and brothers for revealing it to me.

Hail Satan! <3

 

[BrightSpace666]

Improve yourself, move forward every day and turn your dreams into reality! As for recalling dreams, perhaps you could work on your memory. You could consider this as meditation. After waking up, always remember as much of your dream as possible. After a while the images will merge and you will see clearly what happened and what you dreamed.

As you mentioned aliens etc. these are not worth dealing with as they are programmed to give you these thoughts. Here you need to practice empty meditation to dispel these thoughts. Once you have an advanced mind, these negative energies and thoughts will no longer affect you.

As far as extraterrestrials are concerned, there are normal, decent creatures, but there are also those who pull the enemy's wagon, and these are malicious, filthy creatures. Don't pay any attention to such entities, don't listen to them in any respect if one should happen to try to contact you.

Thank you for your great advice. I will do lots of void meditations and stop entertaining any thoughts about extraterrestrials. I'm also done with watching any video from these people who channel messages from these beings, such as the Pleiadians. Those people creep me out, same with gurus. They seem so relatable yet it's their overly blissful state that makes me question what energies they're connecting to, just like the judeo/islamic religions.

I'm a Virgo and I always sought to empathize with everyone so that I could truly assess whether they're good or not in hopes that I could inspire others. I always had a dangerously open mind and It's a miracle I found the JoS back when I was 16 (I'm 30 now).

All I can say is Satan is good. I saw him once and it was during my hiatus. It was at 3 AM (I later learned that this is his hour). I woke up from a deep sleep which never happens and I saw him at the foot of my bed for a few seconds smiling at me. This was at a time I thought everyone (including Jews) were equal and where I was completely lost. I thought that objectivism was an excuse to "do as though wilt" (which happens to be exactly what the elite cults follow) so I avoided all religion because of it. I was programmed to fear power to put it simply.

After learning more about what Jews are really like I revisited JoS and the forums. Things really make sense now and I finally understand what HP Maxine meant by combining science with spirituality. This to me extended to philosophy and doing what is inherently (spiritually) right. If someone is beating me to death the right thing to do is fight back. I wish there was a way to change everyone yet there are so many stupid programmed people contributing to our controlled division. I guess there is no such thing as equality even if everyone has the potential and ability to improve.

And here I thought my dog had all the answers; live in constant harmony with all life. I still believe this is what we're designed for yet the Jews made the world a place where this isn't possible. Anyway, sorry to rant so much! Learning these truths has been quite the soul test for me and venting seems to help somehow. Being an eternal optimist my whole life makes pessimistic topics difficult for me to accept yet truth is truth and I thank Satan, the Gods, the HPs and you sisters and brothers for revealing it to me.

Hail Satan! <3

Yes, in fact, it is the removal of spirituality that has made the world the place we live in now. This can be reversed if we know the reality and the Truth, the Truth that is ours and that is being distorted by lies to keep people away from Spirituality.

In fact, I write my lengthy posts to help our newer members who are confused and beginning to realise how blurry the world is at the moment and want to know the Truth. As I said, if I can lead even one fellow member to the Truth, I am happy.

Knowing the Truth puts things in perspective and you see things differently, which is the right way. With Truth on our side, we have the opportunity to wake up, to dispel the gloom. Many people awaken and begin their Spiritual Journey.

 

[sublimesatanist]

Thank you for your input and sorry to take up your time. I'm doing much better now. I'll continue to focus on the spiritual and not dwell on the 4D world too much. Overthinking about things like philosophy and sociology without consistant meditation makes me feel mentally drained. Then the simplest problems (minor everyday failed expectations mainly) lead me to a state of emotional overload followed by states of sadness and pessimism.
I've always had a high propensity for this because I'm extremely black-and-white and very curious about what lines distinguish one group from another group (especially with nationality and religion).

Yet when I quiet my mind, look at the bigger picture and concern myself only with essential thoughts/actions I begin to feel very clear-minded and happy. The "bigger picture" to me is that most people want peace/harmony but don't know how to go about it. It's as though 99% of people are pure inside but their surroundings make them act poorly on the outside all because of that other 1% making a mess of things. And boy do some people need some work. That's the part I need to not overthink about the most.

It's a tough balance sometimes for me as I'm a person who only knows extremes. I was diagnosed with Asperger's and I notice that I definitely fixate on things.

This spiritual journey has its share of trials yet I'm finally learning from them. Sorry for so many random depressing messages btw! It's been a very strange way of me organizing my thoughts.

I'll keep the philosophical and historical research at a minimum (1 hour per day tops) and keep on meditating.

I'm also happily not taking any pharmaceuticals. These things never did me any good and honestly made me more like a zombie. My quest for perfectionism has lead me to a life free from anything synthetic/man-made.
I think my favourite part about Satanism may be how perfectionism is encouraged, to seek-out our best selves and strive towards maintaining it.

Anyway, I'll leave it there. And sorry to others for turning this amazing thread about the astral realm into a deep self-analysis and slight existential crisis. I suppose connecting to our true selves brings us closer to the astral so we can perhaps consider this part of it a random case study.

Hail Satan and Hail to our JoS family!

 

[sublimesatanist]

I want to add one final (final) statement. I realized something so obvious yet so underlooked.

Perfectionism is a goal but it is not an expectation.

I cried for the first time in years and had the most life changing experience.

I got into an disagreement with someone and afterwards felt completely drained spiritually and emotionally. I literally was nothing, just empty inside.

I kept Satan out thinking it was petty and I was being weak. When I let him in just a tiny bit my depression vanished out of thin air. Later on he embraced me in love stronger than I'd ever felt in my entire life.

I finally understand that he's always there helping to guide us. I can now see that Christianity was affecting me even as a total outsider. I thought I'd be weak like them if I opened up to Satan when I was in a negative place.

I get it now. HE is the light that shines our path for us, not us alone. Satanism is not just about making him proud. It's also about being proud of all that he offers us. This path is about perfect synergysity between him and us. This whole time I was being hard on myself.

I derived amazing insights from your comments on the nature of spiritual connection. It certainly played some role in my transformation and understanding it.

To think all I needed was to tap into emotions other than joy and contentment in order to really understand how profound this connection is that we all share.

Thanks again! Now I know I have no reason to fear anything ever again.


Hail Satan!!!

 

[BrightSpace666]

Thank you for your input and sorry to take up your time. I'm doing much better now. I'll continue to focus on the spiritual and not dwell on the 4D world too much. Overthinking about things like philosophy and sociology without consistant meditation makes me feel mentally drained. Then the simplest problems (minor everyday failed expectations mainly) lead me to a state of emotional overload followed by states of sadness and pessimism.
I've always had a high propensity for this because I'm extremely black-and-white and very curious about what lines distinguish one group from another group (especially with nationality and religion).

Yet when I quiet my mind, look at the bigger picture and concern myself only with essential thoughts/actions I begin to feel very clear-minded and happy. The "bigger picture" to me is that most people want peace/harmony but don't know how to go about it. It's as though 99% of people are pure inside but their surroundings make them act poorly on the outside all because of that other 1% making a mess of things. And boy do some people need some work. That's the part I need to not overthink about the most.

It's a tough balance sometimes for me as I'm a person who only knows extremes. I was diagnosed with Asperger's and I notice that I definitely fixate on things.

This spiritual journey has its share of trials yet I'm finally learning from them. Sorry for so many random depressing messages btw! It's been a very strange way of me organizing my thoughts.

I'll keep the philosophical and historical research at a minimum (1 hour per day tops) and keep on meditating.

I'm also happily not taking any pharmaceuticals. These things never did me any good and honestly made me more like a zombie. My quest for perfectionism has lead me to a life free from anything synthetic/man-made.
I think my favourite part about Satanism may be how perfectionism is encouraged, to seek-out our best selves and strive towards maintaining it.

Anyway, I'll leave it there. And sorry to others for turning this amazing thread about the astral realm into a deep self-analysis and slight existential crisis. I suppose connecting to our true selves brings us closer to the astral so we can perhaps consider this part of it a random case study.

Hail Satan and Hail to our JoS family!

In spirituality itself, self-knowledge is of paramount importance, as you need to know yourself before you can engage in magical/meditation practices. This can be difficult at first, but like everything else, it takes time. Once this is done, you can begin your Spiritual Adventure.

Trials are indeed part of this journey, often you feel you are not moving forward, you don't feel you are moving forward. But that's usually when you make the most progress. To find out your abilities you have to try things, you have to find out what you are good at and what you are not good at.

Man longs for peace and harmony, but to achieve it, he must live and seek his own peace, and then come to terms with what he may have felt was an obstacle, but is now a reality. People often fail to notice the peace around them, wasting their time on neutral things instead of noticing the treasure that this place produces.

Without self-awareness you are always lying to yourself and deceiving yourself. I am also writing so that we do not fight against ourselves. Let us accept ourselves as we are and focus on the Perfect, reach the paradise of Peace and Harmony and enjoy its fruits.

By the way, you're not bothering me at all, I'm glad you posted here and we're talking. You didn't spoil the topic either, you didn't write anything bad, don't get upset about it.

 

[One Wire Phenomenon]

Another weird thing that happened was I got into a physical fight with this guy much bigger than me. He hurt my brother and I just lost it and started punching him. It was fear mixed with anger and as I hit him I saw this same energy flash in my mind but it literally looked like lightning strikes LITTERLY!
We fought for a long time and I did not even get tired and fucked up his face completely blood was dripping on the whole floor.

Something similar happened but not as intense I build a Gerard Morin generator that produces high frequency high volts but low amps so it cannot kill anyway what happened was I was playing with this thing with live wires on each hand lol I know that is very dump but anyway I was still new. Somehow I got my hands on the live wires with both my hands and the electricity grabbed me. My fingers got pulled down on the wires I didn't burn but it held me there for some time. I was paralyzed so to speak. But what was strange was I felt the same energy(my energy)being pushed out of my body into the generator itsself. The generator doubled its speed and sounded completely abnormal. I was lucky I was standing on me feet and with a slow motion effect fell over backwards and the lives wires pulled out of my hands. I saw my life pass infront of my eyes and remember thinking I was going to die. Lol

Science and spirituality meet

"Resonance can be induced electromagnetically by an infrasonic pulse generator, which can establish a link, for instance, to a person’s inner organs by resonating it in their chest area. Once this connection occurs, the power level of the generator can be increased, which would automatically transfer the energy to the person. If the power level is moderate, the person may experience pain in the chest area, or their organs may vibrate. Increasing the power level will destroy their organs"

"Resonance occurs when a connection is made between a source and a target which are vibrating at the same frequency. When this happens, the materials become joined and are said to be resonating. Once resonance has been achieved, an energy exchange takes place on the surface of the membrane of each cell. If the source of energy is more powerful, it directly impacts the targeted material resulting in a biological reaction."

This happened to me with the generator. The generator was powered by a small DC motor that was spinning a magnet inside two copper coils wrapped around a iron core when this happens the magnetic fields induces a high voltage high frequency AC current in the wires and smart me became part of the circuit. The vibration of my body and the vibration or the iron core came in resonance. It doesn't have to be infrasonic the human body has its own vibrations. Like I said the generators output doubled until I fell to the ground and the wire pulled out of my hands luckily.

See resonance
http://www.newworldwar.org/sw.htm

 

[BrightSpace666]

Another weird thing that happened was I got into a physical fight with this guy much bigger than me. He hurt my brother and I just lost it and started punching him. It was fear mixed with anger and as I hit him I saw this same energy flash in my mind but it literally looked like lightning strikes LITTERLY!
We fought for a long time and I did not even get tired and fucked up his face completely blood was dripping on the whole floor.

Something similar happened but not as intense I build a Gerard Morin generator that produces high frequency high volts but low amps so it cannot kill anyway what happened was I was playing with this thing with live wires on each hand lol I know that is very dump but anyway I was still new. Somehow I got my hands on the live wires with both my hands and the electricity grabbed me. My fingers got pulled down on the wires I didn't burn but it held me there for some time. I was paralyzed so to speak. But what was strange was I felt the same energy(my energy)being pushed out of my body into the generator itsself. The generator doubled its speed and sounded completely abnormal. I was lucky I was standing on me feet and with a slow motion effect fell over backwards and the lives wires pulled out of my hands. I saw my life pass infront of my eyes and remember thinking I was going to die. Lol

Science and spirituality meet

"Resonance can be induced electromagnetically by an infrasonic pulse generator, which can establish a link, for instance, to a person’s inner organs by resonating it in their chest area. Once this connection occurs, the power level of the generator can be increased, which would automatically transfer the energy to the person. If the power level is moderate, the person may experience pain in the chest area, or their organs may vibrate. Increasing the power level will destroy their organs"

"Resonance occurs when a connection is made between a source and a target which are vibrating at the same frequency. When this happens, the materials become joined and are said to be resonating. Once resonance has been achieved, an energy exchange takes place on the surface of the membrane of each cell. If the source of energy is more powerful, it directly impacts the targeted material resulting in a biological reaction."

This happened to me with the generator. The generator was powered by a small DC motor that was spinning a magnet inside two copper coils wrapped around a iron core when this happens the magnetic fields induces a high voltage high frequency AC current in the wires and smart me became part of the circuit. The vibration of my body and the vibration or the iron core came in resonance. It doesn't have to be infrasonic the human body has its own vibrations. Like I said the generators output doubled until I fell to the ground and the wire pulled out of my hands luckily.

See resonance
http://www.newworldwar.org/sw.htm

What you have written is interesting and thought-provoking. You shouldn't have to experiment so hard on yourself .