Gear88 said:
Thinking vs Doing
I bet If I saw your chart it would be clear that you are heavily geared towards thinking/throat chakra activity
. You should look at your Sun and Mars, as this shows where you want to put all your efforts, for example. In this way, you could easily become bored of doing something that does not come naturally.
There is a big difference between thinking and doing, and this is shown when you describe sitting down and trying to meditate. Thinking is good for reflection, but not when you are trying to focus your neurons for psychic output.
At the same time, you are being way too hard on yourself, because the active pursuit of all JOS activities will yield growth in your psychic abilities, as well as growth in your mental capacities as well. Just because something is hard at the start does not mean it will be later.
Due to the enemy's corruption of this planet, that is why humans are opposed or distant to meditation, not because there is something better to do.
Living in a planet like this can lead to centuries of an imbalanced lifestyle, where it becomes harder for you to meditate since you are so unaccustomed to it.
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Others in our Civilization
No offense, but you should not listen to your family's opinion on these matters, nor should you listen to regular normies or Christians. Despite your difficulties with meditations, you are still here because you know this is the truth and way forward for mankind. In other words, steel your heart against people who have not experienced the fruits of Satanism or National Socialism, and build yourself up and become an example for them.
We are like the special forces on the battlefield. We have a very specific mission and we have to operate in an individualistic mindset. Everyone here acts in complete opposition to the Jewish mainstream, and we should not be swayed by peer pressure to do otherwise.
In time, our civilization and people will become open to Satanism, as the enemy is destroyed and Satan's name is restored, which is what our rituals do. Don't be dismayed by the current state of things. You can see how awfully the average person lives; this is proof that something needs to change. You are the actor that brings about this change.
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Meditation as essential, not "magic"
Some people are drawn to spirituality due to this magic pill mindset, and in their own way, they will learn to balance themselves. Having a Saturnine view is fine because it teaches you to be serious and look at the tangibility of what you are doing. However, it can be bad if you are limiting yourself from the benefits of this path, in a cynical manner.
Instead, you should view the act of improving our own soul as the basis of growth for any community. Viewing it through NatSoc lens, self-improvement of the soul serves as the most foundational method that a race improves itself, as it goes deeper than all other forms of training. In this way, it is actually critical for everyone to meditate, otherwise, our civilization will degenerate under the weight of its karma.
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Future efforts: aiding your weak points
You are not alone in the idea that meditation is hard for you. There are many people who feel like this. Meditation does take a lot of energy and effort, it is certainly not easy, especially at the start.
However, if you want to change this, or change anything else in your life, then you must cultivate your spiritual power, regardless of whether it is hard or not. In a similar manner, life demands that chores need to be done, and so on.
The lower chakras and associated planets rule the idea of doing without thinking (to put it very simply). That is why I mentioned the use of black, Saturn-like energy to enhance productivity.
Going even further,
you should use the associated energies specifically to permanently upgrade the ease at which you meditate. Coming from a high-air background, I too like to talk and think too much. I have spent tons of effort specifically upgrading my ability to be more productive in areas other than typing and thinking.
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Specific solutions: Energy
The Sun and Mars rule your energy, motivation, and drive.
You should use a Sowilo working to permanently enhance your drive to meditate. This will make you feel a healthy, even joyous urge to continue working, just as you naturally can with theorizing.
If you want a better appreciation of Sowilo, read this: https://runesecrets.com/rune-meanings/sowilo
Saturn and Taurus rule discipline and consistency to never give up.
You should use a Nauthiz working to permanently enhance your discipline and consistency with your meditations. This will make you able to remove any distractions, disregard when you may feel bad, and continue meditating no matter what (because you know you have to for success).
If you want a better appreciation of Nauthiz, read this: https://runesecrets.com/rune-meanings/nauthiz
Now, you may be thinking, this is great, but
what about how I currently feel? This is where you use short-term solutions, such as invoking earth energy and programming to NOW give you a feeling of discipline with your work (such as for a few hours, or even 1 hour).
In place of Sowilo, you can breathe in white-gold and program that you NOW have the will to do your work.
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Specific Solutions: Yoga
Lastly, if meditation itself is harder for you, then I highly advise you to place more of an emphasis on yoga and pranayama, which will help you develop the necessary spiritual strength to pull off a larger Sowilo or Nauthiz working.
Yoga and pranayama are much easier to do, and beyond that, give immediate physical benefits that should make you feel happy and healthy. Putting a lot of effort here can serve as a means of getting around your current obstacles.
Yoga link
Foundational Breath
Alternate Nostril (balancing)
Breath of Fire (increase fire energy and drive)
Taking everything all together, you simply need to hold out and continue meditating until you can make it more bearable for yourself.
Alternative to Sowilo and Nauthiz, you can also use Ansuz or Munka to free yourself, removing any obstacles to consistent advancement.
Hope this helps, feel free to respond if further clarifications are needed.