Alt123 said:
I see. Do I understand correctly that you are urging me to allocate more time to understand even the subtle nuances of my behaviour, no matter how inconsequential?
In a sense yes, there must be balance however, it is important to eliminate ignorance about yourself. Start out with the large parts of your nature after you have worked out the ignorance of the large parts of your nature, move to the smaller parts.
An easy way to figure out where to start is to monitor your own speech and thoughts, write down anything you say or think for an entire day which involves self-ignorance.
Alt123 said:
When it comes to choices that affect me, I give them an immense amount of thought, probably more than most people would ever consider. I've actually started to realise a while ago that sometimes I simply think too much and that it distracts from actually doing anything productive, but fortunately meditation has proven to be a more powerful tool in self-reflection than just logical thought, which helps to save a lot of time in understanding myself more deeply. Even my GD said to me a few months ago: "instead of spending so much time worrying, spend that time focusing on your studies, and then everything will be fine."
However, when it comes down to it I still try to understand the decisions I make very deeply, as I always want to make absolutely sure I'm always doing the right thing.
This is why balance must be present, thinking can be a good servant to a bad master, or a good servant to a good master. It all depends on how you, the master, direct it. Over-thinking will lead to nothing but problems, under-thinking will lead to nothing but problems as well.
As for your tendency to overthink, you have recognized that, just make sure you haven't replaced it with a tendency to under-think. The only replacing crack with cocaine, sure they may look different but they are near identical.
Alt123 said:
Deliberately missing the point of your metaphor did not negatively affect me in any way, and it helped you realise how you can be more precise in your wording. As such, unless I am missing something (for example, you might hypothetically have experienced it as inconvenient that you had to reiterate, although it didn't seem to me like you minded too much), it was not a bad thing that I responded so literally.
I didn't mind, also, that is not what I am talking about, I didn't mind that you missed the point, the issue I had was when you use language which allowed for the cycle of self-ignorance to continue to take place. Thoth said "breath is life" and this is true in the physical realm, as well as the mental, not just the spiritual. When you say something it creates a synapse in your neural network, then, the more you repeat such phrase, it grows stronger and stronger, the brain changes it's physical structure to suit it's environment through neural plasticity, this is something well known and understood by science.
On the mental side, every time you say something you change the structure of your internal reality, by that I mean it changes the structure of how you see the outside world, the combination of the two above are why affirmations work so well for people, not to mention, you have experienced changing the structure of your mind in a past life because you wanted to be a woman if you remember. You know that these things are very real and happen. What you did was instant and as such it is easy to track it from before and after, however, these things I am talking about take place over a very long span of time, as such, they are harder to track and can slip by unnoticed, growing until it's near impossible to escape them.
Alt123 said:
Do you believe that giving thought to every single action one takes, no matter how inconsequential, is an efficient use of one's time and focus? Or did you not mean that one needs to be conscious about their every action, but rather that one should understand their every habit? I don't fully comprehend your point yet, although I am curious about it, so I hope that it's fine to ask you to elaborate.
I believe it is imperative for one to know themselves. You do not have give thought to every single action you take but you should
know why you take every single action. You not only need to understand your every habit, but you should also understand how your habits are formed and structured so that you may deconstruct bad ones and construct new ones(Atomic Habits - James Clear is a great book for this).
You could sum up everything I believe in regards to knowing yourself in a single phrase. I believe in
balance. Part of balance is accepting once self, this is needing for the Kundalini. Now, tell me, how can one accept themselves without knowing themselves? That which is above is the same as that which is below(As above, so below). Balance is something that needs to be achieved in all areas of life. And it is
impossible to obtain balance of something you don't understand. Sure you can use SaTaNaMa to restore balance to your energies and that's great, however that's not what I am talking about. I am referring to balance of self, a deep balance which can only be derived from self understanding.
Alt123 said:
I would provide you with further interpretations of what I think you may have meant so that you can give me feedback, but now I'm too afraid to tell you any thoughts I have that I have not fully ascertained, and I cannot ascertain it without feedback, so I'll refrain from speculating and leave it to you to explain it further.
As I said, when speaking to others you must have ignorance about them. It is completely understandable that you wouldn't understand what I think, or what I am saying,
you are not me and as such it's find to have ignorance about me. My issue comes from people accepting ignorance about
themselves.
Alt123 said:
By the way, have you received my email?
The email provider for hitler.rocks has been having some issues over the past few days. I haven't been receiving any emails unfortunately. I just checked and it looks like my email is all fucked up, I sent a test email and it vanished into the void, how wonderful. I made a new email for communication from a much more reliable host. Please email me here instead.
[email protected]
I have been keeping an eye out for a few days for an email from you so, believe me when I tell you that I was shocked to see I received nothing. I had assumed you decided that emailing me wasn't worth the risk and accepting that. I am glad that my assertion was incorrect however. I look forward to your emails