Tsubaki Kayerkoshi
New member
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2014
- Messages
- 33
alright, im not exactly sure what this is, but something tells me that
what im about to describe is something big regarding spirituality (i
hate to exaggerate but oh well), anyhow ive written below whats
started happening recently, i believe started last week or the one
before, or what (again, my sense of time might be weird) felt like it.
ok, some of this has been going on a while, but anyways... the list is
below, this is whats been happening for what felt like a few weeks,
and now i feel like its getting a little... weird... here it is:
*frequent feelings of inner peace, bliss, etc... everything related
here (this happens on a daily basis for me, by the way... i cant
remember the last time i had a full day without any of these feelings
at all being extremely dominant in my everyday life), which also
affects my behavior too in that its rare im not happy or feel any of
the above, sometimes these feelings cause me to laugh also, at
somethings that the average person wouldn't laugh at and so forth.
*occasional bright flashes out of nowhere; i can be sitting in my
astral temple which is very dark and dimly let, or be anywhere thats
pitch dark with no screen in front of my face, and this will happen
(frequency here is moderate, but seems more common at night).
*random negative thoughts that have nothing to do with my current
activities/work, etc that literally come out of nowhere (this was
frequent earlier this year, most notably sometime in october, but has
lightened up significantly in recent weeks/days).
*random jerks/twitches (commonly after a sudden energy burst i feel,
but not always following such, this is occasional regarding frequency)
the above listed is what i can remember most, i believe insomnia has
also occurred at least a couple times, but i haven't had that happen
enough to know for sure if its linked to what i strongly believe to be
advanced stages of meditation here, so i will leave that bit alone for
now...
as for one other thing thats happened on a number of occasions, i do
recall another thing thats a bit hard to describe that i know happened
to Kai Purr in his/ her writings (sorry for the slash there, i feel
kinda embarrassed not knowing that so i apologize... .<), which also
happened to me during a meditation session... i cant recall exactly
what id been doing regarding the exercise, but i do remember having a
very awkward feeling at the time and this also came out of nowhere
(like almost everything else listed here.... i am also feeling it at
the moment, talk about strange...), i had this kinda freakish feeling
at the time, it literally felt like something had slithered out of
somewhere on my spine and slowly crawled up my back, then i felt it
sink back in somewhere above where it had crawled out. i couldn't
touch it, couldn't see it; but the feeling was felt quite physical
even though it was spiritual/astral. i kinda freaked out a bit here,
but of course i contained myself and proceeded with my program here as
best i could (this felt so physical and freakish it was almost
impossible to miss or completely ignore).
other than the above, the only other thing i didn't write here is the
fact people in my house can scream and shout at each other or at me, i
will maintain full and complete control regardless of the environment
and so forth. i live in a xtian home, with a sister who is older than
me (legally, i am only 21 and the youngest of my siblings who are all
xtians as well) with two kids that visit here frequently and her
children often dont get along, things escalate toi far and so forth
and she and my xtian parents scold the kids for misbehaving, the kid
yells back at times (they are both under 9 years, very young) and
things get very loud and noisy when this happens, i remain completely
unaffected even if im in the presence of this (this is also gradually
becoming more frequent with each meditation session... its beginning
to manifest in me everyday).
last but not least, the only negative emotion i seem to have (if at
all) is what the average person would call "heartbreak". this is also
rare, especially given im psychically open and aware enough to detect
negative or vampiric relationships with little or no effort. i can
simply sit down somewhere on my own and just go into a mild or medium
trance and the rest of the job is cake from here. as such, its rare
any relationship of a malignant nature gets far with me or escalates
otherwise to the point where i grow jealous and attack the offender
and see that the price is paid (this has caused some people in my life
to meet with utter disaster: one of my relatives had to get stitches
on his knee one or two days following the offense, all i did was sit
there and visualize him with a grey aura and from here my emotions
just naturally vented themselves, i go completely unscathed all the
time).
the only things that provoke/agitate me in nearly all cases is people
doing the above (rare, as i said myself and also notice in my life),
but what gives me the urge to fight back most of all is anything
hostile towards Father Satan, Mother Lilith, or any of the gods of
Hell. i also get unspeakably disgusted seeing or hearing any
xtian/jewish trash and so forth, this also makes me internally hostile
and aggressive, in which case i almost always act on by attacking the
enemy directly in absolute FEARLESSNESS, hatred, and full-blown
hostility (i often act on this using the 72-name RTR, but sometimes
use other astral means such as direct energy ripping and then convert
it and program it to empower myself. *NOTE: i know damn well thats
obviously dangerous, but i did that recently and went completely
unscathed. i strongly suggest using other methods of attacking for
newer Satanists or anyone with less life force. i have been on power
meditations for several months HARDCORE; thats why i was able to do
this without being harmed by it. for newer people, please be aware the
enemy's energy is VERY nasty and an obviously strong soul is necessary
to hit them directly like this without being affected by it. if you
aren't strong enough, the aftermath of this can obviously be
staggering given the malignant nature they are).
*CAUTION: the following may be very offensive to non-whites, i
apologize i dont know how to "hide" the text so to speak so this
warning is the best i can do, im not very computer savvy so idk how to
do that sort of thing... my apologies to staff/moderators for this .<
lastly (and finally, im very sorry how lengthy this message is im
trying my best here), i am also finding it extremely difficult to near
impossible for me to approach non-whites, i get very internally wary
and/or hostile and oftentimes will try to leave the area whenever
possible. im having difficulty understanding my internal hostility
here, but nonetheless this happens everytime i catch them in
sight.... i often distance myself as best i can without making my
feelings too obvious or looking like a complete dunce or making a
scene otherwise, this is tough for me but i still manage to go
unnoticed most of the time (i still wonder how... but i also know i
use the ether element to help conceal myself and reduce my chances of
being noticed. i can easily invoke this element anytime at will, as i
know by heart how it feels on me when i do this and furthermore, i
seem to draw it in like a magnet, i can spend little time here and
will be booming with it very quickly, then i just "encase" myself with
it as you would with white light to keep people away).
if anyone who had enough time to read this may have any intel so to
speak on the general gist of what im experiencing here spiritually, i
would much appreciate that. i did look on the main website about
advanced meditation but felt as though not everything here was
answered, i am also aware that experiences vary among people so thats
another thing thats had me bickering so to speak... if anyone has any
information here on what im experiencing spiritually, i would love
some feedback. my personal experiences with advanced meditation here
also seem quite similar to much of what is in written in Kai Purr's
pdf writings, i read through it to investigate my experiences and find
own rather similar but feel im still lacking sufficient info to know
for certain whats going on here.
thank you to all who understand and have the time to help me out here.
my apologies for the extensiveness here.
what im about to describe is something big regarding spirituality (i
hate to exaggerate but oh well), anyhow ive written below whats
started happening recently, i believe started last week or the one
before, or what (again, my sense of time might be weird) felt like it.
ok, some of this has been going on a while, but anyways... the list is
below, this is whats been happening for what felt like a few weeks,
and now i feel like its getting a little... weird... here it is:
*frequent feelings of inner peace, bliss, etc... everything related
here (this happens on a daily basis for me, by the way... i cant
remember the last time i had a full day without any of these feelings
at all being extremely dominant in my everyday life), which also
affects my behavior too in that its rare im not happy or feel any of
the above, sometimes these feelings cause me to laugh also, at
somethings that the average person wouldn't laugh at and so forth.
*occasional bright flashes out of nowhere; i can be sitting in my
astral temple which is very dark and dimly let, or be anywhere thats
pitch dark with no screen in front of my face, and this will happen
(frequency here is moderate, but seems more common at night).
*random negative thoughts that have nothing to do with my current
activities/work, etc that literally come out of nowhere (this was
frequent earlier this year, most notably sometime in october, but has
lightened up significantly in recent weeks/days).
*random jerks/twitches (commonly after a sudden energy burst i feel,
but not always following such, this is occasional regarding frequency)
the above listed is what i can remember most, i believe insomnia has
also occurred at least a couple times, but i haven't had that happen
enough to know for sure if its linked to what i strongly believe to be
advanced stages of meditation here, so i will leave that bit alone for
now...
as for one other thing thats happened on a number of occasions, i do
recall another thing thats a bit hard to describe that i know happened
to Kai Purr in his/ her writings (sorry for the slash there, i feel
kinda embarrassed not knowing that so i apologize... .<), which also
happened to me during a meditation session... i cant recall exactly
what id been doing regarding the exercise, but i do remember having a
very awkward feeling at the time and this also came out of nowhere
(like almost everything else listed here.... i am also feeling it at
the moment, talk about strange...), i had this kinda freakish feeling
at the time, it literally felt like something had slithered out of
somewhere on my spine and slowly crawled up my back, then i felt it
sink back in somewhere above where it had crawled out. i couldn't
touch it, couldn't see it; but the feeling was felt quite physical
even though it was spiritual/astral. i kinda freaked out a bit here,
but of course i contained myself and proceeded with my program here as
best i could (this felt so physical and freakish it was almost
impossible to miss or completely ignore).
other than the above, the only other thing i didn't write here is the
fact people in my house can scream and shout at each other or at me, i
will maintain full and complete control regardless of the environment
and so forth. i live in a xtian home, with a sister who is older than
me (legally, i am only 21 and the youngest of my siblings who are all
xtians as well) with two kids that visit here frequently and her
children often dont get along, things escalate toi far and so forth
and she and my xtian parents scold the kids for misbehaving, the kid
yells back at times (they are both under 9 years, very young) and
things get very loud and noisy when this happens, i remain completely
unaffected even if im in the presence of this (this is also gradually
becoming more frequent with each meditation session... its beginning
to manifest in me everyday).
last but not least, the only negative emotion i seem to have (if at
all) is what the average person would call "heartbreak". this is also
rare, especially given im psychically open and aware enough to detect
negative or vampiric relationships with little or no effort. i can
simply sit down somewhere on my own and just go into a mild or medium
trance and the rest of the job is cake from here. as such, its rare
any relationship of a malignant nature gets far with me or escalates
otherwise to the point where i grow jealous and attack the offender
and see that the price is paid (this has caused some people in my life
to meet with utter disaster: one of my relatives had to get stitches
on his knee one or two days following the offense, all i did was sit
there and visualize him with a grey aura and from here my emotions
just naturally vented themselves, i go completely unscathed all the
time).
the only things that provoke/agitate me in nearly all cases is people
doing the above (rare, as i said myself and also notice in my life),
but what gives me the urge to fight back most of all is anything
hostile towards Father Satan, Mother Lilith, or any of the gods of
Hell. i also get unspeakably disgusted seeing or hearing any
xtian/jewish trash and so forth, this also makes me internally hostile
and aggressive, in which case i almost always act on by attacking the
enemy directly in absolute FEARLESSNESS, hatred, and full-blown
hostility (i often act on this using the 72-name RTR, but sometimes
use other astral means such as direct energy ripping and then convert
it and program it to empower myself. *NOTE: i know damn well thats
obviously dangerous, but i did that recently and went completely
unscathed. i strongly suggest using other methods of attacking for
newer Satanists or anyone with less life force. i have been on power
meditations for several months HARDCORE; thats why i was able to do
this without being harmed by it. for newer people, please be aware the
enemy's energy is VERY nasty and an obviously strong soul is necessary
to hit them directly like this without being affected by it. if you
aren't strong enough, the aftermath of this can obviously be
staggering given the malignant nature they are).
*CAUTION: the following may be very offensive to non-whites, i
apologize i dont know how to "hide" the text so to speak so this
warning is the best i can do, im not very computer savvy so idk how to
do that sort of thing... my apologies to staff/moderators for this .<
lastly (and finally, im very sorry how lengthy this message is im
trying my best here), i am also finding it extremely difficult to near
impossible for me to approach non-whites, i get very internally wary
and/or hostile and oftentimes will try to leave the area whenever
possible. im having difficulty understanding my internal hostility
here, but nonetheless this happens everytime i catch them in
sight.... i often distance myself as best i can without making my
feelings too obvious or looking like a complete dunce or making a
scene otherwise, this is tough for me but i still manage to go
unnoticed most of the time (i still wonder how... but i also know i
use the ether element to help conceal myself and reduce my chances of
being noticed. i can easily invoke this element anytime at will, as i
know by heart how it feels on me when i do this and furthermore, i
seem to draw it in like a magnet, i can spend little time here and
will be booming with it very quickly, then i just "encase" myself with
it as you would with white light to keep people away).
if anyone who had enough time to read this may have any intel so to
speak on the general gist of what im experiencing here spiritually, i
would much appreciate that. i did look on the main website about
advanced meditation but felt as though not everything here was
answered, i am also aware that experiences vary among people so thats
another thing thats had me bickering so to speak... if anyone has any
information here on what im experiencing spiritually, i would love
some feedback. my personal experiences with advanced meditation here
also seem quite similar to much of what is in written in Kai Purr's
pdf writings, i read through it to investigate my experiences and find
own rather similar but feel im still lacking sufficient info to know
for certain whats going on here.
thank you to all who understand and have the time to help me out here.
my apologies for the extensiveness here.
