Want to share something, and advice

[JeraOpus]

Recently, someonething happened around where I live, and someone big of the area came to me and said why I do this, not meditation. It's something interactacting psycically only since there's little to no energy in my solar chakra, so most of my communications is through 6th chakra, and it's creating a reality around me that's buring a lot of tradition.

Today someone came to my house, I was half asleep, less than half. He asked my grandmother is this your grandson, she said he's sleeping. The guy said 'Ohhh' and left, someone from neighbour came and indirectly told me to not stay quite here 'Don't take it lightly'

They don't know what has happened with me, there's very little energy in my left side of body (This side of body commands, left hand) - I can oppose, but it will not end up good, since there's very little energy in my solar chakra, and every time energy movement is there my head hurts, a lot but front and back, i've gotten used to a lot of hurting, I was playing video game (Someone from game told me your slow) - I've noticed when there's certain movement in certain chakra and nadi, then my interaction with the game differs vastly, I can change my play style by focusing on chakra and going deep inside, but that's not what I should be talking here.


What happens with me is every time I raise my energy a new reality is created, and I've been engraned since childhood that I shouldn't take fights or oppse others by my father, now when I look at what's happening here, and what he taought me, I want to spit out saliva that's coming in my mouth, as if he 'my father' intentionally set me up for failure since childhood, someone i worked with in past did tell me 'If I follow what my father taught me, then I am doomed to fail' - But they don't know at this point I've very little energy in my solar, even if I rasie it there's a circuit that's incomplete (Energy doesn't flow fully there, even if chant 100x, it just doesn't, this is very complicated if re-explain it here) - My kundalini is partially awakened, but not fully, I can feel chakras opening, crawling sensation in them before they get hot, I attract insects, birds, dogs, cats, yes I can do telepathy with dogs, and cats (This i've learned being in psychic realm of 6th chakra, I can understand what the cat wants, cat goes away I want it to, as if i don't have to utter a word, I just look at it think of what i want, and it happens, It's as if whatever intent i get inside my brain comes to reality when the intent is made during energy flow in 6th, but my solar is inactive (Even if it gets active partially, I can't keep it up for very long, a switch of consciousness into different chakra and manipulating energy there discards the previous reality of previous chakra, and when I was to do masterbation, I got weak, there are girls who wants to get close to me, and do something for me, what If I won't be able to do anything in return, and people who I've enemies with starts to target them when I am weak (which I am, I can't even explain the reason of it others, so i stay quite, and depression of not being understood hits real hard, it's even more when you can't even explain to be understood, can you tell others energy doesn't flow In the (Middle of) - Left side of the body?

Due to this I cannot go out with somoene (specially girls, and not expect some duchebag to easily see my exploit, and then exploit me for it, what people've done in past against me is they tried to turn the people who were with me against me, it worked out in past, now when people around me knows then it's hard for them), I am a sadist, I've torn apart the tail of Lizard, burned, and electrocuted ants for my entertainment in my childhood, I know it makes me look like a bad person, but when i repressed that urge becasue of being good, or being seen good, people started looking it as a weakness (And my father helped those people indrectly).

What can I do here, try to go inside my body, and then try to play with kundalini, try to descend then raise the energy then make it ascend (I don't know how to do that atm) - There are many enemies i've made, somoene who'll really kill me, few days back at night I was laying on bed (lack of better words) near door, someone walked past as i've wanted to do something, when the person walked past my hands were raised and I cracked fingers, it happened subconsciouly and I felt a little fear afterwords 10-15% of everything I can feel at that time,

What Is the optimal solution here, people around me just don't leave me alone, and my grandfather uses me to control sitautions, he knows I am psyhically strong, but solar isn't strong (He doens't know the reason of it, but he can sense it, just like many others who can too).