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The struggle of self harm.

♪⛦Ivy⛦♪

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Sep 10, 2024
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I've been getting more and more urges to cut myself. Last night I was carving a piece of wood to add to my carving collection, and I sliced my thumb(Directly by the side of the nail.) this started the thought process. I recognize the feeling and for a moment, I missed it. I have been clean from S-H for about 5 days now. I don't know what I should do.
 
I've been getting more and more urges to cut myself. Last night I was carving a piece of wood to add to my carving collection, and I sliced my thumb(Directly by the side of the nail.) this started the thought process. I recognize the feeling and for a moment, I missed it. I have been clean from S-H for about 5 days now. I don't know what I should do.

You're writing in the teenage section, so you're writing these things about your life condition while you're still very young. This seriously moves me to compassion and makes me want to really want to help you as best I can. But I need to know things first so I can do that.

Usually the things we do when we want to hurt ourselves are never without reason. Even when you have an uncontrolled addiction to something negative, it is always due to a deeper reason. You don't eat a ton of chocolate cake a day because you "feel like it," you have to search for the reason that really drives you to do it.

So, for the next few days, I would like you to try to think hard about this: why do you cut yourself? What drives you to do it? I would like you to give me a reasoned answer and not the first thing that comes to your mind. You don't cut yourself just for the sake of it. There is a reason for it. If we find the reason we can solve the reason. Whether you solve just the symptom to stop cutting yourself -- that doesn't interest me. Let's work on the reason. Think about it, please and then write it to me as a reply to this topic. I thank you. Don't worry about it. We will work this out well. :)
 
Here is my advice, although I may be misinterpreting what you are saying. Please tell me you are not conflating emotions with self harm. When you say you miss doing this to yourself, it sounds as though there is some sort of satisfaction gained from it.

I'm sure you're aware, but harming yourself is not the proper way to express your emotions. Is there any trauma you have bottled up inside? Or perhaps recent struggles with depression or anxiety? There are better ways to handle these situations.

I would recommend starting by healing the emotional body and reading the article "On Suicide" by HP. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to open up about this, I hope these resources are helpful and provide guidance for you. Remember that you're not alone in this.

 
You're writing in the teenage section, so you're writing these things about your life condition while you're still very young. This seriously moves me to compassion and makes me want to really want to help you as best I can. But I need to know things first so I can do that.

Usually the things we do when we want to hurt ourselves are never without reason. Even when you have an uncontrolled addiction to something negative, it is always due to a deeper reason. You don't eat a ton of chocolate cake a day because you "feel like it," you have to search for the reason that really drives you to do it.

So, for the next few days, I would like you to try to think hard about this: why do you cut yourself? What drives you to do it? I would like you to give me a reasoned answer and not the first thing that comes to your mind. You don't cut yourself just for the sake of it. There is a reason for it. If we find the reason we can solve the reason. Whether you solve just the symptom to stop cutting yourself -- that doesn't interest me. Let's work on the reason. Think about it, please and then write it to me as a reply to this topic. I thank you. Don't worry about it. We will work this out well. :)
I guess I just have a feeling of passion and, for a moment, happiness. I don't usually feel that way at all, so cutting is, to me, my only way to it.😕
 
I guess I just have a feeling of passion and, for a moment, happiness. I don't usually feel that way at all, so cutting is, to me, my only way to it.😕

I used to date a girl who cut herself. She was telling me how this "world" works. And yes, what you tell me fits the description. Can I recommend some things to you?

ON THE SPIRITUAL SIDE:

The first thing is to put beautiful joy your soul, this is most easily achieved with mantras like SANANDA


You should heal your emotional body though, so that it finds itself facilitated to feel emotions:


And in general, if your soul is strong (that is, if you have energy in your soul), you will be more inclined to be joyful and ALIVE:


At a level that slightly more advanced, there are Runes that can be used to be well and happy. I am referring to the WUNJO Rune:


To finish, of course it is written on the meditations page, but I would like to reiterate the importance of these three things for your problem:

1) Soul cleansing (fundamental, tuning into depressed energies increases this condition of yours. Cleanse yourself)

2) Chakra work (will give vital energy to your soul)

3) Yoga Hatha: essential to connect the vitality of the soul to the physical body on which you cut yourself to feel alive. Yoga really means union of soul and body.

extra) I would try the EZ chakra spinning also. Increasing the level of chakra spinning to make you faster and more vibrant can help you elevate. Maybe the Mer Ka Ba meditation can be long, but at least the chakra spinning can elevate you well. Or even the advanced one if you feel you are not overwhelmed by the energy. It may be difficult visualization in the beginning, write to me here if you would like to try these meditations but you notice that you experience some difficulty.

BUT all this may not be enough to solve the situation. Although it is a good potential starting point, it is not active in the material plane (you need to transfer your spiritual successes regarding your situation to the plane of concrete things as well: physical reality).

Before I can figure out what I can advise you from a physical standpoint, however, I need to know more. Tell me about your life *MINTAINING A HIGH LEVEL OF PERSONAL PRIVACY! I need to know something about how you live, what you do during the day, what you like and what you do for fun, a little history in short. I would also like to understand in the material plane where you have the gaps. So we can fill in those as well. Be as specific as you can, but only 1) as far as you feel like it, without forcing yourself 2) Always maintain privacy, don't put personal information.

I don't want to give generic solutions to people like you. Children and teenagers are SACRED to me. I will not let a young person throw away his life in suffering, I want to give you specific solutions for you and not generic ones. Let me know more about the context of your condition so we can keep working on it.... if you like :)

Thank you so much for your attention!!! :D
 
I've been getting more and more urges to cut myself. Last night I was carving a piece of wood to add to my carving collection, and I sliced my thumb(Directly by the side of the nail.) this started the thought process. I recognize the feeling and for a moment, I missed it. I have been clean from S-H for about 5 days now. I don't know what I should do.
As a person who also had many issues with self-harm in the past, I feel you. I know the urges and I know how hard it is to not fall back into the cycle. I recommend praying to Satya and asking for guidance, He always listens and he has helped me so much with my depression and self-harm. Meditations (specifically void meditation) has helped me the most to distract myself from any negative thoughts or ideas. Fill your day with things that take your mind off anything negative, meditate more, workout more, work on yourself so your brain eventually rules out any thoughts of hurt or negative.

I myself can still get an urge or an idea of SH but I always think about the lasting impact it will have. Yes it might feel good and I miss the feeling, but will I be happy with the scar later on? Is it really worth it to be ashamed of it for the rest of your life? No. Satya is here to guide us and help us become the best versions of ourselves. No matter how hurt and strong the negative energy is, He is always there to guide us. I have many scars on my body, but that does not mean I need more. While asking for Satya is wonderful, make sure to tell yourself that you don't need it. What do you get from self-harm? Nothing but pleasured pain for a bit, but then guilt of the scars and disappointment of your close friends and family.

Meditation and Prayer has helped me be clean now for 6 months, and I really hope that you can heal both emotionally and physically so your urges slowly subside. I would also recommend removing all sharp objects from yourself for a period of time so no thoughts come in your head. I hope you the greatest recovery from all your pain as no SS deserves to hurt. Please reach out to Satya and meditate on good energy. Best of luck Sister <3

HAIL SATYA!!!
 
I just have a feeling of passion and, for a moment, happiness. I don't usually feel that way at all, so cutting is, to me, my only way to it.
It is normal to seek these feelings that are positive for us. However, cutting yourself is not the way to reach this; it is a very personal form of disrespecting your own self. The passion and happiness you are looking for can be found elsewhere. If you enjoy wood carving, then focus on making it a hobby, for example, carving the Sigils of the Gods or their Names on a wooden roind, or something else.

I know how the whole process works. You need to deconstruct these mental patterns that lead you to self-harm because you have associated positive emotions with a negative act, creating an incorrect energetic pathway. You need to change this path. Whenever you feel the urge to cut yourself, practice breathing exercises combined with void meditation on the color black, which enhances discipline. With time and consistency, this will lead you to detach from these actions and will redirect you toward more positive acts for yourself.

Another addition you may consider to make is to enter a trance state every day and repeat about forty times something like: "In all the most positive and healthy ways for me, I am completely free from any impulse or inclination to harm myself". This for an entire cycle of forty days.

When after some time, you will look at your body and, if the scars you caused yourself are still visible, you will regret causing them. So remember that the body is the sacred Temple where our Soul resides, and it has to be treated accordingly, with care and respect.
 
I used to date a girl who cut herself. She was telling me how this "world" works. And yes, what you tell me fits the description. Can I recommend some things to you?

ON THE SPIRITUAL SIDE:

The first thing is to put beautiful joy your soul, this is most easily achieved with mantras like SANANDA


You should heal your emotional body though, so that it finds itself facilitated to feel emotions:


And in general, if your soul is strong (that is, if you have energy in your soul), you will be more inclined to be joyful and ALIVE:


At a level that slightly more advanced, there are Runes that can be used to be well and happy. I am referring to the WUNJO Rune:


To finish, of course it is written on the meditations page, but I would like to reiterate the importance of these three things for your problem:

1) Soul cleansing (fundamental, tuning into depressed energies increases this condition of yours. Cleanse yourself)

2) Chakra work (will give vital energy to your soul)

3) Yoga Hatha: essential to connect the vitality of the soul to the physical body on which you cut yourself to feel alive. Yoga really means union of soul and body.

extra) I would try the EZ chakra spinning also. Increasing the level of chakra spinning to make you faster and more vibrant can help you elevate. Maybe the Mer Ka Ba meditation can be long, but at least the chakra spinning can elevate you well. Or even the advanced one if you feel you are not overwhelmed by the energy. It may be difficult visualization in the beginning, write to me here if you would like to try these meditations but you notice that you experience some difficulty.

BUT all this may not be enough to solve the situation. Although it is a good potential starting point, it is not active in the material plane (you need to transfer your spiritual successes regarding your situation to the plane of concrete things as well: physical reality).

Before I can figure out what I can advise you from a physical standpoint, however, I need to know more. Tell me about your life *MINTAINING A HIGH LEVEL OF PERSONAL PRIVACY! I need to know something about how you live, what you do during the day, what you like and what you do for fun, a little history in short. I would also like to understand in the material plane where you have the gaps. So we can fill in those as well. Be as specific as you can, but only 1) as far as you feel like it, without forcing yourself 2) Always maintain privacy, don't put personal information.

I don't want to give generic solutions to people like you. Children and teenagers are SACRED to me. I will not let a young person throw away his life in suffering, I want to give you specific solutions for you and not generic ones. Let me know more about the context of your condition so we can keep working on it.... if you like :)

Thank you so much for your attention!!! :D
To answer the little history part or you response,

I was living with my grandmother at the time, I was about seven or eight when I got sexually assaulted. :/ When I was ten, I got my first girlfriend. we were pretty good together. stayed together for about a year or so, she broke up with me since I was moving away. I lived with my grandma for 10 1/2 years. I moved to Minnesota and started 5th grade and made a friend named Melanie.
I used to date a girl who cut herself. She was telling me how this "world" works. And yes, what you tell me fits the description. Can I recommend some things to you?

ON THE SPIRITUAL SIDE:

The first thing is to put beautiful joy your soul, this is most easily achieved with mantras like SANANDA


You should heal your emotional body though, so that it finds itself facilitated to feel emotions:


And in general, if your soul is strong (that is, if you have energy in your soul), you will be more inclined to be joyful and ALIVE:


At a level that slightly more advanced, there are Runes that can be used to be well and happy. I am referring to the WUNJO Rune:


To finish, of course it is written on the meditations page, but I would like to reiterate the importance of these three things for your problem:

1) Soul cleansing (fundamental, tuning into depressed energies increases this condition of yours. Cleanse yourself)

2) Chakra work (will give vital energy to your soul)

3) Yoga Hatha: essential to connect the vitality of the soul to the physical body on which you cut yourself to feel alive. Yoga really means union of soul and body.

extra) I would try the EZ chakra spinning also. Increasing the level of chakra spinning to make you faster and more vibrant can help you elevate. Maybe the Mer Ka Ba meditation can be long, but at least the chakra spinning can elevate you well. Or even the advanced one if you feel you are not overwhelmed by the energy. It may be difficult visualization in the beginning, write to me here if you would like to try these meditations but you notice that you experience some difficulty.

BUT all this may not be enough to solve the situation. Although it is a good potential starting point, it is not active in the material plane (you need to transfer your spiritual successes regarding your situation to the plane of concrete things as well: physical reality).

Before I can figure out what I can advise you from a physical standpoint, however, I need to know more. Tell me about your life *MINTAINING A HIGH LEVEL OF PERSONAL PRIVACY! I need to know something about how you live, what you do during the day, what you like and what you do for fun, a little history in short. I would also like to understand in the material plane where you have the gaps. So we can fill in those as well. Be as specific as you can, but only 1) as far as you feel like it, without forcing yourself 2) Always maintain privacy, don't put personal information.

I don't want to give generic solutions to people like you. Children and teenagers are SACRED to me. I will not let a young person throw away his life in suffering, I want to give you specific solutions for you and not generic ones. Let me know more about the context of your condition so we can keep working on it.... if you like :)

Thank you so much for your attention!!! :D
I lived with my grandmother for around 10 years and moved out to Minnesota when I was about a month away from my 11th birthday. I was sexually assaulted when I was 7 or 8 by my nana's roommate she was living with at the time. he was mid MAYBE early 50's(still very wrong). After I moved out to Minnesota, I started 5th grade at one of the nearby schools and within a few weeks I made a friend named Melanie. She was one of my closest friends up until the near end of 6th grade. One of my friends Tayra, introduced me to one of their friends. Their name was Shaylin. I became very, very close to them to the point where others were asking us if we were dating. Melanie quit being my friend and left me off with a warning that they weren't a good person. I didn't believe her. I kept hanging out with Shaylin, again, and again. Melanie switched school after 6th grade.
 
DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THE PREVIOUS REPLY I POSTED(accidental)

Sorry, I forgot that I wrote a bit before I closed and then I accidentally submitted it.
I lived with my grandmother for around 10 years and moved out to Minnesota when I was about a month away from my 11th birthday. I was sexually assaulted when I was 7 or 8 by my nana's roommate she was living with at the time. he was mid MAYBE early 50's(still very wrong). After I moved out to Minnesota, I started 5th grade at one of the nearby schools and within a few weeks I made a friend named Melanie. She was one of my closest friends up until the near end of 6th grade. One of my friends Tayra, introduced me to one of their friends. Their name was Shaylin. I became very, very close to them to the point where others were asking us if we were dating. Melanie quit being my friend and left me off with a warning that they weren't a good person. I didn't believe her. I kept hanging out with Shaylin, again, and again. Melanie switched school after 6th grade.
(Read what's above first-)

This is when Middle school got hard. real hard. I started losing friends due to Shaylin. She would make comments like 'hey, I like ur feet.' or 'im gonna lick ur toes' or whatever.
 
To answer the little history part or you response

Okay, I got it. I read both of the two comments you wrote. Effectively yes, the problem of self-harm is indeed related to sexual relationships that abused you. It is understandable, these things empty you because they make you feel that you are no longer in control of yourself and your relationships with others. It makes sense of your situation. Now, however, we have to get out of it, don't we? There will be much more good in the world if you are happy again and brought into healthy relationships.

Every kind of problem we experience has two planes in which it manifests itself. Which are directly interconnected. That is, spiritual and material. Working on both is necessary. So we have to focus primarily on resolving this trauma in your soul that is hurting you. And then activate this spiritual resolution also in practical life on the material level.

First of all, the fact that you were abused by someone is almost never something that starts and ends there. Especially if it has manifested itself several times over time. So it tends to happen on a spiritual level that abusers parasitize your soul. At the level of the chakras. It can be solved, I invite you to take a look here:

However, once you have taken care to fix the problem in your soul, you need to manifest your resolution in your material life. That is, if you cut spiritual ties with an abused subject, you should do so in practical facts as well. It includes not letting him into your life anymore. Keep him at a distance from your existence and joy, etc. He should not be present, and I don't mean from the standpoint of physical presence, I mean on a level where you should not include the person in your normal conduct of daily thoughts and routines. And if they try to force their way back in, kick them out. That can help:

Screenshot_20250201_072927_Chrome.jpg

From: https://joyofsatan.org/AURA.html

The second point is the sexual factor. The way they abused you is related to sex. This factor literally causes sexual problems (second chakra). Usually you underestimate it because you give little importance to sex in these cases, but literally underestimating sexual needs leads to serious psychological problems. It is also one of the lowest chakras the Sacral chakra so it is one of the most grounded and therefore "basic to exist." It is important that you resolve sexual problems that you may have accumulated:

When you do this Yoga sequence, try to do it every day in a row. Spiritual progress is permanently recorded in 40-day sets. Which can be repeated as needed. When you perform the savasana posture at the end of the session, you can say your short affirmation; straight to the point in the present positive tense. Here is a short guide:

Don't forget to pray to your Guardian Demon. He will support you:



As soon as you read this response of mine, if you want, please let me know what you think. We can really continue to better understand how to adjust any resolutions to solve this in the most correct way. Let me know, okay? :)

Thank you for having explained the thing better. I'm glad I was able to help you more precisely. :D
 
Okay, I got it. I read both of the two comments you wrote. Effectively yes, the problem of self-harm is indeed related to sexual relationships that abused you. It is understandable, these things empty you because they make you feel that you are no longer in control of yourself and your relationships with others. It makes sense of your situation. Now, however, we have to get out of it, don't we? There will be much more good in the world if you are happy again and brought into healthy relationships.

Every kind of problem we experience has two planes in which it manifests itself. Which are directly interconnected. That is, spiritual and material. Working on both is necessary. So we have to focus primarily on resolving this trauma in your soul that is hurting you. And then activate this spiritual resolution also in practical life on the material level.

First of all, the fact that you were abused by someone is almost never something that starts and ends there. Especially if it has manifested itself several times over time. So it tends to happen on a spiritual level that abusers parasitize your soul. At the level of the chakras. It can be solved, I invite you to take a look here:

However, once you have taken care to fix the problem in your soul, you need to manifest your resolution in your material life. That is, if you cut spiritual ties with an abused subject, you should do so in practical facts as well. It includes not letting him into your life anymore. Keep him at a distance from your existence and joy, etc. He should not be present, and I don't mean from the standpoint of physical presence, I mean on a level where you should not include the person in your normal conduct of daily thoughts and routines. And if they try to force their way back in, kick them out. That can help:

View attachment 5661
From: https://joyofsatan.org/AURA.html

The second point is the sexual factor. The way they abused you is related to sex. This factor literally causes sexual problems (second chakra). Usually you underestimate it because you give little importance to sex in these cases, but literally underestimating sexual needs leads to serious psychological problems. It is also one of the lowest chakras the Sacral chakra so it is one of the most grounded and therefore "basic to exist." It is important that you resolve sexual problems that you may have accumulated:

When you do this Yoga sequence, try to do it every day in a row. Spiritual progress is permanently recorded in 40-day sets. Which can be repeated as needed. When you perform the savasana posture at the end of the session, you can say your short affirmation; straight to the point in the present positive tense. Here is a short guide:

Don't forget to pray to your Guardian Demon. He will support you:



As soon as you read this response of mine, if you want, please let me know what you think. We can really continue to better understand how to adjust any resolutions to solve this in the most correct way. Let me know, okay? :)

Thank you for having explained the thing better. I'm glad I was able to help you more precisely. :D
You just made me cry. :cry:

No one has ever told me anything like that. Not even my therapist or psychiatrist.



I'm glad I'm here.







thank you.
 
I've been getting more and more urges to cut myself. Last night I was carving a piece of wood to add to my carving collection, and I sliced my thumb(Directly by the side of the nail.) this started the thought process. I recognize the feeling and for a moment, I missed it. I have been clean from S-H for about 5 days now. I don't know what I should do.

Any addictions are solved through transmuting the underlying need, not just restriction alone. Restriction from the activity gives you a chance to find the replacement, but without this replacement activity, you are left with the underlying need that builds into an urge for expression.

You had indicated sexual assault, so it is likely you have underlying, strong negative opinions about yourself due to this. Cutting yourself could be a way to exert control over yourself in a way that is comfortable, because it is easy, but also "aligns" with your perception that your body or self can be defaced, just like what happened in your original trauma.

The problem is that by doing this, this then continues the cycle of a negative self-perception, because you are aware, at least subconsciously, that self-harming is not right, yet you are only doing it for the pleasure response. This is a "cheap" action because it is done in place of perhaps yoga or other healthy ways to control yourself. Any of these healthier options won't give as strong of a stimulus, but that is where you can retrain your mind.

If you were to do workings to resolve this urge, it is likely you will experience situations that teach and help you realize that you 1) don't need to cut, that it is not as useful or nice as you once thought, and 2) there are more fulfilling alternatives available, if you give your soul the time to heal, as well as give yourself more positive self talk, which you likely are not doing because you believe you do not deserve it.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Shaitan

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