HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:
For those who do not know, the Archive is out history of Joy of Satan posts from 2009 and the emergence of the Yahoo Groups.
Just a reminder while this is correct around the time circa 2008. Yahoo groups existed since around before the founding of JoS. At least since 2002 I never deep dived the original JoS yahoo. In fact I posted on the JoS forums said something silly by all accounts but do recall being and posting in 2003 unfortunately when I went back never found the post. I seem to discover JoS was taken down and recreated. And then sometime around the time the Russification of Yahoo occurred with the Russian Kremlin being posted on the yahoo banner. Maxine TRIED to remove it and replace it with the JoS original but for some strange reason it never changed and yahoo kept it that way stating it's their property to keep it that way.
While some might know some history of the Black Rose Group (mid-90s maybe? nearing '00) after the BRG closed down, they just shuttered down. Maxine went on with the yahoo groups to form a backbone at least a continuation and then finally sometime early 2002 developed the site. If you peer into the past of 2002 it was a mess, probably a heavy amount of errors from the template maybe one missed letter or closer sorta like some text errors people have when bold or quoting and your quote becomes messed up.
But by nearing 2003 sometime before it. The 2002 website became modern JoS. What JoS is now a Web 1.0 Golden Age of Internet when it was more free than it is now. Now a days there might be A LOT but there is always that nagging loss of the freedom of the internet and the hyper politicization and polarization of the internet.
It's much like Tim Pool goes. They had World of Warcraft everyone loved the original they added expansions the game changed people changed. They said hey a classic redux server of first expansion game not the same as before. The magick of the Web 1.0 was really lost by the youtube/iphone revolution. Sorta how the golden age of gaming was basically Doom('92/'93) till 2005, same for the golden age of FPS and golden age of RTS. Reminds me of a video of Chromehounds a game built to be 10 years ahead of it's time, I always wanted to play it but never got involved with internet in that manner and never had a Xbox 360.
The reality is yahoo's complete shuttering of all these back areas is a huge blow. First yahoo answers, then the back door of yahoo with all the cool occult areas and games and searching of communities, then geocities(does it really kill you to let geocities exist it's basically 3.9GBs of data does that really harm your company), and then yahoo forums.
Real pathetic yahoo. They tried to be the original search engine the great the google and ended up faceplanting. Hell if it isn't for all the shit yahoo is involved as a mainstream search engine and the fact how lucrative datamining is and whatnot and the business World. Yahoo probably would have collapsed and NOT be one of the top 15 search engines but certainly always behind google. This isn't to support google but there is a reason why the company made it big.
I recall back the yahoo commercials from what '95/'96 and man it's like I'm sure as hell sitting as a kid hearing people in other households go WTF is a search engine, what is yahoo, a computer, internet? that thing that makes noises, dialup, modem?
It's like the old BBS's of the post-Vietnam war era nearing the 80s when arpanet and other military nets where being developed or can hook up a old computer to a CRT TV and use a BBS system through the phone lines.
Funny how times have changed.
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:
Is Hammerofthegods666, former HP Jake Carlson?
Just before yahoo forums collapsed I had a few emails coming in from the subscribed yahoo forums. One of the only times I would receive yahoo forum information?
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:
Do you mind if I ask you a weird off-topic question but is on-topic with yahoo forums and posting there?
Back in my school days going to middle and high school. Around 2003 maybe nearing 2005 I believe around after summer. Fall season going to middle. I kinda regret not telling a good friend about JoS waited until February 2004. He would have had that confidence and agreed especially with the WW2 knowledge while I look back in retrospect and state my Axification/Nazification was 1997 when I was 7 watching History Channel(I know, I know (((History Channel))), I mean every time non-stop for years I grew up on TV basically I think I continued the WW2 of History Channel till probably like 2005 or so when memeing started coming in without people en mass knowing memes like for example I think history channel completely stopped WW2 by late '04-'05 some rare points at times.
So NS since 1997 without anyone knowing all internalized. While I did pick up a killers edge thinking about killing people, murder, warfare, guns, bombs, planes, anything to do with WW2, school shootings etc.etc. I think looking back now it's as young as I can maybe even my birth might have triggered a defensive/offensive person. Instead of crying out or maybe coming out happy some babies are born happy. I was quiet.
For example my former next door neighbor who became my friend was like a year or two older. He became my friend because I wanted to kill him. He said something to me and I replied back "I'm gonna tie you to this fence, pour chlorine on you and light you on fire". He's like I gotta be this kid's friend.
Anyways to make a long story shorter without my usual verbiage.
I recall a prominent member a while back stating. Even if you did not meditate while in a trance even if you are telling us you spend the entire time thinking, processing, hearing music, i.e. normal beta wave person, normal thinking person like the 95% of humanity out there. Even if you did a meditation like that you still DID something and DID affect something in this case yourself.
So the person in question told me even if I did XYZ ritual or breathing exercise or magick it still affects. So I did ex: a square the Sun square it still affects reality you did SOMETHING by the powers of your soul and the effects of tools you affected or did something. Not very strongly like a trance or focused endevour but something happened.
I never got this question answered in Yahoo forums. In fact I think yahoo forums wise most people never mentioned health problems with mental health or issues. It seems later we had more people come in mention stuff and others finding us and saying that.
Anyways, as I've mentioned I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and psychosis I take pills to avoid a fugue state that landed me in the hospital 4 times.
But back in 2003 or 2004 maybe 2005 I posted a serious question.
2003/'04/'05: Can someone explain to me why this happened
I've never gotten a straight answer.
I began during the school year of high school doing chakra spinning to the speed of light and MerKaBa.
For example in Middle School I did chakra spinning to speed of light and I didn't mess with MerKaBa. Funny in middle school I freaked out one time during lunch and was feeling crazy. I felt weird. In the bus coming to school besides my usual stomach aches and lack of breakfast I was feeling very odd.
But then in '04 nearing '05 or '05 itself. I did MerKaBa. One time frustrated by WTF to do and being pissed off I cannot meditate nor do basic stuff. Just prior years earlier in '99/'00 I ran into lucid dreaming and Astral projection. So I was wanting to do "fun" occult stuff.
Well funny enough nearing these two time periods. I got a flash of superstition as I call them now a days. And decided let me just do MerKaBa.
I did it, I didn't feel nothing at all. Absolutely no trance, no void, no nothing. I followed it through did it.
When sometime around lunch time I freaked out. A friend of mines offered a chocolate milk to me I drank it. I thought I had been given a spiked milk with LSD. It just flashed through my mind. After returning home and redoing chakra spinning to speed of light and MerKaBa. I had a peculiar incident going home. After that I probably didn't touch meditation till probably after I graduated from High School after summer school since I did poorly in math.
I was in the bus. I was nearing home I placed my head on the bus window I had a moment of daydreaming in a strong way. I visualized myself snorting cocaine off the asshole of a hooker. I got high from it, m friend said something I looked up I laughed fell to my side blacked out for 2-5 seconds. Woke up completely under the influence. In fact I was freaked out and didn't return to normal till 3:30 nearing 4 PM when I returned to normal.
How can Chakra Spinning to the speed of light and MerKaBa these two meditations I did without any affirmation, literally I didn't even use affirmations and visualization till 2010-2011 when I got once again back to meditation nearing my mental illness time period. And if that is enough I never even bothered cleaning or protecting or even a basic small schedule of meditation. Hell not even mindfulness or whatever the buddhist teach that cultivates sensory feedback to entertain the mind and do the most basic primitive meditation. Not out right 100% void but some people have stated mindfulness changed their lives and turned off their thoughts. Some people have stated I did mindfulness it worked a little too well and now I can't think or play music in my head or anything my mind is a total blank. I can speak inside internal voice but it's very weird.
How can Chakra spinning to the speed of light and MerKaBa induce a drug high from simply visualizing in a day dream?
Did I move to another dimension? Are there dimensions where thought/daydream become reality?
I hope that last one doesn't sound retarded. Like you think your snorting coke and you get high. I know sounds retarded no being of higher power would bother with meditation if it did silly things to you like that.
But is it possible my mental illness was incubated sometime earlier as early as middle school past the pre-teen into the teenage area?
After all I'm a male person, underweight by medical standards currently even back then for example weighing 95lbs at the end of high school. Plus as a male mental disorders compared to women is almost like a 4:1-6:1 ratio.
What happened to me back there? Did I short circuit my soul? Did something happen to me that is a progenitor mental illness?
Was I never supposed to be involved with meditation? Or if involved to be lead properly by a strict, proper schedule to form a discipline and be motivated to do it at all costs hence discipline?
I asked this question before as a standalone question but I never got an answer to it. That was probably nearing 2018 or so on these forums.
What happened to me in Middle School 2003 and high school circa '04-'05 the following year or two with these three incidents?