Testimonial - My struggle with anger

[Shadow_666]

First I want to say something to one of the most important persons in this world namely High Priest Hooded Cobra 666, I want to say thanks for your Existence! No words can express how thankful I am for everything you and High Priestess Maxine Dietrich has done! I will walk this path forever and do what I can to repay you back. You have truly giving me hope and saved my soul and life.

I am a proud Aryan Viking male from a Nordic country, more than 50 years old and have a wonderful little boy also an Aryan that love Odin and Thor. We have a nice house and I thank Father Satan for that. Every other week I have my Lovely Son.

In 2019 I seriously started to investigate Spirituality so I decided I must quit all drugs, in september I stopped using alcohol, not a single drop since then, I have drinking to much alcohol since I was maybe 18 or 20 years old. In november my big brother past away after long time ailments, at the same time I was lucky to found JoS and Dedicated after 3 weeks. In december I stopped using moist powder tobacco and I am totally Free from that.

On top of the problems I have, one of my Parents got alzheimer and the other parkinson. I hope they manage to live this full year. Before I found JoS I know that when my Father leave this Earth I will be totally devastated. Now when I know about afterlife and everything, all this is so much easier and I have no fear of death as I had before.

For more than 3 years I have never missed my meditations, not for a day, But very often I had to drastically reduce the number of vibrations, repetitions and stop doing some extra meditations that wasn't 100% needed. That is because soon after I start walking this path I get some severe anger bursts that affected my lovely son, wife and people around me.

I remember when I sat at work in front of a computer and my very nice and friendly colleague was standing behind me and talking to another guy, suddenly I started to feel this immense anger boiling inside and I started thinking "Shut the fuck up" and much more. I thought it was very strange because I wasn't really angry at all but something inside me was boiling with anger.

The first 1 1/2 year I was doing Hatha, Kunda, AOP, Cleaning, chakra opening and spinning, Alternate Nostrils, RTR's and I also tried different balancing meditations for my anger (AUM for five minutes, Satanama for ten minutes, extra Hatha, Lydias Base Yoga and so on). Each balancing meditation only lessened the anger for some weeks then the anger come back and I had to find another meditation to counteract the anger.

Then after 1 1/2 year, some months after my divorce (my marriage was very bad before I dedicated also, but the anger where a tipping point) I had to almost permanently doing less repetitions and number of vibrations (for example Kundalini Yoga only 9 repetitions instead of maybe 40 - 80 I almost never done 108 repetitions) to get more control of my anger.

Only for short periods I have tried to do more meditations or more repetitions but I always needed to fall back. I have done various purifications every Witches Esbat since High Priest Hooded Cobra 666 gave us that knowledge. Every time, I get incredible tired, but the latest rounds I did not feel tired. I don't know if that means I am purer or some lack of focus.

After struggling with this inner war at many various ways, it is finally much better but not totally resolved.
A big difference when triggered earlier from being a total climacteric bitch for 24 hours, and now maybe angry some minutes to maybe 15 - 30 minutes and sometimes I even directly can put the anger to rest.

I can always feel the boiling anger or what it is in the crown or top of my head before I start to get angry it feels like my hair is raising (gooseflesh or what it is called?) or something. If I don't contain it in the first seconds it will be to late.

In most of my meditations I have changed "a positive and healthy way" to "a balanced, positive and healthy way".
And most affirmations is done 5 times because 5 is a number of balance.

Something that helped me a bit is to have everything done (cleaning the house, all shopping for food) before my son comes for the week so i don't have so many things I must do. Because if I get stressed I get angry much easier. It also helps to dress a bit colder because my anger comes easier if I'm hot as well.

I believe I'm older than most people in the forums so I don't have as many years left as a regular young user. But I still have my highest priorities and hope to raise my Kundalini so I can advance faster and complete Magnum Opus in this life, I will do whatever it takes, and I gave that promise to My Lovely Son that I will Not die, and I Always Honour My Promises!

I hope someone can find this useful...

Shadow_666

 

[serpentwalker666]

First I want to say something to one of the most important persons in this world namely High Priest Hooded Cobra 666, I want to say thanks for your Existence! No words can express how thankful I am for everything you and High Priestess Maxine Dietrich has done! I will walk this path forever and do what I can to repay you back. You have truly giving me hope and saved my soul and life.

I am a proud Aryan Viking male from a Nordic country, more than 50 years old and have a wonderful little boy also an Aryan that love Odin and Thor. We have a nice house and I thank Father Satan for that. Every other week I have my Lovely Son.

In 2019 I seriously started to investigate Spirituality so I decided I must quit all drugs, in september I stopped using alcohol, not a single drop since then, I have drinking to much alcohol since I was maybe 18 or 20 years old. In november my big brother past away after long time ailments, at the same time I was lucky to found JoS and Dedicated after 3 weeks. In december I stopped using moist powder tobacco and I am totally Free from that.

On top of the problems I have, one of my Parents got alzheimer and the other parkinson. I hope they manage to live this full year. Before I found JoS I know that when my Father leave this Earth I will be totally devastated. Now when I know about afterlife and everything, all this is so much easier and I have no fear of death as I had before.

For more than 3 years I have never missed my meditations, not for a day, But very often I had to drastically reduce the number of vibrations, repetitions and stop doing some extra meditations that wasn't 100% needed. That is because soon after I start walking this path I get some severe anger bursts that affected my lovely son, wife and people around me.

I remember when I sat at work in front of a computer and my very nice and friendly colleague was standing behind me and talking to another guy, suddenly I started to feel this immense anger boiling inside and I started thinking "Shut the fuck up" and much more. I thought it was very strange because I wasn't really angry at all but something inside me was boiling with anger.

The first 1 1/2 year I was doing Hatha, Kunda, AOP, Cleaning, chakra opening and spinning, Alternate Nostrils, RTR's and I also tried different balancing meditations for my anger (AUM for five minutes, Satanama for ten minutes, extra Hatha, Lydias Base Yoga and so on). Each balancing meditation only lessened the anger for some weeks then the anger come back and I had to find another meditation to counteract the anger.

Then after 1 1/2 year, some months after my divorce (my marriage was very bad before I dedicated also, but the anger where a tipping point) I had to almost permanently doing less repetitions and number of vibrations (for example Kundalini Yoga only 9 repetitions instead of maybe 40 - 80 I almost never done 108 repetitions) to get more control of my anger.

Only for short periods I have tried to do more meditations or more repetitions but I always needed to fall back. I have done various purifications every Witches Esbat since High Priest Hooded Cobra 666 gave us that knowledge. Every time, I get incredible tired, but the latest rounds I did not feel tired. I don't know if that means I am purer or some lack of focus.

After struggling with this inner war at many various ways, it is finally much better but not totally resolved.
A big difference when triggered earlier from being a total climacteric bitch for 24 hours, and now maybe angry some minutes to maybe 15 - 30 minutes and sometimes I even directly can put the anger to rest.

I can always feel the boiling anger or what it is in the crown or top of my head before I start to get angry it feels like my hair is raising (gooseflesh or what it is called?) or something. If I don't contain it in the first seconds it will be to late.

In most of my meditations I have changed "a positive and healthy way" to "a balanced, positive and healthy way".
And most affirmations is done 5 times because 5 is a number of balance.

Something that helped me a bit is to have everything done (cleaning the house, all shopping for food) before my son comes for the week so i don't have so many things I must do. Because if I get stressed I get angry much easier. It also helps to dress a bit colder because my anger comes easier if I'm hot as well.

I believe I'm older than most people in the forums so I don't have as many years left as a regular young user. But I still have my highest priorities and hope to raise my Kundalini so I can advance faster and complete Magnum Opus in this life, I will do whatever it takes, and I gave that promise to My Lovely Son that I will Not die, and I Always Honour My Promises!

I hope someone can find this useful...

Shadow_666

Welcome!

From what I understand this anger is a serious obstacle for you to overcome. It can be done, don't worry.

You will want to look into doing some workings for it when you get a chance.

Something like this for example.

SATANAS ×111

"I am overcoming and resolving anger problems in a safe and positive way. I am expressing my anger in constructive, healthy ways permanently."

You could also use runes, or other mantras you perfer, this is just an example I'm making here, with affirmations that are a reference. You can definitely apply whatever is necessary to overcome this.

Refer to the SS Calender -
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=80481

Realise as well you are not alone in this. You should look into anger management and possibly good therapy for managing this anger since it's such a big obstacle and issue in your life.

Apply both physical and spiritual methods to this. That way you can make consistent good progress. One approach will accent the other.

Congratulations on walking away from those self destructive habits. The gods are smiling upon you I'm sure.

In regards to deep deisre to complete the magnum opus in this life. Make sure you are consistent as possible in your advancement and that you try to be as close as possible to Satan and the Gods.

Meditate on them and they will guide you as this is a long delicate process.

Good luck, and may you and your son be blessed, and Satan's providence in your life continue to be so bright and apparent.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

...

Thank you for sharing your story.

Everything about ourselves, including our expressions of anger or other emotions, is shown in our astrology chart. It is seen in the soul, measured by the tool of astrology.

Whether you can specifically identify it on a chart is not the important part, however. What is important is that you recognize and address your problems with the appropriate solution. In this case, you are having anger which is unregulated or destructive.

Your options include the use Munka and remove this negative karma, such that your anger is perfected. This would be a freeing working. Alternatively, on a waxing moon, you can use Berkano or Isa to balance your anger, as these have a calming influence. This could be combined with Nauthiz, which represents regulation and discipline. Doing this for 80-120 days is how you permanently resolve this problem.

As always, continue to deep clean, especially as you do larger workings on yourself, but also in a general sense. It is very important that we totally purify ourselves. To prevent tiredness, raise energy afterwards and program it to recuperate your soul.

As for your both yourself and your parents, I would highly suggest looking into TCM or other holistic medicine systems. While full Alzheimer's disease in an elderly patient is too difficult to totally resolve, other symptoms like pain can be addressed.

Hope this helps.

 

[SShiva_fr]

Welcome!

There are some "old" SS here!
I'm going into my 50's slowly in a few years.

I've had a lot of anger issues myself and have resolved a lot of them, although there are still some outbursts. And I try not to give that anger too much importance. I acknowledge its existence and if I can, I impose on myself a kind of silence for a while, so as not to express things that would go too far and that I would regret once the anger had subsided, and to see if the reasons for this anger still exist 7 to 10 days later.

I have and continue to do a lot of cleansing, a lot of freeing the soul. I regularly ask Father Satan and GD to guide me in the choice of work to be done to improve and heal. And this takes time. You have to be patient with yourself.

I also had the impression the first year of dedication, that I was still very angry. It was because I was clearing up a lot of dirt when I started the big cleanings and the first soul liberations.

Courage Brother, you are lucid on yourself and honest, that will allow you to progress constantly !

 

[HPS Lydia]

Other members here gave you great advice. I just wanted to say congrats on giving up the drugs and alcohol

Learning to control anger takes effort and practice. You'll get the hang of it soon enough

 

[Karnonnos [JG]]

I just wanted to say, if you feel exhausted, frazzled and highly stressed, vibrate SATANAS x5 or x10 in long form [the style on the SATANAS mp3] with 'the energies of SATANAS are raising my energies in a healthy, safe, protective and balanced way'.

That's why SATANAS is used to raise our energy before we do a group ritual (since just vibrating it can make you operate on a higher level of energy), but specifically affirming it to do so can really help with the problems you talked about. It is such an insanely powerful mantra that it can be a life-saver for this type of thing. The AYKK ONG yoga mantra can help here too but it's a little different and more subtle.

Vibrating SATANAS into each Chakra (one Chakra per letter) can also energize.

 

[Hp. Hoodedcobra666]

First I want to say something to one of the most important persons in this world namely High Priest Hooded Cobra 666, I want to say thanks for your Existence! No words can express how thankful I am for everything you and High Priestess Maxine Dietrich has done! I will walk this path forever and do what I can to repay you back. You have truly giving me hope and saved my soul and life.

I am a proud Aryan Viking male from a Nordic country, more than 50 years old and have a wonderful little boy also an Aryan that love Odin and Thor. We have a nice house and I thank Father Satan for that. Every other week I have my Lovely Son.
...

I can only give you my salutations and tell you that you are worthy of respect for your attainment in walking the path and also being a better father to your soul by progressing in this way.

Thanks for the kind words and you can be sure I'll keep doing the best I can too.

 

[Artifergolem]

I used to have a lot of anger issues. Terrible anger that boiled up from the very bottom of myself.

The soul is like a sponge. It absorbs a lot if emotions, especially emotion we can't express or let out. It absorbs the emotions of those around us. If your soul is old, you will have so much to let go and let out.

Find a way to deal constructively with the anger. Art. Poetry. Punching bags. RTR. You can imagine that anger burning the enemy... might help a bit.

Peace brother, and good journey to you.

 

[Shadow_666]

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First I must say that's it a shame I couldn't write a testimonial regarding the alcohol and nicotine instead.
It's because I had nearly no struggle at all to conquer that. To quit alcohol, I just decided that I must quit, and then I just waited maybe some weeks until I felt that NOW is the right moment to quit and after that just quit.
I did exactly the same with nicotine. Actually I had just before the right moment appeared just bought allot of boxes of snuff, maybe 20 or 30 so I just had to sell it to a big loss.
I didn't want my boy to see me drunk and I wanted to go all in for Spirituality was my 2 biggest motivational things.

Thank you ALL for your kind words and for your suggestions and help.

Many times I have read everything you ALL wrote and decided that I will do the Munka freeing working to perfect the anger, do you have a perfect affirmation for that JG Blitzkreig?

Also I will try SATANAS later if I continue to feel exhausted etc.

Very best hails to my big Family
Shadow_666