GoldenxChild1
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2021
- Messages
- 1,643
Okay so I really detest admitting flaws in front of my brothers and sisters yet we are a family and this is what we are here for.
I'll make this quick yet detailed. I have been an SS since 2017-18 but didn't start meditation until somewhere in 2019 and I lacked consistency. It wasn't until late 2020 that I truly started to get disciplined. Anyhow, during 2018-2019-2020 I was into Cocaine, Methamphetamine, Cannabis, Cigarettes, and I was on Anti-Depressants. It was some of the worst times in my life in Mind, Body and Soul. Only through Satan was I able to get a taste of fresh air; I have been clean from stimulants from half of 2020 until now. As for cannabis I have been clean since around February 2021 until now. The only thing that I still struggle with is cigarettes as funny as that is. I do not buy them anymore but my girls parents are smokers and I always smoke when I am around them. I just went 3 weeks with no smoking yet folded last night when they offered it to me.
Given the above, I have suffered the lasting effects. My physical health as taken it's toll, especially my lungs. I have made great strides with the afflictions of my Mind and Soul yet still have work to do. I didn't realize just how much damage these substances do to your moral compass, I have done things out of my true character that I only feel regret and guilt for. I only realized the depravity of myself since advancing, meditation has brought up colossal sea monsters and sometimes I feel small in comparison to them. I understand that my childhood played a part as well. Lady Agares has really been there for me and reassuring me that I haven't been forsaken.
I do hatha yoga twice a day along with pranayama, meditation, and RTR's. I think I need to root out the issues more specifically though.
So I guess I just wanted to share a little about myself to my family in Satan and hope that I can get some advice and maybe a working or two.
HAIL SATAN
HAIL AGARES
I'll make this quick yet detailed. I have been an SS since 2017-18 but didn't start meditation until somewhere in 2019 and I lacked consistency. It wasn't until late 2020 that I truly started to get disciplined. Anyhow, during 2018-2019-2020 I was into Cocaine, Methamphetamine, Cannabis, Cigarettes, and I was on Anti-Depressants. It was some of the worst times in my life in Mind, Body and Soul. Only through Satan was I able to get a taste of fresh air; I have been clean from stimulants from half of 2020 until now. As for cannabis I have been clean since around February 2021 until now. The only thing that I still struggle with is cigarettes as funny as that is. I do not buy them anymore but my girls parents are smokers and I always smoke when I am around them. I just went 3 weeks with no smoking yet folded last night when they offered it to me.
Given the above, I have suffered the lasting effects. My physical health as taken it's toll, especially my lungs. I have made great strides with the afflictions of my Mind and Soul yet still have work to do. I didn't realize just how much damage these substances do to your moral compass, I have done things out of my true character that I only feel regret and guilt for. I only realized the depravity of myself since advancing, meditation has brought up colossal sea monsters and sometimes I feel small in comparison to them. I understand that my childhood played a part as well. Lady Agares has really been there for me and reassuring me that I haven't been forsaken.
I do hatha yoga twice a day along with pranayama, meditation, and RTR's. I think I need to root out the issues more specifically though.
So I guess I just wanted to share a little about myself to my family in Satan and hope that I can get some advice and maybe a working or two.
HAIL SATAN
HAIL AGARES