It happened when I was young and I had forgetten about it until I was much older as a trauma response. This person was never punished. I’m having a hard time being intimate (not sure if it is vaginismus or something like that) and I really want to have a healthy sexual life. I think I need to curse him, something along the lines of being crippled or dead, so I can find peace. Spells for revenge as well as healing would be very much appreciated.
I am always both sad and happy when I read similar messages. Sad for what happened (I share similar life experience, abuse and trauma, surfacing later in life), happy because I meet a person who has the will, power and strength to resist, live and oppose to sexual abuse to heal and break free.
So I really try to take care of this posts, for what I can and know, as a form of sustaining damaged people, who did not commit any fault, and nothing here is your fault, ever! Only people who unfortunately suffered this, can understand the impact it has on life. I try to be empathic.
Just stay strong, you will know there are dark days but, you are not alone, you are NOT responsible for anything that happened, and Satan is at your side for help. Everything is set for the best healing process.
Said this, I will relate my experience.
Punishing sexual abuser is not easy for me. I am working on it since years and I am getting some results, slowly, and with patience. The reason why black magick had few effect is that I needed to fix my feeling guilty, as my unconscious mind turned the responsibility of what happened to myself. So black magick is at risk of rebound, or failing (mine failed at first), or even damaging myself.
After fixing my guilt, things started to improve and my Runes started to have power against the abuser, I think I'll get him gone in a few years or hopefully months.
Another point is: first I needed to cut all ties, and detach chakra links with freeing the soul meditation. Because, an abuser forms strong links to the victim's souls and sucks energy as a vampire. When you curse and hit the abuser, he will "recharge" with your own energies, so you basically and partially fight against yourself. Cleaning guilt and severing links, will nullify or reduce this problem.
Then I have been able to start a spiritual fight, but I also supported this with physical actions (moving away, cutting relationship, therapy, etc.).
In any case, there IS a solution, if you are not yet able to channel black magick, I am sure your GD will drive you to the point of being able to.
Last, I found Uruz rune suits well for destroying male energies of the abuser, and I think also physically.
While for justice and punishment I'd use Tiwaz, or both together.
My 2 cents, hope this helps.