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Question #5118: fear of women (timidity); fear of sex; fear of love

AskSatanOperator

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I'm 30 years old, I'm a virgin and I'm afraid of women.

Today, my many months of magical work worked to arouse love and lust among women for me, I saw the result.

Recently, I have also developed serious communication skills (Mercury Square) in communicating with people, but it did not help me because I am a coward in front of women, as I saw today.

Today I was on the bus, for 40 whole minutes, a young, beautiful girl of 20 years old was clinging to me, she was very tightly pressed against my ass with her ass and breasts to my back, to my arm and to my shoulder, I felt her nipples.

I moved away from her, but she kept doing it. I was not comfortable in front of other people that I had a hard boner, I covered it with my backpack and tried to switch my thoughts and I managed to get the boner to sleep.

But this girl was snuggling up to me again and just beating her breasts against me, while pretending to others that she was texting someone on the phone.

Throughout the trip, she touched my ass, pressed her tits very tightly against me, at that moment I felt joy along with a sense of shame and even smiled.

But I tried hard to hide my smile from others, I had a boner the rest of the way and I thought I was going to cum.

Also, this girl was pressing her ass and her breasts so hard against me that I could feel her all over. She just wouldn't let me leave her, but I didn't want to.

She also pressed her skirt legs against my legs and rubbed her legs against my bare legs (I was wearing shorts). Then, when I stopped, it turned out that this girl lives in the next house, she ran out of the bus and walked slowly towards the house (multi-storey building), while she looked back (so that I would not disappear from sight) and winked at me with her eyes.

Since I am very tall and have long legs, I got closer and closer to her, but she seemed to speed up on purpose, deciding to tease me.

I tried to slow down to let her go, but she also slowed down. In the end, I came close to her (no matter how slowly I tried to walk) and I was very shy, so I walked past her like a complete sucker and a loser to my house without turning around. I really regret that I was scared or very shy and did not talk to her.

I would really, really like her to talk to me first, so that I would have a reason to start a conversation, but she didn't. I was very shy and afraid to talk to her, although I was very excited, I am very shy in front of women.

Despite the air conditioning on the bus, I was sweating all over, my butt sweats a lot when I'm nervous, and my sweat got my shorts wet, but that didn't stop this girl from groping my ass.

She saw that I was a very shy guy, I don't understand why she couldn't talk to me if I turned her on?

What's my problem, I'm already confused.
How can I be cured of my ailment?
How can I overcome the fear of dating a girl?

What would you do in my place to put this girl to bed?

I feel inner limitations in myself at this moment, how do I get rid of all inner limitations?

The scariest thing is that I don't even know where I got these restrictions from and why I'm such a coward :(

Help me solve my problem.

On the positive side, I saw the following:

1. I am still attractive to 20-year-old beautiful and sexy girls, so I have a chance to find myself a second half of the young ones;

2. My magical work on lust and love is working.
 
I'm 30 years old, I'm a virgin and I'm afraid of women.

Today, my many months of magical work worked to arouse love and lust among women for me, I saw the result.

Recently, I have also developed serious communication skills (Mercury Square) in communicating with people, but it did not help me because I am a coward in front of women, as I saw today.

Today I was on the bus, for 40 whole minutes, a young, beautiful girl of 20 years old was clinging to me, she was very tightly pressed against my ass with her ass and breasts to my back, to my arm and to my shoulder, I felt her nipples.

I moved away from her, but she kept doing it. I was not comfortable in front of other people that I had a hard boner, I covered it with my backpack and tried to switch my thoughts and I managed to get the boner to sleep.

But this girl was snuggling up to me again and just beating her breasts against me, while pretending to others that she was texting someone on the phone.

Throughout the trip, she touched my ass, pressed her tits very tightly against me, at that moment I felt joy along with a sense of shame and even smiled.

But I tried hard to hide my smile from others, I had a boner the rest of the way and I thought I was going to cum.

Also, this girl was pressing her ass and her breasts so hard against me that I could feel her all over. She just wouldn't let me leave her, but I didn't want to.

She also pressed her skirt legs against my legs and rubbed her legs against my bare legs (I was wearing shorts). Then, when I stopped, it turned out that this girl lives in the next house, she ran out of the bus and walked slowly towards the house (multi-storey building), while she looked back (so that I would not disappear from sight) and winked at me with her eyes.

Since I am very tall and have long legs, I got closer and closer to her, but she seemed to speed up on purpose, deciding to tease me.

I tried to slow down to let her go, but she also slowed down. In the end, I came close to her (no matter how slowly I tried to walk) and I was very shy, so I walked past her like a complete sucker and a loser to my house without turning around. I really regret that I was scared or very shy and did not talk to her.

I would really, really like her to talk to me first, so that I would have a reason to start a conversation, but she didn't. I was very shy and afraid to talk to her, although I was very excited, I am very shy in front of women.

Despite the air conditioning on the bus, I was sweating all over, my butt sweats a lot when I'm nervous, and my sweat got my shorts wet, but that didn't stop this girl from groping my ass.

She saw that I was a very shy guy, I don't understand why she couldn't talk to me if I turned her on?

What's my problem, I'm already confused.
How can I be cured of my ailment?
How can I overcome the fear of dating a girl?

What would you do in my place to put this girl to bed?

I feel inner limitations in myself at this moment, how do I get rid of all inner limitations?

The scariest thing is that I don't even know where I got these restrictions from and why I'm such a coward :(

Help me solve my problem.

On the positive side, I saw the following:

1. I am still attractive to 20-year-old beautiful and sexy girls, so I have a chance to find myself a second half of the young ones;

2. My magical work on lust and love is working.
Man, you need to get laid.
You do sound like a 30 year old virgin.

Please recognize that the way you are making a whole situation with a girl on the bus and describing it like she had her “ass” and “tits” on my back sound like a porno wet dream.

Calm the fuck down and have sex, it’s not that hard.

Also try to perceive women as women, I found your way of describing this oversexualized and repulsive honestly.

Women are not sex toys or pornstars. Please revise your approach and talk to women, talking to women and building friendships will fix this deprivation-drived mindset.
 
I need to say a few things, this story put such a smile on my face I'm not even joking what the fuck. So, uh, I loved the fanfic, I think you could have massive success with that niche writing and I encourage you to try it out. The amount of details you've blessed me with is so unnecessarily large that I'm crying bro. You could've said this girl in the bus was touchy with you and leave it at that but this was such a rollercoaster lmao. Anyway, back to the topic:
How can I be cured of my ailment?
How can I overcome the fear of dating a girl?

What would you do in my place to put this girl to bed?
Honestly, if a girl is so overtly sexual with you in public you don't need to do much to get her in bed, the bed could've easily been the bus at that point, and I'm sure you could've walked with her in her house without a word and I would have missed this masterpiece of a post. I recommend a Sun Square, it helps with confidence, which seems to be your main issue. I don't think you should expect women to talk first, and certainly not this girl, she did enough talking without saying a word, assuming this story is not hyperbole. Most of the time, we are supposed to do the talking as men. If you're afraid of sex for any reason, you may have some hangups that prevent you from seeing it as a natural and pleasurable activity, probably christian programming. It may also be a consequence of your lack of confidence. And as for fear of love, I'm not sure the situation you described can even resemble love, at least in my opinion. Venus Squares/Moon Squares are great for that sort of thing as far as I read.
Wish you luck bro, thanks for the laugh.
 
Analyze your Natal Chart in detail. You will find the Planetary positions and Conjunctions that could potentially create such complications for you.

Particularly, see what planets are in the 1st, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 9th and 11th Houses. What are the Rulers of these Houses. And also in what Zodiac Signs are these Houses. This will somehow let you know what exactly are the difficulties in your social and sexual spheres. Look at the positions of your Sun and Moon.

Work on strengthening the weak planets ruling the above mentioned Houses. Use Planetary Magic for this purpose. Also work on strengthening your Aura and expanding your Consciousness. A strong Aura and a strong Mind allow you to realize in Reality what you want, increase charisma, increase your Magical Influence on Reality. Among other things, you can use Color Magic and Sexual Magic.
 
It's all pointless, she is just a hoe that touches strangers in a bus, and most importantly she is a source of shame for your inner self.

After you had sex with this person, what will be next?
Nothing, all this hard work, and anxienty for 30 min of phisical pleasure. It's not worthy, you will be ashamed for falling to this.

These kind of girls should be cursed.
 
It's all pointless, she is just a hoe that touches strangers in a bus, and most importantly she is a source of shame for your inner self.

After you had sex with this person, what will be next?
Nothing, all this hard work, and anxienty for 30 min of phisical pleasure. It's not worthy, you will be ashamed for falling to this.

These kind of girls should be cursed.
She cause shame on you in pubblic, push her away next time, be respectfull towards yourself and stay aways from these hoes.

She is dirty and she needs to feel this truth, having a nice ass won't save her.

There are true women outhere, go for them.
 
A Mars square and/or a Sun square can help with self-confidence. But seriously you need to have a hard and long look at your chart and see what's the best approach overall.

The relationship with women in your life generally is related to what relationship you had with your mother as a child. Have a look at your Moon: her house and sign placement, her aspects, any conjunction/opposition to fixed stars (2 degree orb).

Do NOT post that information here. It's for your own self-reflection. Privacy is important, especially in these matters.
 
It's all pointless, she is just a hoe that touches strangers in a bus, and most importantly she is a source of shame for your inner self.

After you had sex with this person, what will be next?
Nothing, all this hard work, and anxienty for 30 min of phisical pleasure. It's not worthy, you will be ashamed for falling to this.

These kind of girls should be cursed.
The only correct opinion, gigabased.
 
Today, my many months of magical work worked to arouse love and lust among women for me, I saw the result.
According to what you describe, this girl popping out from nowhere with strange behavior is a good sign your magick worked, even if in apparently odd way. Or, did this happen not by coincidence to trigger some reactions in you ?


I felt joy along with a sense of shame and even smiled.
Yes, a women liked you. You have been found sexually attractive. Wasn't this you were looking for? There it is. You can do that!

But I tried hard to hide my smile from others, I had a boner the rest of the way and I thought I was going to cum.
Ok, so it seems you have a fear about what others may think of you in general.

Despite the air conditioning on the bus, I was sweating all over, my butt sweats a lot when I'm nervous, and my sweat got my shorts wet, but that didn't stop this girl from groping my ass.
It happened to me. This was due to a repressed feeling of fear due to childhood trauma. This is not to say you had a traumatic event, but maybe someone instilled in your mind fear of sex when you wear much younger and the mind more receptive.
This time, sex was very close to happen, you had a "skin" contact with a woman. So your deep emotions went in turmoil and sweating may be the consequence. It happened to me for completely different reasons, but the point is my unconscious mind recognized a situation like a potential danger as it recalled past events. It was not a dangerous situation. Next times, sweating weakened, until disappeared. My mind slowly learned that situation was not dangerous. Next time that something similar will happen, maybe you will feel less worried and less sweating?
I think this happened as a first step to overcome your fear.
 
It looks like some kind of trolling. Dude, why such detailed descriptions of how you get sexually aroused by some whore's ass? It doesn't look like something serious, you'd better write fanfiction on other forums. Have you taken a vow of celibacy and abstinence, or do you have problems with hypersexuality? Work on it
 
In my opinion this whole thing is pathetic and ridiculous.

You don't have to do a thousand jobs, squares, etc., for that, you don't even have to worry about it.

Wait, the Moon is at 30 degrees in Libra, it's 3 a.m., the Sun is perfectly aligned with Venus and Jupiter and a good fixed star.
Now I'm perfectly aligned with the east, and I can begin my magical operations, my 49-day square, where I will recite perfectly geometric mantras. In this way I will finally be able to fuck a girl.

That's exactly why you fail, you're doing a thousand weirdos things that actually do you no good.

But wait, I made 3 Venus squares, spent 147 days and 147 nights reciting mantras, and had minimal physical contact with a girl, Big Victory!!!

I am ready for the second step, another 294 days and maybe I can get a kiss on the cheek.

Bullshit, it's not rocket science.

What are you going to do after 1000 days, make a plan more articulate than a war attack to ask her name?

Are you going to wait for the right temperature of 20°C, and calculate the thousand coincidences where you can meet?

Bullshit, it's all about Self-Esteem and Testosterone, nothing more.
 
In my opinion this whole thing is pathetic and ridiculous.

You don't have to do a thousand jobs, squares, etc., for that, you don't even have to worry about it.

Wait, the Moon is at 30 degrees in Libra, it's 3 a.m., the Sun is perfectly aligned with Venus and Jupiter and a good fixed star.
Now I'm perfectly aligned with the east, and I can begin my magical operations, my 49-day square, where I will recite perfectly geometric mantras. In this way I will finally be able to fuck a girl.

That's exactly why you fail, you're doing a thousand weirdos things that actually do you no good.

But wait, I made 3 Venus squares, spent 147 days and 147 nights reciting mantras, and had minimal physical contact with a girl, Big Victory!!!

I am ready for the second step, another 294 days and maybe I can get a kiss on the cheek.

Bullshit, it's not rocket science.

What are you going to do after 1000 days, make a plan more articulate than a war attack to ask her name?

Are you going to wait for the right temperature of 20°C, and calculate the thousand coincidences where you can meet?

Bullshit, it's all about Self-Esteem and Testosterone, nothing more.
Planetary squares are not substitutes for the basics, but are used to refine your frequency, remove negative karma, etc....

If you don't have basics, 1,000 squares are of no use to you.

Concentrate on perfecting and enhancing your masculinity, and leave sex alone, that will come later and in any case is not the ultimate goal.
When you controll lust you will start to have standards, and you will only look for something worth your time.

Then masculinity and testosterone will run their course.
 
This girl should not have touched you like this, as it sounds like she pushed you outside your comfort zone. That being said, your comfort zone would naturally expand as you gain in experience with women, so this like a solar problem. The girl highlighted inner feelings of lack of confidence, but she did not actually create what existed prior, but she could have amplified them in that moment.

While Venus and Mercury rule their own aspects of communication and relationships with others, the Sun is the primary ruler of your self-confidence and ability to project yourself in general, but also in sexual ways. So a Sun Square or solar runes would be a better option. Also, do not think your Mercury Square is "not helping" because it still does something, but in its own way. You have to consider the impact of the solar qualities of your Sun and how this impacts your perception of this, though.

Also, let's be careful not to adopt an attitude of simply pushing away women and controlling ourselves, as this is more of a repressive attitude and not one that leads to success. Success comes from overcoming challenges. While this girl pushed you too far and this sounds like sexual assault, your ability to develop confidence would not come from simply shoving her away, but in achieving your desires with women in a general sense, such as a successful conversation or sexual interaction. Avoidance of this would only delay this.

Further, sexuality is important in life. Remember what the Clergy taught us: HPHC noted such interactions can lead to romance and families. HPS Maxine has written about sexual magic and not repressing sexuality. At its basis, the interaction of yin and yang, along with a resulting orgasm, is central to creation in occult terms, shown by Dagaz. In my opinion, that is why it can be so pleasurable, and this is something to cherish when it happens under the right circumstances, under your consent.

Be mindful of negative sexual partners, but also don't avoid this entirely, including if your feelings are projections of generalized hatred, which can be resolved through positive interaction.
 
Boo!
 
I wish this happen to me haha, I'm a attractive man and confident but this kind of porn never happened to me
 
This girl should not have touched you like this, as it sounds like she pushed you outside your comfort zone. That being said, your comfort zone would naturally expand as you gain in experience with women, so this like a solar problem. The girl highlighted inner feelings of lack of confidence, but she did not actually create what existed prior, but she could have amplified them in that moment.

While Venus and Mercury rule their own aspects of communication and relationships with others, the Sun is the primary ruler of your self-confidence and ability to project yourself in general, but also in sexual ways. So a Sun Square or solar runes would be a better option. Also, do not think your Mercury Square is "not helping" because it still does something, but in its own way. You have to consider the impact of the solar qualities of your Sun and how this impacts your perception of this, though.

Also, let's be careful not to adopt an attitude of simply pushing away women and controlling ourselves, as this is more of a repressive attitude and not one that leads to success. Success comes from overcoming challenges. While this girl pushed you too far and this sounds like sexual assault, your ability to develop confidence would not come from simply shoving her away, but in achieving your desires with women in a general sense, such as a successful conversation or sexual interaction. Avoidance of this would only delay this.

Further, sexuality is important in life. Remember what the Clergy taught us: HPHC noted such interactions can lead to romance and families. HPS Maxine has written about sexual magic and not repressing sexuality. At its basis, the interaction of yin and yang, along with a resulting orgasm, is central to creation in occult terms, shown by Dagaz. In my opinion, that is why it can be so pleasurable, and this is something to cherish when it happens under the right circumstances, under your consent.

Be mindful of negative sexual partners, but also don't avoid this entirely, including if your feelings are projections of generalized hatred, which can be resolved through positive interaction.

You have absolutely hit the spot, the Mercury Square seems useless to me, as if you were counting information from my aura :)

I run very fast (I once overtook a master of sports in short-distance running, although I am not an athlete), after the mercury square to improve my communication skills, my speed has become even more acute, I can move very fast, although I do not need it.

If I understand correctly, Mercury does not attract girls. If Mercury attracts girls, then what approximate affirmation of the Mercury Square can I use to attract girls?

How can the Square of the Sun be used to attract girls? (What should be the approximate affirmation?)
I grew up with a tyrant mother, as a child, when I objected to her and defended my point of view, she beat my hands and slapped me. Even now in adulthood, if she doesn't like that I'm doing something, she will convincingly convince me that my actions will make people laugh at me, or bad rumors that will harm me, or that I look like a fool, idiot, etc.

For some reason, my mother was always on the side of the teachers at school and in kindergartens and always believed them, not me, even when the guys offended me, and I hit back at them, I was always guilty, although I was always calm and never bullied, never bullied anyone, while all The dogs were hung on me. When, under pressure from my mother, I promised her that I would not get into fights, I was just stupidly beaten, while when I complained to the caregivers (on the instructions of my mother), the female caregivers told me directly that I was weak and could not fight back. I.e. when I fought back, my mother scolded me harshly and brought me up, they said that I was a bully and a bully, although it was quite the opposite. When I didn't fight back (on mom's instructions), I was severely beaten and the female educators told me that I was weak because I couldn't stand up for myself, but when I tried to stand up for myself again, I still turned out to be guilty, all my explanations were interpreted by the educators against me, and mom always believed the educators and she was on their side.

For example, I recently bought citrus perfume, when my mother smelled it, she took out my brain, explained that it would go sideways for me and they would say something bad about me, they would laugh at me and allegedly the smell of perfume would cause allergy in people around me and then I would be fired from my job.

She told me some nonsense, but after her words, for some reason I felt very depressed, I live separately from my mother and rather ran away from her to my apartment.

My mother has health problems and I come to her to buy her groceries (with my own money), because she is sitting at home with a sore neck and she cannot lift weights.

When I refuse her something, she calls me an egoist, says that I think only of myself, although in fact my mother has to live on my money because she cannot work for health reasons (I see how she suffers with her neck and others see it). My mother does not agree to the operation (although I offered her and I have the necessary money), and she is not given a disability. I buy all the medicines for her myself, with my own money, medicines are expensive for ordinary people, but not for me.
 
I grew up with a tyrant mother, as a child, when I objected to her and defended my point of view, she beat my hands and slapped me. Even now in adulthood, if she doesn't like that I'm doing something, she will convincingly convince me that my actions will make people laugh at me, or bad rumors that will harm me, or that I look like a fool, idiot, etc.
According to what you say, you for sure have many childhood traumas from your (abusive) mother, leading to your current sexual/affection problems.
I learned that, we tend to think we should be loved as we have been loved in early childhood. So it's normal you fear women as you unconsciously think they would "love" like your mother, as your mind is (may be) programmed to think you deserve this kind of behaviour.

My mother has health problems and I come to her to buy her groceries (with my own money), because she is sitting at home with a sore neck and she cannot lift weights.

When I refuse her something, she calls me an egoist, says that I think only of myself, although in fact my mother has to live on my money because she cannot work for health reasons (I see how she suffers with her neck and others see it). My mother does not agree to the operation (although I offered her and I have the necessary money), and she is not given a disability. I buy all the medicines for her myself, with my own money, medicines are expensive for ordinary people, but not for me.
What I say can be harsh and you possibly will dislike it.
In my opinion, you need to detach and let go your mother, to free your soul from a lifetime (or also previous lives, so karma) of emotional abuse.
A person close to me, had very similar problems. Abusive and always criticizing, shot-down self esteem kind of mother; old, weak and ill.
As this person understood how his mother was abusive (and also heavily xian, with a nazarene perpetually hanges over her head in bed), and this person turned to Satan many years ago, I helped him to put his mother in a retirement house, where old people are cared by nurses and assistant. It is not a bad place. His mother now has everything she needs and cannot abuse that much her son.
It was the only possible solution, so this person could start detaching his chakra, soul and energies from that abusive (and heavily vampire, draining energies).
I have seen many people, with a destroyed or null love life, getting back to their parent home when one parent is dead, to take care of them. This can be good in a healty and sane family, but there are few like this. Most NPC trapped in xian or muslim countries end up this way, as the lifetime of emotional (or worst) abuse was a tool to subdue the son's will to the mother/father, and the consequent draining and lack of self esteem of the victim deprived him of will and any chance to develop his own life.
Sense of guilt is used. If your mother is spiritually abusive as I think, her soul/will is acting to prevent you having a decent love life, so you'll always come back to mama.

I may be wrong but I have seen this pattern many times. Also in myself, I really saved my life - thanks to the Gods - from enslavement by an abusive father, that I once saw as "good" while he is no good in any inch of his soul.

You only know the degree of damage you receive from your mother. But you may have been partially blinded to see her for what she really is, by emotional maniopulation and hang-ups-
 
Oh I forgot to add. You mother refuses surgery, because if she heals, she won't have the guilt power on you. There wouldn't be a reason to keep you at her service. My friend, had the very same problem : perpetually ill with no will to heal, to be always cared. So much xian.
 
You have absolutely hit the spot, the Mercury Square seems useless to me, as if you were counting information from my aura :)

I run very fast (I once overtook a master of sports in short-distance running, although I am not an athlete), after the mercury square to improve my communication skills, my speed has become even more acute, I can move very fast, although I do not need it.

If I understand correctly, Mercury does not attract girls. If Mercury attracts girls, then what approximate affirmation of the Mercury Square can I use to attract girls?

How can the Square of the Sun be used to attract girls? (What should be the approximate affirmation?)

I grew up with a tyrant mother, as a child, when I objected to her and defended my point of view, she beat my hands and slapped me. Even now in adulthood, if she doesn't like that I'm doing something, she will convincingly convince me that my actions will make people laugh at me, or bad rumors that will harm me, or that I look like a fool, idiot, etc.

For some reason, my mother was always on the side of the teachers at school and in kindergartens and always believed them, not me, even when the guys offended me, and I hit back at them, I was always guilty, although I was always calm and never bullied, never bullied anyone, while all The dogs were hung on me. When, under pressure from my mother, I promised her that I would not get into fights, I was just stupidly beaten, while when I complained to the caregivers (on the instructions of my mother), the female caregivers told me directly that I was weak and could not fight back. I.e. when I fought back, my mother scolded me harshly and brought me up, they said that I was a bully and a bully, although it was quite the opposite. When I didn't fight back (on mom's instructions), I was severely beaten and the female educators told me that I was weak because I couldn't stand up for myself, but when I tried to stand up for myself again, I still turned out to be guilty, all my explanations were interpreted by the educators against me, and mom always believed the educators and she was on their side.

For example, I recently bought citrus perfume, when my mother smelled it, she took out my brain, explained that it would go sideways for me and they would say something bad about me, they would laugh at me and allegedly the smell of perfume would cause allergy in people around me and then I would be fired from my job.

She told me some nonsense, but after her words, for some reason I felt very depressed, I live separately from my mother and rather ran away from her to my apartment.

My mother has health problems and I come to her to buy her groceries (with my own money), because she is sitting at home with a sore neck and she cannot lift weights.

When I refuse her something, she calls me an egoist, says that I think only of myself, although in fact my mother has to live on my money because she cannot work for health reasons (I see how she suffers with her neck and others see it). My mother does not agree to the operation (although I offered her and I have the necessary money), and she is not given a disability. I buy all the medicines for her myself, with my own money, medicines are expensive for ordinary people, but not for me.
Don't buy her anything, she doesn't respect you, and she even doesn't know how to raise a child.

Leave her, it's now her problem.

Invest your money in something usefull, or even in JoS, this will make a difference.

Keeping her ass alive is useless and an insult to you as a man.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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