It always make me sad, empathic and willing to help, when I read a person suffering on self-blame. So many times, this is not one's fault.
This may be the "unloved suffering". How many people have been unloved as childs, and in their lives! The jewish mainstream, xianity, islam etc. do NOT teach anything about personal value. They do NOT teach people how to love their "loved ones", their kids, their partners. The mainstream media are chock full of self blame, subtle and subliminal insults, advertisements and marketing are all based on self-inferiority, competition and subduing others. There is nothing about unconditional love, there is nothing about loving a person for what he/she truly is.
So, if people are treated this way in childhood, how do they learn to love others ? They do not learn. And they do NOT lears to LOVE THEMSELVES. So they always blame themselves for any fault, because they perceive not having been loved, so they are of no value.
"Did you work well at school?" "Did you get an advancement career" ? All of this, hides a judgement for value. Often children perceive they are loved only if the "do good" - so they are UNLOVED if they do "no good". So if you feel you did no good with a partner, you automatically think you are not to be loved, so you let others abuse of you because, you feel unworthy. So why defending yourself if you are unlovable? You let others mistreat you, because you HOPE you will be loved if you do what they want or need from you.
This is the unloved suffering. So many people have this buried in the deeper unconscious, they did not even know this.
My meditations and path brought me to confront with this - this can be overcame in most cases.
Learning to love yourself is the key to self-esteem and do not letting other mistreat you.