AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
I had a tendency to quit and start meditations over and over again in the past because I lacked stability, willpower and self-discipline. I started again and I'm doing my daily meditations without skipping anything and I'm currently able to keep myself afloat. However I kind of cut contact with both Father Satan and my Guardian, due to an experience I had a few months ago. At that time I just started meditating again after a longer period of neglecting spirituality, the meditations felt incredible and I was really satisfied and happy that I was able do to them. After I was done I talked with my GD, in a sense that I focused on them in my mind, and said what I wanted to say (I don't know who my GD is exactly). I received different messages from the Gods before, everything was kept simple in a way I could receive and understand it. That night I was talking to my GD, and said how good the meditations felt, and how happy I was to be back into spirituality. I didn't really had any topics at hand I wanted to talk about and I contacted my GD on an impulse rather than thinking it through. Suddenly, I had a really strong "thought", which said something similar along the lines of "You shouldn't contact me without any important topics at hand, or bother me with things I otherwise know". It wasn't exactly a thought, as it was completely non-verbal, like communication without any words. I understood and felt what they meant completely in a split second, all of it without any words spoken. It was kind of abstract, and hard to describe correctly. At another time I had the same kind of strong, non-verbal thought pop up in my mind after meditating, and it said "You shouldn't feel so happy about meditating, it doesn't matter because you'II fail again." This made me feel kind of bad again, but I can understand that it's a harsh but true statement considering my past. I also understood that I really shouldn't talk to my GD unless I have important things to say, but I felt really alone and lonely because of this. I don't have friends or people who are dear to me, so I frequently talked to my GD and Father when I felt lonely. I didn't talked to them ever since because I feel like I don't have any important things to say. I also wondered if my experience was legit or it was something that my mind just made up. I lack the experience so I can't really tell.