Perhaps this is Saturn teaching you a lesson, in an unfortunate way.
Obstacles are hurdles not walls. -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3_IlWj7afM
Your making mountains out of molehills. Work on your soul further and use the power of your Saturnization to improve your soul.
Am I wrong in assuming your a more "masculine" person and "Earthling" for working on your soul lower regions i.e. lower chakras?
You need to power-up your feminine side. Your creating your own horror show not because of any wrong doing but because potentially your masculine side is starving for female energy and your soul is weaker and thus falling into traps.
I would also clean and protect with runic protection. As Blitzkrieg replied to someone, It's imperative you work on runic shielding/protection as soon as possible. Try and program energy workings like yoga and pranayama to empower, raise, and amplify your vrill and the powers of your soul. BTW don't take powers as being a magi in one day. But let the soul be stronger and affect reality.
Remember the Deus Ex Machina, God is a machine. You need to initiate the mechanisms of the macrocosmic within the microcosmic to initiate the mechanisms to change the parameter.
Anyways I think your too Saturnized and your not enjoying life plus it seems like your not ready for hard knocks it seems even a minor event is fraught with emergency.
Mind if I ask where you ever bullied or treated in a negative way as a child? Did one of your family members snap at you and left a terrible imprint on your mind, body, and soul. And thus you remained learned helpless? Did some kid say some shit to you or you got in trouble in school and were shut down and felt like you had to do everything on your own without help and or approval?
In essence you sound like a person who suffers for the sake of suffering. You need to struggle not suffer, Eternal Struggle not suffering.
I strongly recommend you use your powers to fix the situation. It's gonna get worse due to the ritual changing the machinery but in the end your Saturn and the powers of the Gods will shield.
Perhaps this is a sign from the Gods your going about it the wrong way. We perform spiritual first THEN mental THEN physical.
Your going about it the wrong way. Not that is wrong or bad but not what the Gods want perhaps you curried the favor of an entity wanting you to break out of the cycle and you need to get a good smack upside the head to turn you into doing a proper development of the (Soul).