AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
Greetings,
I am using a translation, it may be wrong, please excuse me.
Lately, I feel like I’m about to go insane. There's so much pressure inside me that I can't even explain. Sometimes I have attacks. It feels like my soul doesn't fit in my body anymore. I've been a Spiritual Satanist for a long time and I regularly do meditation and yoga, but recently, when I go into trance, my body starts moving hysterically. My head jerks from side to side like a tic or moves slowly in circles. Even outside of trance, I constantly feel like spiraling my spine.
There’s an energy blockage between my sacral and solar plexus chakras. During a trance, I asked the gods for help, and they said they could only help with certain things and told me I was going through a test—or at least that’s how it felt. I don't know if I was talking to the gods or my higher self.
Even though the room was warm and the windows were closed, I felt a light breeze on the front of my body. I asked, “Whatever this test or awakening is, can’t I go through it later?” and something responded, “Can someone who has already built their cocoon leave it unfinished or step out of it halfway?”
It also told me that I had to disconnect from the material world and be alone. I’m preparing for a university exam and I asked what the test would be—because this pressure is making it hard for me to study. It said, “You have already chosen your path.” I asked what path, but got no answer. I asked how long this process would last, and it told me that it depends on me.
The soles of my feet turned ice cold. My head started twitching again, either jerking like a strong “no” or moving slowly in circles. Then I saw myself in an empty place. Gray was the dominant color. I was alone. There was a cliff. I looked down and saw water—it wasn’t blue or clear, but kind of transparent. I turned around and walked alone.
My consciousness was semi-awake. I asked myself, “Should I jump off the cliff?” I turned around and suddenly, my head shook violently as if saying “no.” I don’t know if I did that myself or if it was a sign. I turned around again and kept walking. I saw a snake—probably brown—large and long. At that exact moment, I felt energy and pain between my sacral and solar plexus chakras, and energy moving up my spine. My body bent forward, then backward.
I wanted to wake up. I slightly opened my eyes, but I heard a voice say, “Not yet.” So I closed them again and tried to remember what had happened. After a while, I woke up.
What is all this that I’m experiencing? Sometimes it becomes unbearable, and sometimes the only way out seems to be ending my life. Please, guide me.
I am using a translation, it may be wrong, please excuse me.
Lately, I feel like I’m about to go insane. There's so much pressure inside me that I can't even explain. Sometimes I have attacks. It feels like my soul doesn't fit in my body anymore. I've been a Spiritual Satanist for a long time and I regularly do meditation and yoga, but recently, when I go into trance, my body starts moving hysterically. My head jerks from side to side like a tic or moves slowly in circles. Even outside of trance, I constantly feel like spiraling my spine.
There’s an energy blockage between my sacral and solar plexus chakras. During a trance, I asked the gods for help, and they said they could only help with certain things and told me I was going through a test—or at least that’s how it felt. I don't know if I was talking to the gods or my higher self.
Even though the room was warm and the windows were closed, I felt a light breeze on the front of my body. I asked, “Whatever this test or awakening is, can’t I go through it later?” and something responded, “Can someone who has already built their cocoon leave it unfinished or step out of it halfway?”
It also told me that I had to disconnect from the material world and be alone. I’m preparing for a university exam and I asked what the test would be—because this pressure is making it hard for me to study. It said, “You have already chosen your path.” I asked what path, but got no answer. I asked how long this process would last, and it told me that it depends on me.
The soles of my feet turned ice cold. My head started twitching again, either jerking like a strong “no” or moving slowly in circles. Then I saw myself in an empty place. Gray was the dominant color. I was alone. There was a cliff. I looked down and saw water—it wasn’t blue or clear, but kind of transparent. I turned around and walked alone.
My consciousness was semi-awake. I asked myself, “Should I jump off the cliff?” I turned around and suddenly, my head shook violently as if saying “no.” I don’t know if I did that myself or if it was a sign. I turned around again and kept walking. I saw a snake—probably brown—large and long. At that exact moment, I felt energy and pain between my sacral and solar plexus chakras, and energy moving up my spine. My body bent forward, then backward.
I wanted to wake up. I slightly opened my eyes, but I heard a voice say, “Not yet.” So I closed them again and tried to remember what had happened. After a while, I woke up.
What is all this that I’m experiencing? Sometimes it becomes unbearable, and sometimes the only way out seems to be ending my life. Please, guide me.
