AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
This is really imbarresting and wrong i know and I won't ever do it i think but i can't help feeling like this.From what i can tell is the cause of this is a combination of a few things. One is being molested as a child,the other is sexual oppression from christian family and third is the blood rape and sacrifice from jews that probably does something metaphysically to me and also one of my placements say i have pretty nasty sexual fetishes which could be a factor.
I felt my serpentine energy is conscious and has a mind o it's own i feel Lust overpowers love in some cases but with mine they are a combined force and can be a very strong and uncontrollable sometime. All my girlfriends were of age but it wasn't satisfying deep down ias i imagined.It started when i was about 16 and i remember this girl who just was very playful and something triggered me and she aroused me so much. I never felt that love lust connection before and this changed me and something I won't forget. It was like a drug pleasure feeling in the pineal by just having skin to skin contact. I never did anything because parents were there but..I had to walk away because i couldn't understand what was happening to me.In my older years when i got unto normal relationships it went away or atleast it wasn't that big of a problem but then i got into
drugs and the drugs opened this dark desire up again and was like an amplifier.I started digging for young porn and this became a habit which is SICK TO THE CORE and became worse because i was on drugs for years had an extreme thirst of underage sex.
How can i fix this?i don't want to be this. I'm practicing healthy sexual behaviours now or atleast making an mental effort to do this. I'm off porn atleast but this feeling keeps coming back and sometimes my mental efforts are not enough and i go back to my ol habbits.It somehow is tied into love energy and not being with my soul mate i can feel it. So thats it and I'm very ashamed of this but i know it's wrong and don't want to be a sick gentile or like a jew.
[This is from Azazel's Astrology]
These people can have some pretty nasty fetishes. they are strongly sexual, possessive and jealous. They enjoy having sex in the nude. They can go for a long time between affairs, as they take love very seriously and it is all or nothing with them. They can be loners. Never talk about their sex life, their secrets, or their personal lives to others; this will really turn them off. They are secretive by nature and any betrayal of trust is unforgivable. Loyalty is of exceptional importance to them and they mate for life. Their feelings run deep, they desire the perfect soul mate; a soul to soul deep, intense love relationship, especially if the chart has other water signs to back this up. They can become obsessed with a lover.
I felt my serpentine energy is conscious and has a mind o it's own i feel Lust overpowers love in some cases but with mine they are a combined force and can be a very strong and uncontrollable sometime. All my girlfriends were of age but it wasn't satisfying deep down ias i imagined.It started when i was about 16 and i remember this girl who just was very playful and something triggered me and she aroused me so much. I never felt that love lust connection before and this changed me and something I won't forget. It was like a drug pleasure feeling in the pineal by just having skin to skin contact. I never did anything because parents were there but..I had to walk away because i couldn't understand what was happening to me.In my older years when i got unto normal relationships it went away or atleast it wasn't that big of a problem but then i got into
drugs and the drugs opened this dark desire up again and was like an amplifier.I started digging for young porn and this became a habit which is SICK TO THE CORE and became worse because i was on drugs for years had an extreme thirst of underage sex.
How can i fix this?i don't want to be this. I'm practicing healthy sexual behaviours now or atleast making an mental effort to do this. I'm off porn atleast but this feeling keeps coming back and sometimes my mental efforts are not enough and i go back to my ol habbits.It somehow is tied into love energy and not being with my soul mate i can feel it. So thats it and I'm very ashamed of this but i know it's wrong and don't want to be a sick gentile or like a jew.
[This is from Azazel's Astrology]
These people can have some pretty nasty fetishes. they are strongly sexual, possessive and jealous. They enjoy having sex in the nude. They can go for a long time between affairs, as they take love very seriously and it is all or nothing with them. They can be loners. Never talk about their sex life, their secrets, or their personal lives to others; this will really turn them off. They are secretive by nature and any betrayal of trust is unforgivable. Loyalty is of exceptional importance to them and they mate for life. Their feelings run deep, they desire the perfect soul mate; a soul to soul deep, intense love relationship, especially if the chart has other water signs to back this up. They can become obsessed with a lover.