Maya
Member
Procrastination is an act to protect ourselves from getting out of our comfort zone. Staying in our comfort zone can give us pleasant vibes and safety. Getting out of our comfort zone can trigger plenty of things to each one of us: negative thoughts, emotions, specific fears, the possibility of our fears being true, things we are not ready or willing to deal with just yet. Our fears that make us stay in our comfort zone do not have to be real.
A silly example regarding the comfort zone: if a kid is afraid of the dark, they don't want to go to their room if the hallway's lights are off. They will wait for their caregiver to turn on the lights for them and maybe even escort them to their room, comforting them. This kid is staying in their comfort zone. Why? Because they are not ready to face the possibility of their fear being true. If they believe there are monsters in their room, by getting out of their comfort zone they face the possibility of facing these monsters.
So, for a kid, leaving their comfort zone equals with never facing monsters. Now, what about an adult? And when does this become procrastination? Procrastination is when we delay or postpone what we have to do right now. This can be an action or a decision. It happens when in general we have trouble to do right now what we have to.
Some common ways in which people may procrastinate:
- By getting busy or distracted with other things. E.g. gaming, listening to music, watching videos, chatting with friends about unimportant matters, and browsing your social media. Even going to get some coffee first or even cook.
- By making excuses "I need to be in a good mood for this".
-By waiting for the perfect time.
- By telling yourself you have plenty of time, so you end up leaving it for last minute.
Why we may procrastinate; some common reasons:
- Fear of failure; that our performance on something (e.g. an exam) won't be good. So we avoid studying because if we study and fail in the exam, this will be a difficult feeling to process.
- Fear of success. "I've never achieved anything, so what if I do now? What am I gonna do? How am I gonna feel? This whole this is stressing me out" .
- Fear of not being good enough. "Do I really deserve this?". Low self-confidence and self-esteem can make us believe that even things that are considered basic for others, we are not worthy of having for us.
- Fear of rejection; for example, to apply for a job and get rejected.
- Fear of change, fear of the unknown, walking away from the familiar. The familiar, a huge trap for each one of us. Our behaviours become habits. Individuals are drawn to the familiar. To what they already know. So it is always easier to stay in the familiar, in the comfort zone. What we gain from this is that we protect our mood from this bothersome, difficult thing.
- Fear of regret. What if I try something new here and regret it in the future? Now, what if we put overthinking in the game? It becomes never-ending.
- Maladaptive perfectionism. For example, to evaluate yourself negatively and to be so critical to yourself to the level that you postpone a task because of the possibility that it won't turn out perfect. "If it's not perfect then it's not worth it", so I'm afraid it won't be as I want it, so I postpone working on it, because working or even thinking of working on it causes difficult feelings.
All these are examples of fears triggered that create discomfort to us. We want to avoid the discomfort, so we procrastinate. All these have deeper areas to explore of course; it's not just that.
As always, the first step is awareness. We need to be aware of our thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and our habits that lead us to procrastinate.
- Identify and evaluate how rational each fear is.
- Break each task to small doable steps. Make them as easy as possible.
- Develop self-compassion and forgive yourself for past procrastination. This happened, it belongs in the past, we cannot change that.
- Give yourself permission to make mistakes.
- Reward yourself for accomplishing each step.
- Consistency, to create a new habit.
- Be time bound. Create deadlines to yourself.
A silly example regarding the comfort zone: if a kid is afraid of the dark, they don't want to go to their room if the hallway's lights are off. They will wait for their caregiver to turn on the lights for them and maybe even escort them to their room, comforting them. This kid is staying in their comfort zone. Why? Because they are not ready to face the possibility of their fear being true. If they believe there are monsters in their room, by getting out of their comfort zone they face the possibility of facing these monsters.
So, for a kid, leaving their comfort zone equals with never facing monsters. Now, what about an adult? And when does this become procrastination? Procrastination is when we delay or postpone what we have to do right now. This can be an action or a decision. It happens when in general we have trouble to do right now what we have to.
Some common ways in which people may procrastinate:
- By getting busy or distracted with other things. E.g. gaming, listening to music, watching videos, chatting with friends about unimportant matters, and browsing your social media. Even going to get some coffee first or even cook.
- By making excuses "I need to be in a good mood for this".
-By waiting for the perfect time.
- By telling yourself you have plenty of time, so you end up leaving it for last minute.
Why we may procrastinate; some common reasons:
- Fear of failure; that our performance on something (e.g. an exam) won't be good. So we avoid studying because if we study and fail in the exam, this will be a difficult feeling to process.
- Fear of success. "I've never achieved anything, so what if I do now? What am I gonna do? How am I gonna feel? This whole this is stressing me out" .
- Fear of not being good enough. "Do I really deserve this?". Low self-confidence and self-esteem can make us believe that even things that are considered basic for others, we are not worthy of having for us.
- Fear of rejection; for example, to apply for a job and get rejected.
- Fear of change, fear of the unknown, walking away from the familiar. The familiar, a huge trap for each one of us. Our behaviours become habits. Individuals are drawn to the familiar. To what they already know. So it is always easier to stay in the familiar, in the comfort zone. What we gain from this is that we protect our mood from this bothersome, difficult thing.
- Fear of regret. What if I try something new here and regret it in the future? Now, what if we put overthinking in the game? It becomes never-ending.
- Maladaptive perfectionism. For example, to evaluate yourself negatively and to be so critical to yourself to the level that you postpone a task because of the possibility that it won't turn out perfect. "If it's not perfect then it's not worth it", so I'm afraid it won't be as I want it, so I postpone working on it, because working or even thinking of working on it causes difficult feelings.
All these are examples of fears triggered that create discomfort to us. We want to avoid the discomfort, so we procrastinate. All these have deeper areas to explore of course; it's not just that.
As always, the first step is awareness. We need to be aware of our thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and our habits that lead us to procrastinate.
- Identify and evaluate how rational each fear is.
- Break each task to small doable steps. Make them as easy as possible.
- Develop self-compassion and forgive yourself for past procrastination. This happened, it belongs in the past, we cannot change that.
- Give yourself permission to make mistakes.
- Reward yourself for accomplishing each step.
- Consistency, to create a new habit.
- Be time bound. Create deadlines to yourself.
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