Please help me, I'm being destroyed by enemy curses

[Hvítr Ormr]

As the title says, I'm writing this because I desperately need help. I don't know what's happened to me, I do returning curses 1&2 each day, multiple times, plus multiple AOPs (including Shadowcat's powerful one with with the 3 runes), none of it seems to work. The curses and negative energies just keep getting through like I'm not even doing anything, and it's been getting worse each day, and I have no idea what to do about it. I tried a couple of times to do a 28 day witches sabbat working last month with Lydia's deep cleaning working, but each time I tried to I couldn't finish it. I was just so burned out by it after a week or so I just couldn't continue, so I don't think doing that any more is an option. I should probably mention I'm going through a Saturn transit, so I don't suppose that will help matters, but could that be the cause of this?

Regardless, please will someone help me make this stop I really desperately need help, I'm just being completely overwhelmed by this at this point, it's honestly destroying my mental health and making me feel very scared that my life is just going to be ruined my enemy curses and I'm not going to be able to stop it. It's actually making me feel suicidal. I know I shouldn't say that, but it really is. I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

[Alexandros Iowno [JG]]

Why do you think that? How this manifested in your life? This might not be what you think, to this degree, or just a mix of many influences in life.

Saturn can hit hard. What you will benefit and actualize your workings against this directly now, is for you to understand that any curses are obliterated and not active or anywhere "on" you. Stop amplifying these beliefs, as many times you are the only one connecting to such things. Fuck curses, you are safe and free.

You are dealing with a lot of probably karmic and other influences built up in time, you thinking otherwise does not help. Have faith in your workings and approach this with an egotistical mindset of self preservation and self-reliance.

If you'd safely expand on this, I could help more specifically.

 

[Academic Scholar]

As the title says, I'm writing this because I desperately need help. I don't know what's happened to me, I do returning curses 1&2 each day, multiple times, plus multiple AOPs (including Shadowcat's powerful one with with the 3 runes), none of it seems to work. The curses and negative energies just keep getting through like I'm not even doing anything, and it's been getting worse each day, and I have no idea what to do about it. I tried a couple of times to do a 28 day witches sabbat working last month with Lydia's deep cleaning working, but each time I tried to I couldn't finish it. I was just so burned out by it after a week or so I just couldn't continue, so I don't think doing that any more is an option. I should probably mention I'm going through a Saturn transit, so I don't suppose that will help matters, but could that be the cause of this?

Regardless, please will someone help me make this stop I really desperately need help, I'm just being completely overwhelmed by this at this point, it's honestly destroying my mental health and making me feel very scared that my life is just going to be ruined my enemy curses and I'm not going to be able to stop it. It's actually making me feel suicidal. I know I shouldn't say that, but it really is. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Have you done the Final Reverse Torah Ritual (RTR)? The Final RTR removes curses from your soul and it’s mandatory do the Final RTR everyday.

If all else fails, you could do the Prayer to Satan For Protection.

In JoS, it’s usually recommended to do a Sun Square when you’re going through a Saturn transit. You could do a Sun Square with one of these affirmations:

“In a positive manner, the energies of the Sun Square are permanently and completely nullifying all negative Saturn influence in my life.”

“In a positive and healthy way, the Sun is negating any and all negative natal influences on me now, continously and forever.”

List of Affirmations For Planetary Squares

These audio recordings by HPS Maxine Dietrich show how to correctly pronounce the Sanskrit mantras in Satan’s Magical Planetary Squares:
https://mega.nz/folder/aIxxRKoC#KgOVQuGlBBA4LbQKbcTnZA
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ok6slcijxy91n1g/Planetary_Squares.zip?dl=1

The Joy of Satan Astrology Calendar will show you the best times to do a Sun Square: https://jos-astro.com/#/astro-calendars

 

[Hvítr Ormr]

Thank you for the reply, I feel a bit better for reading that. Honestly, I've wondered myself if somehow I might be making these curses worse on myself by over focusing on them, it's just it's become so bad that it fills my mind most of the day, trying not to be scared about it or trying to find ways to make it stop. Void meditation helps but it only does so much it seems with something this bad.


Thank you for your reply too, but I should probably mention I'm actually a 20 year JOS veteran for what it's worth, so I already know most of this. This is one of the reasons why I just cannot wrap my head around how or why this is happening to me, as I think I'm fairly experienced and have a somewhat powerful soul at this point. Or should be at any rate by this point, right? I mean I've been meditating seriously for 10 years now. I've been doing the final RTR, tetra and shattering since they came out, and I actually started a sun square last sunday, with one of the affirmations you posted. I can certainly feel the energy when I do it, but these curses are still constantly getting through. I'm gonna try the prayer though, see if anything happens.

I'm just, well, terrified, folks, that this is gonna finish me off. It's extremely embarrassing to say, but I've had a few mental breakdowns and crying fits over this recently, because I feel so damn powerless and alone, and I really don't want my life to be destroyed or to die, which is what I'm sacred is gonna happen. I did a ritual to Satan a couple of weeks ago begging for his help, and I felt his lovely energy all around me for the rest of the day, but this just hasn't stopped and I don't know what will make it at this point.

 

[Henu the Great]

Lots of physical yoga will help you get through hard times and makes good times even better. Serious aspirants do it for twice a day, around a hour minimum. Benefits are too long to list in detail, but among them is the prospect of increased energy input/output and burning of negative karmic imprints. If you are not already giving this much effort, consider seriously.

 

[Hvítr Ormr]

I made a reply before but it doesn't seem to have gone through, I'll try and type it again. Also my internet started repeatedly disconnecting as soon as I began to make this thread, looks like something is trying to stop me getting help for this.


Thank you for the reply, reading that made me feel a bit better. Honestly I've wondered before if I may be making these curses worse on myself by over focusing on them. It's just it's on my mind from the moment I wake up, trying to clean with returning curses 1&2 because my aura is always filthy whenever I wake up, and it just seems like a constantly losing battle to try to keep myself clean and protected throughout the day. I'll try and be safe, but I will mention one thing that's affecting me a lot too is the recent loss of a parent I was very close to, I'm not sure if that could be a contributing factor in this as well.


Thank you also for your reply, but I should probably mention I'm actually a 20 year veteran JOS member, so I already know most of this. This is one of the reasons why I just cannot wrap my head around how or why this is happening to me, and why I feel so pathetic, since as far as I'm aware I'm fairly experienced and have a somewhat powerful soul. I mean I've been meditating seriously for 10 years now. I've been doing the final RTR, tetra and shattering every day since we started them, I also started a sun square last sunday using a slightly modified version of one of the affirmations you posted. I can definitely feel the energy from the square when I do it, but the curses keep getting through. Void meditation definitely helps too, but it seems there's only so much it can do with something this bad.

Honestly, I'm just terrified, folks. This has never happened to me before, and I really feel like it's just getting beyond my ability to cope with at this point. I've just been so scared that the curses just gonna keep on getting worse and worse no matter what I try, like they have, and are gonna overwhelm me, and destroy my life or kill me, and I can't even understand how or why it got to this point so quickly, as this only started a month or so ago. It's pretty embarrassing to admit, but I suppose I ought to be honest and say I've had a few mental breakdowns and crying fits over this. I just don't know what to do to make it stop.

 

[Academic Scholar]

Oh ok! So nothing is working? Even calling upon your Guardian Demon and praying to Satan for protection doesn’t work for you? Are there any people in your life that may be cursing you or sending you negative energy?

If I were you, I would astral project and go to the Gods immediately.

I’ve never done a Demon summoning ritual and I don’t think I ever will because I heard a JoS member say once, “Why have the Gods come to ME when I can save time and go to THEM? The best way to experience Satan and the Powers of Hell is to exit the body.”

The Gods are probably busy with their own lives, spouses and families so it makes more sense to me to astral project and go directly to Them.

The paragraph below explains this better:

Satan and the powers of Hell have been dealing with me about Satanists with depression.

For those who don’t know, Thoth is a prominent Demon in Spiritual Satanism.

Here now the ancient scriptures taken from the Tablet of Thoth: “When unto thee comes a feeling, drawing thee nearer to the darker gate, examine thine heart and find if the feeling thou hast has come from within. If thou shalt find the darkness thine own thoughts, banish them forth from the place in thy mind.

Send through thy body a wave of vibration, irregular first and regular second, repeating time after time until free. Start the force in thy mind center. Direct it in waves from thine head to thy foot. But if thou findeth thine heart is not darkened, be sure that a force is directed to thee.

Only by knowing can thou overcome it. Only by wisdom can thou hope to be free. Knowledge brings wisdom and wisdom is power. Attain and ye shall have power o’er all.”

This is an example of meditation! Meditation gives answer and relieves depression because you no longer feel lost and confused.

Satan and the Powers of Hell are urging followers to meditate. The COMMON mistake that Satanists make when coming to Satanism is doing rituals only!

But when hard times come, they don’t know what to do. They try to summon the Powers of Hell to come to THEM. However, there is a spiritual battle happening. The Powers of Hell are very busy. If you need answers, you need to go to THEM! This is done by astral projection and other forms of meditation.

Why have them come to YOU when you can save time and go to THEM? Tablet 15 of Thoth declares, “Leave thou thy body as I have taught thee.” This is astral projection! Anyone who is serious about getting answers and NOT feeling lost will practice this.

You’re NOT waiting on Satan! Satan is waiting on YOU! I come in contact with the Powers of Hell frequently by going to them, NOT waiting on them to come to ME.

Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/Byb2yHAAHM-/?igshid=NmZiMzY2Mjc=

 

[Demonic]

As the title says, I'm writing this because I desperately need help. I don't know what's happened to me, I do returning curses 1&2 each day, multiple times, plus multiple AOPs (including Shadowcat's powerful one with with the 3 runes), none of it seems to work. The curses and negative energies just keep getting through like I'm not even doing anything, and it's been getting worse each day, and I have no idea what to do about it. I tried a couple of times to do a 28 day witches sabbat working last month with Lydia's deep cleaning working, but each time I tried to I couldn't finish it. I was just so burned out by it after a week or so I just couldn't continue, so I don't think doing that any more is an option. I should probably mention I'm going through a Saturn transit, so I don't suppose that will help matters, but could that be the cause of this?

Regardless, please will someone help me make this stop I really desperately need help, I'm just being completely overwhelmed by this at this point, it's honestly destroying my mental health and making me feel very scared that my life is just going to be ruined my enemy curses and I'm not going to be able to stop it. It's actually making me feel suicidal. I know I shouldn't say that, but it really is. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Shadowcat's aop worked well for me during a saturn transit.

The event manifested before the negative aspect of saturn was made to this planet. Before it could further strengthen i spammed Aop twice a day and further damaged stopped, something around 120-140 vibrations divided into two sessions.

If you have other workings going on it would be better to stop that and replace it with more AOP and more cleaning until things are restored.

DO NOT affirm negative things to yourself. YOU ARE STRONG! whatever this is you are overcoming this. You are manhandling this and bending this towards better with your strong will.
Nothing can touch you.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

Honestly, I'm just terrified, folks. This has never happened to me before, and I really feel like it's just getting beyond my ability to cope with at this point. I've just been so scared that the curses just gonna keep on getting worse and worse no matter what I try, like they have, and are gonna overwhelm me, and destroy my life or kill me, and I can't even understand how or why it got to this point so quickly, as this only started a month or so ago. It's pretty embarrassing to admit, but I suppose I ought to be honest and say I've had a few mental breakdowns and crying fits over this. I just don't know what to do to make it stop.

The context you have given here is insightful. I thought before you were maybe not creating your AOP properly, or something. Rather, that is not the case.

I think this is the case where your power has worked against you, due to having negative thoughts. Remember when HPS Maxine said she cried while healing her pet, and Satan told her to stop because that shows a lack of faith in one's abilities?

Our confidence is supposed to be strong at all times. Our Solar energies are separate from our Mercury or Moon, for example, and therefore a strong Sun should not make you overconfident nor overly aggressive. Yet, in the faith of difficulties, we should always remain strong.

You are an experienced Satanist, under Satan's protection, and therefore no harm will come of you. You are perfectly capable of handling any negative energy on your own. This is something you must realize, otherwise you invite harm onto yourself from what is otherwise likely a small amount of dirt or curses.

---------------

In order to "realize" your confidence, you should go directly to your solar and fire energies, with the support of the other lower chakras. Do the breath of fire, chant Sowilo in general or at your solar chakra, and program that you now have the confidence to deal with this.

Then, do your aura cleaning and AOP and know and feel the strength and permanence of what you just did. Having poor emotions does not mean your actual abilities are threatened. Don't let yourself spiral out of control simply due to fear. Instead, recreate confidence within yourself.

You've spent 2 decades doing this same process of cleaning yourself and damaging the enemy. Yet, today you are even stronger than before.

--------------

Thinking about contributing factors: Both a Saturn transit and family problems can cause extra stress, shaking your confidence.

What are you doing this Sun Square for? This could be digging up karma pertaining to confidence as well.

 

[Hvítr Ormr]

Thank you for the reply again, but unfortunately (and this is really pathetic) I can't really astrally project. I've had some experiences with it, but I could never really get it to work effectively whenever I've tried various methods, even the JOS ones from Maxine. It's actually been a source of frustration over the years to be honest, because I know it's something I ought to be able to do by now. I don't know if it's just a personal failure on my part, not trying hard enough maybe or some other internal issue blocking me from be able to do it but that's the long a short of it. I tell you something though, if I make it though this I am going to seriously try to figure out why I can't do it and make it so that I can, that's for damn sure, because it would be really useful in a situation like this as you say. I haven't summoned a demon in a very long time, because I haven't ever really needed to but perhaps I could try it.

" post_id=362211 time=1654328857 user_id=21286]

Thank you Blitzkreig, and thank you for the help you've already given me. I should probably say here, fear is something I've been struggling with for a while, past few years certainly. When my parent first started to become sick several years ago is when it started, because they kept having yearly hospital trips and almost dying each time they went, and I started to get really bad fear about them because of that, even though I didn't really have issues with fear before that point. That could be possibly where the fear here comes from maybe, I'm not sure.

I have had self confidence issues too in the past, but I was sure I was over that now. This is bringing them back though. Could this really be just a self confidence issue? The energy really does feel very bad, and it's nearly always there so I didn't think it could just be something like that. I'll try what you suggest though.

The sun square I'm doing is to try to counteract the saturn transit I'm going through, it's a spiritual one and the affirmation I'm using is this: "In a positive way for me, the energies of this Sun square are permanently and completely nullifying all negative Saturn influence in my life." x9


I've been doing Shadowcat's AOP at 40 vibrations each time but I suppose that might not be enough at this point so I'm gonna try what you do, 120 vibrations at least and at multiple times of the day. I know I shouldn't affirm negative things to myself, it's just it's been horrific, and when not a single thing I've been trying helps, it's very hard to not just think "well that's it then isn't it, I'm clearly fucked here now."

 

[Demonic]

I have had self confidence issues too in the past, but I was sure I was over that now. This is bringing them back though. Could this really be just a self confidence issue? The energy really does feel very bad, and it's nearly always there so I didn't think it could just be something like that. I'll try what you suggest though.

The sun square I'm doing is to try to counteract the saturn transit I'm going through, it's a spiritual one and the affirmation I'm using is this: "In a positive way for me, the energies of this Sun square are permanently and completely nullifying all negative Saturn influence in my life." x9

This would explain a lot of things, have you been doing a cleaning program along with nullifying negative saturn influence?
When we cut negative karma,remove bindings free ourselves etc. a lot of dross comes out and that can manifest itself in physical. Thats why we do cleaning right after RTRs.

Along with this you have saturn transit combined with self doubt and lack of confidence (re-activated by saturn) all these things added up and manifested itself in physical as i understand. It has to be result of multiple factors not only one.

It cant only be enemy think about it, enemy has not been able to touch you till date why all of a sudden now?

I've been doing Shadowcat's AOP at 40 vibrations each time but I suppose that might not be enough at this point so I'm gonna try what you do, 120 vibrations at least and at multiple times of the day. I know I shouldn't affirm negative things to myself, it's just it's been horrific, and when not a single thing I've been trying helps, it's very hard to not just think "well that's it then isn't it, I'm clearly fucked here now."

I completely understand, there are times when these universal energies beats down our brain so much that its near impossible to keep a positive mindset, but then again these energies dont care, saturn doesnt care what it snatches away from you or what negativity it gives you.

You have to work harder! Theres no other option and you are overcoming this no matter what. You fight, you are really strong, you will be able to do it, i know.

I did 20xalgis 20xsowilo 20xtyr, twice a day,i still do this. 60 vibrations per sitting. also my situation was not that much worse.

you can ask Gods to guide you , to go step further,along with above you can use surya x 100 or 88 to protect/clean and drop this when situation starts to get better.

You can also Program these protective energies specifically for saturn and another working for general protection.

Can also breathe in sun energies program them to protect before and after sleep, you can do all these together or combine 2 of them.

There are many options but being suicidal and giving up is not one of them.

Trust me when this is all over you will be proud on how hard you worked and how you overcame everything.

Good luck!

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

Thank you Blitzkreig, and thank you for the help you've already given me. I should probably say here, fear is something I've been struggling with for a while, past few years certainly. When my parent first started to become sick several years ago is when it started, because they kept having yearly hospital trips and almost dying each time they went, and I started to get really bad fear about them because of that, even though I didn't really have issues with fear before that point. That could be possibly where the fear here comes from maybe, I'm not sure.

I have had self confidence issues too in the past, but I was sure I was over that now. This is bringing them back though. Could this really be just a self confidence issue? The energy really does feel very bad, and it's nearly always there so I didn't think it could just be something like that. I'll try what you suggest though.

The sun square I'm doing is to try to counteract the saturn transit I'm going through, it's a spiritual one and the affirmation I'm using is this: "In a positive way for me, the energies of this Sun square are permanently and completely nullifying all negative Saturn influence in my life." x9

Depending on what you did, it is possible your self-confidence issues were mitigated somewhat, but now they are being tested by even more pressure. Regardless, it sounds like your main problem, so you should put effort into fixing it.

The reason why self-confidence can undermine your spiritual abilities is that it interrupts your thought process. It disturbs your ability to function on a fundamental level, therefore it can certainly result in problems with even basic things like aura cleaning. If you doubt the cleaning, especially with extreme emotion, then you are basically nullifying it. The same thing if you "expect" to be dirty soon after.

If your natal Saturn pertains to self-confidence, and/or the Saturn transit is also hitting areas of self-confidence, then this will definitely aggravate this. Also, if your lower chakras and associated planets are afflicted, then that will also ruin one's confidence.

On an immediate level, you should do what I said above: Raise any sort of fire energy and specifically program it to restore your confidence.

For permanent solutions, look into Mars Squares, Jupiter Squares (since it is also in Aries), and upcoming Sun Squares or Summer Solstice workings. You can also use Munka if you have obvious obstacles on your chart, as well.

---------------------------

I am sure you are aware, but just to drive home the point:

Characteristics of Fire: "Self-centered, confident, enthusiastic, expressive, bold, subjective, expansive, out-going, extroverted, insensitivity to others, impulsive, impatient, creative, vain, extravagant, reckless, passionate, self-important, exhibitionist, courageous, adventuresome."

Mars in Aries:
"Those with Mars in Aries are confident, highly competitive, aggressive, courageous, enthusiastic, bold, honest, and are never afraid to take a stand. Never one to back down, as a rule, they are hotheaded and often irate about something. Though the temper is hair trigger temper; their anger does not last long. Mars in Aries can offset low self-esteem aspects and shyness in a chart. This placement also gives health, much energy, and strong vitality, but is common with having headaches. If there are other Aries planets in the chart and/or an emphasis on fire signs, there can be much self-centeredness and a lack of awareness regarding the needs of others. These people are fighters and enjoy combat and friction. They are born leaders. Mars in Aries is bossy and pushy, often with a big mouth, especially if prominently placed. An emphasis on water signs can offset these tendencies. "

Sun in Leo:
"Proud, leadership ability, stubborn, inner strength, arrogant, dramatic, loving, hates to fail, loves to brag, loves to be center of attention, show off, generous, creative, fun loving. Flattery will get you everywhere with this sign. Step on their pride and that is unforgivable. Leos need to have fun and recreation. They are natural born actors and have a dramatic flair. Leos have strong wills and their sense of pride can make them fiercely competitive. When their pride is at stake, they will fight to the death. They must be able to express themselves freely for their own emotional and psychological health and well-being. Leos are natural born leaders. "

Jupiter in Aries:
"These people can be extremely self-centered. Those with Jupiter in Aries, especially when prominently placed are loud, extravagant, bombastic, and impatient. They love to brag, take risks, and they often make more enemies than they do friends. They disregard tradition and hate to play by the rules. They often have a huge ego and an exaggerated sense of self-importance. This placement can help to offset low self-esteem, shyness and a lack of confidence in a chart. If there is a predominance of fire signs, or other planets in Aries, the negative traits of this placement are amplified to where the individual can be very unaware of and downright inconsiderate of the needs of others, putting themselves first and foremost. "

 

[Demonic]

I forgot to add, evaluate your situation, narrow down your list as to what is most important right now.

From i see , confidence + protection + more cleaning is what you need.
Mainly protection and confidence with little more cleaning.

Tomorrow is Sunday, Now go and bend your life for better. <3

 

[Alexandros Iowno [JG]]

Follow the advice given to you. Yes you are dealing with adverse times, but these are temporary and it is a great opportunity for you to overcome and gather abilities of strength from this.

You have to not focus on so called curses or whatever jewish shit. The jew would wish had this power against you along with the other et. enemy.
You focusing on this, or making connections to this, routes your pattern of dealing with this in failure.

Your mindset and outlook should become clear and with power. Have your ego stimulated and grow some strength against this.

1. All of your workings are valid no matter what your mind thinks against it. In weakness the mind searches for failures to prove itself weak, and reinforce this state. This becomes a delusion in time.

Have no doubts about your workings, you do them with certainty and move on to other tasks. Any other thought or ill feeling coming up, you discard this with the same certainty by KNOWING you already dealt with it by the workings.

2. Any other otherworldly forces against you by the enemy is already dealt with by the Gods. You do your part, they do theirs. Nothing less nothing more, your mind needs to move on from these thoughts.

3. I'm am sorry to hear that about your parent. Yes this is a focus for you, not "curses" or anything else.
You already have to know that material departure is not real death, and your parent is to move on and they have their own life. A little understanding on life supports a smooth departure and acceptance. Everyone departs at one point and needs to reincarnate. Death is the promise of rebirth for us and our families.

You have to simply refresh your mind and reinforce the beautiful times spent with this soul, cherish their memory and wish a greater and more joyous life for them.

You need to take care of your mental health and be realistic, not so emotional about this, not to negative degrees. This is also a lesson of Saturn, as after the control of this masculine structure of yourself, you can flower your emotions to creation and sustenance. For now focus on the practical side.

Do not spend any more time thinking this is of the enemy, and get them points they do not have nor they will ever have. This is the design of time for now, you have tools to overcome. Be sure to act on this and endure, you'll become very strong.

Bad times happen, karma happens, suffering exists. We deal with them, we wrestle to the ground, raise up, get to the next task and breathe in between.

 

[Hvítr Ormr]

" post_id=362283 time=1654347411 user_id=21286]

So this really is just a self confidence issue then? I'm either making the negative energy manifest myself where there isn't any by "expecting it", or by not believing that my AOP can keep out the curses is making it so it doesn't? This would make sense I suppose whichever it is. Thank you for all this information then, I will try and work on my self confidence more, hopefully that will help to fix this.


Yes you're right aren't you, I must still be protected, by my own AOP and by the gods of hell. To be honest, even with as foul as these energies have felt constantly nothing bad has actually happened to me since this started, just the overwhelming negative energies and fear that I couldn't cope with it that came with it. I know my parent's soul is safe, I didn't mention this but they were an SS. They saw some JOS material I was reading once years and years ago and asked me about it, I told them what it was and they wanted to know more. Next thing I knew, they'd read the JOS website and dedicated, I was really happy. That's why it hurts so much to lose them, I was really close with them and they were the only person I had irl to talk about this stuff with, and they're gone now.

Well, earlier I tried to just tell myself that my aura isn't getting dirty, my AOP is working and keeping out the curses, and it seemed to work kind of. Is this what I need to do, just tell myself I'm ok and try not to think about it?


Thank you for the reply, I should probably say though, I started doing the sun square to try to offset the saturn transit because I thought that was what was causing this. It can't be making it worse can it?

As far as cleaning goes throughout the day, honestly I'm at the limit of what I can do really. If I had to do any more that what I'm doing I probably wouldn't have time to meditate properly. Plus I'm just so worn out and tired from this, but when I got to bed I have trouble sleeping so I'm even more tired in the day. I will try what you say with surya though and see how it is. I know suicide is no good, I really don't want to do that, I want this to be over and to get better. I have a great deal to live for and I want to live and keep taking part in it, I just don't want to feel like I can't cope with this anymore.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

I will mention one thing that's affecting me a lot too is the recent loss of a parent I was very close to, I'm not sure if that could be a contributing factor in this as well.

I hope my 2 cents may help.
I have been too meditating and advancing for years, with problems, but everything was under control and life was liveable.
I recently discovered how my father controlled my life at the unconscious level, and began detaching him. I also most recently recalled past and suppressed memories of my childhood, involving him, that brought to the surface extreme bad feelings. Also, my energy levels dropped considerably due to the fight with the vampire, attempt to detach, and emotional turmoil.
This really put me down as never happened before, and still is.
I think, this deceased parent may have been a strong influence on you and you are maybe unconsciously trying to let him/her go and detach? This may really put you heavily down, depending on the severity of the emotional/chakra links you have.

Not sure if it's your case but I'd consider this eventuality.
Hope this helps,

 

[Demonic]

Thank you for the reply, I should probably say though, I started doing the sun square to try to offset the saturn transit because I thought that was what was causing this. It can't be making it worse can it?

As far as cleaning goes throughout the day, honestly I'm at the limit of what I can do really. If I had to do any more that what I'm doing I probably wouldn't have time to meditate properly. Plus I'm just so worn out and tired from this, but when I got to bed I have trouble sleeping so I'm even more tired in the day. I will try what you say with surya though and see how it is. I know suicide is no good, I really don't want to do that, I want this to be over and to get better. I have a great deal to live for and I want to live and keep taking part in it, I just don't want to feel like I can't cope with this anymore.

Ohh, sorry i misunderstood, i thought you were going for natal saturn.

From my knowledge i m pretty sure it cant make transiting saturn any worse but will only ease the negativity and even completely negate it.

Considering you have dont have enough time to put into meditaions, from my pov i see blitz's advice best. That is to work on self confidence.

It only makes sense as you will be more confident in your workings thus serving as an all rounder, automatically tremendously making a difference in your aop in positive manner.

 

[Hvítr Ormr]

What you say makes a lot of sense here, I'd been wondering myself if my parent's death was a catalyst or even the cause of this, considering this only started happening after they died, and never has happened before. I really wish I could talk more about that but I just don't wanna give myself away, so I'm kinda paranoid to do so.


It's ok, no need to apologize. I should've probably made it clearer what I was doing exactly. I wanted to say though, to you and anyone else reading this, trying to be more confident is actually helping. Simply by telling myself "my aura isn't getting dirty, i'm fine" and "my AOP is powerful enough and working correctly" and also just trying not to focus on it or think about throughout the day actually seems to be working somewhat. I've gone from feeling like I need to do returning curses to clean my aura every 2 hours or so, to every 6-7 hours over the last couple of days, so that's gotta mean I'm improving right?

 

[Alexandros Iowno [JG]]

" post_id=362283 time=1654347411 user_id=21286]

So this really is just a self confidence issue then? I'm either making the negative energy manifest myself where there isn't any by "expecting it", or by not believing that my AOP can keep out the curses is making it so it doesn't? This would make sense I suppose whichever it is. Thank you for all this information then, I will try and work on my self confidence more, hopefully that will help to fix this.


Yes you're right aren't you, I must still be protected, by my own AOP and by the gods of hell. To be honest, even with as foul as these energies have felt constantly nothing bad has actually happened to me since this started, just the overwhelming negative energies and fear that I couldn't cope with it that came with it. I know my parent's soul is safe, I didn't mention this but they were an SS. They saw some JOS material I was reading once years and years ago and asked me about it, I told them what it was and they wanted to know more. Next thing I knew, they'd read the JOS website and dedicated, I was really happy. That's why it hurts so much to lose them, I was really close with them and they were the only person I had irl to talk about this stuff with, and they're gone now.

Well, earlier I tried to just tell myself that my aura isn't getting dirty, my AOP is working and keeping out the curses, and it seemed to work kind of. Is this what I need to do, just tell myself I'm ok and try not to think about it?


Thank you for the reply, I should probably say though, I started doing the sun square to try to offset the saturn transit because I thought that was what was causing this. It can't be making it worse can it?

As far as cleaning goes throughout the day, honestly I'm at the limit of what I can do really. If I had to do any more that what I'm doing I probably wouldn't have time to meditate properly. Plus I'm just so worn out and tired from this, but when I got to bed I have trouble sleeping so I'm even more tired in the day. I will try what you say with surya though and see how it is. I know suicide is no good, I really don't want to do that, I want this to be over and to get better. I have a great deal to live for and I want to live and keep taking part in it, I just don't want to feel like I can't cope with this anymore.

I have a somewhat similar situation shared with you, however from what I learned, as you are both SS, there's absolutely no reason of suffering and the discomfort must be put to use for betterment.

Your parent is very well taken care of by very high beings, they are also aware and you must be as well, aware, that life never stops and there's a continuum of movement everywhere.

Your emotions and reactions must be entertained positively, such as putting them with and on the right focus. For example anger while it is very pushing and might seem uncontrolled, can be fruitful when used on the appropriate workings such as RTRs. Or you can learn to simply exhale it safely in the cosmos.

Your confidence issues are normal given your planetary influence and also loss of authority, parent. This is a time for you to become your own authority and accept your value as a human, in every aspect of it.

What you lack and your perceived " failure" is simply a misuse of your resources and structures. For example doubt as a feeling and state of mind can be switched to curiosity. Curiosity will bring knowledge and also confidence. Self blaming can be switched to self betterment, by knowing what you are pretentious of yourself.

I think you will benefit a lot from cleaning and meditating on all of your chakras. If you feel overwhelmed by anything you can do color meditation of blue, green and ether. Engulf your aura with this color and meditate on it.

Regarding your questions on doubt and curses again, this is simply resolved by a logical line of thought. Remember this and write it down.

You need to do every day protection and cleaning. You think, believe, have a gut feeling that something is wrong and whatever "curse" thought settles in. You proceed to do your aop and cleaning. You finish with conviction and that's it.

If doubt comes after in your mind, remember your mind with pride and power that you have dealt already with this. You opened you mouth, you raised energy and affirmed your safety.

Want to be more proud and powerful, you do returning curses 1&2. Any other doubt, Ill feeling afterwards is to be ignored in the most arrogant and egotistical way ever. Until the next day, and you do it again. Everyday, 9 days, 18 days, a month, two months, 100 years.

Think also, you have business to attend to, do you have time to obsess over abstract and none existent things in your day? If that's so then it is also a matter of keeping your mind busy, which in your case must be busy with grounding. Doing physical tasks, material things.

Do not let your mind and yourself have time to fantasize anything. You did it, you done it. That's it. It is very technical, straight to the point action that you do and works. Any doubt on this is only a positive curiosity that is used to improve, not to defeat yourself.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

What you say makes a lot of sense here, I'd been wondering myself if my parent's death was a catalyst or even the cause of this, considering this only started happening after they died, and never has happened before. I really wish I could talk more about that but I just don't wanna give myself away, so I'm kinda paranoid to do so.

I understand, I am disclosing some details about me as I will close this account once I will solve the matter and the enemy will stay with a bunch of "nothing" about me once I will "vanish". Both as an account and as traumatized "persona".

What i can add is, I recalled hidden memories only now that the offender (my father) is getting weaker and going towards death, as he's considerably old and I feel his energies are dropping.
I feel like, his will managed to keep memories repressed and keep in a sort of "floating" mind state, where I could not see he was bad for me. Now that he is weakening, all the bad feelings may emerge.
This is how I perceive it is working for me, and I read many cases on the internet where people have been able to recall traumatic events only many years later. Possible due to the offender's will, or psychich vampire.

So if your parent died his will sort of disappeared, and its effects on you are no more noticeable.
In my case this opened the "pandora's box".

 

[Demonic]

It's ok, no need to apologize. I should've probably made it clearer what I was doing exactly. I wanted to say though, to you and anyone else reading this, trying to be more confident is actually helping. Simply by telling myself "my aura isn't getting dirty, i'm fine" and "my AOP is powerful enough and working correctly" and also just trying not to focus on it or think about throughout the day actually seems to be working somewhat. I've gone from feeling like I need to do returning curses to clean my aura every 2 hours or so, to every 6-7 hours over the last couple of days, so that's gotta mean I'm improving right?

YES! You are improving along with your mental and physical state

You have this ball rolling now, continue to do it and make it into much bigger ball of positivity, confidence and motivation.

Affirm the same to yourself often. After yoga while laying in corpse pose(will help a lot), before sleep , after waking up. Doing these mental affirmations often you are improving and will continue to significantly improve your situation.

Naked's pluto advice of having an egoistic mind will also solidify your belief and will, i have myself used it in recent past, last month to be exact.

Be like "nothing can touch me", "i m so powerful nothing can deteriorate my will and confidence!!" , "nothing penetrates my AOP" ,"I m above all".

Combined all with self confidence working, it will do wonders. If you lack time you can do lower reps (40-60) and it will make significant difference.

Now you have this grasp of confidence hold on to it and keep on working it and make it bigger.

You got this!! You are defeating everything that you see as negative.

 

[Demonic]

It's ok, no need to apologize. I should've probably made it clearer what I was doing exactly. I wanted to say though, to you and anyone else reading this, trying to be more confident is actually helping. Simply by telling myself "my aura isn't getting dirty, i'm fine" and "my AOP is powerful enough and working correctly" and also just trying not to focus on it or think about throughout the day actually seems to be working somewhat. I've gone from feeling like I need to do returning curses to clean my aura every 2 hours or so, to every 6-7 hours over the last couple of days, so that's gotta mean I'm improving right?

YES! You are improving along with your mental and physical state

You have this ball rolling now, continue to do it and make it into much bigger ball of positivity, confidence and motivation.

Affirm the same to yourself often. After yoga while laying in corpse pose(will help a lot), before sleep , after waking up. Doing these mental affirmations often you are improving and will continue to significantly improve your situation.

Naked's pluto advice of having an egoistic mind will also solidify your belief and will, i have myself used it in recent past, last month to be exact.

Be like "nothing can touch me", "i m so powerful nothing can deteriorate my will and confidence!!" , "nothing penetrates my AOP" ,"I m above all".

Combined all with self confidence working, it will do wonders. If you lack time you can do lower reps (40-60) and it will make significant difference.

Now you have this grasp of confidence hold on to it and keep on working it and make it bigger.

You got this!! You are defeating everything that you see as negative.

when i said 40-60 reps i meant it for self-confidence working using sowilo or any solar energy, not these affirmations.

 

[Hvítr Ormr]

Well, I just wanted to say things seem to be improving even more. I managed to go 24 hours today without feeling like I'm being cursed and needing to do returning curses. All just by having more confidence in myself and my abilities, and by vibrating sowilo into my solar chakra. Having an egotistical mind about this is definitely helping a lot like you say. I'm just amazed it seems like been this easy to feel better, I can't believe I actually felt like I was done for a week or so ago. I don't know if the issue is fully fixed yet but it looks like it's definitely heading in that direction.

I also want to say thank you to you and to everyone who replied in this thread and helped me, because you all really did help me a lot. I almost can't believe how much better I've been feeling the past few days, but I have to believe it because it's happening.

 

[Henu the Great]

Well, I just wanted to say things seem to be improving even more. I managed to go 24 hours today without feeling like I'm being cursed and needing to do returning curses. All just by having more confidence in myself and my abilities, and by vibrating sowilo into my solar chakra. Having an egotistical mind about this is definitely helping a lot like you say. I'm just amazed it seems like been this easy to feel better, I can't believe I actually felt like I was done for a week or so ago. I don't know if the issue is fully fixed yet but it looks like it's definitely heading in that direction.

I also want to say thank you to you and to everyone who replied in this thread and helped me, because you all really did help me a lot. I almost can't believe how much better I've been feeling the past few days, but I have to believe it because it's happening.

You might have heard "you are what you eat" and it applies to what you think as well. One has to be careful how one processes life, and it becomes more and more important as you grow.

 

[Demonic]

Well, I just wanted to say things seem to be improving even more. I managed to go 24 hours today without feeling like I'm being cursed and needing to do returning curses. All just by having more confidence in myself and my abilities, and by vibrating sowilo into my solar chakra. Having an egotistical mind about this is definitely helping a lot like you say. I'm just amazed it seems like been this easy to feel better, I can't believe I actually felt like I was done for a week or so ago. I don't know if the issue is fully fixed yet but it looks like it's definitely heading in that direction.

I also want to say thank you to you and to everyone who replied in this thread and helped me, because you all really did help me a lot. I almost can't believe how much better I've been feeling the past few days, but I have to believe it because it's happening.

Thats it! Really happy for you. <3

Step by step you are restoring everything, even better than before.

Along with thanking us thank yourself as well, feel that pride, confident and strong spirit of yourself,you didnt choose to back down, you are a warrior.

 

[Demonic]

Hope the things are much better now.
I would like to know how its going if its okay with you.

 

[Hvítr Ormr]

Hope the things are much better now.
I would like to know how its going if its okay with you.

Hi there, yes I was intending to make a follow up post to this to let everyone who helped me know how I'm doing so this is a good opportunity to do so. I'm sorry it's taken me such a long time to get to it.

Thankfully, I'm actually doing a lot better now. I still get slight trouble with the negative energies occasionally, but I since I know that it's something that's ultimately coming from myself rather than the enemy I'm a lot better at dealing with it than I was. This past couple of months or so I've been feeling much, much more positive and relaxed than I was when I first made this thread, so that's good I suppose.

I want to say truly thank you to everyone who helped me in this thread, because you really did help.

 

[Demonic]

....

You are welcome. Glad to hear that. Keep up with your meditations.

 

[Satnam666]

If you're being attacked they said that aura of protection,an aura cleaning helps, their is also doing the RTR's, imagine the curses being broken completely on yourself, an all humanity