Personal Testimonial Part 2

[EriktheRed]

There seems to be the general impression here that I'm a wide eyed novice or wet behind the ears with Spiritual Satanism, so the time has come for clarification. I did give a short testimonial (Empire of the Gods), but should've mentioned I have been in the background, off and on, for about 6 years.
I'm never one to rush into things and I'm very aware of the scams and pitfalls of the internet. I have thoroughly read up on the htpps://joyofsatan.org website and spent many hours reading the sermons on both here and in htpps://satanslibrary.org. I actually dedicated to Father Satan about 6 months ago and seriously started up meditation and yoga. This is when all the knowledge started to make sense and I experienced real proof of Spiritual Satanism in my life.
Some are probably thinking, "why didn't he say this in the first place"? Because it's best to let people think you're a wet behind the ears beginner so they fully explain everything - and I simply didn't have to tell anyone. If you think I've been dishonest, then that's your hangup!
I didn't expect there to be some of the recent problems I've experienced and now think it best I get the record straight.
I know I'm still in the learning stage, but so are all of us, it's just a matter of semantics.
As most have noticed, I'm experiencing some problems, both with meditation and also with forum protocols and rules of behaviour. But I know these are just teething problems and will sort themselves out with time. This is why it gets a bit tedious when some people won't move on and keep 'digging-up-old-bones' - let it go and let's get on with it!
Everything I have said about JoS being a real and integral part of my life is true. Even if I had left the forum (which was a dumb thing to suggest), I still would've stayed with Satan and the Gods, and would've kept going on in the background.
One problem, and also a blessing in disguise, is the great diversity of personalities and opinions here. It might be a pain in the ass sometimes, but it's one heck of a way to learn. It reminds me of the school playground sometimes, but with a sense of real purpose and truth.
So, there you have it in a nutshell, and please call me "Erik".

 

[HPS Lydia]

The fact that you spent over 5 years before dedicating, shows that you are very disconnected from your Higher Self and your Heart. Many of us knew the JoS was the Truth when we first saw it and dedicated immediately.

So perhaps the reason you seem to be at odds with many people here, is because how can you connect with other people, if you cannot connect with yourself....

^Meditate on that for a while.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

This post is just you proving you're a beginner while saying I am not a beginner.

No one cares if you're a beginner or if you read the JoS 5 years ago. Get your ego balanced up and start growing.

 

[BlackOnyx8 [JG]]

The amount of time you spend here is not necessarily equivalent to the quality of time. If you've spent six years here and you still give off the impression that you're still a novice, that's because you still are, and if you wish to change that you need to change your approach to life in general. I don't say this in a negative way; this applies to all areas of life. If what you've been doing for a considerable amount of time has not been leading you to higher levels, then you must change your method. Maybe reread things with a renewed perspective and overall try to develop a mindset more compatible with the road you wish to walk.

You seem to be engaging in a lot of gaslighting lately, and whether this was deliberate or inadvertent, I guess we'll find out in due time. However, the fact of the matter is that things have not happened in the way you purported them to be. Naturally, this raises doubts about the genuineness of your intentions. Some of the things you have said and the way you have said them show that there's more than meets the eye.

The reason people keep "digging up old bones" is because you give them reasons to. Your actions are not proportionate to what was done or said to you. So when you say things about others in unjust terms, people naturally have to defend themselves. When you talk about someone, you need to be able to withstand the criticism that might entail. Discussions and clashes of personalities happen everywhere as people's energies are different, and what distinguishes us adults, especially those in the Joy Of Satan, from what you equate to a school playground is the ability for everyone to introspect and meditate on their words and actions and acknowledge where they could improve so that everyone can move on in compatible ways because in case you haven't noticed, this isn't playground - what goes on in this place is very serious and there is serious work that needs to be done. You were given apologies (which in my opinion you didn't fully deserve in the first place) because people acknowledged that their actions might have been somewhat disproportionate and emotional even though you had brought them upon yourself; that should be enough to make you understand (or others who read what you write) that these accusations are not accurate. If you find it hard to interact with others in a constructive way, perhaps you should refrain from attempting to do so for as while, and meditate on your own self like JG Lydia suggested, as ignoring it would further escalate problems were none exist in the first place.

If you're truly dedicated to Satan and the Gods, but also to yourself, you should look at this with a growth mindset and consider your actions and your words before you further act on them. You need to meditate on these things and look at what you're doing so that you can identify where you can improve as a person. There's probably no other place in the world where you'd find people who are genuinely ready to let go of their idea about someone if that person is fully willing to grow and let go of past limitations. Further, nobody will ever "target" you for no apparent reason, as I explained before, even though your words make it seem otherwise. This does not correspond to reality, even though you may or may not perceive it in this way.

 

[SapphireDragon]

The reason you keep running into issue with everyone is because you have been coming off hostile and agitating situations. Not a very good impression to give others.

You display too much Hypersensitivity. You should try working on temper and building your relationship with others in this forum. You say you've been here a long time.. undoubtedly you've then seen troll behaviors and what negative impact they bring, so you should know already how not to behave, but as you said, it's a learning experience.

The last troll to instigate and cause agitation in the forums, Primal, he went out of his way to constantly pick fights and be disrespectful towards everyone. You certainly must have been around for this.

If you want people to respect you, you must respect them back. It's an equal exchange. And your years of experience.. hold no weight in that matter because as far as everyone here is concerned you are a newbie to the forums. You must work your way up as you've said.

You'll need to earn trust by being trustworthy. You'll earn respect by being respectful. You'll make friends by being friendly. you'll advance by putting in the personal work and it will show in your actions. You won't need to defend it, it will show.

And you'll learn by letting the advice of good meaning people not fall on ears that know everything, yet let nothing inside.

 

[HPS Lydia]

My father was a chronic alcoholic and my mother a shzchophenic. It's a miracle myself and siblings got through it. The state did not do the right thing by most of us. One of my siblings was adopted out and I've never seen him.

That's very sad. You can do a working to be reunited with your sibling. Wunjo rune, this coming full Moon in Sagittarius, June 3. There are avenues that can be taken to reunite with siblings, websites and so on.