Obsessive Thoughts? Belief Vs Intent?

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Hello everyone,

I made this throwaway account for a specific problem I've been facing since late March. Despite this being embarrassing and silly, I hope to learn more about the mind and magic through the end of it all. I've unfortunately had a history of OCD.

Though I've gotten better at handling it through meditation, topics around sexuality flare it up it seems. At some point back in summer 2020, I developed anxiety against cuckoldry that I kept fighting until February this year. I got over it by affirming to myself that I am who I choose to be and how my surface layer thoughts aren't who I am.

I thought I got a handle over my OCD, though something else happened. Back in March, I basically forced myself to think about sex. I tried immersing myself in my thoughts as if it was currently happening, just believing something would come of fruition if I believed, felt, and continuously had these thoughts. Then somehow my mind got to worrying about "what if?"

I got to worrying about my potency, even thought I had absolutely no reason to. I would say for a few days I had intrusive negative thoughts around this that I anxiously fought against by affirming my fertility, imagining it, and all that jazz. Ever since I got over that immediate hurdle, I felt like my mind has been in the same state of mind.

My mind won't allow itself to have negative affirming thoughts like "impotent" like I did my first few days and finds that's repulsive, but there's this tinge feeling of anxiety I feel everyday that make me feel compelled to affirm my potency. So I imagine myself impregnating and I guess "feeling" like I'm potent. Then that anxious feeling happens again. I was also worrying about the 40 day mark, but I already passed that.

Even though I believe my intentions are in the right place, I feel like a lunatic and wonder if my emotions impact me regardless. It's like I want to believe I'm okay, but my anxiety and emotions are confusing me. What would even be the difference between belief and emotion in this instance? I'm just really confused. With magic in general, would having these conflicting thoughts, emotions, and intentions just make everything negligible? That's what I'm hoping on. I deeply appreciate any support and points of view, I know this sounds loony and wish nothing more to just get over it all. I've tried fixing and emotionally understanding why it's all silly, but I'm still struggling. Thank you.

 

[BlackOnyx8 [JG]]

There is no need for throwaway accounts anymore. You can just use the Ask Satan Service.

In the context of magick, emotions and beliefs hold significant influence and can affect the effectiveness of your workings. But your intention is key, you have to keep reinforcing your intentions. Addressing deeply ingrained issues in your subconscious mind takes time and perfection isn't always necessary, consistency will get you there. Instead of worrying, remain aware of these emotions and beliefs, and actively strive to overcome them whenever they arise.

If you find that your current affirmations are not yielding the desired results, it may be beneficial to strengthen your approach. This could involve refining your affirmations to make them more precise and powerful. Additionally, using them in the context of self-hypnosis or adding an energetic component to your affirmations will enhance their effectiveness. Make sure to consider the timing with respect to the Moon phase and sign and avoid the Void of Course if you choose to start an actual working. In this case, I would suggest the runes Wunjo + Sowilo as Wunjo heals the mind, and both empower your confidence and self-esteem. An even stronger approach would be a working with the Munka word of power, as the issue is likely karmic.

This brings me to my next point - it would be beneficial to engage in introspective meditation and explore the root causes of the underlying psychological issues of this anxiety, you may be suffering from some sort of past trauma. By delving deep into your thoughts and emotions, you gain valuable insights that can assist you in addressing these things more effectively. Additionally, astrology could also help in that regard.

On a last piece of advice on mindset, avoid owning these limitations by saying things like 'my OCD' or 'my anxiety'. These challenges do not define who you are. Have faith that you can ultimately break free from them. Embrace an absolute belief that you have the power to fully overcome and transcend these obstacles and don't be so hard on yourself.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

...

A weak will can hurt your workings, but it won't totally destroy them unless you totally give up on yourself.

You need to do a full working, not just affirmations. Raise Thurisaz and affirm your potency with this instead. Started on a correct date, you will feel this strongly.

You may want to switch the affirmation to just generally improve your Martian aspect of your soul, because this will help your confidence as well, which seems to be a secondary problem as well. It is not a coincidence that you are both anxious and feeling impotent, as Mars can relate to both of these things.

 

[PeacefulAlgorithm]

Wouldn't surprise me if this was some curse against gentiles. I recall things were quieter both on 4chan and for me (astrally) when Israel had that uprising a while ago.

It seemed like on the old yahoo forum, there was some sacral chakra attack.

What kind of security workings are you doing? You may want to try free positive white colored energy programmed with: "In a positive manner for me this energy is making it so that an attack against me is being reflected".

Perhaps it could be depletion/overload if you're using too much energy.

 

[General Yeager]

Of you have OCD ,then you can use it to your advantage. You can constantly mentally repeat a daily Affirmation,mantra or better yet AUM. Mentally repeating AUM is called Omkara which is said to gradually burn away karma.