Renita
Member
On this day, many different events have happened that I would really like to share. It was around 3 or 4 at the time when my mother had left for groceries. I had suddenly felt such claiming peace, something that I have never felt before. I did not feel anything but calmness. I felt at peace with myself and my emotions. It felt so good, I felt stuck in the now, not thinking about the past or future. My window was also open at this time, the cold air also playing a part.
I felt a sexual need a few min into this calm episode. I did not understand it, but it felt much different from previous times. For the first time, my touch seemed to be my another thing, as if at the same time something or someone else was feeling those emotions and touch as well. It was strange but interesting feeling. After finishing I felt different, not exactly how I usually did. I felt the need to go outside so I did. At that moment I felt a voice in my head, a male one. I was scared at first unaware of who it was. I asked its name and the voice answered with Belial. As I was walking through the woods that we have near our house, I asked him questions and he answered to his capability. As I was leaving the woods, I could almost hear the woods breathing, as if I was breathing with the Earth. My breath sped up just like my heart. I called to Belial but he did not answer.
I have now come home and am trying to figure out all of this. I am in fear of this all being some tricker spirit or if my illness has truly gotten to me. Before all of this I had stopped meditating for a while due to some other issues. This morning I had started over again and had asked Father Satan to give me another chance to let me advance once more. I know this may all seem weird and delusional and I really need something to ground me right now. I feel a bit panicked too. Any questions or answered are thanked. I really hope I'm not going insane. Thank you and HS.
I felt a sexual need a few min into this calm episode. I did not understand it, but it felt much different from previous times. For the first time, my touch seemed to be my another thing, as if at the same time something or someone else was feeling those emotions and touch as well. It was strange but interesting feeling. After finishing I felt different, not exactly how I usually did. I felt the need to go outside so I did. At that moment I felt a voice in my head, a male one. I was scared at first unaware of who it was. I asked its name and the voice answered with Belial. As I was walking through the woods that we have near our house, I asked him questions and he answered to his capability. As I was leaving the woods, I could almost hear the woods breathing, as if I was breathing with the Earth. My breath sped up just like my heart. I called to Belial but he did not answer.
I have now come home and am trying to figure out all of this. I am in fear of this all being some tricker spirit or if my illness has truly gotten to me. Before all of this I had stopped meditating for a while due to some other issues. This morning I had started over again and had asked Father Satan to give me another chance to let me advance once more. I know this may all seem weird and delusional and I really need something to ground me right now. I feel a bit panicked too. Any questions or answered are thanked. I really hope I'm not going insane. Thank you and HS.
