Shadowcat
Well-known member
As an SS, I am writing this not only as a statement and testimony to the success of certain manifestations and help from the Gods But also to encourage and inspire other SS who may struggle with doubt about the Gods, magick, and this path in general. If someone thinks for one moment that any negativity in life comes from Father Satan or any of the Gods, then they do not understand the planets, transits how removing negative karma works, or that amplifying certain aspects or planetary energies can embolden and strengthen certain blockages which can cause problems. IF YOU ARE SS AND ARE EXPERIENCING NEGATIVITY IN LIFE EVEN IF IT SEEMS CONSISTENT AND PROGRESSING, THIS IS NOT THE FAULT OF THE GODS, OR DEMONS OR WORKING WITH THEM IN ANY WAY AT ALL. Transits happen, life happens, and negativity is a part of life. If you want it removed you have to work for it and doing so isn't automatically going to keep you from all of it either. If you believe this you are delusional and very entitled. The Gods aren't going to baby you 24/7. This is going to be a bit long so if you care to read on, only do so if you care to or have time.
In recent years I have gone through a lot. I went through my Saturn return, broke up with a selfish narcissistic partner who had a toxic family, and dedicated to Satan all at the same time right before making a big move back home to the USA after being an idiot for making a poor choice that wasted my 20s. My emphasis on advancement was almost solely on the spiritual side of things. As time went on I began progressively focusing on the material and external, especially when I started working many hours. My Guardian had helped me in finally making a decision to move back home before then. And when I did it wasn't long before I found work..even during the pandemic! Welders and fitters are essential so I never went without. The pandemic had ZERO effect on me. I even had contact with someone before flying back home who had COVID-19 and ended up in the hospital, and I did not get sick. Although I started making a lot more money, the many hours and getting sick on every job I went on was taxing. I would pray to my Guardian and ask for direction, and sure enough after getting on another job after a bad sinus infection, I was asked if I wanted to work nukes. These are power plants that use nuclear fission to generate electricity.
On one of these jobs, I got placed with some pipefitters who tried to convince me to join their local. Even before this, I had been wanting to join the fitters because I was tired of getting boiler flu, and wanted longer jobs with better work hours, especially because I wanted to buy a house. I had started to make a daily affirmation of being a pipefitter making over 40 dollars an hour for around 40 hours a week. I had also been wanting to move up north for some time because union is stronger, and given so much of the south (especially my parts of it) was almost all non-whites, I wanted better dating prospects. I eventually transferred to a pipefitter local down south that ended up sending me here up north for another nuke job....the union local they sent me to on a travel card to had a lot of local work and long-term jobs with good work-life balance. I had some people on my crew who hated me, but I still succeeded in getting my licenses and transferred to the local up here! Ever since then I have had an excellent work-life balance for the most part and have been making good money and am saving good money for a house. I live in a safe all-white neighborhood (the majority of this state is white unless you go to the shitty twin cities), And was even able to befriend some other pagans, one of whom I work with often!
At first despite material success, due to transits and other things, some social aspects of my life were very rocky...and lonely. And I still took abuse from a lot of people, online and in real life. I had people who were cruel to me for no reason or bothered me for being different, especially at work. they talked behind my back too, especially one (I'm sure he is actually a jew) I ran into women who used me and took advantage of me or took me for granted. I had radfem leftist alphabet soup mafia women and others tell me what I was looking for in a partner was unreasonable and unrealistic. I got bashed online for being butch constantly as I looked for a partner on apps and other places. I was told that I would never find what I wanted in an actual lesbian. As Saturn hit my Venus mercilessly, it not only affected my love life but also my pocket book....to the point of almost being broke especially when the orb closed in. Then right at that moment as I wished I could find 2 plus thousand dollars on the ground that morning, I went to work and I was told I had a savings fund from my union I could utilize....and there it was...over 2k. On top of this, the money mantra I had done the year before paid off, seemingly just at a time of need because I was overpaid 5k which I was never forced to pay back and it was never garnished. It may have been my own energy working. but I feel the Gods helped direct it to the right moment and it was a lifesaver!
After doing several squares that brought up things that were particularly painful and going through failed dates and finally cutting some people off, very recently after that something amazing happened! It was as if the blockage had to be removed to make way for this amazing change and manifestation. I met my perfect now SS GF on Samhain! And during her lunar return! She swiped on my profile the night before and I saw it at work. We arranged for a first date that very same day. We clicked so well and ended up seeing each other for 4 consecutive days after and then every weekend....until I helped her move house. So many synchronicities were happening and she told me about things she experienced before she knew me....things pertaining to ME, even before we met! Right around the time I moved to this state, she had mentioned that seen omens that pertained to finding her person. She feels close to foxes and knew beforehand if she saw a fox it met her soulmate was near. Around the time I was preparing to move up here, she saw two foxes and she felt that energy..and broke down and cried. On her date with me we both saw a fox..(before she told me the significance of this animal for her)...she said this never happened with her exes. We kept seeing omens with foxes after this...I even realized a cologne I bought shortly before we met was named "oh fox" (and it happened to be her favorite scent when I wore it) Beforehand as I too looked for my person i asked where is she and a thought came.."she is in mourning and needs time to heal." When we met and got close I told her of this....and that maybe if we had met earlier she would not have been ready to recieve me....she agreed. She is very open psychically and can often see things before they happen. I feel she has worked on her soul in other lifetimes. Strangely before meeting her i felt prompted to buy certain clothing items i felt i liked....ones she turned out to prefer. I saw a haircut in a video I really liked and felpt prompted to try....and eventually found 666 in the video. When she met me she was nuts about my hair and how i dressed because i put in effort and always will.
She was going on to me about how she had written about someone like me in her diaries...how i fit so perfectly to this, how she had been wanting this forever and ever. I literally saw this long list of what she wanted in someone and i fit every single one of those boxes....down to eye color, presentation, deepness of voice, personality, preferences and energy....there was even a brief mention of this person having ties to ancient Rome..and I have roman and greek roots!!..there was even mention of feelings of being with said person in her diaries from past lives!!!!! and I have been told by HPS Lydia I have a girl from a past life I was meant to meet again...I almost was skeptical until my GF showed me all this in person in written form, with the writings completely predating the time that we had physically and virtually met, and by a couple years!! And the dates were written the day of each time she was writing! the nuances of these writings also indicated she could practically feel I was close to encountering her soon after them and she concurred this to me! We both confided in the affirmations we had also done to attract one another....I had also been doing sex magick and she literally fits these affirmations in everyday...literally compatible to my existence in every way....and attractive!!!
We are both against woke culture and lgbt nonsense...our synastry is impeccable and we communicate amazingly. She is very conventionally feminine outwardly and psychologically and so extremely kind and nurturing.....no one has ever been so kind and thoughtful to me as she. She doesn't have a chip on her shoulder like so many...or throw me under the bus or use me for my wallet, although i spend on her freely and happily because she takes care of me in other ways which is all i want. She comforts me when i am unsettled, even during a frustration outburst. she doesn't take them personally or hate me for them. she knows how to diffuse me and be there for me. She doesn't compare me to others or accuse me for wanting attention if i express that i am unwell. No one but literally my mother was so nurturing, sweetly fussy or kind to me, emotionally available and present etc. everyone else I have ever dated or even remotely romantically considered pales in comparison and 98 percent of these took me for granted or manipulated me or wanted to use me, or wanted me to conform to an idea. And I literally shortly before I met her, called off a date with a girl that accused me of "toxic masculinity" for wanting everything she truly is and gives to me. She even goes out of her way to look out for me and leaves cute little notes in my lunch when I go to work. She has got up in the middle of the night to get me medicine when i was sick! She is proud of and takes care of herself. She spites everything anyone has ever told me about being unrealisitc, and she has had this experience as well. WE both have had people in our lives repeatedly tell us our standards for physical attraction and sexual wants and emotional compatibility were unobtainable....us meeting one another spites every single one of those naysayers and anyone that has ever tried to curse us or throw hate our way. Our sex drives are both high, and we are lucky to have found someone we both find attractive and loyal who is strictly monogamous and doesn't look for validation on social media. We do almost everything together when we don't work, including going to the gym.
Even with the little things we are compatible....shortly before meeting her, I was lamenting one morning about an itch on my back saying "i wish i had a pretty femme GF with long nails who could give me scratches" literally next thing i knew....there she was! (and she loves getting her nails done) She also works from home and would like to travel with me if i have to go work a construction job elsewhere, although i told her it would be a last resort. She right off the bat was open to Satanism and was avid about studying the site with me and sure enough.....she dedicated! Today as i write this she is on the last day of her 40 day program and will soon engage in RTRs with me.
I mentioned before in other posts, that when I finally came to terms with who i was and who i wanted, it was on the day we begun the ritual to Janus of Beltanes eve 2023. The night before right after i had done RTRS and asked a Demon to help clean my aura, Lord Set came to my mind, his name anyway. I felt a sudden sadness and feeling of loss (at the time i thought i might have an incubus and was trying to be close and the feeling of loss was related to this). earlier that same year, i remembered trying to Summon Sitri asking for help why i could not find a partner, and what was wrong with me etc. So the night when i was having that feeling i had a thought that came to me that said "you will thank us later." Then the next day something happened to me that finally revealed why i would have certain feelings and passing attractions....to women. something i kept pushing away. I thought at first i was sent a succubus instead. I remember emailing HPHC and he was kind enough to take the time to put into perspective for me how my mind was going through a form of self actualization, (which i am convince was helped by sun squares), and that there was no actual succubus. The perspective was very helpful and very grounding.
No pain no gain you are not a precious snowflake that will be immune to all adversity but you can be shown how to get through it. It's hard at times but it doesn't make this the Gods fault or that they do not care. You just have to life! Here i am now with a good job, not getting sick on every job anymore, saving for a house with good credit and no debt, living amongst my own people, with someone I love and a good work-life balance!
Here i am with my girl, we are both SS...and we are both so grateful and happy....and going back to being told i would be thankful later...yes I am! Thank the Gods for everything in my and our lives! And this post is a thanks to them as well, by showing and inspiring others to trust and not walk away from the Gods at anytime! Thank you Sitri! Thank you so much Father Satan, my Guardian Abrasax and Gods of hell..FOR EVERYTHING!
HAIL SATAN!!!!
In recent years I have gone through a lot. I went through my Saturn return, broke up with a selfish narcissistic partner who had a toxic family, and dedicated to Satan all at the same time right before making a big move back home to the USA after being an idiot for making a poor choice that wasted my 20s. My emphasis on advancement was almost solely on the spiritual side of things. As time went on I began progressively focusing on the material and external, especially when I started working many hours. My Guardian had helped me in finally making a decision to move back home before then. And when I did it wasn't long before I found work..even during the pandemic! Welders and fitters are essential so I never went without. The pandemic had ZERO effect on me. I even had contact with someone before flying back home who had COVID-19 and ended up in the hospital, and I did not get sick. Although I started making a lot more money, the many hours and getting sick on every job I went on was taxing. I would pray to my Guardian and ask for direction, and sure enough after getting on another job after a bad sinus infection, I was asked if I wanted to work nukes. These are power plants that use nuclear fission to generate electricity.
On one of these jobs, I got placed with some pipefitters who tried to convince me to join their local. Even before this, I had been wanting to join the fitters because I was tired of getting boiler flu, and wanted longer jobs with better work hours, especially because I wanted to buy a house. I had started to make a daily affirmation of being a pipefitter making over 40 dollars an hour for around 40 hours a week. I had also been wanting to move up north for some time because union is stronger, and given so much of the south (especially my parts of it) was almost all non-whites, I wanted better dating prospects. I eventually transferred to a pipefitter local down south that ended up sending me here up north for another nuke job....the union local they sent me to on a travel card to had a lot of local work and long-term jobs with good work-life balance. I had some people on my crew who hated me, but I still succeeded in getting my licenses and transferred to the local up here! Ever since then I have had an excellent work-life balance for the most part and have been making good money and am saving good money for a house. I live in a safe all-white neighborhood (the majority of this state is white unless you go to the shitty twin cities), And was even able to befriend some other pagans, one of whom I work with often!
At first despite material success, due to transits and other things, some social aspects of my life were very rocky...and lonely. And I still took abuse from a lot of people, online and in real life. I had people who were cruel to me for no reason or bothered me for being different, especially at work. they talked behind my back too, especially one (I'm sure he is actually a jew) I ran into women who used me and took advantage of me or took me for granted. I had radfem leftist alphabet soup mafia women and others tell me what I was looking for in a partner was unreasonable and unrealistic. I got bashed online for being butch constantly as I looked for a partner on apps and other places. I was told that I would never find what I wanted in an actual lesbian. As Saturn hit my Venus mercilessly, it not only affected my love life but also my pocket book....to the point of almost being broke especially when the orb closed in. Then right at that moment as I wished I could find 2 plus thousand dollars on the ground that morning, I went to work and I was told I had a savings fund from my union I could utilize....and there it was...over 2k. On top of this, the money mantra I had done the year before paid off, seemingly just at a time of need because I was overpaid 5k which I was never forced to pay back and it was never garnished. It may have been my own energy working. but I feel the Gods helped direct it to the right moment and it was a lifesaver!
After doing several squares that brought up things that were particularly painful and going through failed dates and finally cutting some people off, very recently after that something amazing happened! It was as if the blockage had to be removed to make way for this amazing change and manifestation. I met my perfect now SS GF on Samhain! And during her lunar return! She swiped on my profile the night before and I saw it at work. We arranged for a first date that very same day. We clicked so well and ended up seeing each other for 4 consecutive days after and then every weekend....until I helped her move house. So many synchronicities were happening and she told me about things she experienced before she knew me....things pertaining to ME, even before we met! Right around the time I moved to this state, she had mentioned that seen omens that pertained to finding her person. She feels close to foxes and knew beforehand if she saw a fox it met her soulmate was near. Around the time I was preparing to move up here, she saw two foxes and she felt that energy..and broke down and cried. On her date with me we both saw a fox..(before she told me the significance of this animal for her)...she said this never happened with her exes. We kept seeing omens with foxes after this...I even realized a cologne I bought shortly before we met was named "oh fox" (and it happened to be her favorite scent when I wore it) Beforehand as I too looked for my person i asked where is she and a thought came.."she is in mourning and needs time to heal." When we met and got close I told her of this....and that maybe if we had met earlier she would not have been ready to recieve me....she agreed. She is very open psychically and can often see things before they happen. I feel she has worked on her soul in other lifetimes. Strangely before meeting her i felt prompted to buy certain clothing items i felt i liked....ones she turned out to prefer. I saw a haircut in a video I really liked and felpt prompted to try....and eventually found 666 in the video. When she met me she was nuts about my hair and how i dressed because i put in effort and always will.
She was going on to me about how she had written about someone like me in her diaries...how i fit so perfectly to this, how she had been wanting this forever and ever. I literally saw this long list of what she wanted in someone and i fit every single one of those boxes....down to eye color, presentation, deepness of voice, personality, preferences and energy....there was even a brief mention of this person having ties to ancient Rome..and I have roman and greek roots!!..there was even mention of feelings of being with said person in her diaries from past lives!!!!! and I have been told by HPS Lydia I have a girl from a past life I was meant to meet again...I almost was skeptical until my GF showed me all this in person in written form, with the writings completely predating the time that we had physically and virtually met, and by a couple years!! And the dates were written the day of each time she was writing! the nuances of these writings also indicated she could practically feel I was close to encountering her soon after them and she concurred this to me! We both confided in the affirmations we had also done to attract one another....I had also been doing sex magick and she literally fits these affirmations in everyday...literally compatible to my existence in every way....and attractive!!!
We are both against woke culture and lgbt nonsense...our synastry is impeccable and we communicate amazingly. She is very conventionally feminine outwardly and psychologically and so extremely kind and nurturing.....no one has ever been so kind and thoughtful to me as she. She doesn't have a chip on her shoulder like so many...or throw me under the bus or use me for my wallet, although i spend on her freely and happily because she takes care of me in other ways which is all i want. She comforts me when i am unsettled, even during a frustration outburst. she doesn't take them personally or hate me for them. she knows how to diffuse me and be there for me. She doesn't compare me to others or accuse me for wanting attention if i express that i am unwell. No one but literally my mother was so nurturing, sweetly fussy or kind to me, emotionally available and present etc. everyone else I have ever dated or even remotely romantically considered pales in comparison and 98 percent of these took me for granted or manipulated me or wanted to use me, or wanted me to conform to an idea. And I literally shortly before I met her, called off a date with a girl that accused me of "toxic masculinity" for wanting everything she truly is and gives to me. She even goes out of her way to look out for me and leaves cute little notes in my lunch when I go to work. She has got up in the middle of the night to get me medicine when i was sick! She is proud of and takes care of herself. She spites everything anyone has ever told me about being unrealisitc, and she has had this experience as well. WE both have had people in our lives repeatedly tell us our standards for physical attraction and sexual wants and emotional compatibility were unobtainable....us meeting one another spites every single one of those naysayers and anyone that has ever tried to curse us or throw hate our way. Our sex drives are both high, and we are lucky to have found someone we both find attractive and loyal who is strictly monogamous and doesn't look for validation on social media. We do almost everything together when we don't work, including going to the gym.
Even with the little things we are compatible....shortly before meeting her, I was lamenting one morning about an itch on my back saying "i wish i had a pretty femme GF with long nails who could give me scratches" literally next thing i knew....there she was! (and she loves getting her nails done) She also works from home and would like to travel with me if i have to go work a construction job elsewhere, although i told her it would be a last resort. She right off the bat was open to Satanism and was avid about studying the site with me and sure enough.....she dedicated! Today as i write this she is on the last day of her 40 day program and will soon engage in RTRs with me.
I mentioned before in other posts, that when I finally came to terms with who i was and who i wanted, it was on the day we begun the ritual to Janus of Beltanes eve 2023. The night before right after i had done RTRS and asked a Demon to help clean my aura, Lord Set came to my mind, his name anyway. I felt a sudden sadness and feeling of loss (at the time i thought i might have an incubus and was trying to be close and the feeling of loss was related to this). earlier that same year, i remembered trying to Summon Sitri asking for help why i could not find a partner, and what was wrong with me etc. So the night when i was having that feeling i had a thought that came to me that said "you will thank us later." Then the next day something happened to me that finally revealed why i would have certain feelings and passing attractions....to women. something i kept pushing away. I thought at first i was sent a succubus instead. I remember emailing HPHC and he was kind enough to take the time to put into perspective for me how my mind was going through a form of self actualization, (which i am convince was helped by sun squares), and that there was no actual succubus. The perspective was very helpful and very grounding.
No pain no gain you are not a precious snowflake that will be immune to all adversity but you can be shown how to get through it. It's hard at times but it doesn't make this the Gods fault or that they do not care. You just have to life! Here i am now with a good job, not getting sick on every job anymore, saving for a house with good credit and no debt, living amongst my own people, with someone I love and a good work-life balance!
Here i am with my girl, we are both SS...and we are both so grateful and happy....and going back to being told i would be thankful later...yes I am! Thank the Gods for everything in my and our lives! And this post is a thanks to them as well, by showing and inspiring others to trust and not walk away from the Gods at anytime! Thank you Sitri! Thank you so much Father Satan, my Guardian Abrasax and Gods of hell..FOR EVERYTHING!
HAIL SATAN!!!!
Hail Satan Brother!
. Sometimes it doesn't workout and that ends up being for the best. You will find someone compatible. Sometimes workings need to be repeated and that is also something that helped me. Venus squares for me also instead of manifesting at first brought up and and removed blockage which was painful but worth it in the end!
