I'm sure everyone who replied to you want you the best and gave advice accordingly.
However, do not under any way or circumstance stop the medication. This kind of medication cannot be stopped cold turkey or as you wish, neither introduced in the body just as so.
The medicine acts on the physical part of the situation, by limiting and disabling the parts of the brain that deal with the creative and other types of senses of yourself.
By limiting these, it is supposed that you come to be on a linear perception of reality. This isn't about numbing you, or affecting you for negative purposes, but for establishing stability of mind and other faculties.
The brain and perception of everything can be often times filtered in a chaotic way or unsustainable for a fruitful life. This isn't specifically a negative situation if you seek to understand the situation and the overcoming of this by what I'm telling you here.
These problems can be overcome by learning yourself, understanding the dynamics of the mind and brain and applying basic principles.
1. Stability and balance. You have to gather all of the reasons in your mind on why you should be optimistic. You need to be optimistic and positive, as in enforcing yourself by statements with authority that you are optimistic, happy and healthy.
While you take these meds, they have a noticeable effect in about 6 months or even couple of years. During this time, you'll accommodate the effects of them and reach a comfortable sphere.
Seek this comfort of mind and emotions. Have a good and positive surrounding at home. Tell everyone around you, that you want to be happy and have comfort. Understand that you can get help from everybody and profit of of this in a positive way for you.
Ask your doctor to give you vitamins and explain to you the plan ahead for your stability. What to expect etc.
Do have meetings with a therapeutic psychologist.
After the above and understanding the road ahead you absolutely need to understand the following:
2. Hygiene and discipline.
In the more important aspect, this is about what you do daily and what you focus on. You should have developed a routine. A routine in the morning of taking care of yourself and a routine at night as well. This is very important and will bind you to habits that will ground your mind in a linear normality.
You also have to take care of what you digest, in your mind as what you read, see and also in seeking a lifestyle without stress and surprising factors.
This is about shaping your surroundings in ways that benefit you the most.
With all of the above you need to start doing void meditation and master this power of the mind. I will advise strongly against any meditations that will stimulate your mind, energy etc.
https://www.joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Satanic_Void_Meditation.html
The above void meditation is what you'll use to overcome these things. You'll have control.
3. Self Hypnosis and essential meditations.
https://www.joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Hypnosis.html
With the above also Aura of protection and cleaning meditation.
-
Different meditations for control and healing:
1. Sit in easy pose with a straight spine. Relax the arms and hands in any meditative pose.
Focus on the tip of the nose and breathe normally through the nose. Open the mouth. Touch the tongue to the upper palate.
Breathing normally state to yourself in your mind: "All of my faculties and councious intelligence is healthy, pure and healing me in total positive ways for me"
2. After stating a couple of times and meditating for a few minutes, focus on the middle of the head, on the pineal gland, and state with conviction: "My pineal gland as well as my body is harmonious and healing my body and mind, in total positive ways for me"
-
Mild trance meditation with aim of relaxation:
https://www.joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Trance.html
And also mild Hatha Yoga for health of the body. Do not do any stimulation, runes or psychic development for now.
-
With the above you'll learn to actualize a new state of being and perception, that will be stable and you can gain discernment to learn to advance much more and also not use the meds after mastering. But this is later, for now focus on the above and gain stability and clarity.
It is a road to take but you can succeed. For any meditations and related, any questions you can ask here on the forum.