Mental health and meditation, Help

[Akuaku_]

I am now 17 and I've suffered from severe depression for years now.
It started getting better circa 5 years ago, when I dedicated my soul, and got even worse recently.
I also observed that crippling gender dysphoria grips me since youth, even if I have very few memories, as if my life was thrown into oblivion. I see a psychiatrist and at this point, since we believe a major trauma could have occurred, I'm willing to take medication to help my mental state.
Don't get me wrong, I haven't lost hope. In my childhood I was a very devoted christian child and this didn't help me at all when depression started to manifest, I self harmed and tried to kill myself before getting to know Satanism, and it gave me a chance to live differently, a chance that I, now, am incredibily grateful to have had.
The problem is, I've tried many times to meditate and in general to start meditation programs, but I couldn't keep it up, as depression, social anxiety and many other things I've became too "lazy" to identify anymore stop me before I can make any progress.
I tried to summarize my entire life, or what I remember by now. Have any of you experienced this?
Is there any way I can keep up with meditation even while being depressed?
My problem is the beginning and the perseverance, I haven't found any problem, ever, when I meditated.

Thank you for your time, sorry if I made any mistakes since English is not my first language, and sorry I wrote too much.
I hope I can find help here.

 

[Aquarius]

Start out with doing little meditation everyday, something like just 15 or 10 minutes. Do the 40 days program, it’s on Satan’s library. Yoga also will help.
Also, depression is caused by negative mental thoughts and as thus you will have to fight your own mind to achieve happiness. Start affirming throughout the day that you are free from depression: “I am completely and permanently free from depression in the most positive and happy way for me” change it as you wish to fit your language.

 

[Hps.mlimlal666]

Thanks for the output Aquarius, good answer! I want to add here, clean your chakras and aura from all negative energies it may seem a lot at this moment to you, however, clean your chakras and aura daily. To banish depression use Wunjo rune, always good have a combination of meditations going. Sun mantra Suraye, and Algiz for protection, it helps cleaning and banishes also negative energies.
Affirmatio daily: "My aura is constantly and continuously deflecting and repelling any and all negative energies, curses, bindings, hatred and destructive energy directed at me and is immediately returning these directly right back to the sender."

 

[Stormblood]

I suggest doing the affirmation suggested by Aquarius also while falling asleep and as soon as you wake up before even opening your eyes.

 

[Tao]

I am now 17 and I've suffered from severe depression for years now.
It started getting better circa 5 years ago, when I dedicated my soul, and got even worse recently.
I also observed that crippling gender dysphoria grips me since youth, even if I have very few memories, as if my life was thrown into oblivion. I see a psychiatrist and at this point, since we believe a major trauma could have occurred, I'm willing to take medication to help my mental state.
Don't get me wrong, I haven't lost hope. In my childhood I was a very devoted christian child and this didn't help me at all when depression started to manifest, I self harmed and tried to kill myself before getting to know Satanism, and it gave me a chance to live differently, a chance that I, now, am incredibily grateful to have had.
The problem is, I've tried many times to meditate and in general to start meditation programs, but I couldn't keep it up, as depression, social anxiety and many other things I've became too "lazy" to identify anymore stop me before I can make any progress.
I tried to summarize my entire life, or what I remember by now. Have any of you experienced this?
Is there any way I can keep up with meditation even while being depressed?
My problem is the beginning and the perseverance, I haven't found any problem, ever, when I meditated.

Thank you for your time, sorry if I made any mistakes since English is not my first language, and sorry I wrote too much.
I hope I can find help here.

Hey brother,
it is extremely hard to meditate while you are feeling down, I know that.
Keep going on the journey called life. The Wunjo rune is beautiful and positive, focus on it. Try to close your eyes and imagine purple or gold color, and stay strong.
Wish you well

 

[Jack]

I am now 17 and I've suffered from severe depression for years now.
It started getting better circa 5 years ago, when I dedicated my soul, and got even worse recently.
I also observed that crippling gender dysphoria grips me since youth, even if I have very few memories, as if my life was thrown into oblivion. I see a psychiatrist and at this point, since we believe a major trauma could have occurred, I'm willing to take medication to help my mental state.
Don't get me wrong, I haven't lost hope. In my childhood I was a very devoted christian child and this didn't help me at all when depression started to manifest, I self harmed and tried to kill myself before getting to know Satanism, and it gave me a chance to live differently, a chance that I, now, am incredibily grateful to have had.
The problem is, I've tried many times to meditate and in general to start meditation programs, but I couldn't keep it up, as depression, social anxiety and many other things I've became too "lazy" to identify anymore stop me before I can make any progress.
I tried to summarize my entire life, or what I remember by now. Have any of you experienced this?
Is there any way I can keep up with meditation even while being depressed?
My problem is the beginning and the perseverance, I haven't found any problem, ever, when I meditated.

Thank you for your time, sorry if I made any mistakes since English is not my first language, and sorry I wrote too much.
I hope I can find help here.

I was heavily depressed for sometime not because I have some mental issue but because after my grandfather died I started thinking very deeply about life and wtf was happening in this world. At that point in time I had come to a conclusion (without evidence) that life is inherently without meaning, that hope is an illusion and that nothing matters. I was gripped with crippling nihilism which made me sad,depressed and angry . If I had not found Satanism and the real meaning of life ,I would have been probably in a very different spot right now in my life. Infact you could say at the depths of a pitch black hole, Satans light glimmered and showed me the faintest bit of hope and I grabbed on. And then I discovered more and more and eventually developed my own will and path.