Im paranoid

[Big Dipper]

So, a little story about me is, I i've always been paranoid. When i was 4 years old I was fine, i use to sleep in my own room, and walk around in the dark house of mine when i was a child without a care. I have very old memories of myself before I was walking perfectly fine and I wasn't really afraid of anything, aside from a goat. But I dont know if it was the things I watched as a kid like scary movies or what, but I just couldn't sleep by myself for years. I had many nightmares daily and sleeping was terrible. You would have a nightmare, not inspired by any movie i've seen, just totally random nightmares, and would wake up scared to go to sleep only to do so and have the same or another nightmare in the same night. I developed my own sense of defense mechanism when in nightmares. I would naturally know when im in a bad dream and would just open my eyes when things got scary and i would rarely just talk to whatever it was trying to get me. Like have a conversation and would use that time to escape. However, i would also feel things in my dreams. Like, when something would bite me i would feel it. It didnt hurt, but whenever it happend it would feel really uncomfortable and that area on my body would feel like its asleep and pins and needles but more, now i just wake up when that happens, but my head is jerking into my pillow.

It affected me so much that I NEVER slept on my back or left side, because my bed was pushed up to my closet and I thought it was safe, so i would sleep on my right side no matter how uncomfortable it was to always be watching the rest of my room, and because I did that for years I think it screwed up my neck.

Well, i still occasionally have weird nightmares every now and then, but now im never scared. Im just aware that im in a creepy setting, but i dont care. BUT very rarely, like a few times, somehow out of nowhere my hair will stand up and ill get goosebumps. My nerves get..."hard"? They start to go wild. And I feel like someone is at my right ear, going to push me and say "boo" at any moment. It feels like something is there enough for me to check and i feel like someone will be there any moment. I think it's just me scaring myself, since I think way too much and i need to do earth element stuff, especially since i have pulled out in traffic and pulled up to red lights, stopped and floored it while it was still red because i was thinking so hard on stuff. But I'm also weird with stuff. I dont lock my car door, ever, and it's gotten broken into twice, still dont lock it. I even dont lock my apartment door when i go out and have slept with my everything unlocked a couple times on accident tho, but sometimes I just scare myself into locking my room door, I live alone, but sometimes i cant sleep until i lock my bedroom door.

I feel that any time my bedroom door will get kicked in. I only think that when im scared tho, not all the time. And sometimes it gets bad enough that I could've sworn i heard someone running at me from behind, like fast footsteps on carpet and i looked back in a fighting stance ready to get my ass kicked. I think it's just me, I tend to scar myself with my thoughts, but sometimes this stuff just happens too.

The reason why im asking this is because im starting to write a book on something that terrifies me and im constantly looking back to check on my room and I keep getting that feeling of something having their lips up to my ear.

 

[Henu the Great]

How much effort are you actually putting into your spiritual advancement? I used to have same sort of issues to a degree, but those got better once I dedicated and started to consistently bettering myself spiritually.

 

[Big Dipper]

How much effort are you actually putting into your spiritual advancement? I used to have same sort of issues to a degree, but those got better once I dedicated and started to consistently bettering myself spiritually.

Ive been slacking as of late, but I think im going to do a saturn square for it. Are the saturdays a good time to do one as long as saturn isnt retro? i feel that they did not put up dates for saturn square so no one does them uninitiated.

 

[Henu the Great]

How much effort are you actually putting into your spiritual advancement? I used to have same sort of issues to a degree, but those got better once I dedicated and started to consistently bettering myself spiritually.

Ive been slacking as of late, but I think im going to do a saturn square for it. Are the saturdays a good time to do one as long as saturn isnt retro? i feel that they did not put up dates for saturn square so no one does them uninitiated.

I would NOT recommend Saturn square without a meanigful foundation built up first. It is too risky in the sense that Saturn can be very unforgiving when it comes to disclipine. In your shoes I would rather use the rune Nauthiz if earth-like qualities are what you are trying to increase.

Also, you might want to try to reprogram yourself via hypnosis or simple affirmations without hyonosis. Tell yourself over and over that you want to do these practices in your own words and your mind starts to adapt to change, making your practice easier to keep up with.

Lastly, Mars and Sun squares/workings and the rune Sowilo in addittion could be used to increase willpower and productivity side of things for you.

Other than that, simply maintain daily basics for every day. That is, cleaning, protection and yoga with some chakra work and pranyama thrown in and over time you'll feel better.

 

[Big Dipper]

How much effort are you actually putting into your spiritual advancement? I used to have same sort of issues to a degree, but those got better once I dedicated and started to consistently bettering myself spiritually.

Ive been slacking as of late, but I think im going to do a saturn square for it. Are the saturdays a good time to do one as long as saturn isnt retro? i feel that they did not put up dates for saturn square so no one does them uninitiated.

I would NOT recommend Saturn square without a meanigful foundation built up first. It is too risky in the sense that Saturn can be very unforgiving when it comes to disclipine. In your shoes I would rather use the rune Nauthiz if earth-like qualities are what you are trying to increase.

Also, you might want to try to reprogram yourself via hypnosis or simple affirmations without hyonosis. Tell yourself over and over that you want to do these practices in your own words and your mind starts to adapt to change, making your practice easier to keep up with.

Lastly, Mars and Sun squares/workings and the rune Sowilo in addittion could be used to increase willpower and productivity side of things for you.

Other than that, simply maintain daily basics for every day. That is, cleaning, protection and yoga with some chakra work and pranyama thrown in and over time you'll feel better.

I'd like to try one saturn square at least once before it leaves aquarius, bc it will be a very long time before its in a good spot again. would it be better to do a saturn square for empowering base chakra, or would i want to wait a bit to clean it better so i wouldnt be empowering any dross? Also I think I might just do a mars square for passion, and make myself a passionate satanist thx.

 

[Henu the Great]

I'd like to try one saturn square at least once before it leaves aquarius, bc it will be a very long time before its in a good spot again. would it be better to do a saturn square for empowering base chakra, or would i want to wait a bit to clean it better so i wouldnt be empowering any dross? Also I think I might just do a mars square for passion, and make myself a passionate satanist thx.

You should definitely clean as much as possible, including chakras. This not only helps you thwart any possilbe negatives, but also helps you advance.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

I'd like to try one saturn square at least once before it leaves aquarius, bc it will be a very long time before its in a good spot again. would it be better to do a saturn square for empowering base chakra, or would i want to wait a bit to clean it better so i wouldnt be empowering any dross? Also I think I might just do a mars square for passion, and make myself a passionate satanist thx.

Saturn goes retrograde over the summer months, but it will return direct, in Aquarius, until early next year, so there is plenty of time. However, it is a problem with Saturn going retrograde soon because you should probably start any productivity workings sooner rather than later.

I am not fully sure of the total influence of Saturn being retrograde, especially in conjunction with good dates for discipline like July's Capricorn Esbat. Whether you should start something soon and before the retrograde, or if it is fine to do it during, is something you should probably ask your GD or Satan.

Productivity is likely your major limitation towards advancement, and of course, helps manifest any other aspect of your advancement as well, so you should put your efforts into improving that directly, not just base chakra or something.

In regards to Mars, you should also use that to increase your productivity with your Satanic career, in the best way possible for you. This may give you increased motivation, drive, or energy, whereas Saturn or Nauthiz will give endurance, discipline, and structure. All of these are a part of productivity.

Although you should do your best to clean yourself, it is not the empowerment itself that is the problem as much as the Saturn energy itself. If you are less advanced, it is likely to manifest in a stressful manner.

Although cleaning will help, you probably should get your productivity in order sooner rather than later. Therefore, just use Nauthiz instead. Remember, Saturn will be in Aquarius for some time, so there is no immediate rush.

 

[Jayandsam]

Hey. I'm wondering if it have had some kind of trauma way back. I wish I could help you with some spiritual advice, as I spent far too many years as a child in this state. I don't wish to share my own, but when I was around the same age of around 4-5 I experienced something which traumatized me to the point where I had to walk down the hallway with my back against the wall so as to see all around me. I learned years later that it was do to PTSD. I can't exactly say that I'm completely over the long-term effects, but sometimes just knowing the source will give you power over it. Best of luck and blessings.
HAIL SATAN
HAIL LERAJIE

 

[Big Dipper]

" post_id=357924 time=1653432321 user_id=21286]

I'd like to try one saturn square at least once before it leaves aquarius, bc it will be a very long time before its in a good spot again. would it be better to do a saturn square for empowering base chakra, or would i want to wait a bit to clean it better so i wouldnt be empowering any dross? Also I think I might just do a mars square for passion, and make myself a passionate satanist thx.

Saturn goes retrograde over the summer months, but it will return direct, in Aquarius, until early next year, so there is plenty of time. However, it is a problem with Saturn going retrograde soon because you should probably start any productivity workings sooner rather than later.

I am not fully sure of the total influence of Saturn being retrograde, especially in conjunction with good dates for discipline like July's Capricorn Esbat. Whether you should start something soon and before the retrograde, or if it is fine to do it during, is something you should probably ask your GD or Satan.

Productivity is likely your major limitation towards advancement, and of course, helps manifest any other aspect of your advancement as well, so you should put your efforts into improving that directly, not just base chakra or something.

In regards to Mars, you should also use that to increase your productivity with your Satanic career, in the best way possible for you. This may give you increased motivation, drive, or energy, whereas Saturn or Nauthiz will give endurance, discipline, and structure. All of these are a part of productivity.

Although you should do your best to clean yourself, it is not the empowerment itself that is the problem as much as the Saturn energy itself. If you are less advanced, it is likely to manifest in a stressful manner.

Although cleaning will help, you probably should get your productivity in order sooner rather than later. Therefore, just use Nauthiz instead. Remember, Saturn will be in Aquarius for some time, so there is no immediate rush.

so, when im doing the nauthiz rune would me putting the rune in the affirmation like this "in a safe healthy and positve way for me the power of the nauthiz rune is making me disciplined and self sufficient now and forever" count as me saying the run an additional time, Im vibrating it 30 times and if i do affirmation 10 times does that mean i just did the rune 40 times? I was doing the affirmation on saturday and said it like that, but switched it after a couple times of saying the original affirmation to "the power of this rune" instead of " the power of the nauthiz rune", is that ok if i switched it and should I keep the rune out of the affirmation? ty

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

First, your home and your car should always be locked 100% of the time. It is a bad idea to have them not be locked. Even if you get lucky and nothing bad happened, that doesn't mean that nothing bad is going to happen in the near future. You're fear about needing to lock your bedroom door is caused by your mind knowing that you are very vulnerable with all doors unlocked, and this fear would go away if you do keep them locked.

 

[Big Dipper]

" post_id=357924 time=1653432321 user_id=21286]

Would you happen to know if I should refrain from saying the rune in the affirmation, like " the power of the nauthiz rune..." and instead say: " the power of this rune" to keep from accidently doing a rep of the rune in the affirmation? ty

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

so, when im doing the nauthiz rune would me putting the rune in the affirmation like this "in a safe healthy and positve way for me the power of the nauthiz rune is making me disciplined and self sufficient now and forever" count as me saying the run an additional time, Im vibrating it 30 times and if i do affirmation 10 times does that mean i just did the rune 40 times? I was doing the affirmation on saturday and said it like that, but switched it after a couple times of saying the original affirmation to "the power of this rune" instead of " the power of the nauthiz rune", is that ok if i switched it and should I keep the rune out of the affirmation? ty

Thank you for messaging again because I forget to reply here.

The affirmations do not count as repetitions of the rune itself. The affirmation itself is just a guide for the energy, through your will. Therefore, if you do 30 vibrations of Nauthiz, that amount of energy is the same, regardless of the number of affirmations.

For your second question, generally, you should not change the affirmation, otherwise, this restarts the working. However, in this case, making that slight change to the wording did not change the actual mechanics of the affirmation. It is still doing the same thing because your intentions are the same.

Mentioning the name of the energy within the affirmation does not count as a rep, and even if it did somehow, this would ruin a normal working, which can experience minor fluctuations in repetitions without being ruined.

I added in the name of the rune to help you focus while saying the affirmation because that is the point of the affirmation itself: to help one guide their energy. However, you can feel free to change it as your described, because you are still referring to the same thing.

Lastly, you can say the affirmations mentally, rather than out loud, if that helps you. However, simply speaking the name of the rune does not raise much energy, nor does it ruin the working.

 

[Big Dipper]

" post_id=361563 time=1654150436 user_id=21286]

ty

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

Are you speaking vibrating your affirmation? Or are you affirming it with your mental focus, visualisation, and intentions? 2nd way is better.

Either way, you are fine. It is not messing up your number. And with runes the exact number used is not as important as some other kinds of workings.