Your suffering is your own choice. All of your emotions are your own decision how you choose to react in any situation. The mistake is that you are holding onto things so hatefully that you even want an innocent man to die, when he has done nothing to deserve that punishment.
The truth is that this man might not be good at communicating with people. He might not be as smart as other people. He might not be perfect. But it sounds like he is a good man who is doing his best to work to provide for his family. It would be most helpful for you to realize "Ok, he doesn't have a bad intention. He is not trying to do anything bad to me. He is just stupid and he doesn't know how to communicate in a better way." He is not perfect, but you are not perfect either.
Your goal and your intention should simply be for conflicts and arguments to be ended and prevented. This includes not holding onto a grudge about every time you have ever been offended about some small word in your entire life. And not taking things so personally. This is just a stupid man, and because he is stupid, his judgement is not very good. So if he says a mean comment about you or about anyone else, you already know that it is untrue because his judgement and opinion is worthless. You already know that what he says is not important. So why would you care what he says if he is not capable of even making any valuable and intelligent judgement? His opinion is so worthless that it basically doesn't exist, if there is not an intelligence and a knowledge to be able to back up a judgement with truth. Spend your time thinking about true things, and do not waste your time thinking about worthless untrue statements from dumb people.
Saying that "I choose what emotion I react with", is not entirely valid. Let's look at an extreme example: if a kike would blow up your house, would you "choose not to be angry"? Actually, anger would be the only correct emotion to feel. Of course, these two cases, are different, but it just shows it is not that true statement.
He is neither innocent, nor good. He constantly choose to do that shit. And you can still be a bad person, who decided to not make his child starve. And justifying his bad actions, just because he made a good decision once, is stupid.
I tried to resolve conflicts, but it is impossible to talk with this man. And I care about this, because a father shouldn't be like this. However, if I should ignore what he does, how can i do that? Because I have no clue and it just feels like this is a human part of me.
And if hearing a slightly rude word is the worst thing that ever happened to you in your entire life, you are one of the luckiest people who has ever lived. Most people have experienced real problems that are much worse than hearing a word. Many people have had horrible injuries, pain, health problems, suffering, starvation, have had violence and crimes done against them. If all you have ever had is hearing a word that is a little unfriendly and rude, you should be thankful.
Nah, there are more lucky people, who don't have to deal with this. Also, saying that
I have no right to be angry, because other people went through worse things, is the same as saying that
I don't have right to be happy, because other people experienced better things.
"And saying that I shouldn't do that, just because he is my father - it sounds xian. "
Well before there was ever a Christ-tard there was poena cullei for the crime of patricide.
In Rome, patricide was considered one of the most socially offensive crimes. The punishment for such an offense in Latin was: poena cullei.
"The earliest record of our punishment known to us comes from around 100 BCE. It was to be based on the fact that the person sentenced to poena cullei was stitched in a leather sack with animals and then thrown into the sea or river. This punishment has already been used for Tarquinius Superbus in connection with religious crimes. Later, the punishment was used almost exclusively for murders of relatives. dictator Sulla kept poena cullei in the Act on Murders, but only in the event of the killing of ascendants and descendants. During Hadrian’s rule, the scope of the sentence was limited to the cases of murder of parents and grandparents.
The question is what animals were thrown into the bag of the convict. During the early empire, we only talk about snakes. During the reign of emperor Hadrian, a rooster, dog, monkey and viper were added to the sackcloth."
In Rome, patricide was considered one of the most socially offensive crimes. The punishment for such an offense in Latin was: poena cullei.
imperiumromanum.pl
Well, ancient Rome was great civilization, therefore people also were great, including fathers. So there was no need to kill one's father, but nowadays - it's different.
You should be more grateful in life, at least for having the luck of having a father. I didn’t have any parents until I was 18 years old. I was literally on my own, starving and struggling to survive by myself. No matter how good or bad he may be, he’s still providing for you and that shows that he cares and loves you and you decide to think that you should harm to him? Think about it , makes no sense .No one is born as the perfect parent, and when your time comes to be a parent, you’ll understand more. You’ll look back, remember him, and reflect on these moments.
Think about others who are less fortunate, who would give anything in this world to have parents, to have a father, no matter how he may be. Reflect deeply on this.
Me, even if I was left alone because ..life, I still have not done anything against my parents and now we are together and we get along wonderfully, everything is wonderful, I'm glad I didn't act impulsively and that I was patient ,wise and understanding enough. Those things can be improved and changed to the better , everyone can, that's what we do as SS, evolve and improving every aspect of our lives and others lives as well , make things beautiful and wonderful.
It's not a satanic principle to harm your own parents and you have to understand why somebody has done something bad to you, if it is without reason and just pure intent of evil then sure but we should never act upon our families , this has bigger karmic consequences then people realize, what others are calling 'revenge' I call it justice and it should be done accordingly , not to revenge just because we can, sometimes it's better to simply ignore and move on, no point wasting time and resources when those could be redirected towards some greater things.
This anger of yours , think about of the enemies you've got , there's bigger people who deserve punishment then your own father.
If you’re fed up with him and the situation, then be a man, take life into your own hands, and become independent through your own work and efforts. That way, you won’t have these problems anymore, right? I think both of us knew this but instead you decided to complain and possibly harm the one which is providing for you. Listen to what I’m saying: go to him and confront him, but in a diplomatic manner. Don’t tremble—stand tall, be confident, and say to him:
“Look, Dad, here’s the thing. I feel like our relationship hasn’t been the same lately. I want to understand why, and I want us to be a proper family and get along better.”
Sometimes, people don’t realize how much their words and actions can hurt others. It’s not as if they do it intentionally, but we often take things too personally and tend to overreact and blow things out of proportion. Be grateful that he’s in your life—good or bad, he’s your father, and he brought you into this world , you wouldn't even had the fortune to suffer as you do now if not for him , learn from the suffering , don't let it overcomplex and destroy you but instead, metabolize it ,in a way to make you stronger.
And of course, just because he brought you onto this world that doesn’t give him the right to speak to you poorly or treat you badly, but take the initiative and be the bigger person. Be more understanding and wise. Prove to him that you’re better than that. He will respect the fact that you confront him like a man, rather than just complaining.
Instead of reflecting only upon yourself , try to put yourself in his shoes , maybe he is stressed out because he has to work a lot and he has his own problems as well , everyone does and has so therefore try to understand why he is the way he is. Check his history with his own father and his own family , try to understand him as well not to understand only yourself.
By being a greater person that does not mean you're prey , by showing compassion and understanding don't make you weaker , it shows you're more developed and evolved.
One day you will have your own kids and you will understand the struggle of having to work not only for yourself but for him/them , including your partner.
It is in the nature of women especially mom's to be tender and loving and it is the duty and responsibility of the father to be a little more cruel to make his boy tougher and stronger, to show him the real world and prepare him for the cruelty of life , maybe that's why your father is the way he is, he is helping to grow you up and become a man instead of remaining a boy , deal with him respectfully and be good Brother.
It sound like you went through hard times, which of course was difficult for you and i understand that. I don't want to sound harsh, but this not a competition, where we decide who went through worse things. We people go through different things. You experienced something bad, then you deserve a compassion. Same thing goes for others. But actually I don't think I want or deserve compassion, i just want to hurt my father.
I am doing (or rather want to do) my revenge accordingly and these other people who you mentioned, who deserve a revenge - they are not my problem, but my father is.
Furthermore, I have no idea what karmic consequences this would make. I don't have knowledge about that.
I don't understand why people say I am just complaining. I started a death spell to end this situation, like a man. And like I said in my main post, I tried to talk with him about it, but this guy just don't have ability to listen or self-reflect. And if people don't know that behavior is bad, then it means they don't have the ability to literally think, so these kind of people are not needed.
I don't want to be destroyed by this situation. I want to be become stronger by that actually and I will make it happen by harming him.
Also,
any child should be respected and not treated poorly in healthy family and if "I have to earn his right to respect me", then I don't fucking want to have a father like that.
I know something about his childhood, but you can still be sad about something and not be a dick to people around you. I was really kind and respectful to him, and I am like that do everyone, so he should not be like that to me especially. And there is difference to make your children strong and be a dick to them.
And the part where I disagree the most:
Me, as a child, should not be the one to be "a big person" and do more to fix this relationship. He decided to have a kid, so he should be the one to pick this struggle. And I know when I will have the kids, I should be the one who is reaching a hand to have a good relationship, not them.
If a bad person entered your life is your problem. This means you have something to work on. Do not ignore this.
Your father is not a good person; you are not obliged to be grateful to him for the minimun (and it would be very harmful to you), and you are not obliged to consider him a person worthy of your respect. Whoever does evil is aware of doing it.
But you can't complain about it like a child, not addressing the problem. In that case, it's your choice. Dealing with your life is not running away like a victim/prey, it's walking away with your head held high, taking the responsibility of being consistent with yourself and of giving value to your time.
Heal your emotional body, work on your first 3 chakras, and think about doing something else in life, rather than dwelling on individuals. And don't think about what they might think of you or about your choices - live your life, not the thoughts and values of others. Get busy with something else.
Stop imagining that you kill him; many criminals, especially rapists, when asked why they committed what they did, stated that it all started from a very brief thought, up to an increasingly frequent thought.
You definitely have other things to think about. Don't treat yourself like the victim of the situation.
Exactly, i have do to something with this, which is why want to harm my father. I am not complaining about this, i am taking an action, this is why I started death spell.
I don't have to walk away from someone, who doesn't live. And then, while he would be dead, i could just peacefully heal my emotional body, not dwell about him anymore and continue with my life.
I know about this thing, where criminals were asked about that, and this is why want to give myself a benefit of the doubt and let people here talk me out of this (if i am wrong), before I would actually do something to my father.
I can understand where your frustration has come from, I have a family who never wanted me and abused me since I was a kid, not just verbally and emotionally, but physically too. I remember when my father hit my legs and butt with a belt like his life dependent upon it, I couldn't sit, lay or walk properly for life 2 weeks. I had belt marks. Thankfully they're gone.
When I confronted him years later about it, he said that he enjoyed every second of it and that I deserved it. Why did I deserve it? Because I was a kid, doing kid things, living with people who never taught me proper emotional control or how to not throw tantrums. I think the reason I did throw tantrums is because my parents never cared enough about me. All they cared about are their precious perfect children, who are btw A) A pedophile and B) Narcissistic, abusive bitch.
I had to raise myself, teach myself how to act around people and be mute for most of my teenage years, because everywhere I went I was bullied, humiliated, abused, ridiculed, not just by other kids, but by adults, teachers, etc.
The only person in my life who actually gave a damn about me and genuinely loved me was my grandpa. When I was able to go to him (which was extremely rare), I would feel like I actually mattered to somebody. My grandpa was the only person in my life who never raised his hand against me and I found that to be so weird, as I grew up with abuse, but it felt so healing and nice to not be abused. But unfortunately I wasn't allowed to see him again after the last time when I was 8. Why? Because my family didn't like him. Gee, I wonder why
My parents would leave me with my grandma who abused the ever living f*ck out of me. I'm not talking just verbal abuse, oh no, she actually used sticks (those thick ones, Idk how they're called in English, sorry) to hit me over my head, my back, my legs. Why? Just because I acted like a kid. Sure, I had accidents, but even then she abused me. But my sister who did the same? Oh no, she's not too be touched! She's perfect!
Like there was this one time when I was 7 and learning to read (first grade), my grandma didn't allow me to go use the bathroom and I knew if I peed on the bed by accident she'd gleefully abuse me with those sticks. Thankfully, she went to the kitchen to make food for my dad who was coming over and so I snuck to the bathroom, thinking I would return back unscathed. Nope. She found me using the bathroom and barged in with the biggest and thickest stick ever and just hit me over my knees and legs. Didn't say a word.
She would constantly make me go to the bathroom where the shower was and just blast the most icy cold water in my face, in my body and just laugh. It caused me severe fear of water that I am still getting over.
This was just a couple of things she did to me.
When I confronted her years later about this you know what her response what? She f*ck*ng did it because I wasn't as "perfect" as my sister. I'm not even sh*tt*ng you.
I wanted my whole family who abused me everyday to just suffer and die. I'd say I have a justifiable reason as to why. Thankfully, my now SS husband helped me (as well as the Gods!) escape my abusive family. I still have PTSD from all this, but it is much better compared to when I arrived to live with him.
So if your father says a bad word to you, why not just ignore and bind him? Just don't pay attention to anything negative he says. He seems stressed from work and thus let's out steam in a unhealthy way.
It sounds rough. It was, and still is, difficult for you. And these people who hurt you this seriously, surely deserve a death.
I have been severely sexually abused by my father in a sort of "relationship" that lasted until my teens, since 5 /6 years old. I believed this was normal due to heavy brainwashing and emotional enslavement; I reached the point to be the one asking for intercourse. When growing, and understanding the truth, I reached a break point. I was unable to destroy my father, just can't rise finger like a beaten dog, so I destroyed a piece of furniture instead. I reached a climax and my mind choose to instantly forget all the abuse as a form of defense to allow me survive, as it was unbearable and I would probably have killed myself. I understood how horrible was that, and the mind cancelled the memories to allow myself to leave (until a few years ago). I rebuilt the story with my therapist and my fragmented memories.
The point is : after that point, my father was just the same idiot that you describe your father is, that is emotionally abusive anyway. I saw my father exactly how you see yours. I forgot all the shit and I just saw my father as a bit annoying, but continued to live normally. I also invited him in my home, I was always available. But the emotional memories cannot be cancelled: I just always felt a deep hate for my father and wanted to kill him. Also each time I was kind or normal to him, I hated myself and felt wrong, but I did not know why. I cannot count how many times I wanted to destroy him, a word from him was a command to my mind so I could not rebel, this needed many years to come.
Are you sure your deep hate is not coming from severe abuse (may be sexual, emotional, physical)? In this case your desire for your father to die is justified. In case not, you are being excessive and you probably are bringing this to an extreme. Only you know the truth, inside. I suggest, to ask your Guardian Demon if you suffered some kind of mistreatment you don't consciously remember.
Same for me. Any slight verbal abuse by my father was a deep suffering for me. I do not say it's the same for you but is possible.
I am sorry for you and express my sadness for you and people who suffered. I think "externals", I mean people who did not suffer abuse, have a hard time understanding how this can be invalidating and life threatening.
I hope it's not the case for FierySoul , I tend to be oversuspicious maybe, but is part of being a survivor.
Times when the true people of Satan suffers unjustly by the hand of the enemy are coming to an end!!!
I wasn't neither sexually or physically abused by my father. It is just the emotional shit he does. And when it comes to you, it was surely horrible thing that happened to you and should never happen to any child. Remember, you don't have to be kind to him, you owe him nothing and you have every right to harm him seriously. It looks like taking revenge would be the only way for you to heal.
![Karnonnos [JG]](/data/avatars/m/21/21596.jpg?1704756304){kind=avatar}
you're just very angry.. taking control away from him will make you feel calmer.
) and then you can feel better. 
