i can't live anymore

[Aselod]

My life is too hard . I was raped 7 times until I was 10 years old. At the age of 12, my father was killed by a serial killer. my life was full of poverty and misery. Last month I was cheated by my girlfriend. I started smoking. I don't know what to do, I don't want to be a god. I don't want to do anything, I'm losing myself and disconnected from life, what I did for this. Bad karma? Bad chart? idk humans are disgusting and sickly we don't even deserve to be saved what should i do now im 18 years old btw for this age its too much for me i cannot carry anymore

 

[Hp. Hoodedcobra666]

You have to survive this and dig out of this extremely negative situation. You definitely can do this. You are youthful, and you have persisted until now.

Yes, humans tend to be disgusting. People who treat you in a disgusting manner, see the positive side: they were exposed and they moved out of one's life. There are millions of girls and there are people out there who are going to love you. But first you need to stand on your own feet.

The world is not always a kind place. You are not disgusting, because you want to advance out of this state. Forget about "large goals" that don't even make sense at this point, and focus on smaller and more important goals. Try to do the following for now, as you are early in life:

1. Develop self education and get a job.
2. Study as much as you can. If you dislike studying, focus on gaining life experience.
3. Find something in this world that inspires you or makes you feel like it's worth living for.
4. Do consistent daily meditation, and positive affirmations everyday.

There *IS* positivity, hope, and beautiful things in this world. You cannot see this now, but you will see this in the future.

NEVER GIVE UP! Others have suffered and made it, so will you. You have been through a lot and it is not the time to give up now.

Others will come to you with even more input.

 

[Shadowcat]

My life is too hard . I was raped 7 times until I was 10 years old. At the age of 12, my father was killed by a serial killer. my life was full of poverty and misery. Last month I was cheated by my girlfriend. I started smoking. I don't know what to do, I don't want to be a god. I don't want to do anything, I'm losing myself and disconnected from life, what I did for this. Bad karma? Bad chart? idk humans are disgusting and sickly we don't even deserve to be saved what should i do now im 18 years old btw for this age its too much for me i cannot carry anymore

What a horrible life you have had. But this is not your fault. the things that happened to you were not because of you and not about you but because the world is indeed rotten and heavily influenced by the enemy and their filth. they influence and destroy everything pure and innocent that they touch. You can come out of this stronger and better. try to stop smoking. Try to connect with our Gods and start cleaning your soul and begin yoga and power meditations. stay away from drugs and excessive alcohol and people who are shady.
try to focus on finding what you might enjoy doing for a hobby and find good people who can share that with you who actually have the potential to care about you and be good influences. make sure you always have a trusted person you can talk to.
Due to your tramas i would start a munka working, in your case perhaps even one for 90 days instead of the standard 40, seeing as the awful shit you have been through. The human mind and body can withstand much but doesnt mean it should always have to. Dont give up. life is precious and so is yours. *hug*

 

[Aselod]

I think i decide to suicide . Maybe i will reincarnation after 90-100 years and maybe in this period of time world will be good for me i hope you guys will have good life

 

[Jrvan]

My life is too hard . I was raped 7 times until I was 10 years old. At the age of 12, my father was killed by a serial killer. my life was full of poverty and misery. Last month I was cheated by my girlfriend. I started smoking. I don't know what to do, I don't want to be a god. I don't want to do anything, I'm losing myself and disconnected from life, what I did for this. Bad karma? Bad chart? idk humans are disgusting and sickly we don't even deserve to be saved what should i do now im 18 years old btw for this age its too much for me i cannot carry anymore

You're here now, aren't you? You wouldn't have made this post if you were going to do it, you would have just done it. Perhaps you're looking for someone to give you a good reason to keep going. I've got one for you. Revenge. Those people who hurt you would love it if you gave up and killed yourself. What they wouldn't love is if you used magick to get justice for yourself.
These forums and the JoS websites have everything you need to learn how to perform an effective curse, and you can always speak to Father Satan to ask for guidance if you need it. No one should ever hurt children and get away with it. I urge you to seek justice for the innocent child in you that suffered. Do it for your child self.

Also, don't worry about the past and what you could have possibly done to "deserve this." Karma patterns, natal astrology, it's irrelevant right now. What matters is what you do with your future. The world is messed up right now because of our enemies. Everyone is suffering. None of it is fair. Innocent children all over the world go through things like what you went through, and worse. Tiny little children get kidnapped away from their families and ritually sacrificed by the jews. They didn't do anything to deserve that. The purely abominable nature of our enemy is unfathomable to us, but their depravity is bottomless - nothing is too low for them.

Remember that the soul has a chance to improve or change things, to grow and heal, and more, only while it has a physical body. Find a way to get justice for your soul, and then live well. It won't get easier if you give up now.

 

[NinRick]

I think i decide to suicide . Maybe i will reincarnation after 90-100 years and maybe in this period of time world will be good for me i hope you guys will have good life

As long as you are alive, you can advance and develop your powers. You can work on your issues NOW! It is not easy, it is incredibly hard, but you have to do it. When you commit to it, you will overcome EVERYTHING! Just imagine a happy and empowered future, work towards it!

You have to strive, all living beings strive to survive, it’s something primal. Find your way back to the serpent, just like a serpent fights each day to survive, keep crawling and moving forward, never stopping or giving up. It’s instinct. Don’t let this world shatter you, look forward and move. Even if your mind is in a dark place now, and thoughts are spinning around like a vortex.. be your own revival. You are still breathing, your heart it pounds, you are alive, you are still alive, you want to live and you haven’t committed suicide, inside of you burns instinct you can not hide, it’s primal. Fight. Never stop fighting. Like a serpent.

Even if you are in the shadows right now, and even if you will stay there for a while, move, fight, never give up.
Change takes time, however, If you do that, you will grow seriously strong, and shape your reality.

Don’t quit. Suffer now, and live the rest of your life as a champion.

In a couple of years, looking back to today, you will be filled with extreme pride and joy, that you have pulled through, never gave up and survived.

 

[Power of Justice [JG]]

I think i decide to suicide . Maybe i will reincarnation after 90-100 years and maybe in this period of time world will be good for me i hope you guys will have good life

If you kill yourself now, IF you can even reincarnate next time your problems will only be worse. You are here NOW and only you can change your life for the better.

 

[Henu the Great]

I think i decide to suicide . Maybe i will reincarnation after 90-100 years and maybe in this period of time world will be good for me i hope you guys will have good life

The level of ignorance is almost infuriating.

You have reincarnated now, to face the issues you have now, everything is now. You can not escape now in the hopes it will get better by running away from now.

Tools and guidance are available. By running away from this, you will only postpone what you are meant to do. Not only that, but it gets increasingly more difficult later on by running away from facing and fixing issues now.

There are no free rides. Everyone struggles.

 

[SagittarianMage]

Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you suicide yourself. That would be giving them a win, and they are lower than the lowest parasitic scum for harming children. I think you should try to transmute the feelings you have into hatred in it's purest form, then use that hatred for destruction rituals and spells. You've made it this far and Satan has brought you here for a reason. Father Satan loves you and we need all the warriors we can get to fix the future of humanity or what you went through and worse will become the normal for our children and your reincarnated self.

 

[Giszmon666]

My life is too hard . I was raped 7 times until I was 10 years old. At the age of 12, my father was killed by a serial killer. my life was full of poverty and misery. Last month I was cheated by my girlfriend. I started smoking. I don't know what to do, I don't want to be a god. I don't want to do anything, I'm losing myself and disconnected from life, what I did for this. Bad karma? Bad chart? idk humans are disgusting and sickly we don't even deserve to be saved what should i do now im 18 years old btw for this age its too much for me i cannot carry anymore

I think you should to make planetary squares. (if you are on that level) they can actually help to make your life easyier, better and nicer and they actually make your future better too.

 

[Username]

My life is too hard . I was raped 7 times until I was 10 years old. At the age of 12, my father was killed by a serial killer. my life was full of poverty and misery. Last month I was cheated by my girlfriend. I started smoking. I don't know what to do, I don't want to be a god. I don't want to do anything, I'm losing myself and disconnected from life, what I did for this. Bad karma? Bad chart? idk humans are disgusting and sickly we don't even deserve to be saved what should i do now im 18 years old btw for this age its too much for me i cannot carry anymore

This is heart breaking. To think that one of my brother suffered like this tightens my chest.
No matter how peaceful our society or the world seems to be at first glance, after you tear open the veil, you will see that behind the veil is a cruel and cold world. Bad things can happen to anyone even if the one is a very good person and good things happen to those who are the scums of the world. There's no rule here except that those with the strength exploit those without.
However, this is a world created by the invasion of enemies.

Naaaa, king of rebel, your name itself is a sign of your rebellion. Rebellion to this world and rebellion to the enemies who made the world to be like this.
If you die to later reincarnate, you wouldn't king of rebellion. The enemy would laugh and drink in celebration if you were to do that. This is not who you are, you are the king of rebellion, you will advance spirtually to the point, the enemy and the world created by them runs away shitless from you.
You will rebel and advance spirtually till the enemies get scared from the depth of their soul when they hear your name. They will say 'The king of rebellion is coming.....Run!'.

Dying to reincarnate later is a extremely harming. For one, you would end up in similar if not worse situation in your next life. Two, you would lose a century of time where you could dedicate yourself to gaining strength with which you would crush your enemies.

I think you should focus on cleaning your aura in the sun everyday for at least 5 minutes or however long as you can.
As for your gf cheating, heh, be glad that you got rid of her. Really, be glad that you are free of people who do not hold any worth to you and that you are absolutely going to find someone who loves you from the bottom of her heart. Indeed, its hurtful when people do that to you but at the end of the day, you should be happy that you are free now and that you are going to find someone special.

For every 10 human beings who are sickly and disgusting, there's 1 good person who is radiant and kind. The worth of 1 such person far surpasses the former 10.
Remember, the Gods are with you.

Quote me as much as you want if you have any questions. I would be really happy if you were to do that.
I will be eagerly waiting for the day your light of rebellion blinds the enemy to death.
Take care.

 

[SdD]

I think i decide to suicide . Maybe i will reincarnation after 90-100 years and maybe in this period of time world will be good for me i hope you guys will have good life

Ouch. A shame if you killed yourself, but for those who will read this know that there are beings that suck the suicides, don't think that you will stay in the astral waiting for incarnation, because it is not like that in the real world, very sad a life like that, to go through all of yours things, however this is what these entities want to do with cosmic beings

 

[ForVery]

I think i decide to suicide . Maybe i will reincarnation after 90-100 years and maybe in this period of time world will be good for me i hope you guys will have good life

Ouch. A shame if you killed yourself, but for those who will read this know that there are beings that suck the suicides, don't think that you will stay in the astral waiting for incarnation, because it is not like that in the real world, very sad a life like that, to go through all of yours things, however this is what these entities want to do with cosmic beings

 

[SeaGoat_666]

My life is too hard . I was raped 7 times until I was 10 years old. At the age of 12, my father was killed by a serial killer. my life was full of poverty and misery. Last month I was cheated by my girlfriend. I started smoking. I don't know what to do, I don't want to be a god. I don't want to do anything, I'm losing myself and disconnected from life, what I did for this. Bad karma? Bad chart? idk humans are disgusting and sickly we don't even deserve to be saved what should i do now im 18 years old btw for this age its too much for me i cannot carry anymore

Sorry for the late reply.
If you are still around,
Simply say "I love myself" before bed until you fall asleep, and right when you get up.
I recommend you do a revenge ritual , the instructions are found under Standard Destruction Ritual on the JoS website. The point is to vent out all of your pent up feelings until the point of exhaustion for days, weeks, months, however long it takes you. Visualize all of those negative feelings swarming those who raped and mistreated you, punish them in your mind to your heart's content. Offer any excess negativity up to the Powers of Hell. They will happily use it for spiritual warfare.
Always clean your aura afterwards with a mantra. The sun is one of the most powerful, vibrate RAUM as many times as you need, until you feel lighter and more relieved, and energized.
Try and spend time in direct sunlight to help you banish depression, and clean your aura.
Drink lots of water. Water is related to emotions and is good for cleansing. Don't swallow your feelings. Vent them out with whatever exercise or activity makes you happy.
Practice not dwelling on justice, revenge, nor on the attacks you experienced. Save it for the Destruction Ritual (this is your time to vent), and spend the rest of your time taking it one day, one task or activity at a time.
Follow whatever makes you feel happier, more secure, and healthier. And keep track of how you feel one day at a time. Look forwards, not backwards.
Whenever you feel negative thoughts creeping in, allow yourself to be human and cry or scream into a pillow. Let it out and move on.
Repeat to yourself whatever phrase gives you a feeling of hope or at least focus or strength, such as "Keep moving forward."
Stay safe, stay strong, stay focused.