schwarze Krähe said:
I'm from Brazil and I have a white racial soul. But I was sadly and unfortunately mixed. I have Slavic, Germanic and possibly Spanish roots. I don't want to go into specific details of speculation as to why I was born so mixed race, and in such a racially complicated situation, but I would like your opinion on why... but I feel like a very degenerate person due to dysgenics. I suffered and still suffer in my head from low self-esteem. I have a lot of doubts about sexual partners because I like blondes, and white women in general. but I feel like I've completely failed in the sexual field because I don't want brown/brown women because I know that deep down I'm white. very complicated situation. My biggest dream is to have my Slavic or German genetics again because I feel that deep down I am this... sometimes I have doubts if I will be able to achieve M.O IN THIS LIFE BECAUSE I DON'T SEE much progress in 7 years of meditation. I'm going to pursue the purpose of my life, which is to regenerate myself... many white people here in Brazil have already made fun of me about being mixed race and this has branded my soul with a hot iron and I cannot die without achieving this purpose, because I am very sad and in existential crisis for years.
Your own low self-esteem and hangups about this is leading you to seek external forms of validation, as well as block out the women of your own race, which your mind paints as "degenerate" as well.
However, if you achieve a white girl, you will still feel internally bad, as she cannot fix how you view yourself. This is the nature of problems which stem from lack of self-love, as you try to fill the void with external things.
You need to focus more on increasing your own self-value and pride. Start by not shitting on yourself, and also try to read about great people of your own race. This is important because you are not going to ever change race; not now or not in 1000 years.
Maybe this statement upsets you, but it actually shouldn't, because your own soul, white or mixed, has the potential for massive degrees of value, beauty, and pride. It is just your mind fighting against this, convincing you that this is not true, for some reason.
Even if you do not want to accept this, you should still do a working with energies of Saulo and Wunjo to increase your feelings of self-value and pride, in the best way for you. Let the working run its natural course and do not try to restrict how you think it should go.
Satan created all the races for a specific reason, and it was NOT for you or others to feel bad or guilty about, but rather for a much higher spiritual purpose and plan that only the Gods know the full details on.