Hi, please help me

[Ruby]

When I started to worship Satan, everything worked well, before making commitment, ive done the ritual, this was a mistake but anyways it was ok, even my anorexia got healed a lot. but in my commitment, I forgot to say hail Satan in the end, it was completely an accidental mistake, and also after that, I started to do s.h. again. All the sign, all the energy, everything was gone. I had the feeling of writing and writing apologies. I couldn't stop. I wrote over than 15 pages of apology for lord satan. I wrote pages and pages of prayers. I understood the issue, and I fixed it I guess, I promised I will never do self harm again, but still that feeling, and even some my prayers turned opposite... and also ive been skipping power meditations because of my super busy schedule. Everything is messed up. I just want to cry and apologize. What should I do? Power meditation? Ritual? Commitment again? I feel so bad. I feel like I was deprived of the grace of the father and he turned his wise gaze away from me. What should I do. I am even crying right now.

And also, there are many power meditations in the beginner level, I like energy meditation and void meditation and breath practice (I was a swimmer, they are so easy for me)

Please help me, since it's the most important thing I need now.

 

[xScorpionPriestessx]

Love, listen; you don't need to redo the commitment. It says on the dedication ritual page that the dedication ritual should only be done once, unless you had to do it on the astral plane for safety reasons, then in that case, you could do it again in the physical realm when it is safe for you to do so. But, since you did it in the physical, there's no need to do it again. You didn't mess up, everyone makes mistakes. Just pray to Father and express your concerns if you feel you have wronged him, but to me it sounds like you did nothing wrong. Everyone is busy and has lives of their own. I will tell you this; any promises you make, you need to keep them. Not because you'll be harmed in any way or anything like that, but because of the reason that if you make promises to Father, he's gonna expect you to keep them. This path is all about growth, reaching enlightenment, learning to awaken your psychic senses and empowering yourself. I would suggest you try to come up with a schedule for the power meditations, and stick to it. Even if you can only do them once a day, try to carve out the time from your day so you can focus on yourself and your meditations. Go in your room and lock the door if need be. Some meditations are longer than others, but most of the beginner ones are simple and not time consuming. I believe in you, friend. You can do this

 

[xScorpionPriestessx]

Also, I wanted to add, I used to S.H. when I was younger, I'm almost 29 now. Things will get better, I promise you. Finding other outlets for my pain is what helped me. Go out in the forest and scream at the top of your lungs, or in a car, bc cars are somewhat sound proof. Punch the fuck out of something soft, so you won't hurt yourself. Please, don't mutilate your body, sweetness. Take it from someone whose been there. You don't deserve that. Nobody does.. And I just wanted to say, if you ever need someone to talk to or just to vent about things, I'll listen. We as devotees of Father have to stick together.

 

[Ruby]

Thank you so much. I'm gonna do the standard ritual again. Today I've don't the void meditation and it was literally like traveling into another dimension! Like I felt like a feather, my mind was empty (mostly, just two times two songs played in my head) and I felt shock waves in my face and my body, I didn't even feel the chair I was sitting on, it really felt like traveling to another dimension! And I snapped out of it with a sound, and it was like 8 minutes! It was so so amazing, and after that, I felt so much better. And magically, my schedule changed and now I have the time to do standard ritual.
I also have a question, there are like several meditations in beginner level, can I only do energy meditation and void meditation and breath exercise?

 

[Power of Justice [JG]]

Thank you so much. I'm gonna do the standard ritual again. Today I've don't the void meditation and it was literally like traveling into another dimension! Like I felt like a feather, my mind was empty (mostly, just two times two songs played in my head) and I felt shock waves in my face and my body, I didn't even feel the chair I was sitting on, it really felt like traveling to another dimension! And I snapped out of it with a sound, and it was like 8 minutes! It was so so amazing, and after that, I felt so much better. And magically, my schedule changed and now I have the time to do standard ritual.
I also have a question, there are like several meditations in beginner level, can I only do energy meditation and void meditation and breath exercise?

Yes, go at your own pace and build a solid foundation through mastery of the basic skills.

 

[Ruby]

Thanks. But I guess I messed up again... in the middle of ritual, when I failed to meditate (I felt really unsafe and uneasy to close my eyes, and i could not do it with eyes open. I wanted to be more alert, idk why) I started crying again... but I feel better now, like more experience than guilt.
Thank you for answering me patiently.

 

[BlackRam666]

Thanks. But I guess I messed up again... in the middle of ritual, when I failed to meditate (I felt really unsafe and uneasy to close my eyes, and i could not do it with eyes open. I wanted to be more alert, idk why) I started crying again... but I feel better now, like more experience than guilt.
Thank you for answering me patiently.

Hi Ruby,

Please do not worry about your dedication ritual. It sounds like you so badly wanted it to be perfect. As the dedication page says on the JoS site, it is the intent that counts. Satan knows you weren't being flippant.

The important thing now is to advance as best you can.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

When I started to worship Satan, everything worked well, before making commitment, ive done the ritual, this was a mistake but anyways it was ok, even my anorexia got healed a lot. but in my commitment, I forgot to say hail Satan in the end, it was completely an accidental mistake, and also after that, I started to do s.h. again. All the sign, all the energy, everything was gone. I had the feeling of writing and writing apologies. I couldn't stop. I wrote over than 15 pages of apology for lord satan. I wrote pages and pages of prayers. I understood the issue, and I fixed it I guess, I promised I will never do self harm again, but still that feeling, and even some my prayers turned opposite... and also ive been skipping power meditations because of my super busy schedule. Everything is messed up. I just want to cry and apologize. What should I do? Power meditation? Ritual? Commitment again? I feel so bad. I feel like I was deprived of the grace of the father and he turned his wise gaze away from me. What should I do. I am even crying right now.

And also, there are many power meditations in the beginner level, I like energy meditation and void meditation and breath practice (I was a swimmer, they are so easy for me)

Please help me, since it's the most important thing I need now.

Your mind and emotions can very well "remove" the benefits of something through your panic. In other words, the energy and feeling of abandonment were the result of your own soul, not Satan, and probably even self-inflicted on a subconscious level. You may feel unworthy, therefore your soul or mind unconsciously close off the connections or abilities which pertain to what you perceive as a reward (such as attention from Satan or your successful sensation of energy).

Remember also that relapse is common and patterns take time to change. Don't promise that you will never ever do something again because this is like an unrealistic promise in the case where the underlying cause was not resolved. Yet, by not fulfilling this unrealistic promise, it feeds into the sensation of guilt which itself drives the self-harm or other self-destructive behaviors. Many drug addicts also fall into this trap of feeling like failures because they couldn't immediately stop all drug use, but this is unrealistic.

Read more on the reply I just made to someone else: https://ancient-forums.com/threads/stress-of-failure.293493/#post-1097816

 

[Ruby]

I really didn't, I resisted, I did nothing. But last night, my head felt like my veins are gonna explode. I cried in pain that I could not get rid of without s.h. all I wanted was to do something, to give myself a bigger pain, so the pain will go away. and I still resisted. But that experience was awful. Honestly I felt like veins in my brain are gonna explode because my heartbeat and blood pressure gone so high and i thought I'm gonna die from the extreme pressure I felt in my head.

How can I remove that promise? I can't. I can't anymore.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

I really didn't, I resisted, I did nothing. But last night, my head felt like my veins are gonna explode. I cried in pain that I could not get rid of without s.h. all I wanted was to do something, to give myself a bigger pain, so the pain will go away. and I still resisted. But that experience was awful. Honestly I felt like veins in my brain are gonna explode because my heartbeat and blood pressure gone so high and i thought I'm gonna die from the extreme pressure I felt in my head.

How can I remove that promise? I can't. I can't anymore.

You are doing well. Resisting helps your soul rewire and find better outlets for dealing with pain or stress, rather than giving in to what is easy, but ultimately self-destructive.

Regarding the pain, you should focus on anything yin-related to calm yourself: Deep breathing, hatha yoga or qigong, alternate nose or even lunar nostril breathing, acupoints like large intestine 4 on the hand, etc. All of these will reduce uncontrolled blood pressure, panic, or pain.

By the way, do you think the pain you felt is a backlash to reducing s.h. or just related to general panic? Was there any accompanying stressors that led to this. What emotions did you feel; what thoughts were going through your mind?

 

[xScorpionPriestessx]

You are doing well. Resisting helps your soul rewire and find better outlets for dealing with pain or stress, rather than giving in to what is easy, but ultimately self-destructive.

Regarding the pain, you should focus on anything yin-related to calm yourself: Deep breathing, hatha yoga or qigong, alternate nose or even lunar nostril breathing, acupoints like large intestine 4 on the hand, etc. All of these will reduce uncontrolled blood pressure, panic, or pain.

By the way, do you think the pain you felt is a backlash to reducing s.h. or just related to general panic? Was there any accompanying stressors that led to this. What emotions did you feel; what thoughts were going through your mind?

Brother, you are truly a light in this community. Reading your replies to this just had me in awe of your intelligence and the way you help others shines brightly. Just had to tell you that; I've always been the type of person who naturally feels drawn to truly help others, not in the shallow, cliche way some people "help" others. I love to see others who share the same passion for enlightening others and uplifting those around us, so long as they aren't a hindrance to our own energy and such. Keep shining that light, Brother Blitzkreig. Love to see it
On another note, you seem truly knowledgeable about a wide variety of subjects. I've noticed since joining JOS that unlike other paths in the occult and spirituality, Spiritual Satanism shines above the rest as being the place where true wisdom and enlightenment lies. This is how I know for certain in my heart and soul that JOS is truly the House of the Gods. Every devotee I've come across in the short amount of time since joining, they are all so intelligent. Each in their own way, it's truly a beautiful thing to see; especially in this day and age where ignorance is rampant. I truly beam with eternal joy for having finally found MY PEOPLE!

 

[BlackRam666]

Brother, you are truly a light in this community. Reading your replies to this just had me in awe of your intelligence and the way you help others shines brightly. Just had to tell you that; I've always been the type of person who naturally feels drawn to truly help others, not in the shallow, cliche way some people "help" others. I love to see others who share the same passion for enlightening others and uplifting those around us, so long as they aren't a hindrance to our own energy and such. Keep shining that light, Brother Blitzkreig. Love to see it
On another note, you seem truly knowledgeable about a wide variety of subjects. I've noticed since joining JOS that unlike other paths in the occult and spirituality, Spiritual Satanism shines above the rest as being the place where true wisdom and enlightenment lies. This is how I know for certain in my heart and soul that JOS is truly the House of the Gods. Every devotee I've come across in the short amount of time since joining, they are all so intelligent. Each in their own way, it's truly a beautiful thing to see; especially in this day and age where ignorance is rampant. I truly beam with eternal joy for having finally found MY PEOPLE!

Thank you so much for writing this as I whole heartedly agree.

Brother Blitzkeig is such an inspiration and a positive role model. I was lurking here on the forums for a good year before I dedicated and he always continually impressed me with his informative, helpful, and thoughtful responses. It really came as no surprise that he became a JG here. Thanks for all that you do, Brother Blitzkreig!

Apologies for this slight intermission, Ruby.

 

[Ruby]

I was bothered, uncomfortable, angry, I guess I became super sensitive. The whole reason I experienced that was because of something so trivial.

And I usually feel like this. When my classmates bully me or talk to me in rude way and mock me, they even mock me when I ask a question related to subject in class. it almost is a daily thing for me. Before that, I went to bathroom and harmed myself, but now i dont. that's why I really want to find a way so they get kicked out of our school (5 students), they deserve it, i really want to manifest it, i just dont know how. (our school is a high class, special school that only students who pass and exam can enter it and they will get kicked out if they don't meet certain standards)

Even now that I'm home, I feel like my head is exploding.

Today one was sorusde to me and I answered, but I'm still angry and I want to cry. It's not the first time. I don't want to adopt to these. I want a revenge.

For torturing me so long, being rude and mocking me, they deserve getting all they "high class elite school ego" getting destroyed.

They always treated me like a trashcan, like they can throw anything they like in me! But now, I want to destroy them.

 

[Ruby]

You are doing well. Resisting helps your soul rewire and find better outlets for dealing with pain or stress, rather than giving in to what is easy, but ultimately self-destructive.

Regarding the pain, you should focus on anything yin-related to calm yourself: Deep breathing, hatha yoga or qigong, alternate nose or even lunar nostril breathing, acupoints like large intestine 4 on the hand, etc. All of these will reduce uncontrolled blood pressure, panic, or pain.

By the way, do you think the pain you felt is a backlash to reducing s.h. or just related to general panic? Was there any accompanying stressors that led to this. What emotions did you feel; what thoughts were going through your mind?

Sorry I didn't know how to exactly reply
I always press the quote button instead of reply

 

[UDDTHU]

(Sorry for my bad English I use translate)

Hello, my friend! The insights shared by others are very accurate, and you haven't done anything wrong—you're now welcomed by Satan. It seems like you're overthinking things a bit, but there’s no need to worry. Welcome to our community! I suggest practicing aura cleansing and protection meditation daily to keep negative feelings at bay. Additionally, void meditation can help you manage your thoughts, make better decisions, and maintain a positive mindset. It was wonderful to see your enthusiasm for joining Lord Satan. Trust that a beautiful sign from Father Satan awaits you soon. I've put together a list to help you get started with your meditations and soul development. Best of luck on your journey!

This is a PDF of the 40 day meditation path map. It is important to follow the given instructions first. Over time, when you feel stronger, you can add meditations to your program according to your needs and preferences:

https://satanslibrary.org/hp_hooded_cobra_40_day_meditation_program.pdf

It is better to read this completely:

A Beginner's Guide (Split Post)

This post is old and outdated. Began February 2023, abandoned in October. Reformatted for the new forum. Split into two posts (one after the other) as it exceeded the character limit. A handful of dead links have been removed. The Joy of Satan Ministries: The purpose of Its existence, and what...

ancient-forums.com

Be sure to take a look at this and write down the important information and act on it:

Roadmaps

Community driven roadmaps, articles and guides for developers to grow in their career.

roadmap.sh

 

[UDDTHU]

Next, I want to tell you that Ruby, my friend, we all started like you one day. I was also very concerned about my commitment to Lord Satan. We are accepted by Lord Satan and our gods. Please ask us any other questions you may have. And continue your journey. We are here to help you my friend.