sij.cindori
New member
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2014
- Messages
- 0
To add a little context, I'll give a short version of my "career" as an SS. I started off, meditating every day, practicing magick, learning, I had so much enthusiasm. But I've always been a weak person, I give in to laziness, and make excuses a lot. (Something I am still currently working on.) I fell in 'love' with a man who manipulated me, and things just spiraled downhill from there. I eventually fell into a great depression that was only cured when I traveled to China to join a martial arts school. Once at the school, after about 2 months of crap ( I was working in return for my training and the owner was kind of a task master) I found my passion for Yang Taiji Quan. Once in the groove I was practicing Taiji and Qigong about 6 hours a day. and on my breaks I was meditating for at least 30 to 45 minutes, (about 3 hours in total every day), at this time I was at my happiest, and most powerful, but I soon had to leave the school. It became apparent that the owner was trying to trap me there (had possession of my passport even) I was bailed out by my roomate at the time. (also a Satanist, wouldn't you guess). From there once again I fell down. I just kind of stopped, no meditating, no martial arts, nothing. Now it's going on two years from being there and I'm in the worst shape possible, and my spiritual energies are utterly non existing.
And now to the point after my long, drawn out ramblings, I'm married to a man that I love but don't want to be with (I feel such a deep connection with him that the thought of leaving him brings about legitimate thoughts of suicide in order to get out of the relationship without as much pain for myself), and I work an 8 hour shift job and I feel like I have no time. I want to change my life and I'm gonna need whatever help I can get. Be it advice or actual help. I've deleted all my video games, and have chosen to dedicate my time to myself as a Satanist, sense I don't have time for both, I've gotten rid of the less important one. But as I said before, I've always been a person with excuses, and I need as much help as I can get to break through this freaking wall that has been placed in front of me.
If any of you have any advice for me, or anything please send me an email at Sij.Cindori@....
Thank you for your time.
Hail Father Satan!
Hail the Almighty Gods of duat!!
Much love to my brothers and sisters in Satan.
And now to the point after my long, drawn out ramblings, I'm married to a man that I love but don't want to be with (I feel such a deep connection with him that the thought of leaving him brings about legitimate thoughts of suicide in order to get out of the relationship without as much pain for myself), and I work an 8 hour shift job and I feel like I have no time. I want to change my life and I'm gonna need whatever help I can get. Be it advice or actual help. I've deleted all my video games, and have chosen to dedicate my time to myself as a Satanist, sense I don't have time for both, I've gotten rid of the less important one. But as I said before, I've always been a person with excuses, and I need as much help as I can get to break through this freaking wall that has been placed in front of me.
If any of you have any advice for me, or anything please send me an email at Sij.Cindori@....
Thank you for your time.
Hail Father Satan!
Hail the Almighty Gods of duat!!
Much love to my brothers and sisters in Satan.