Giving something back to the Gods

[Azorm]

So I need a help with healing some nasty traumas. I will do summon one of the Gods and will talk with Satan too about my problems. Gods were helping me with some stuff before too, so it's not the first time I recieved their help. Honestly, they are really humble. They are not asking much in return, at least those who were helping me before. One of them even asked me just to spend some time with them in return.

I'm interested what I can offer to the Gods in return to their help. I know that I can do some extra RTRs, I can maybe draw them or write some poem or something tho honestly I somehow feel that I'm not even so good with drawing portraits of them, I mean idk how much they like it nor how much it means for them ( they looked happy when I drew them few times but idk really are my drawings and paintings that good at all), and with poems and similar it seems I have some internal blockages to do it properly (I'm not really confident with those things at all tbh). Basically I have a feel it would be the best to just do more RTRs in return but is there anything more I can do? Looking for more ideas. This is really important to me and I want to give them something really good in return for their help.

 

[Ghost in the Machine]

So I need a help with healing some nasty traumas. I will do summon one of the Gods and will talk with Satan too about my problems. Gods were helping me with some stuff before too, so it's not the first time I recieved their help. Honestly, they are really humble. They are not asking much in return, at least those who were helping me before. One of them even asked me just to spend some time with them in return.

I'm interested what I can offer to the Gods in return to their help. I know that I can do some extra RTRs, I can maybe draw them or write some poem or something tho honestly I somehow feel that I'm not even so good with drawing portraits of them, I mean idk how much they like it nor how much it means for them ( they looked happy when I drew them few times but idk really are my drawings and paintings that good at all), and with poems and similar it seems I have some internal blockages to do it properly (I'm not really confident with those things at all tbh). Basically I have a feel it would be the best to just do more RTRs in return but is there anything more I can do? Looking for more ideas. This is really important to me and I want to give them something really good in return for their help.

When summoning a demon for help they usually want something specific, you can't really just assume for the most part what they want and think that's that. Usually when I summon one of the demons for help or guidance with something I prefer to do something for them first on my end before receiving the help, this way I can be sure I've actually given them what they wanted, fulfilled my end of the deal and didn't misinterpret anything.

I can't yet actually hear the responses of the demons I summon to hear exactly what they want in return, so usually what I do after talking to them and they're willing to help me, is I start listing off a bunch of plausible things to them that I can do, I'll use some general suggestions but I'll also look at the information about them on our website to see what their office is and things they enjoy/do.

When I feel intense bliss in my 6th chakra for one of the suggestions then that's the 'yes' answer to what they want in return, and then I work to do it for them. I usually receive their end of the agreement soon after I've done mine.

Just try asking the god personally what they want instead of trying to figure it out and make it up for yourself. They do usually want something specific.

 

[MoonlessNight666]

So I need a help with healing some nasty traumas. I will do summon one of the Gods and will talk with Satan too about my problems. Gods were helping me with some stuff before too, so it's not the first time I recieved their help. Honestly, they are really humble. They are not asking much in return, at least those who were helping me before. One of them even asked me just to spend some time with them in return.

I'm interested what I can offer to the Gods in return to their help. I know that I can do some extra RTRs, I can maybe draw them or write some poem or something tho honestly I somehow feel that I'm not even so good with drawing portraits of them, I mean idk how much they like it nor how much it means for them ( they looked happy when I drew them few times but idk really are my drawings and paintings that good at all), and with poems and similar it seems I have some internal blockages to do it properly (I'm not really confident with those things at all tbh). Basically I have a feel it would be the best to just do more RTRs in return but is there anything more I can do? Looking for more ideas. This is really important to me and I want to give them something really good in return for their help.

Here's my 2cents on this, I love painting but I am not %100 in my abilities as well and the other day when ı was pondering on the subject I realized that whatever you draw doesn't have to end right there. What Im trying to say is, say you drew Satan's picture. You can always come back to that painting in a year or two when you got better and improved it. Art is an ongoing journey and I personally think it's better to create something best to your abilities than not create it at all. When you draw you also see your shortcomings and u know what to focus on

 

[Academic Scholar]

So I need a help with healing some nasty traumas.

"Posting this as I've recommended it to a few SS. The healthier we are in every way, the better our success, the better our future. You can do a few cycles of 40 days, or one 90 day working, or whatever you feel you need.

This is best done when the Moon is in Scorpio, as Scorpio rules transformations, drastic changes, and psychological issues. Moon in Pisces is the only other moon sign appropriate for this working.

The day itself doesn't matter so much as the Moon sign/phase, so even Venus day is fine. The waning side of a full moon is best but the timing doesn't always work out.

Hour of Sun (Self), Moon (unconscious, emotions, habits), Jupiter (good stuff) or just whatever works in your schedule for the day. Don't obsess over the hour too much, occasionally doing it in say Mars won't ruin the working.

Rune: Wunjo (or any other variations, Waunyo, Vend, Vin, Wynn). Its number is 8 so you can do 88 reps, 40 for people who aren't used to higher reps, or whatever amount you feel is best for you.

Affirmation 9x: "In a positive and healthy manner for me, the energies of [Wunjo or variation of] are totally and completely healing me from any and all psychological, mental, and emotional damage and pain".

Now, this is going to bring up some ugly stuff. For example, if you lived in fear as a child and always had stomach aches, this working might bring them back. You might also get flashes throughout the day of memories of trauma and so on. But it won't last long. Just keep it up and you will come out of it stronger (and saner) than ever." - Lydia
Source:
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/JoyofSatan666/conversations/messages/176994

 

[Azorm]

So I need a help with healing some nasty traumas. I will do summon one of the Gods and will talk with Satan too about my problems. Gods were helping me with some stuff before too, so it's not the first time I recieved their help. Honestly, they are really humble. They are not asking much in return, at least those who were helping me before. One of them even asked me just to spend some time with them in return.

I'm interested what I can offer to the Gods in return to their help. I know that I can do some extra RTRs, I can maybe draw them or write some poem or something tho honestly I somehow feel that I'm not even so good with drawing portraits of them, I mean idk how much they like it nor how much it means for them ( they looked happy when I drew them few times but idk really are my drawings and paintings that good at all), and with poems and similar it seems I have some internal blockages to do it properly (I'm not really confident with those things at all tbh). Basically I have a feel it would be the best to just do more RTRs in return but is there anything more I can do? Looking for more ideas. This is really important to me and I want to give them something really good in return for their help.

When summoning a demon for help they usually want something specific, you can't really just assume for the most part what they want and think that's that. Usually when I summon one of the demons for help or guidance with something I prefer to do something for them first on my end before receiving the help, this way I can be sure I've actually given them what they wanted, fulfilled my end of the deal and didn't misinterpret anything.

I can't yet actually hear the responses of the demons I summon to hear exactly what they want in return, so usually what I do after talking to them and they're willing to help me, is I start listing off a bunch of plausible things to them that I can do, I'll use some general suggestions but I'll also look at the information about them on our website to see what their office is and things they enjoy/do.

When I feel intense bliss in my 6th chakra for one of the suggestions then that's the 'yes' answer to what they want in return, and then I work to do it for them. I usually receive their end of the agreement soon after I've done mine.

Just try asking the god personally what they want instead of trying to figure it out and make it up for yourself. They do usually want something specific.

I'm looking for some nice new ideas what I can give the Gods in return (not only this time) and I kinda want to give them someting even more they asked me for, like a gift. But okay, I will manage. I mean I understand what you wanna say. Just wanna give something like a gift too + what they are asking for. Usually they help me when I do some extra rituals and some lil sketch of them. I think I know who I will ask for help now. I will figure out something. I guess getting know what they like will help me a lot.

 

[Ghost in the Machine]

I'm looking for some nice new ideas what I can give the Gods in return (not only this time) and I kinda want to give them someting even more they asked me for, like a gift. But okay, I will manage. I mean I understand what you wanna say. Just wanna give something like a gift too + what they are asking for. Usually they help me when I do some extra rituals and some lil sketch of them. I think I know who I will ask for help now. I will figure out something. I guess getting know what they like will help me a lot.

Gift what you want to gift within your interest and capabilities. Most of my gifts are drawings and writings because I am good at both and enjoy both and can express my adoration more easily through it. You don't have to go above and beyond, they know and feel your love more than you're aware.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

So I need a help with healing some nasty traumas. I will do summon one of the Gods and will talk with Satan too about my problems. Gods were helping me with some stuff before too, so it's not the first time I recieved their help. Honestly, they are really humble. They are not asking much in return, at least those who were helping me before. One of them even asked me just to spend some time with them in return.

I'm interested what I can offer to the Gods in return to their help. I know that I can do some extra RTRs, I can maybe draw them or write some poem or something tho honestly I somehow feel that I'm not even so good with drawing portraits of them, I mean idk how much they like it nor how much it means for them ( they looked happy when I drew them few times but idk really are my drawings and paintings that good at all), and with poems and similar it seems I have some internal blockages to do it properly (I'm not really confident with those things at all tbh). Basically I have a feel it would be the best to just do more RTRs in return but is there anything more I can do? Looking for more ideas. This is really important to me and I want to give them something really good in return for their help.

When summoning a demon for help they usually want something specific, you can't really just assume for the most part what they want and think that's that. Usually when I summon one of the demons for help or guidance with something I prefer to do something for them first on my end before receiving the help, this way I can be sure I've actually given them what they wanted, fulfilled my end of the deal and didn't misinterpret anything.

I can't yet actually hear the responses of the demons I summon to hear exactly what they want in return, so usually what I do after talking to them and they're willing to help me, is I start listing off a bunch of plausible things to them that I can do, I'll use some general suggestions but I'll also look at the information about them on our website to see what their office is and things they enjoy/do.

When I feel intense bliss in my 6th chakra for one of the suggestions then that's the 'yes' answer to what they want in return, and then I work to do it for them. I usually receive their end of the agreement soon after I've done mine.

Just try asking the god personally what they want instead of trying to figure it out and make it up for yourself. They do usually want something specific.

I'm looking for some nice new ideas what I can give the Gods in return (not only this time) and I kinda want to give them someting even more they asked me for, like a gift. But okay, I will manage. I mean I understand what you wanna say. Just wanna give something like a gift too + what they are asking for. Usually they help me when I do some extra rituals and some lil sketch of them. I think I know who I will ask for help now. I will figure out something. I guess getting know what they like will help me a lot.

Good luck Azorm. You are a great person you deserve it.

 

[Azorm]

Good luck Azorm. You are a great person you deserve it.

Thank you honey. Sorry for being silent lately, I don't have much energy for talking and to do anything anymore, I was busy a lot and it seems that one bad thing is happening after another, but it will be easier once I heal some stuff, I'm sure of it.

 

[Azorm]

I'm looking for some nice new ideas what I can give the Gods in return (not only this time) and I kinda want to give them someting even more they asked me for, like a gift. But okay, I will manage. I mean I understand what you wanna say. Just wanna give something like a gift too + what they are asking for. Usually they help me when I do some extra rituals and some lil sketch of them. I think I know who I will ask for help now. I will figure out something. I guess getting know what they like will help me a lot.

Gift what you want to gift within your interest and capabilities. Most of my gifts are drawings and writings because I am good at both and enjoy both and can express my adoration more easily through it. You don't have to go above and beyond, they know and feel your love more than you're aware.

Okay then. Thanks.

"Posting this as I've recommended it to a few SS. The healthier we are in every way, the better our success, the better our future. You can do a few cycles of 40 days, or one 90 day working, or whatever you feel you need.

I know about healing workings. I'm not new here, just in really deep shit lately and need some extra help. Thanks anyways.

Here's my 2cents on this, I love painting but I am not %100 in my abilities as well and the other day when ı was pondering on the subject I realized that whatever you draw doesn't have to end right there. What Im trying to say is, say you drew Satan's picture. You can always come back to that painting in a year or two when you got better and improved it. Art is an ongoing journey and I personally think it's better to create something best to your abilities than not create it at all. When you draw you also see your shortcomings and u know what to focus on

I had some paintings I thought they are good. I even shared it with some people. I thought that they are okay. Looked again at them before few days... damn hahahahaah
Now idk what to say. Basically everytime you advance and look back at your own work it will look silly, but I started doubting it all. So I am bad artist after all? If something is good shouldn't be good always? I'm feeling stuck lately honestly, lot of bad thoughts are in my head when I'm trying to draw and paint. I'm not feeling confident at all.

And, let's say I have talent. So why things aren't going for me nicely when I try to move in that direction? Apparently all the bad things in me are affecting and blocking me to be a succesful artist. I feel often lot of frustration tho I love art, I feel blocked more and more and angry about it all.

Then, let's be realistic. I live in a small and poor country and it's really hard to get out of here, and if I stay here it will be hard to earn money and to survive. So can I really have enough money with my art? Can I manage to have a decent life?
Some people are like - if you love art just be an artist and earn money from it. Honestly, it's not easy, especially in my situation. I'm trying to be grounded now more and to see can I really stay this way, or I must give up from art?

Being an artist is not easy at all, honestly. You need a peace for it, lots of space and people who will support you and pay you for your arworks, but today for many it's getting hard cause of all that pressure and stress. Like creating something good is not hard enough on it's own, but you always must feel that extra pressure because of things being how they are. It makes you slowly frustrated and can make you feel blocked. I just wanna give up at this point, but I will see still. Gotta see first is there any way for me to get some money from it, cause every time I tried to earn something, it all ended up with me getting no money at all, even when I finished commisions. So I will aim for something safer, not just for few commisions there and there. I'm still not popular so similar things can happen, better focus on something that will really give me money. Well if nothing, later when this all calms down, this crazy situation in the world, and when kikes lose power I will for sure be more in this. Those are my thoughts lately kinda.. I want to advance and to be an artist, just a bit not sure what to feel about it all right now, feeling lots of bad emotions.

 

[Eric13]

...And, let's say I have talent. So why things aren't going for me nicely when I try to move in that direction?...

Hi Azorm, I feel your struggle in these types of pursuits, what I can say, is that you must be aware that even the most talented successful people, often times, have an extraordinarily difficult time finding success, even despite their talent and hardworking nature.

There are many factors. Transits and astrological conditions being some of the most important, so consider that as well. Take advantage of prime times and do workings during those moments and when things aren’t at their most favorable, step back and focus just on honing and advancing your craft.

Art is very subjective as well, so you can’t expect that every action you take to advance your career or to build a career will be a success. Life unfortunately doesn’t work that way in the real world. But just because an action does little doesn’t mean give up. Every little thing adds up. Oh what is the ocean but a multitude of drops.

Also for creative careers you really must create a solid practical plan. You need to focus on promotion as well. Getting your art out there for those to see. Creating your brand and making people aware of it. That’s the most important thing. People need to be aware of your art for money to come your way. I can’t give specific advice on how to achieve that in your field as I don’t know much about drawing and painting, but no matter what field you’re in, you are building a business and a business needs customers and clientele. For that marketing is the most important thing. Even more than your talent. Have you seen untalented people who are successful? This is because they had an avenue to get people’s attention and awareness and also gave people a reason for people to buy into them. You need that as well, which means you need to know your audience.

 

[Fuchs]

I'm interested what I can offer to the Gods in return to their help.

You can help here:

JoS Activism - SS Internet Batallion
https://ancient-forums.com/viewforum.php?f=27

or answer peoples question here on the forum.

-> Quick links -> Unanswered topics

 

[MercuryWisdom]

I'm looking for some nice new ideas what I can give the Gods in return (not only this time) and I kinda want to give them someting even more they asked me for, like a gift. But okay, I will manage. I mean I understand what you wanna say. Just wanna give something like a gift too + what they are asking for. Usually they help me when I do some extra rituals and some lil sketch of them. I think I know who I will ask for help now. I will figure out something. I guess getting know what they like will help me a lot.

Gift what you want to gift within your interest and capabilities. Most of my gifts are drawings and writings because I am good at both and enjoy both and can express my adoration more easily through it. You don't have to go above and beyond, they know and feel your love more than you're aware.

Okay then. Thanks.

"Posting this as I've recommended it to a few SS. The healthier we are in every way, the better our success, the better our future. You can do a few cycles of 40 days, or one 90 day working, or whatever you feel you need.

I know about healing workings. I'm not new here, just in really deep shit lately and need some extra help. Thanks anyways.

Here's my 2cents on this, I love painting but I am not %100 in my abilities as well and the other day when ı was pondering on the subject I realized that whatever you draw doesn't have to end right there. What Im trying to say is, say you drew Satan's picture. You can always come back to that painting in a year or two when you got better and improved it. Art is an ongoing journey and I personally think it's better to create something best to your abilities than not create it at all. When you draw you also see your shortcomings and u know what to focus on

I had some paintings I thought they are good. I even shared it with some people. I thought that they are okay. Looked again at them before few days... damn hahahahaah
Now idk what to say. Basically everytime you advance and look back at your own work it will look silly, but I started doubting it all. So I am bad artist after all? If something is good shouldn't be good always? I'm feeling stuck lately honestly, lot of bad thoughts are in my head when I'm trying to draw and paint. I'm not feeling confident at all.

And, let's say I have talent. So why things aren't going for me nicely when I try to move in that direction? Apparently all the bad things in me are affecting and blocking me to be a succesful artist. I feel often lot of frustration tho I love art, I feel blocked more and more and angry about it all.

Then, let's be realistic. I live in a small and poor country and it's really hard to get out of here, and if I stay here it will be hard to earn money and to survive. So can I really have enough money with my art? Can I manage to have a decent life?
Some people are like - if you love art just be an artist and earn money from it. Honestly, it's not easy, especially in my situation. I'm trying to be grounded now more and to see can I really stay this way, or I must give up from art?

Being an artist is not easy at all, honestly. You need a peace for it, lots of space and people who will support you and pay you for your arworks, but today for many it's getting hard cause of all that pressure and stress. Like creating something good is not hard enough on it's own, but you always must feel that extra pressure because of things being how they are. It makes you slowly frustrated and can make you feel blocked. I just wanna give up at this point, but I will see still. Gotta see first is there any way for me to get some money from it, cause every time I tried to earn something, it all ended up with me getting no money at all, even when I finished commisions. So I will aim for something safer, not just for few commisions there and there. I'm still not popular so similar things can happen, better focus on something that will really give me money. Well if nothing, later when this all calms down, this crazy situation in the world, and when kikes lose power I will for sure be more in this. Those are my thoughts lately kinda.. I want to advance and to be an artist, just a bit not sure what to feel about it all right now, feeling lots of bad emotions.

Azorm, Just wanna let you know you are a great artist one painting of yours changed my life completely. Just one painting and a little help from you transformed my life completely to the best. Honestly I expected way much less quality for your paintings because paintings can be really hard and not always someone has the talent for it. But I didn't care about quality at that point I just wanted anything that can resemble her. But honestly when I recieved your painting it was beautiful I almost cried you really are a great artist and a wonderful person never doubt that. As for the money it can be a tricky topic but I really can help you with that. I work in alot of online businesses to get them sales and improve their success. So whenever you wanna discuss the topic of building an art business empire where you are the ruler :twisted: Hit me up we can plan for it. Right now just focus on healing yourself and removing whatever negative thing that is making you doubt yourself and unhappy and contact me after you feel better.

 

[SdD]

<<<333
:ugeek:

 

[MoonlessNight666]

I'm looking for some nice new ideas what I can give the Gods in return (not only this time) and I kinda want to give them someting even more they asked me for, like a gift. But okay, I will manage. I mean I understand what you wanna say. Just wanna give something like a gift too + what they are asking for. Usually they help me when I do some extra rituals and some lil sketch of them. I think I know who I will ask for help now. I will figure out something. I guess getting know what they like will help me a lot.

Gift what you want to gift within your interest and capabilities. Most of my gifts are drawings and writings because I am good at both and enjoy both and can express my adoration more easily through it. You don't have to go above and beyond, they know and feel your love more than you're aware.

Okay then. Thanks.

"Posting this as I've recommended it to a few SS. The healthier we are in every way, the better our success, the better our future. You can do a few cycles of 40 days, or one 90 day working, or whatever you feel you need.

I know about healing workings. I'm not new here, just in really deep shit lately and need some extra help. Thanks anyways.

Here's my 2cents on this, I love painting but I am not %100 in my abilities as well and the other day when ı was pondering on the subject I realized that whatever you draw doesn't have to end right there. What Im trying to say is, say you drew Satan's picture. You can always come back to that painting in a year or two when you got better and improved it. Art is an ongoing journey and I personally think it's better to create something best to your abilities than not create it at all. When you draw you also see your shortcomings and u know what to focus on

I had some paintings I thought they are good. I even shared it with some people. I thought that they are okay. Looked again at them before few days... damn hahahahaah
Now idk what to say. Basically everytime you advance and look back at your own work it will look silly, but I started doubting it all. So I am bad artist after all? If something is good shouldn't be good always? I'm feeling stuck lately honestly, lot of bad thoughts are in my head when I'm trying to draw and paint. I'm not feeling confident at all.

And, let's say I have talent. So why things aren't going for me nicely when I try to move in that direction? Apparently all the bad things in me are affecting and blocking me to be a succesful artist. I feel often lot of frustration tho I love art, I feel blocked more and more and angry about it all.

Then, let's be realistic. I live in a small and poor country and it's really hard to get out of here, and if I stay here it will be hard to earn money and to survive. So can I really have enough money with my art? Can I manage to have a decent life?
Some people are like - if you love art just be an artist and earn money from it. Honestly, it's not easy, especially in my situation. I'm trying to be grounded now more and to see can I really stay this way, or I must give up from art?

Being an artist is not easy at all, honestly. You need a peace for it, lots of space and people who will support you and pay you for your arworks, but today for many it's getting hard cause of all that pressure and stress. Like creating something good is not hard enough on it's own, but you always must feel that extra pressure because of things being how they are. It makes you slowly frustrated and can make you feel blocked. I just wanna give up at this point, but I will see still. Gotta see first is there any way for me to get some money from it, cause every time I tried to earn something, it all ended up with me getting no money at all, even when I finished commisions. So I will aim for something safer, not just for few commisions there and there. I'm still not popular so similar things can happen, better focus on something that will really give me money. Well if nothing, later when this all calms down, this crazy situation in the world, and when kikes lose power I will for sure be more in this. Those are my thoughts lately kinda.. I want to advance and to be an artist, just a bit not sure what to feel about it all right now, feeling lots of bad emotions.

Lol i i know exactly how you are feeling becoming a successful artists is already difficult as it is and we SS have to do it while juggling like 8 other things at the same time hahahahaha

Create profiles on :
1Teespring
2RedBubble(jew owned) dont put ur real info
3Fiverr( jew owned) dont put ur real into
4Upwork(dont have personal experiance with this)
5InPrint

These will help u sell ur work online but Inprint and Upwork requires you to upload ur portfolio and RedBubble is infamous for being stingy (suprise suprise)with thier artists cut. As fas as I know for evey 90€ you make you will actually recieve 15€ wich is insane but thats what u get putting ur work on a jew owned platform.

 

[Ignisalas]

So I need a help with healing some nasty traumas. I will do summon one of the Gods and will talk with Satan too about my problems. Gods were helping me with some stuff before too, so it's not the first time I recieved their help. Honestly, they are really humble. They are not asking much in return, at least those who were helping me before. One of them even asked me just to spend some time with them in return.

I'm interested what I can offer to the Gods in return to their help. I know that I can do some extra RTRs, I can maybe draw them or write some poem or something tho honestly I somehow feel that I'm not even so good with drawing portraits of them, I mean idk how much they like it nor how much it means for them ( they looked happy when I drew them few times but idk really are my drawings and paintings that good at all), and with poems and similar it seems I have some internal blockages to do it properly (I'm not really confident with those things at all tbh). Basically I have a feel it would be the best to just do more RTRs in return but is there anything more I can do? Looking for more ideas. This is really important to me and I want to give them something really good in return for their help.

I haven't seen you post in a while, im glad your doing ok with all of this pandemic shit that's happening these days with the jehovavirus. I got a bit worried there for a while and I thought something bad happened to you. I know you can have bad emotional outbursts like me, but you can always change things in your life. Im not in too good of a position to change things for myself, but I know you can do things to change your life to the way you want it to be.

But I know what its like to grow up in a poor area and there hardly any money or anything to be happy with. Theres always things getting in the way and worries crop up out of nowhere about the future and things, and it can cause a lot of bad emotions.
Im glad to see you back on the forums and your doing ok. I was trying to email you to see if you where alright, but protonmail bugged out for a while and it wouldn't send my emails out. I guess I'll just make a new account and see if it works sometime soon.

 

[Azorm]

Im glad to see you back on the forums and your doing ok. I was trying to email you to see if you where alright, but protonmail bugged out for a while and it wouldn't send my emails out. I guess I'll just make a new account and see if it works sometime soon.

Well, I was not feeling talkative so I simply let my protonmail storage full. Naturally everybody who tried to e-mail me recieved the same. I didn't checked it in a while anyways. I just feel too tired and felt blocked to properly talk, kinda feel really bad.

Got also close to someone. Maybe again wrong person. Getting wasted again. I'm such an idiot. But, it's happening too often, almost always same shit, so it's my fault. Bad karma, lots of traumas, lots of anxiety and shit. I guess I can't be close to anybody still. I have lot of work to do, it's impossible to be close to anybody still apparently.

Active on forums again? Nah. Not at all. Not while having so many issues and so much negative energy. It's like invitation to more problems. Just gonna create issues for myself and others. Must take care of some things first, so maybe then I will be able to be more social.

Will empty protonmail storage tho. Sorry.
I can talk a bit more sometimes, but not feeling good at all. I really want to say for once that things are fine in my life, but it's really rarely happening, idk anymore..

 

[Azorm]

Hi Azorm, I feel your struggle in these types of pursuits, what I can say, is that you must be aware that even the most talented successful people, often times, have an extraordinarily difficult time finding success, even despite their talent and hardworking nature.

I think if I could have more confidence it would help me a lot right now. But I was fed too much with bullshit. Honestly my blood family is constanly filling me with it.

Before few days my mom came in my house again ( I live alone but she often comes over a bit) and, almost the first thing she started doing is complaining. So she saw one or two dishes dirty, my bathroom was messy a bit. She suddenly made a huge drama over it and started telling me how I'm lazy, how I have no future, how I can't manage anything, how I am worthless....
I got angry honestly. Got mean and finally told her to stop those things. Just stop.
My whole blood family should just fuck off. I never told them that, but they always keep pressuring me to be successful, but then ruining it for me cause what I'm doing is boring and somehow will hardly help me in the future in any way.

So you grew up in a similar environment. You pick up that nasty shit on one way or another. It creates you blockages and bad thoughtforms. I can hear something like my blood family would like to say all the time when I want to just relax and do my stuff.

There, I have no future.
Based on them I have no future yeah...

I should do a working or two to get rid of those thoughforms. I should have it easier then. I must try harder. It's too early to give up, I love art after all. I will see can I get more popular, maybe to ask the Gods for some advices. Feeling scared now too and I feel extra pressure cause this all what is happening in the world. I mean, war gonna start and I will casually paint? Ehhh idk hahaha
Will see anyways. I actually wanna be a graphic designer or something like that. I have some bad transits messing with me right now so it all looks darker now, my whole view on everything actually, not just on art. Doubting myself a lot, feeling really low and tired of everything, but it will pass.

 

[Azorm]

Azorm, Just wanna let you know you are a great artist one painting of yours changed my life completely. 

Aww thank you. We talk soon. I'm sorry

It will be okay, I will work on those issues as well.

Lol i i know exactly how you are feeling becoming a successful artists is already difficult as it is and we SS have to do it while juggling like 8 other things at the same time hahahahaha

Yeeees. Fuckkk. Do this, do that, do this, do that. Hurry. Hurry more :roll:
Hard to sleep at night.
What the fuk. How to find time and energy for this all. How to do this anything at all ahahahah

Ye I must try harder. I must change some stuff as well. Thank you. I will see can I sell something soon ^^

<<<333 

<33

 

[Azorm]

When I feel shitty I just talk with 1-2 people at max, sometimes barely talk with anybody at all. I just don't feel like I can talk much.

I have problems with depression and anxiety and for some reason they are always coming back, even when i think that I got rid of them.

I lack confidence with some things and I tend to overthink it all sometimes.
I really have tons of issues I have to fix soon.

Sorry guys for acting weird lately here. I am embarrassed for my behaviour in the past.
I'm far from perfect.
Just wanted to say that...