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- Jun 11, 2010
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I've been a Satanist for 6 months. I left the Christian church and sought a new path. I never thought I would come to Satan since I was quite the devoted church girl since 2012. I was a christian since 1998 but became serious then. I stopped having sex and cussing. I literally changed my life.
2016 was a struggle for me. I found myself slowly losing my desire and love for Jesus. I wasn't questioning or doubting. I just didn't desire any of it anymore. I felt very guilty for it but there was no stopping it. I stopped going to church, worship and prayer. My friends thought I was possessed by what they callled a Jezebel spirit. I even had a church pray on me trying to rebuke a demon and I just laughed at them. I knew it wouldn't work because I wasn't possessed. It felt as if I was waking up and I couldn't help but laugh.
I came to Satan rather selfishly. I wanted to turn to black magic and avenge my children. I believed giving Satan my soul would cause him to agree to harm those who harmed them. In this journey I ended up finding a whole new Satan. I realized he was not what I was brought up believing and I then began literally craved him. I did my dedication and black mass rather quickly. I then had some encounters with some of the daemons. I believe one was Beelzebub since he came as a flying insect but was as crystal. His body almost clear and all I could see was his eyes. He hovered in front of me face to face (i could hear his wings) and then shrunk down very small. He flew into me through my nose. This was a dream by the way but it felt so real. Azazel was my second. He was quite sexual and when I asked his name he said Azazel. In fact, he was the reason why I started researching demonolatry. I didn't know who he was until I looked him up. No I don't watch Supernatural. I found that I have astral gifts that I do not know how to control and Azazel actually teaches these things so I figured this was why.
Lately I have had no encounters. Azazel no longer comes to my dreams. Nor am I taken anywhere (I had some OBE where a spirit removed me from my body and took me to another realm). The other spirit who seemed to have more of a sexual and loving nature towards me also has stopped. I am feeling a bit discouraged. I wonder if maybe this is happening because I was distracted from Satan and haven't grown a strong bond with him because I was focusing on Azazel and the other spirit much more.
I had my kundalini awakening but had some bad experiences with spirits that felt as if they were clawing at my forehead trying to tear me open. This happened after my kundalini experiences which included feeling a snake come inside me through my vagina, up my back and then crowning on the top of my head. It hardened like cement. I also had some involuntary jerking, crawling worms in my face and electric sensations. So the clawing started after I was over the Kundalini which is why I know it was other spirits which I didnt know how to protect myself from. I closed my 3rd eye.
So now here I am feeling like I'm alone now. Also regretting closing my 3rd eye because I think this may be why I can no longer hear them. Any advice?
2016 was a struggle for me. I found myself slowly losing my desire and love for Jesus. I wasn't questioning or doubting. I just didn't desire any of it anymore. I felt very guilty for it but there was no stopping it. I stopped going to church, worship and prayer. My friends thought I was possessed by what they callled a Jezebel spirit. I even had a church pray on me trying to rebuke a demon and I just laughed at them. I knew it wouldn't work because I wasn't possessed. It felt as if I was waking up and I couldn't help but laugh.
I came to Satan rather selfishly. I wanted to turn to black magic and avenge my children. I believed giving Satan my soul would cause him to agree to harm those who harmed them. In this journey I ended up finding a whole new Satan. I realized he was not what I was brought up believing and I then began literally craved him. I did my dedication and black mass rather quickly. I then had some encounters with some of the daemons. I believe one was Beelzebub since he came as a flying insect but was as crystal. His body almost clear and all I could see was his eyes. He hovered in front of me face to face (i could hear his wings) and then shrunk down very small. He flew into me through my nose. This was a dream by the way but it felt so real. Azazel was my second. He was quite sexual and when I asked his name he said Azazel. In fact, he was the reason why I started researching demonolatry. I didn't know who he was until I looked him up. No I don't watch Supernatural. I found that I have astral gifts that I do not know how to control and Azazel actually teaches these things so I figured this was why.
Lately I have had no encounters. Azazel no longer comes to my dreams. Nor am I taken anywhere (I had some OBE where a spirit removed me from my body and took me to another realm). The other spirit who seemed to have more of a sexual and loving nature towards me also has stopped. I am feeling a bit discouraged. I wonder if maybe this is happening because I was distracted from Satan and haven't grown a strong bond with him because I was focusing on Azazel and the other spirit much more.
I had my kundalini awakening but had some bad experiences with spirits that felt as if they were clawing at my forehead trying to tear me open. This happened after my kundalini experiences which included feeling a snake come inside me through my vagina, up my back and then crowning on the top of my head. It hardened like cement. I also had some involuntary jerking, crawling worms in my face and electric sensations. So the clawing started after I was over the Kundalini which is why I know it was other spirits which I didnt know how to protect myself from. I closed my 3rd eye.
So now here I am feeling like I'm alone now. Also regretting closing my 3rd eye because I think this may be why I can no longer hear them. Any advice?