From: stevetucsonaz <sdtucsonaz@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012 4:13 AM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: New to the group
Thank you all for the warm welcome.
I've been reading as much as I can on the Joy of Satan site and I tried the breathing exercises outlined in the beginners section of the power meditation part of the site.
If someone told me 10 years ago (or even 1 year ago) that I'd be making a commitment to Satan, I would have told them they were off their rocker. Although I've identified as agnostic these past years, I think my early Catholic upbringing left large residues of fear and guilt within me that never really went away. I've been taking an accounting of my life over the past couple of years, trying to determine where I went wrong and where I was misled. Both of my birth parents died in 2009, and I've been trying to figure out what to do with myself.
I suppose there was still a part of me deep inside which still clung to a belief in the false "bible god" I was raised to believe in, even though my instincts and reason were trying to tell me otherwise. Guilt and fear remained within me like monkeys on my back. I know now that I wasn't born to be a coward, but I was molded that way by disinformation, ignorance, and years of abuse, mainly at the hands of my mother and older brother. It's only been within the past few months that I've finally reached an understanding about that and realized the harm it has done to me.
Despite my doubts, for many years, I was likely emulating Pascal's Wager, trying to live a "moral" life according to the rules and dictates of the religion in which I was raised, just in case all those priests and bishops really were right. But I was never really quite sure whether I was doing the right thing. I was going in circles, constantly worried about making a mistake and feeling guilty about my obvious frustrations about the "bible god." I would think to myself, "screw god" and then fall to my knees saying "no, no, I didn't mean it, please forgive me."
I don't want to go into my whole life story, as it would be pretty long and boring. It's probably not that much different than many others who were raised in religious and abusive families. But finally, last week on Friday, I decided that enough was enough. I was tired of expecting a "miracle" from a false "bible god" that never really cared for me, never loved me, and never had a plan for me (despite all the BS we hear from Christians about that).
To some extent, I accepted the common Christian argument regarding the problem of evil, usually expressed as "If 'god' is so wonderful, why does 'he' allow so much evil?" I can accept the view that sometimes "stuff happens" and that a lot of evil is done by humans against other humans because of free will and that "god" will not interfere in that.
But the worst part of that which I can't accept is that the rules and dictates of the religion in which I was raised pretty much ties our hands. We're not allowed to do anything about injustice, deception and evil. We're just supposed to sit here with our hands tied, turning the other cheek, and loving our enemies. I used to follow those rules, thinking that that was what I was supposed to do, but I can finally now see what utter crap that was.
So, on Friday, I made the decision to turn away from the "bible god" completely. On Saturday, there was a minor power outage in the neighborhood as a result of someone crashing into a power pole nearby. I wasn't sure what that was about, since power outages are an extreme rarity around here.
On Monday, I felt as if I had to make some kind of official declaration to finalize my complete break from the "bible god" and join with Satan, although I knew nothing about the rituals or what I was supposed to do. So, I did a Google search and the Joy of Satan site was the second on the list, and that gave me the information I needed to be able to perform the ritual. At first, I vacillated, thinking that I might wait a few days to think it over, but somehow, I got a very strong urging to perform the ritual that afternoon.
I went over to Walgreens, found some red candles (no black or blue candles were there), and bought 5 for $2.00. I followed the instructions and made a small cut on my left index finger. (Ironically, this was the same finger I accidentally cut when I was in third grade, which happened when I was trying to defend myself from my older brother's abuse, using a sharp kitchen knife. I still have the scar from that.) I've never signed my name in blood before, so that was a bit difficult, but I muddled through that part as best I could. One of the candles melted halfway through when I put the paper on them to burn. It felt rather liberating overall.
Although I didn't actually check ahead of time, when you wrote your post about Mars going retrograde on Tuesday, it seems was a good idea that I did the ritual on Monday and didn't wait. I also realized that it was a New Moon on Monday, so maybe there was something about that day. Not sure.
Anyway, sorry for such a long post, but I just felt I had to get that out there.
Thanks again,
Steve
--- In [url=mailto:
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[email protected][/url], Shannon Outlaw <soutlaw92@... wrote:
Hey Steve! Im happy you found Satan. The feeling you felt is a great feeling and what you need to do is read the entire joyofSatan website because it will tell you what to expect and so on. You will gain knowledge and clarity. So please read it. Secondly, you need to start a power meditation program to increase your power and so on. This is VERY important. Go to the website and click on meditation and start with the beginners. The groups are here for asking questions and for advice. So feel free to ask. We are family. Remember that the goal of satanism is to reach godhead. Immortality. That is satans gift to us. Satanism is a big path where you discover yourself and unlock abilities and so on. Be the best person you can be. Study learn and grow.
Hail our Creator God Satan.
--- In [url=mailto:
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[email protected][/url], Hot Guy <hotstudman95@... wrote:
some are lucky to find even that in candle colors some in this group with issues on finding red, black, or blue candles well some messages ive read here said basically some have not found either one of those 3 colors. some have had to deal with other colors.
you are lucky to find the one man.
if anyone can find even just blue and/or red (i am typing this in case anyone else is reading this) then that alone is good enough.
as its been said
it is the intention that matters
if what you are doing is true in yer heart then it will work.
only thing i cant assist you with is the location as i am all the way in the northwest west coast in Washington state. i in Seattle Northgate right now.
________________________________
From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@...
To: "[url=mailto:
[email protected]]
[email protected][/url]" <[url=mailto:
[email protected]]
[email protected][/url]
Sent: Tuesday, January 24, 2012 5:58 AM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] New to the group
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Welcome to the family Steve!
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Hail Satan
BrianÂ
"I will crush Christianity under my boot like a poisonous toad." - Adolf Hitler