Feeling suicidal

[wolly]

Hi,my father abused me from the age of being born until the age of 18. My father beated me like a brute and manipulated me in all the unpleasent ways a child can think of. My mother instead of supporting me she joined my father side and acted as his personal hooker and instead of giving me love and all that a child needs she manipulated me like a tool in a war.
I tried to fight him but I couldn't.
Why do I have this life of misery and pain? What have I done to Satan and his demons?
All I ever wanted was to live a normal life.
My father who never loved me got married to another lady.
I went to my step-mother(my father's wife) for help and she told me that my father loves me and cares for me. This made me sick and made me puke all day long until I couldn't take it anymore.
She gave me cookies and sandwitches(how the **** is this the right way to treat someone who was hospitalized in a psych ward?) and she told me that is like a second mother to me. I wasn't disturbed by her hospitality but I couldn't take the personal attacks to my mother(to be honest I couldn't care less about attacking my mother) and myself and the fact that she kept saying that I had dysfunctional family.
She kept smoking at me with no respect and I had to blend in and to pretend that I was normal when the reality is that I couldn't take it anymore from a woman who's a manipulative charlatan and my father who blocked the cadastre of the appartment where I was trying to live in.
I feel very lonely at the moment and no one wants to support me.
I felt manipulated by her and I didn't enjoy what she told me about my father.
I tried self harm a lot of times because the advices from here didn't worked out until I stopped and I realised that my life is not progressing in a healthy way.
I'm sick of being treated like I'm a nobody.
Just don't give me advices on how to return to the psych ward because that won't help me at all,it would only make my life worse.
What should I do?
I'm not a jew and I know nothing about jews. Is there someone here who felt the same way as I did?

 

[Jrvan]

Depending on where you live, there are sometimes good local programs that help people find work and get started in life. They can possibly set you up with people who carpool to work. If you live in a city, public transportation is cheap and can easily be covered by your job.

Finding a job should be your first priority. If you're of adult age and still living with your parents right now then consider a homeless shelter as a temporary alternative until you climb up in society a little more. It sounds like it can't be much worse than your current situation, possibly an improvement. Try to talk to people and establish contacts and/or friendships wherever and whenever you can. Knowing people is everything in society. The more connected you are, the better off you are.

You can try praying to Satan, or your Guardian Demon, to ask for help with finding a job and moving away from your parents to start your own life. Once you are away from your parents they can't hurt you or control you anymore, and then you're the boss of your life.

Also do Yoga every day.

 

[Power of Justice [JG]]

Father Satan has not caused your situation. This is terrible and tragic.

But from what you write its hard to give any advice. What do you want to do? You said you're sick of people treating you like a nobody, but that hardly seems like it will help your situation. You need to think for yourself in what direction you want your life to go to. Only then can you begin to plan ahead.

What are your skills, education, etc? Think if everything you can use and make a plan for your dream life.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

...

This is a very unfortunate situation. It is not surprising that you are feeling lonely, given the abuse you received.

There is not an easy solution to this because you will have to heal your trauma and you cannot easily "fix" your parents. You are open to support from here or other friends, but this does not replace parental support.

You will want to do your best to live away from them, which will give you time away from these people and the ability to relax and heal. I would highly advise you seek support from a therapist or similar services, which will definitely help you on an emotional level.

We cannot fix our past, but we can work on our future. The fact that you survived until this point is a tremendous show of strength. Therefore, you cannot give up now.

Now you are an adult and you have the tools to fix this, but this will take time. The way out of this will be through your personal efforts, and so you cannot stop your spiritual routine.

When you are able, you can use runes like Wunjo and Berkano to resolve the trauma which you have experienced, therefore giving you a new outlook on life.

Lastly, the Gods always hear your problems and are extremely sympathetic. Feel free to talk to this about them and receive their support, as well.

 

[Shiva666]

Listen, calm down.

Suicide is not solution.

Firstly, if you are not dedicated to Satan , dedicate first . Because dedication to Satan make our SS life 80% eazy and will give you 100% spiritual protection.
https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/SATANIC.html

Secondly, Do standard ritual
https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Ritual.html

Pray to Satan and Gods and mentally share your problem to Satan and Gods.

Thirdly, Do binding ritual if needed .
https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Binding_Spell.html

Fourthly, If you are totally new, please read this link https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=65997

And Study our Joy of Satan website daily https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/HOME.html

In the last , I want to say that if you want to be spiritualy strong and bond to our gods and with us, then practice this spiritual warfare training 6 month program exercise https://satanisgod.org/hailtosatansvictory666.angelfire.com/Spiritual_Warfare_Training.html


Stay strong.

Hail Satan

 

[Hp. Hoodedcobra666]

Hi,my father abused me from the age of being born until the age of 18. ...
Why do I have this life of misery and pain? What have I done to Satan and his demons?
All I ever wanted was to live a normal life.
....
I'm not a jew and I know nothing about jews. Is there someone here who felt the same way as I did?

This has nothing to do with wronging any of the Gods, never think of this. These situations arise out of the neglience of other human beings which can happen to be one's parents. This is not punishment from the Gods in anyway.

In fact, the Gods are both about justice and merciful here. They take people who might be very low in life, and teach them the Truth so that one might heal and escape from this ignorance. Our world operates in a bad manner due to the enemy and ignorance combined.

We are given the key to escape through the Gods, but we have to put this in the lock and start walking out of this toxicity.

When we get these negative events, the mind tries to find an explanation on why these have occurred, but this source is essentially the parents themselves. They have been bad, careless individuals, and many people have careless or abusive individuals as parents.

Many parents worldwide are simply unfit to be parents, and they have many unworked issues that allow evil to grow inside them. They express this evil on their children because they are not spiritual people and they have not dealt with their inner negativity.

Unfortunately, innocents pay the price for this. You have been innocent and have done nothing to deserve any of this. But you are a good person and therefore you should focus to live and survive, not to finish your own life.

Even more so, with the current evil and stupid level of mind of most human beings, the "normal" is centered around abuse and other negativity. Most people have at least some of this in their lives, and very bad and abusive parents are very common.

Now that you are old enough, you can move away from their abuse, and meditation is the blessing from the Gods to help you heal all the inner wounds they left you with, or even have the power to retaliate and put them in their place.

You are not responsible for what has happened to you, and therefore, suicide is also pointless, as you will be attacking yourself and in this case you have been a victim and nothing else.

Do you need to heal first? What is your living situation? What are your priorities? Explain to us if you want so the community can help you better.

 

[CrossRoadsPedestrian]

i usually tell people who are suicidal;

if you kill yourself then you will be reincarnated into a much worse living situation. that is your punishment taking away your precious life that was given to you.

i dont know if this is true, but it is quite effective at making people reassess their life situation



on a more sympathetic note, im sorry you had to deal with such horrible people, but your potential is limitless, you shouldn't trap yourself into limited thinking.

 

[wolly]

Currently,I'm living with my mother who provided support last year with the help of the relatives. Right now,I'm in college and I get an adult allowance from my father but for that I have to report him to the police for that kind of a help.
I'm not in a good financial situation and I went to the relatives for help but they seemed disturbed by my presence.
What's wrong with asking for help if you own parents can't support you?

 

[BrightSpace666]

Hi,my father abused me from the age of being born until the age of 18. My father beated me like a brute and manipulated me in all the unpleasent ways a child can think of. My mother instead of supporting me she joined my father side and acted as his personal hooker and instead of giving me love and all that a child needs she manipulated me like a tool in a war.
I tried to fight him but I couldn't.
Why do I have this life of misery and pain? What have I done to Satan and his demons?
All I ever wanted was to live a normal life.
My father who never loved me got married to another lady.
I went to my step-mother(my father's wife) for help and she told me that my father loves me and cares for me. This made me sick and made me puke all day long until I couldn't take it anymore.
She gave me cookies and sandwitches(how the **** is this the right way to treat someone who was hospitalized in a psych ward?) and she told me that is like a second mother to me. I wasn't disturbed by her hospitality but I couldn't take the personal attacks to my mother(to be honest I couldn't care less about attacking my mother) and myself and the fact that she kept saying that I had dysfunctional family.
She kept smoking at me with no respect and I had to blend in and to pretend that I was normal when the reality is that I couldn't take it anymore from a woman who's a manipulative charlatan and my father who blocked the cadastre of the appartment where I was trying to live in.
I feel very lonely at the moment and no one wants to support me.
I felt manipulated by her and I didn't enjoy what she told me about my father.
I tried self harm a lot of times because the advices from here didn't worked out until I stopped and I realised that my life is not progressing in a healthy way.
I'm sick of being treated like I'm a nobody.
Just don't give me advices on how to return to the psych ward because that won't help me at all,it would only make my life worse.
What should I do?
I'm not a jew and I know nothing about jews. Is there someone here who felt the same way as I did?

I am sorry for everything that happened to you as a child. Such atrocities can haunt a person for a long time, and can cause subconscious blockages. What you can do is make things right within yourself. You are not to blame, you did nothing wrong, keep that in mind. Only the people who have hurt you, either mentally or physically, are to blame.

I know it's hard to get out of this, but as a Satanic Spirit you have to try. Unfortunately, there are many people who live their daily lives like this, with such wounds in their souls, yet they cannot do anything about it. But you are SS, so you can. Think rationally about the whole situation and realize that there was nothing wrong with you, just your abusers.

They may have done this to you because of some psychological phenomenon. Many people who hurt others have actually suffered this in the past, so they want to give it back to "fate", so to speak. But it is not your fault. If you look deeper into your soul, you will see the real you, you will know who you are and you will know your worth.

When I was "hurting" myself, I had one thought in my head, "You are hurting Satan". We come from Him, we are His. So if you hurting ourself, we hurting Satan. Through Satan we come to Truth, through Truth to progress, and through progress to Perfection.

I believe and I know it must be difficult, you feel like everyone is against you. Clear your mind and soul, do Returning Curses 1-2, build a Protective Aura around yourself, and meditate systematically. It is through meditation that you will truly unfold as a person and an individual. Cleanse yourself over a long period of time, even dedicating a 40-day or two to it.

Go through your life - write down people who have hurt you in some way. One by one, mentally vent your anger on them. Get angry, cry - it has a clearing effect. When you've done each one and feel mentally cleansed, you can move on to the next. Free yourself from delusions, for example that everyone is against you, that you feel alone.

Get close to people, make friends and get to know them. They treat you as if you are "nobody" because they are not sophisticated enough to notice you. Satan and the Gods know our worth, we have to match them. Be yourself, if you don't like something about yourself, accept it, then change it.

Destructive thoughts like delusion or even paranoia come from human relationships. One's first experience is in the home, and this impression shapes one's subsequent outlook. Accept what I have written and work on yourself. I have experienced first hand that Spiritual Satanism is not for the faint hearted. I didn't call you weak, I merely pointed out that you have a difficult road ahead of you, as everyone does.

You can do it, just trust yourself. Forget about other people's opinions and disparaging comments about you, just focus on yourself, without prejudice. You can do it, I trust you.

 

[wolly]

I'm having a dilemma as a student in college. My parents divorced 6-7 months ago and I suffered a trauma,from that moment I realized that my father manipulated me from my childhood. All he wanted from me was to use me as a tool for my performance in school and highschool and he didn't teached me some important life lessons like how to use the electrical tools and mechanical tools,how to talk to a girl,etc.
We are trying to sell an appartment which costs 65 000 euros(the price is outrageous and I have some doubts that someone will buy it even at the price of 60 000 euros) but unfortunately no one is interested in the place.
The appartment has 3 rooms,one 2 small bathrooms.
I'm in college in the second year and I don't know how to pass most of the subjects anymore. My relatives stepped aside because my mom sent some messages about myself having suicidal thoughts and the only answer received was money for a while.
I went to visit my goddaughter and godson(relatives) and they told us that
my mom has to put her mind in her head and that she is overreacting with the divorce.My godson told me that he lives in a house so he has no idea how the debts in the appartment are paid(for a while starting from september to october we(me and my mom) couldn't pay the bills and we had to live in the dark without internet,gases,heat).
He also told me that I should get a job but that would mean to quit college because there is no way you can study and work at the same time. I tried living with my mom from my social scholarship but after a few months we started starving to death(we were hungry and had nothing to eat).
What should I do? Should I start getting a job and earn money?
The result of that would be to quit college.
Is that a good idea?

 

[wolly]

I felt like this because I had no support from the family to go to college. It's not fair that my ex colleagues had support from their families while I had to beg from my own relatives for help.
Do you know how it feels when your own dream is destroyed by your own parents?

 

[Aquarius]

I felt like this because I had no support from the family to go to college. It's not fair that my ex colleagues had support from their families while I had to beg from my own relatives for help.
Do you know how it feels when your own dream is destroyed by your own parents?

Working and studying is not impossible, there are many people who do that, it takes more willpower and time but it's completely possible.

 

[Power of Justice [JG]]

Do you know how it feels when your own dream is destroyed by your own parents?

Why do you feel like you need the support of your parents to accomplish your dream? All you need is yourself, and to belive in what you are doing. More often than not, the people closest to us fail to see or understand out ambitions, that should not stop you.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

...
What should I do? Should I start getting a job and earn money?
The result of that would be to quit college.
Is that a good idea?

If you are on your second year and having trouble passing classes, then it may be better to take a break from college instead.

That does not mean you can never complete it later, or that you can never get a good job or complete other goals like that. However, as you said, you cannot do both college and work. Also, you have to factor in time to meditate.

Through your spiritual powers, you can do large-scale energy workings with energy like Jupiter/Fehu or the Sun/Sowilo to start bringing wealth into your life. This can be started sooner than you think, but it is necessary that you develop competency with the basics of Satanism.

Therefore, your dreams are definitely not crushed. This is only an obstacle that will be resolved over time. You only need to find time and energy (food) to devote to spiritual practice.

 

[FathersChild]

There is logic... and there is imagination. I understand the logic behind you wanting to kill yourself. It would be like pulling the plug. Quick and simple correct? Not so. Your trauma will be there in your next life only you won't even know why that trauma is there or that it is trauma at all. As opposed to you knowing why you feel this way in the life that you have right now.
As you would use logic to kill yourself(a desperate move against the self which always avoids death as long as it can) you must now start using imagination or passion/intuition... magic to rise up out of this rubble that your parents have dropped on you. You can start by imagining what you wish things were like and coming to terms with the fact that it can actually be done. People like can ruin your life for you but seldom can they make your life good for you.

 

[Blackdragon666]

I'm having a dilemma as a student in college. My parents divorced 6-7 months ago and I suffered a trauma,from that moment I realized that my father manipulated me from my childhood. All he wanted from me was to use me as a tool for my performance in school and highschool and he didn't teached me some important life lessons like how to use the electrical tools and mechanical tools,how to talk to a girl,etc.
We are trying to sell an appartment which costs 65 000 euros(the price is outrageous and I have some doubts that someone will buy it even at the price of 60 000 euros) but unfortunately no one is interested in the place.
The appartment has 3 rooms,one 2 small bathrooms.
I'm in college in the second year and I don't know how to pass most of the subjects anymore. My relatives stepped aside because my mom sent some messages about myself having suicidal thoughts and the only answer received was money for a while.
I went to visit my goddaughter and godson(relatives) and they told us that
my mom has to put her mind in her head and that she is overreacting with the divorce.My godson told me that he lives in a house so he has no idea how the debts in the appartment are paid(for a while starting from september to october we(me and my mom) couldn't pay the bills and we had to live in the dark without internet,gases,heat).
He also told me that I should get a job but that would mean to quit college because there is no way you can study and work at the same time. I tried living with my mom from my social scholarship but after a few months we started starving to death(we were hungry and had nothing to eat).
What should I do? Should I start getting a job and earn money?
The result of that would be to quit college.
Is that a good idea?

You have been through a lot. Some of us suffer way more than others in life. But I'd like you to know that all of that doesn't define you. You are still young and you can turn your life around and make something meaningful out of it.

You need to be kind to yourself. If the world isn't kind to you, don't you agree it's wise to at least be kind to yourself? Being kind to yourself involves not beating yourself down or focusing on the negative thoughts. Think about how you'd want your life to be like. Visualize it in your mind clearly. Then believe it can happen and you deserve it.

There's countless stories of people who went through absolute shit but turned their lives around. You can do it too. If life was meant to kill you, you'd have been dead already. But you are here and you still have a chance at a better life.

If you give up all the suffering you have been through will have been in vain. No one, not even yourself will have benefitted from it. But if you hold on and begin to slowly start turning your life around, you'll be very happy and successful someday and many people will be blessed and inspired by you.

Your relatives don't want to help you? Fine. Use this as drive to build something. You can start with a job. As long as you pay bills and buy food, you're good. This will help you get a place of your own.

From there you can start fixing your soul. It is very possible to heal all the trauma that you have through the knowledge that we provide. I used to be very hurt over my father who was absent in my life but nowadays I don't even feel anything about him.

You can heal your mind and soul and be a much better person. You are much more important than you think.

As you work on yourself, you can attract better jobs, learn skills that pay well, learn things like marketing that can bring you decent side income and so on. And you'll end up a much more quality person.

If you give up, you will be throwing away all the good things life can bring you. And what's worse is that you will just get another lifetime that is similar to this when you reincarnate. I'm sure you don't want to do this again.

Be kind and patient to yourself and take one step at a time. We will be here to support you however we can but you must make the decision to face your life head on. Like I told you, if life was meant to kill you, you'd have died already. But you are here and you have the chance to fix your life just by being alive.

All the best and take care.

 

[wolly]

I'm not a spiritual person so how can I contact Satan and his demons to help me with my suicidal thoughts?
Spiritual person as in I can use my imagination with their sigils and enns but nothing speaks with me.
What else can I do if my astral sight is not achieved?

 

[magus.immortalis]

I'm not a spiritual person so how can I contact Satan and his demons to help me with my suicidal thoughts?
Spiritual person as in I can use my imagination with their sigils and enns but nothing speaks with me.
What else can I do if my astral sight is not achieved?

If you are sincere about coming to Satan and Satanism, I gently recommend doing the dedication ritual:

https://joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/SATANIC.html

Satan and the Powers of Hell, in particular your Guardian Demon/ess, know what's going on with you all the time. They've always got an eye on us and come to us to guide and protect us.

Speak in your mind to them, address them politely and respectfully.
I didn't suggest talking out loud to them because you don't live alone yet, and the walls are probably thin, or people nosy.

Everyone comes to spiritual Satanism and Satan with different levels of psychic ability. Not everyone has it at first, but with dedication to a meditation program, and working on opening their clairaudient and clairvoyant chakras, they can exceed a natural that doesn't work on their gifts.

You have to work on your astral sight and hearing, daily, even if it's only for five minutes. It will add up!

 

[Missrainbow]

Its so sad what is happening to you(((I wish I could help you((( but suicide is not the solution( you may reincarnate in a worse situation....I understand that you are sad and I really hope you get better soon)
Father Satan loves and protects his own people)
All these problems and chaos is happening because of jews and people's ignorance

 

[wolly]

I'm not a spiritual person so how can I contact Satan and his demons to help me with my suicidal thoughts?
Spiritual person as in I can use my imagination with their sigils and enns but nothing speaks with me.
What else can I do if my astral sight is not achieved?

If you are sincere about coming to Satan and Satanism, I gently recommend doing the dedication ritual:

https://joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/SATANIC.html

Satan and the Powers of Hell, in particular your Guardian Demon/ess, know what's going on with you all the time. They've always got an eye on us and come to us to guide and protect us.

Speak in your mind to them, address them politely and respectfully.
I didn't suggest talking out loud to them because you don't live alone yet, and the walls are probably thin, or people nosy.

Everyone comes to spiritual Satanism and Satan with different levels of psychic ability. Not everyone has it at first, but with dedication to a meditation program, and working on opening their clairaudient and clairvoyant chakras, they can exceed a natural that doesn't work on their gifts.

You have to work on your astral sight and hearing, daily, even if it's only for five minutes. It will add up!

I'm unbaptized.Do I still have to make the ritual if I was never a christian?

 

[magus.immortalis]

I'm not a spiritual person so how can I contact Satan and his demons to help me with my suicidal thoughts?
Spiritual person as in I can use my imagination with their sigils and enns but nothing speaks with me.
What else can I do if my astral sight is not achieved?

If you are sincere about coming to Satan and Satanism, I gently recommend doing the dedication ritual:

https://joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/SATANIC.html

Satan and the Powers of Hell, in particular your Guardian Demon/ess, know what's going on with you all the time. They've always got an eye on us and come to us to guide and protect us.

Speak in your mind to them, address them politely and respectfully.
I didn't suggest talking out loud to them because you don't live alone yet, and the walls are probably thin, or people nosy.

Everyone comes to spiritual Satanism and Satan with different levels of psychic ability. Not everyone has it at first, but with dedication to a meditation program, and working on opening their clairaudient and clairvoyant chakras, they can exceed a natural that doesn't work on their gifts.

You have to work on your astral sight and hearing, daily, even if it's only for five minutes. It will add up!

I'm unbaptized.Do I still have to make the ritual if I was never a christian?

Yes, that is how you get Satan's protection and guidance, along with the guidance of your Guardian Demon/ess.
The dedication ritual is important to do for a spiritual Satanist.