Extreme self-hatred

[MercuryWisdom]

Hey, brothers and sisters.

Also, yes I know I can sound like a broken record here and keep asking the same thing/s. Sometimes I just want to vent in the form of a question.

But right now I wanted to start some workings I have a couple in mind just waiting for the right timing.

I wanted to ask for a working for extreme self-hatred and self-loathing. Sometimes I even enjoy this on a masochistic level.

I don't usually if ever feel worthy of love especially towards myself. Sometimes people say they love me or I am a good person which makes me happy but I can't mentally/psychologically comprehend that they actually love me I just take their word for it and that's the only form of love I can comprehend.

Which sometimes makes me attached to the people I care about and afraid of them leaving me which makes me paranoid and needy/obsessive.

Recently, because of this great fear and paranoia I cut ties with people I care about on impulse and block them/completely cut them off. So they don't leave me first eventually.

I can also be impulsive and anxious and recently this has been greatly increased because of too many betrayals by loved ones.

I feel really lonely and I have no one close anymore it seems. Having self-hate and low self-esteem can make this feel worse because there is no one to give this need externally so I want to atleast be self-sufficient and not have to rely on people to feel like I deserve to exist.

 

[Lightning_Puma]

Hey, brothers and sisters.

Also, yes I know I can sound like a broken record here and keep asking the same thing/s. Sometimes I just want to vent in the form of a question.

But right now I wanted to start some workings I have a couple in mind just waiting for the right timing.

I wanted to ask for a working for extreme self-hatred and self-loathing. Sometimes I even enjoy this on a masochistic level.

I don't usually if ever feel worthy of love especially towards myself. Sometimes people say they love me or I am a good person which makes me happy but I can't mentally/psychologically comprehend that they actually love me I just take their word for it and that's the only form of love I can comprehend.

Which sometimes makes me attached to the people I care about and afraid of them leaving me which makes me paranoid and needy/obsessive.

Recently, because of this great fear and paranoia I cut ties with people I care about on impulse and block them/completely cut them off. So they don't leave me first eventually.

I can also be impulsive and anxious and recently this has been greatly increased because of too many betrayals by loved ones.

I feel really lonely and I have no one close anymore it seems. Having self-hate and low self-esteem can make this feel worse because there is no one to give this need externally so I want to atleast be self-sufficient and not have to rely on people to feel like I deserve to exist.

I'm sorry you are going through this, perhaps emotional healing + removing repressed emotions can heal you?

Look through these workings and choose a few to do, it'll help you in the long run!

https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=242350#p242350

 

[Henu the Great]

Daily working on chakras will help a lot.

 

[Alexandros Iowno [JG]]

As long as we are here you are never alone or unloved. This goes for all SS. Try to transmute this in your life in time, and know you can anchor your heart to the Joy of Satan and Satan everytime.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

Hey, brothers and sisters.

Also, yes I know I can sound like a broken record here and keep asking the same thing/s. Sometimes I just want to vent in the form of a question.

But right now I wanted to start some workings I have a couple in mind just waiting for the right timing.

I wanted to ask for a working for extreme self-hatred and self-loathing. Sometimes I even enjoy this on a masochistic level.

I don't usually if ever feel worthy of love especially towards myself. Sometimes people say they love me or I am a good person which makes me happy but I can't mentally/psychologically comprehend that they actually love me I just take their word for it and that's the only form of love I can comprehend.

Which sometimes makes me attached to the people I care about and afraid of them leaving me which makes me paranoid and needy/obsessive.

Recently, because of this great fear and paranoia I cut ties with people I care about on impulse and block them/completely cut them off. So they don't leave me first eventually.

I can also be impulsive and anxious and recently this has been greatly increased because of too many betrayals by loved ones.

I feel really lonely and I have no one close anymore it seems. Having self-hate and low self-esteem can make this feel worse because there is no one to give this need externally so I want to atleast be self-sufficient and not have to rely on people to feel like I deserve to exist.

I'm sorry you are going through this, perhaps emotional healing + removing repressed emotions can heal you?

Look through these workings and choose a few to do, it'll help you in the long run!

https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=242350#p242350

Thank you will look through them they look comprehensive.

 

[AFODO]

Look at you, look at your soul. You see how its shining? You see you chakras like gems that makes you special? These gems inside you is priceless, and makes you one of those who are realy worth everything.
You are shining. You are so strong and powerful compered to the avarge person, that you can't even have these thought that you have sometimes.
And now look at the others. They are so dark you can't even see them. You are way more than an avarge person, you are with the gods of the univers, you will be one of them one day.
You are walking on the path that makes you so special, that you are blindingly shining in the crowd.
You are more than your friends, you are more than your partners you are just more than everybody that is not on your level of advancement, and (sadly) there are not many of us.

The next step for you to shine even brighter, is that you realize and explore your worthy and beautifulness.

Nobody is worthless especially an SS.
You have to realize that you are one of the ones, who is saving our planet, and this is a very very very big thing.

Love is one of the best feelings. The ones who loves you, is blessed with a goddesses candidate.

Everybody that left you, left a powerfull being. YOU WORTH MORE THAN THEM. It's their problem not yours.

For next time, get yourself an SS or somebody that into spirituality and make him an SS. You don't want these worthless souls leaving a negative mark in your powerfull being.

Please get to know yourself. We worth everything. Walk your path, be proud of yourself for what you have done, and see what you can do in the future. You are doing god's work, It is a miracle todays.