Pippin23
New member
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2024
- Messages
- 39
I did not grow up Christian at all. I’m in the United States. My mom refused to let my fathers side of the family baptize me. She said “something about it felt wrong and evil, you were just a baby, what sins would you need cleansed of if they don’t believe in multiple lives.”
I grew up unlike everyone around me. With a single mom, who believed in witchcraft and spirituality. I went to a few gatherings. For instance on two different occasions I have been told that my spirit animal is a honey badger.
I lived in a far-right Christian epicenter. I hated them. Even when I was little. Not the people. I hated the religion. I remember just knowing that they were the reason for our downfall. That they keep us from advancing. I remember arguing with my father when I would visit in the summer. He would push Christian ideals onto me that my mother never exposed me to, and I would argue with him until the subject was literally banned by my stepmom.
I also felt off with Wicca and spirituality. So I looked into eastern religions.
I found nothing good. I found broad concepts that felt right in my heart from looking into all of these religions. For instance meditation to find inner peace. Wonderful concept.
I have deeply hated Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. As well as modern Hinduism. I am a woman, specifically a gay woman.
These religions practice nothing but pain for women.
I remember a while back having a conversation that lead to a lot of journaling. That conversation was about how inhumane all modern dominant religions seem. This lead me to realizing how children in the US are brought into this world.. trauma. No magick. Trauma. Drugs. Immediate pain. Strangers. And for half of us born male- genital mutilation.
All of that to say that I feel the pain of the world.
In getting to know myself I’ve noticed I’m just in-touch. I know things. And I can never tell you how. I just do. I could meet you and tell you if your partner is cheating on you. It’s all based on feeling and mental flashes. It’s frightened me actually. For instance I know for a fact my brother is a pedo. I just know he is. I feel it.
Here is a silly example:
When the little gaggle of rich people ventured down to the titanic and were missing. The moment I read about it, I felt this cold.. crushing feeling and just knew they were gone. I literally won a bet because of this.
That’s the other thing- I’ve never lost a bet when guessing what is going on in a situation. My gf has yet to win a foot rub when we are guessing what is going on in social situations. This weird ability I have even freaks her out. As I exposed atrocious things going on in her family. By just.. knowing it.
When I started reading about JOS. I know. I know it’s real. I’ve cried, I’ve felt extremely angry and emotionally overwhelmed. I can’t sleep well. I feel it. I’ve felt it since I was born. I’ve felt this deep seated anger towards religion.
I can’t explain how I know this all to be so true. My soul. It feels it.
Ever since- my gf who was raised in an extreme Mormon cult feels it too. She knows. She doesn’t have these intuitions. I will probably make an entire post concerning her.
From here on out I will dedicate myself to the teachings of old. I will dedicate myself to humanity and Satan. I will build this energy and power I’ve always known to have within me.
I will do my best to help the love of my life heal her heart from what she was put through.
My mom has direct experience with the greys. It only happened for a few years at one particular home. This home I became deeply afraid of the dark, I refused to sleep without our Mastiff in my room. She literally refers to this home as the “home that my daughter got anxiety from”
I was only 7. She used to wake up literally screaming at them from bed. She had never nor does now, wake up screaming at grey creatures that woke her from her sleep. Dispite this experience she believed what her coven taught her- that they are beings who do not wish us harm. I had one experience with one in this home. Which lead to an intense fear of gollum from Lord of the rings. I was awake laying in my room in Idaho, I had a bunkbead. It was a made of log. I felt cold, and scared, looked down to see two giant yellow eyes looking at me through the bars of my bed. Typing this out I’m fucking anxious. The fear…I started screaming at it to leave. The dog was bellowing at it shaking the room. My mom literally came flying in the room with a gun because she thought someone broke into my room.
A few months later we went and watched lord of the rings in theater.. the fellowship. The scene where we first see gollum spying on them looking through the bars of the bed literally made me pee myself and run out of the theater. (I was 7). It felt so similar.
Those beings.. I can still see them when I think about them. A while back when I was told they are in fact aliens and not spirits. My heart/gut. That voice/feeling I get about things told me that was true. And when I focused on them I could almost see them. It brings me physical nausea every time I do this.
I can’t believe the ways I’ve been harming myself spiritually. I can’t believe I didn’t learn this sooner. How can you see those beings and not know in your soul they are evil?
Thank you Maxine and all others involved. I can’t explain how deep this has felt in my heart and soul. I am angry, I have never experienced such.. truth in my heart. I see it.
Thank you.
Sorry for the length of this. I don’t have a book of shadows yet. I will get one soon.
I’ve attached a picture of gollum in that scene and I think y’all will understand hopefully it works.
I grew up unlike everyone around me. With a single mom, who believed in witchcraft and spirituality. I went to a few gatherings. For instance on two different occasions I have been told that my spirit animal is a honey badger.
I lived in a far-right Christian epicenter. I hated them. Even when I was little. Not the people. I hated the religion. I remember just knowing that they were the reason for our downfall. That they keep us from advancing. I remember arguing with my father when I would visit in the summer. He would push Christian ideals onto me that my mother never exposed me to, and I would argue with him until the subject was literally banned by my stepmom.
I also felt off with Wicca and spirituality. So I looked into eastern religions.
I found nothing good. I found broad concepts that felt right in my heart from looking into all of these religions. For instance meditation to find inner peace. Wonderful concept.
I have deeply hated Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. As well as modern Hinduism. I am a woman, specifically a gay woman.
These religions practice nothing but pain for women.
I remember a while back having a conversation that lead to a lot of journaling. That conversation was about how inhumane all modern dominant religions seem. This lead me to realizing how children in the US are brought into this world.. trauma. No magick. Trauma. Drugs. Immediate pain. Strangers. And for half of us born male- genital mutilation.
All of that to say that I feel the pain of the world.
In getting to know myself I’ve noticed I’m just in-touch. I know things. And I can never tell you how. I just do. I could meet you and tell you if your partner is cheating on you. It’s all based on feeling and mental flashes. It’s frightened me actually. For instance I know for a fact my brother is a pedo. I just know he is. I feel it.
Here is a silly example:
When the little gaggle of rich people ventured down to the titanic and were missing. The moment I read about it, I felt this cold.. crushing feeling and just knew they were gone. I literally won a bet because of this.
That’s the other thing- I’ve never lost a bet when guessing what is going on in a situation. My gf has yet to win a foot rub when we are guessing what is going on in social situations. This weird ability I have even freaks her out. As I exposed atrocious things going on in her family. By just.. knowing it.
When I started reading about JOS. I know. I know it’s real. I’ve cried, I’ve felt extremely angry and emotionally overwhelmed. I can’t sleep well. I feel it. I’ve felt it since I was born. I’ve felt this deep seated anger towards religion.
I can’t explain how I know this all to be so true. My soul. It feels it.
Ever since- my gf who was raised in an extreme Mormon cult feels it too. She knows. She doesn’t have these intuitions. I will probably make an entire post concerning her.
From here on out I will dedicate myself to the teachings of old. I will dedicate myself to humanity and Satan. I will build this energy and power I’ve always known to have within me.
I will do my best to help the love of my life heal her heart from what she was put through.
My mom has direct experience with the greys. It only happened for a few years at one particular home. This home I became deeply afraid of the dark, I refused to sleep without our Mastiff in my room. She literally refers to this home as the “home that my daughter got anxiety from”
I was only 7. She used to wake up literally screaming at them from bed. She had never nor does now, wake up screaming at grey creatures that woke her from her sleep. Dispite this experience she believed what her coven taught her- that they are beings who do not wish us harm. I had one experience with one in this home. Which lead to an intense fear of gollum from Lord of the rings. I was awake laying in my room in Idaho, I had a bunkbead. It was a made of log. I felt cold, and scared, looked down to see two giant yellow eyes looking at me through the bars of my bed. Typing this out I’m fucking anxious. The fear…I started screaming at it to leave. The dog was bellowing at it shaking the room. My mom literally came flying in the room with a gun because she thought someone broke into my room.
A few months later we went and watched lord of the rings in theater.. the fellowship. The scene where we first see gollum spying on them looking through the bars of the bed literally made me pee myself and run out of the theater. (I was 7). It felt so similar.
Those beings.. I can still see them when I think about them. A while back when I was told they are in fact aliens and not spirits. My heart/gut. That voice/feeling I get about things told me that was true. And when I focused on them I could almost see them. It brings me physical nausea every time I do this.
I can’t believe the ways I’ve been harming myself spiritually. I can’t believe I didn’t learn this sooner. How can you see those beings and not know in your soul they are evil?
Thank you Maxine and all others involved. I can’t explain how deep this has felt in my heart and soul. I am angry, I have never experienced such.. truth in my heart. I see it.
Thank you.
Sorry for the length of this. I don’t have a book of shadows yet. I will get one soon.
I’ve attached a picture of gollum in that scene and I think y’all will understand hopefully it works.
!
