I have been into satanism for years now, but only on and off, due to distractions. I have recently come back to it, but I have always had a very hard time meditating and doing anything other than getting into a trance. I believe that I have always had some weak psychic abilities, but these JOS meditations and such really just are not helping me, even though I am well aware of their power. Where would be a good place to start? I have tried these meditations, and even the hell's army program, but I simply go nowhere (I am also pretty certain this isn't from psychic attacks). The most I have gotten was a feeling of relief when doing rituals, but I can't really do rituals anymore, due to a lack of privacy (im a junior in high school).